by Stec, Susan
In the very center of the sphere, a circular mouth opened, clicking needle sharp teeth. The doppelganger's voice vibrated the shield with its volume. "Would you like that?" Red eyes sparked over the mouth. It yelled again, "Well, will you? Answer me!"
"You done?" I asked. "Nice show, very entertaining, but if you're looking for a way out, there isn't one, ass-wipe."
"Susan," Dorius warned. "To what end will you taunt him? He's right; in minutes, the sun rises, and we will be—"
"Actually, Uncle Dorius, that is exactly what I have been waiting for." Lily walked in through the only door in the back of the room, accompanied by two Gracie Jeans, Nan, a herd of ghosts, and enough smoke to make anyone who passed by believe the place was still on fire.
Thank God it hadn't been.
"Aunty Susan, can you move your shield?"
"Uh, I don't think so. It breaks when I touch it."
The doppelganger inside the shield snickered. "Try. Then all of you will witness a real fight." It turned to the massive smoke cloud separating into six individual forms.
"I can move it without breaking it," Mom said.
"Oh, yay!" Lily said. "Move it outside through the broken window, please. And don't worry about mortals gathering. I have been all over the area; it is the safest place. It was I who entered the drain in the other room."
I felt a slight fear in the back of my mind vanish.
Mom had both palms up, and was casting a ray of gold that encircled the sphere around the doppelganger. As she moved her hands, the bubble followed.
"Now what?" I asked Lily. "The sun's coming up and we're about to display a doppelganger in broad daylight."
"Exactly!" Lily clapped her hands. "Please don't worry about mortals, Aunty. I cast a repel spell and no one will enter the area for three blocks in any direction."
Dorius was still standing by Karl. "Very shrewd, Lily. And you brought the elders to help."
"I did," she said.
Christopher stood next to his mate, beaming.
We all ran out the front door and gathered in the street as the bubble floated through the broken window. There were so many of us, it reminded me of our trip to Vegas.
The bubble settled inches from the sewer drain.
"The elders should take shelter Down Under through that sewer drain." Lily pointed at the corner of the street where the drain was. "The sun will rise in thirteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds. We wouldn't want any casualties, would we?"
As usual, I wanted to thwap the kid.
"You're a big tease, youngin'," Betty said from a lamp post directly over Lily's head. "Spit it out. What's gonna happen after we go sewer divin'? Don't tempt me. I feel a shit coming on."
"I wouldn't do that, Elizabeth," Lily said. "I do believe we've established my superiority to you. It would be foolery to attempt such a retort with an assurance your penitence would be very unpleasant."
"The sun will take care of our doppelganger," Dorius said, and ended the issue. "It will be ashes in a matter of seconds after it rises."
The doppelganger in the shield didn't look worried. In fact, it had been smiling at me the whole trip out into the street, and its ghoulish mouth was still turned up with a smile. "I have been in this situation before. I assure you. I will survive."
"I am sure that is true," Lily said. "However, not this time. I am aware doppelganger ashes can lay dormant all day and rise at sundown. But I intend to scoop you up and place you into this airtight box; a doppelganger coffin, actually."
The doppelganger did not even blink. "We will see."
Lily held out what looked like a large glass bullet. It had a red rubber seam around the length. Still, the doppelganger did not react.
Nan moved forward. "My friends and I better go into the sewer, too. Not like we can't haunt in daylight, but I don't feel you need us anymore."
While we all hugged and said our thank yous, promising to keep in touch, the sky above became more visible.
I looked around for Luna or Gaire. I didn't see either of them. Nan shook her head at me, and that's when I remembered the two were rogues and on the run from the elders. I just smiled.
"I'm not leaving until that thing is in the coffin you have, demon," Karl said.
Dorius nodded as Paul lifted the sewer grate for the elders, although he didn't really need to. They wafted down below to wait for Lily to bring them the little coffin.
"I will let you know when to take the shield down, Aunty Susan."
I nodded at Lily, Dorius, and Marcus over my shoulder.
"Where's Antoinette?"
"Back here, under the furniture awning with Karl and his men," Antoinette said.
While we were waiting for the big event, and I was watching Betty take flight in the direction of our house, Zaire, Resi and Sonny came running up behind us from the side street.
"Raphael just snagged Aunt JoAnn from the house!" Zaire yelled as she skidded to a stop at the corner of the building.
"And he's really pissed," Resi said.
"How do you know this?" Dorius demanded.
"We saw him pull JoAnn through the wormhole in the living room ceiling," Zaire said. "Coffin and all. JoAnn was inside. She kept screaming, 'I didn't think my summon would work'."
"You should really fix that wormhole, Mom," Resi said. "Especially since Aunt Jo seems to have learned something during her last visit to Hell."
"Why take JoAnn?" Christopher asked. "He wanted Antoinette."
Jake and Gibbie walked out into the street.
"We did the best we could in there," Gibbie said.
"It looks like someone broke in, tried to burn the building down, and then looted the place," Jake added.
Wings beating overtime, Gibbie whizzed around us. "You should've seen—"
"Raphael took my sister," I told Gibbie.
Gibbie stopped short. I felt dizzy after trying to keep up with him.
Sonny said, "We'd just come up from the barn—quite a load of critters to burn—and Jeni and JoAnn were both screaming."
"Is Jeni alright?" Paul became rigid.
"Oh, my God!" My hand flew to my chest like I'd seen Mom's do hundreds of times "I haven't heard her since I dropped the shield."
In a flash, I was standing in front of Sonny, Marcus at my back.
Paul grabbed my hand.
The three werewolves stepped up beside us; deep throaty growls emanated from them.
"Chill, everyone," Resi said. "Jeni's okay."
I almost puked.
Paul was shaking.
I let his hand go.
The three shifters were still rumbling.
"Okay, doggies," Zaire said, "Settle down. Crap, you guys are always on a testosterone high."
The men glared at her.
Zaire showed them her palms. "Jeni locked herself in a safe room at the house. You don't need balls to think fast."
Zaire ignored their rumbling chests and turned to me. "The safety ward you put on the door worked—glows like a bastard, burns like a bitch." Zaire glanced at her fingers. "Evidently the demon tried to get in, gave up and took JoAnn instead."
"When we left the house," Resi said, "Jeni was heading for a shower. She told us you guys had everything under control here. And after the big brouhaha there, she just wanted to get some sleep."
"What big brouhaha?" Mom wanted to know. "Did Raphael break anything? Because if he made a mess in our house, I'll kick his ass to Pluto."
Zaire chuckled. "I love this family."
"The house is fine, Nanna." Resi slid her arms around Zaire.
The sky trembled with thunder, a black swirling circle expanded over us, and lightning flashed.
We heard Raphael's laughter.
My bubble floated upward. I tried to grab it, and stood face to face with the doppelganger when it broke.
Dorius could hardly control Karl. It took Marcus, Razzo, and Randy's help to keep the pack leader from getting close.
I pulled from the lay line under my feet and popped o
ut another shield, but all it caught was Gibbie and Jake and myself.
The doppelganger darted for Antoinette. Zaire leapt in front of her.
Raphael's laugher filled what was left of the early morning darkness. "Witchy-poo." The demon was talking to me. "I have had enough family for one day. I do so wish it were you coming for this visit." The funnel dropped from the sky and plummeted through the cement below Zaire and the doppelganger. A wicked backdraft knocked the rest of us backward as it sucked Zaire and the doppelganger into darkness. "My daughter has abjured her mother and me. So I take back what belongs to me. JoAnn and I will procreate another. Maybe this time it will be a son."
"Witchy-Vamp," Raphael called to me. "Because your sister will not allow it, I will not be sending Karl's nemesis back to prey on your family. However, you will never see Zaire again if you do not leave JoAnn and me alone. I will call on you when I am ready to draw up a contract and send the vampire home to her mate."
Resi ran for the hole in the pavement. I broke into a run—the shield falling around me. "No! Resi, stop!"
"Zaire!" Resi cried as the road closed around Raphael's fading laughter.
Karl howled. "The damn demon didn't commit to the doppelganger's death!" Razzo and Randy had let go of him. And Karl paced over the pavement where the black hole had been.
Paul put his arms around Resi. "We'll get her back."
I stared at Marcus.
Lily said, "I will be negotiating the contract, Aunty Susan. My first priority will be the doppelganger's death. If Father does not comply, Christopher and I will speak with Lord Rahovart, Tormentor of the Affluent and Companion of Satan. I swear to you on my life, Father will not hold the release of that creature over your heads."
"Can she do this?" Karl asked.
"Damn right we can," Christopher said. "Lily's father isn't aware of our allegiance with Satan's companion."
"Nor is he aware Satan is quite upset with the way Father handled the divorce settlement," Lily added.
Karl bowed. "Thank you, Lily." He turned to Dorius. "Can you keep me abreast of this situation?"
"Absolutely," Dorius said.
"What about your mother?" Christopher asked Lily.
"And Zaire," Resi sobbed.
"Zaire's release will be a top priority." Dorius stared at Lily, his jaw tight, eyes stern.
"She will be back tomorrow, Uncle Dorius. This I promise." The demon turned to Karl and his men. "But the doppelganger may take more time if we have to consult with Satan's companion."
Sirens sounded in the distance. The sun popped over the building.
Mom sighed. "Little girl, you better keep your promises."
"I will, Grandmother."
Karl turned to Dorius. "I want to discuss your plan of action here in the US with the infected animals. I intend to put the same plan into effect in Italy. I think we can work together to appease the council."
Dorius handed Karl three coins. "After I see to it that Antoinette is safely home in Italy with Camillo, I can meet you and your men at BAMVC Miami. We could go over this in more detail before you leave if you wish?"
"Yes," Karl said, taking the coins. "We'll meet you there."
"I'll contact Dennis right now to assure you are received well."
Karl nodded as Dorius pulled out his cell phone.
Razzo and Randy followed Karl into the storm drain.
"Marcus, Dennis is preparing rooms for the wolves. I'll stop to pick up my mate on the way," Dorius said, pocketing his cell. "I'll give you and the others forty-eight hours to contact me. We will discuss the critter control mission, and Lily's negations, at that time."
He smiled at Lily and Christopher. "Welcome to the team, Lily. You, with the help of your mate, make a valuable addition."
Bouncing a token in his right palm, he was gone.
I looked into Marcus's eyes. "This has been one hell of a week. And while I really enjoyed playing with ghosts, doppelgangers, wolves, a wendigo, and a fun night in Purgatory, I'm ready to play with you."
"I missed our bed," Marcus said.
"Chick got you guys a doublewide," Christopher said.
Jake farted a three-foot flame.
Gibbie laughed.
Lily chuckled.
"Easy dragon," Paul said. "I just put your last fire out inside the warehouse."
A smile spread across Marcus's lips. "It's good to be home."
"Another night, another fight," Mom said. "Let's go home. We have a wedding to plan."
~~~~
From the author
~~~~
I've always been weird, even as a child. Might've been influenced by all those fairies and trolls living in and around the streams behind Grandma's house. Today I live with my husband and three King Charles Spaniels on 50 acres of woods, fields, and streams in upper Michigan.
One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead.
Oscar Wilde
~~~
~~~~
Connect with me online:
https://twitter.com/Suesan0814
https://www.facebook.com/GratefulUndead
http://www.thegratefulundead.weebly.com/
http://thegratefulundead.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/stecsusan/
WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THE GRATEFUL UNDEAD:
They're So Vein is a hilarious and irreverent new twist on the paranormal/vampire romance genre ~~~Barnes and Noble Overview
A fresh take on the oft-bitten vampire milieu~~~Jeni Decker, author, I Wish I Were Engulfed in Flames
A unique take on all things paranormal. It's refreshing to see an author take on what is now a very popular genre and make it her own~~~Jeanne Bannon, author, Invisible
Susan Stec's GRATEFUL UNDEAD series is a rip-snorting satire on all things vampiric and paranormal~~~Carlyle Clark, author, The Black Song Inside
Irreverent and hilarious. It is most assuredly NOT your teenaged daughter's vampire story~~~ Linda Ulleseit, author, Flying horse books, and Under the Almond Tree.
COMMING SOON
SPRING 2016
~~~~
WITCHY
~~~~
Skylar is a good witch, a city girl full of spunk and poor relationship choices. Bek, her last guy, put her into a cat and dumped her two hundred miles from home. Well, in Bek's defense, she did torch his vintage Mustang. Still...
Revenge is on her mind—definitely not a man—and along comes Luke, rugged, all muscles, tanned skin, with a bowl of warm milk, and totally country.
~~~~
EXCERPT
Chapter one
Damn Bek to hell! If he gets within clawing distance, I'll make him remember me every time he looks in a mirror—which is way too often. I should've known better than to start a relationship with a guy I had to fight for the blow dryer.
I slink out from under a shiny new Suburban and check out my reflection on the automobile's side door. Lowering to my haunches and curling my tail around my rump, I turn my maw to the side; what a regal pose and exquisite feline profile.
I have never been exquisite, and the bitch inside this furball body is anything but regal. Shit, I need a cigarette.
Who in the name of Hades wants to be encumbered by a form that tantalizes curiosity, yet impedes the ability to use my powers and magic? Bek is going to hear my trills and hisses of rage the minute I get close enough to his tight, sexy ass.
I watch the fur on my stomach rise and fall with a sigh.
So I have a wicked temper. So I throw things when I get pissed. He didn't have to go all sorcerer on me, turn me into a black cat, and then dump me two-hundred miles from my home to make a point.
Yeah, I know, I went on and on and on and on. Why? Because the sex was to die for. I still want him. I really do. But I also need to spread my wings, soar like an eagle. Being in a cage is a nightmare; caging me is a death sentence. Put me in a cage and I'm suicidal. And Bek wants to cage me. I need freedom! Well, he gave it to me, all right. I'm a cat
on the streets in a podunk town somewhere in BFE.
I stealthily crawl under one side of a rusty Ford pickup and exit on the other. A few feet away a bird pecks at a dried French fry. I suppose if I really were a cat, stalking, giving chase would invigorate me. I plop down and stretch out.
I need a cigarette.
Languishing on the sun-warm pavement in between a pristine Jeep Wrangler and the beat up Ford, I try to keep my tension level down. What a damn mess this is. Thoughts of lust and vengeance are hypnotically crippling. I slap my tail against concrete with an overwhelming desire to bite something.
I hear her coming; smell her long before she approaches.
"Well, aren't you a beauty." The stout brunette towers over me and blocks my patch of sun.
One eye slightly open, I watch her bend at the waist. Walmart bags hanging from her wrists threaten to boldly joggle my senses. I don't move. I don't have to. I'm a damn cat. If I were a Raven, I'd have cawed in annoyance and taken flight long before she arrived. Instead, I indignantly ignore her presence.
The woman gives the fur behind my ear a scratch. I can't resist leaning into her Lee Press-On nails.
"A Walmart parking lot is not a good place for a precious little kitty to be stranded."
I barely register the prattler, and only my predicament makes me begrudgingly tolerant of the length of time she's taking to move out of the frigging sun. Not being in a playful mood, I choose not to loosen her bowels by verbally telling her to get lost before I turn her into a toad. I can't do the toad thing at the moment, anyway.
Sizing up the chick, I decadently wallow in my state of depression. She's dressed in Wranglers, a sleeveless, bright yellow tit hugger, and well-worn cowboy boots. Yee-ha!
Okay, so now I am a sarcastic bitch. I want my human body back and the full capacity to use the witchy skills I was born with so I can turn Bek into a toad—the bastard. Maybe this is finally a woman who will help. If I could strum my fingers on the asphalt, I would. Claws don't work that way.