Chameleon
( Father Koesler - 13 )
William X. Kienzle
William X. Kienzle
Chameleon
1
“Why would a nun be on the make?”
“Wait a minute, I think I heard this one. But the way I heard it, the nun leaves the-whaddya call it? — the convent, the order, whatever. It’s the middle of the school year, the wrong time for the job market, her being a teacher and everything. So, to tide her over, she gets a job as a hooker. And she does fantastic business.
“Her pimp can’t figure it out. She isn’t that great a looker, but she’s bringing in twice the trade of any of his other girls. So, to learn how she does it, the pimp bugs her room. He hears her, usin’ that tone of voice kindergarten teachers use-only she’s talkin’ to a john. And she’s sayin’, ‘No, no! You’re doing it all wrong. You’re going to have to do it over and over again until you get it right!’”
“Very funny. But I wasn’t joking.”
“Whaddya mean?”
“Over there …”Under cover of his newspaper he gestured toward the far side of the lobby of the Pontchartrain.
“What?” The other man’s eyes followed the direction of the gesture, but he could detect nothing out of the ordinary.
“Over there, Fred: sitting on the couch … near the lamp. She’s doing her nails.”
Fred pinpointed her. “Oh, yeah, What gives you the idea she’s a nun?”
“That’s about as uniformed as they get nowadays. It’s called a modified habit.”
“That’s a nun?” Fred was not buying it. Not yet. “Go on! I’ve seen pictures of them!”
“Lately?”
“Sure! On TV. Ingrid Bergman. Loretta Young.”
“Fred, those are old movies. You find a nun dressed in an oldfashioned habit from head to toe now, she’s in a nursing home or she’s wacko or senile.”
“Well, pardon me, Al; we can’t all be good Catholics like you.”
“Just read a paper once in a while, willya, Fred.”
“Why? You can get all the news you need in a half hour on TV.”
“Even so, you musta seen nuns on the news. They’re always protesting nuclear power plants or war or they’re feeding the poor or something.”
“Oh, yeah, there’s Mother Teresa, I know her, But she wears the habit.”
“That’s a sari. But I’ll give you it looks like a habit. Haven’t you seen any of the other nuns?”
“Al, if they’re not wearin’ a habit, how would I know?”
“Well, for one thing, the TV reporter identifies them.”
“I guess I haven’t been payin’ that much attention.” Fred sounded repentant. “But take that little lady over there. How’d you know she’s a nun?”
“The veil mostly.”
“That’s a veil? Don’t look like a veil to me. Not a nun-type veil. Where’s that stuff they used to wear around their faces that pinched their cheeks and mouth?”
Al sighed deeply. He would not have made a patient teacher. “That’s why I called it a modified habit. The veil sits back on her head, lets her hair show. It’s supposed to remind you of what the wimple-the old veil-was like. Same with the rest of the habit … uniform would be a better name for it.” His tone made it clear he intended the term to be derogatory. Continuing the comparison, he added, “And that starched white collar is what’s left of the … you know, the bib. There’s even a scapular.”
“A what?”
“That strip of cloth that hangs down fore and aft. It covers her shoulders. That’s why they call it a scapular.”
Fred was impressed. “God, Al, I had no idea you knew so much about nuns. I didn’t know anybody knew that much.” Fred mulled over his newfound respect for the religious insight of his companion. “Okay, so she’s a nun. But what makes you think she’s a hooker? I mean, I got a problem with that. A nun a hastler? Sheesh! That almost makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe you’re wrong, Al.” Fred sounded as if he were praying that his otherwise knowledgeable friend was mistaken.
“Maybe, but I don’t think so. When was the last time you saw a nun who looked like that?”
“Geez, I don’t know. The last time I can remember seeing nuns, all they had was faces and hands. Everything else was covered up.”
“Okay, well, take my word for it: Nuns-even today’s nuns-don’t look like that. Doing her nails in public? Come on! And look at the makeup: That’s practically professional!”
“Yeah!” As Fred studied the woman in earnest, he began to appreciate her less as a possible nun and more as a desirable object.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Al continued, “nuns today may dress like everybody else or with a hint of a uniform like that one, but they’re usually kind of … well … plain. Maybe a little makeup, but nothing like that.”
“Nuns don’t necessarily prefer Hanes, huh?” Fred smiled. He enjoyed women more than just about everything else in life. He felt a growing excitement in the possibility that this fantastic-looking female might be a nun and a hooker as well.
“So, Fred, I may be wrong, but I think she’s here to turn a trick. You and I, we travel the country often enough as sales reps to know what a hooker looks like, how she acts.”
Fred was grinning. “Hey, Al, whaddya say we hit on her? I mean, if she’s really selling, I’d be glad to do a little buying. Whaddya say?”
Al shook his head. “Frankly, Fred, I don’t think we could afford her.”
She held up her hand, examined the tips of the spread fingers approvingly, tucked the emery board into her purse, and checked her watch.
She tapped her fingers against her knee. Time was not a significant consideration. Her basic charge was computed by the hour, and she had no other business on her schedule tonight. Nevertheless, waiting, killing time, made her fidgety.
As she glanced around the lobby she spotted the two men obviously studying her. They were seated far across the room, but there was no mistaking their interest.
She was used to this sort of reaction. She was a strikingly beautiful woman and she knew it.
But there was something out of the ordinary about those two across the room. At least about one of them. One was looking at her with that familiar lust to which she had grown accustomed. But the other one wore an expression that could best be described as disgust. Now why would-then she remembered: She was wearing the habit.
She almost smiled. Instead, she carefully curled a lip.
It worked. In a few seconds the two men exchanged a few words and then left the lobby. She had it all to herself. Just right.
One of the problems with being unoccupied, as she was now, was that it gave one time to think. She didn’t want time on her hands. She didn’t want to think.
That guy-the one who had been regarding her with such distaste-he reminded her of someone. Who?
Her memory searched the distant past. Way back to the days when she’d been a student at Sacred Heart school in Dearborn. Yes, that was it: Monsignor Hardy. He’d always reminded her of someone who had just smelled something repugnant.
More than once, no, frequently, she had been marched into Monsignor Hardy’s office in the rectory. Little Helen Donovan had been bad, had broken some rule, had violated some rule not yet legislated, had given scandal. Little Helen Donovan needed to be lectured, and then, after what passed for a fair trial in the parochial school of old, punished.
But that was it: old Monsignor Hardy used to look at her just the way that stranger had tonight.
It didn’t matter. She was not going to continue this line of work forever. For one thing, it was far too dangerous. You never knew what sort of client you were going to entertain. Often enough it was just an insecure guy after som
e variety or a thrill that he thought only a pro could deliver.
But there were the other times when the john was a certifiable sicko. She shuddered. Those dicey episodes were only too easy to recall and too painful to ponder voluntarily.
Then too, she had done well-very well-financially. She felt sure she was on the verge of a secure future no matter what happened. Then-when that magic moment arrived-she could quit. She wasn’t certain when it would happen. But she’d know when it did.
He was walking across the lobby in her direction. Even if he had not been headed straight for her, she would have known. Moderate height, moderate build, balding, dark hair clipped tight to the scalp. But it was his expression that identified him. It was a singular mixture of self-confidence, embarrassment, bravado, and ingenuousness. She’d seen it all too many times.
He stood before her chair, looked down at her and asked, “Are you …?” He seemed unable to complete the question; what if he were mistaken?
“… Helen? Yes, of course I’m Helen. How many women did you think you’d find in the lobby wearing a religious habit?” She was peevish, but she tried to make the putdown sound lighthearted.
“Well, good,” he said. “And I’m …” He hesitated. “… John.”
“Of course you are.”
“Well, shall we go up to my room or would you like a drink first?”
“No, no drink.” She didn’t want one at the moment and, for her own protection, she was doubly concerned that he not start drinking. Sometimes the meekest, mildest men became mean drunks.
They said nothing on the elevator. But after entering his room, she turned to him, smiled, and said, “Well, John, is there anything special you’d like?”
“What do you mean?” He came close to blushing.
“I’m not amind reader, John. We’ve got only this three hours together. I don’t want you to feel anything but perfectly satisfied. So I’ve got to know just what you have in mind. I mean, in addition to the basics.”
He fidgeted with his tie, pulling it loose from his collar.
She stepped close to him, undid the tie, and began unbuttoning his shirt. “It’s like a menu, John,” she said. “You’ve got to place your order before the meal.” She felt him quiver slightly.
“I … I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell you,” he said, “so I wrote it out.” He fumbled in a pocket, brought out a folded piece of paper, and handed it to her.
She quickly scanned the paper, then looked at him. “This sounds like it could be a lot of fun, John. But it’s going to cost three hundred dollars more.”
He stepped back abruptly. “What? Three hundred bucks! I’m just a haberdasher from Toledo. That’s heavy! Heavier, lots heavier, than I expected.”
She moved close to him again and fiddled with buttons. “John, you’re already paying two hundred dollars for the religious habit. You want a memorable evening. And you can have one. But everything costs, John. You know that. You’re a successful businessman.
“But, it’s up to you, John.”
It was clear she was not going to negotiate. If he wanted it, he would have to pay for it. He shrugged and helped her with the buttons.
Another satisfied customer. She seldom disappointed. In fact, all things considered and since everyone had different expectations and levels of enjoyment, she might well claim that she never disappointed. Not only was each success a personal satisfaction, it was good for referral business.
It was near midnight as she exited the Pontchartrain. It was snowing. Long since, the streets of downtown Detroit, as well as most of the rest of the city, had been abandoned by nearly everyone except drug dealers and users, the homeless, drifters, and muggers.
All things considered, she felt fortunate there was a cab on duty outside the hotel. As she entered the vehicle, the driver awakened. He half turned to appraise his passenger. A nun. Odd. Especially at this time of night. But cabbies quickly get used to all manner of humanity. “Where to, Sister?”
“Forty-eight hundred Grand River.”
“Forty-eight hundred … that be near 14th, 15th?”
“That’s it.”
“You got it.”
She was grateful for the warmth of the cab. The driver had kept the motor running while waiting for a fare. He had little alternative. It was December 26, a frigid December 26. That near the Detroit River, with the force of its piercing wind, without heat a person could get hypothermia in a hurry.
“Forty-eight hundred,” the driver mused aloud, “and 15th. That wouldn’t be old St. Leo’s, would it?”
“Uh-huh.” She didn’t want conversation; she hoped monosyllables would make that clear.
“Ain’t much goin’ on at old St. Leo’s anymore.” The cabbie had not gotten the message. “You know, I grew up around there.”
She made no sound.
Her lack of response did not discourage him. “Yessir,” he continued, “it wasn’t even St. Leo’s. Was a franchise or a mission or something like that. Called Guadalupe-Our Lady of Guadalupe. Only one or two white families there when I was growin’ up. Hell-’scuse me, Sister-but Guadalupe doesn’t even exist anymore. Hell, St. Leo’s hardly exists any more.
“Geez, we used to go from church-Perpetual Help services-over to the old Olympia. Hell, the Olympia is gone, too. Red Wings-Howe, Lindsay, Abel-the Production Line. Jack Adams, best damn coach in history. Jack was a good Catholic too.” He looked at her in his rearview mirror. “I’m a Catholic, ya know, Sister.”
“I would never have guessed.” Her attention then abandoned him. She became lost in thought: Was now the time to quit?
“Geez, Sister, I’ll never forget one priest we had at old Guadalupe: Famer Paddock-a good man he was-gone, now, I guess. This was a pretty quiet neighborhood most times back then, except on Saturday nights. Then all hell would break loose. I remember old Father Paddock telling me one day that he stopped one of the black guys in the parish and asked him if the neighborhood could keep the noise down on Saturday nights ’cause on Sunday he had to work and he needed some peace and quiet on Saturday nights to get ready for Sunday Mass. And this guy says to him, ‘Father, if you ever was a black man on Saturday night, you would never want to be a white man again.’”
She didn’t laugh, But then, nuns, as he remembered them, were a quiet lot.
She had thought that when it was time to quit, she’d know it. Now, suddenly, out of nowhere, she was overwhelmed by a growing certitude that this was it. It had nothing directly to do with tonight’s trick. He had been easy enough. Even, pound for pound, a gentleman. No, her concern was that she had been pushing her luck, The odds, if you will. Countless occasions of extreme danger … she had been saved by something. Something beyond her power to control. What? Prayer? She smiled. Whatever it was, she sensed that it was running pretty thin lately. The last thing she wanted was to end up on a slab in the medical examiner’s emporium.
“So, there we were, Sister,” the cabbie rattled on, “me and this friend of mine helpin’ this guy sell newspapers outside the Olympia. The deal was, after we helped this guy, he would move us inside where he told the ticket taker that we worked for him and we were gonna sell papers inside, and when they were all sold he’d see to it that we left. But”-laughter-”that wasn’t how it worked, Sister. Nah, we’d go in, leave the papers on the floor inside, and then go see the show,” He shook his head, pleased at the memory.
“This one night it was wrestling, with Primo Carnera.…” He looked at her in his rearview mirror again. “He was the former heavyweight boxing champ, y’know.
“Anyway, it was a pretty good show. A fake of course, but a good show anyway. Then, after all the matches were over, I started walkin’ home all by myself. And then, under a streetlight, I see these two guys waitin’ on either side of the sidewalk. Well, I decided to go right ahead and right between them. But when I got to them, the bigger guy-he was lots bigger’n me and black to boot-anyway, he steps up and says, ‘What’s your name, boy?’
<
br /> “So I says,’Teddy.’
“And he says, ‘Well my name is Joe Louis.’ And with that, he takes a swing at me-a roundhouse right.
“Well, I knew darn well he wasn’t Joe Louis-but I knew what he was gonna do next. So I ducked and got the hell out of there so fast they couldn’t have caught me, even if they’d been firing bullets. Man, I really moved.”
Still no sound from the nun. Well, maybe she’d fallen asleep. Hell, it was late enough. Matter of fact, after this fare, he was gonna go home and get some sleep himself.
It’s simply too late, she thought; I’m too tired to make a hard and fast decision about quitting right now.
But tomorrow, she’d give the idea a serious analysis. Yeah, that was it: Something as crucial as this demanded the light of day before any firm decisions were reached.
“Well, here we are, Sister.”
For the first time since their brief journey began, she was conscious the cab was not moving. “Oh?” She glanced out the window and recognized the familiar old, dirty gray buildings that had at one time, many decades earlier, constituted one of Detroit’s prestigious parishes. She rummaged through her purse. “Listen,” she told the cabbie, “wait for me here. I won’t be long.”
“Wait?! Are you kidding?”
“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to wait for me!” Testiness crept into her voice.
“Look, Sister, I don’t mind drivin’ you to this neighborhood, but I ain’t about to sit here like a duck waitin’ for somebody to step out of the shadows and off me.”
“What are you anyway, a lily-livered coward? Nobody’s gonna hurt you, little man.”
“No need to get on your high horse, Sister. I’m not arguing with you. I’m just tellin’ you I ain’t gonna wait for you, that’s all.”
She was furious, but said no more. She found her cash and peeled off just enough for the fare plus an infinitesimal tip.
He quickly tabulated the excess as she exited the cab. “Thanks a bunch, big spender,” he called out as he peeled away from the curb.
Chameleon fk-13 Page 1