Because both the cars you drive are pieces of shit. I was worried you’d break down again and who knows if anyone would have stopped. Or the wrong person stopped.
I turned my head so I was looking out the windshield. He had to be lying, he just had to.
Right?
“Why did you ignore me for the last two weeks?”
I waited for my phone to beep, but it didn’t. I turned my head to look at him and saw that he, too, was staring out the windshield.
“Dallas,” I said softly. He flinched and then began typing.
At first, I was hoping you’d quit because the work was too difficult. Being around you is hard, Nolan. And not just because of what happened tonight. I never saw you as weak when we were kids. Never. I wish I could have been as brave as you. I wish I’d done things differently.
I waited for another message, but Dallas stopped typing. It didn’t really matter, because he’d said enough and I believed what he was telling me.
“Where do we go from here?” I asked, because I really didn’t have a clue.
Come back to work, Nolan.
It was all he typed, but I knew it really was the only thing I could do. He clearly wasn’t interested in pursuing anything beyond a working relationship. He’d made that clear when he’d pointed out that what had happened tonight had been a mistake. And while I didn’t exactly share his feelings on the subject, I knew it was something that wouldn’t have led anywhere, anyway. At best, it could have been a friends-with-benefits kind of thing, even though we weren’t really friends, either.
I hid my disappointment and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dallas.”
With that, I got out of the truck and didn’t look back as I walked toward the house. We were back to exactly where we should be.
So why did I still feel like shit?
I spent a good five minutes the following morning taking stock of the light bruises on my body, including the huge hickey on my neck and the finger-shaped marks on my hips. If I hadn’t seen the proof of Dallas’s possession on my body, I would have passed the whole thing off as a dream.
Despite the fact that I could still feel the stinging in my ass that Dallas’s generously sized cock had left behind, I still couldn’t believe he played for my team. Not once in high school had I seen anything that even hinted that Dallas was attracted to men, and nothing in these past two weeks would have led me to believe it had ever been anything but women for him. I supposed it was possible he was bisexual, but it still blew my mind.
Not that I could really blame him for hiding something like that, especially when we’d been younger. Pelican Bay was, and always had been, a community steeped in its religious and family values. Since I’d been such an outcast at school, there’d been no one to officially come out to at the age of sixteen when I’d figured out I was gay. I’d been called “faggot” and “queer” often enough to figure people had come to the conclusion on their own, though I suspected they would have called me those things even if I hadn’t actually been gay.
For someone like Dallas Kent, admitting to liking guys would have been equal to committing social suicide. For all I knew, it could have impacted his ability to play professional baseball. So I couldn’t really begrudge him for wanting to keep the truth from people.
It did leave me wondering if he might still be hiding it, though, since he hadn’t mentioned anything when I’d inadvertently outed myself the night I’d had dinner at his place.
I decided it was all irrelevant since last night had been a one-time thing. Even if Dallas hadn’t been the one to say it, I should have. Pelican Bay was a layover for me, so even if by some miracle a guy like Dallas could be interested in a guy like me outside of the bedroom, I had absolutely no desire to stay in town any longer than I absolutely had to.
Not even for Dallas Kent.
I practically saw my lips move in my reflection as I called myself a liar.
Okay, so I didn’t want to be in a position where I even had to think about a choice like that. My plan was to get my parents back on their feet financially, and then I was going to find a nice big city to start over in. My career as a professional violinist was over, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t still use music to pay the bills.
I forced myself to push thoughts of Dallas and the night before aside and quickly got dressed. I rushed past the kitchen, not even bothering with coffee since Dallas had a small coffee pot in his office. But just as I reached the door, I heard my mother’s voice.
“Nolan, is that you?”
“Yeah,” I called. “I’m late for work.”
“Just a minute, dear,” she said, and I knew that meant I had to go to her instead of waiting for her to come to me. I hurried to the kitchen and found my mother preparing breakfast.
My mother had finally accepted the fact that I had an actual real job about a week ago and had eventually stopped insisting I be at home at certain times to watch my father, but she’d yet to figure out that said job was the only thing keeping the lights on and the bill collectors at bay.
“Sit,” she said as she pointed to one of the kitchen chairs.
“I can’t, I’m late,” I said as I motioned to the front door.
She pinned me with her gaze and nodded toward the chair. I sat and tapped my fingers on the table. Maybe I should let Dallas know I was running late so he wouldn’t think I’d changed my mind about coming back.
“What was that Kent boy’s truck doing outside the house last night?”
I hated the clench in my belly as her automatic disapproval washed over me.
“He came to talk me,” I hedged. After he fucked me so good and so hard I think he might have ruined me for other men.
“Why are you smiling, Nolan? I don’t see anything amusing about the situation.”
I hadn’t even realized I was smiling. Since I couldn’t very well tell her that getting monumentally fucked in the back of a car by your high school fantasy come to life was bound to put a smile on anyone’s face, I settled for, “What situation? We were just talking.”
“That boy doesn’t talk,” she reminded me impatiently. “What were you doing with him?”
“Talking about work stuff. Which I’m going to be late for, by the way.”
“Work?” she whispered, her face pulling into a horrified expression. She actually looked out the window like she was expecting to see Dallas’s truck sitting on the street, or worse, in the driveway. “You work for him?”
“Dallas, Mom. His name is Dallas. And yes, I work for him.”
“You can’t!” she said. “Your father and I will be laughingstocks!”
I couldn’t stop the chuckle that came out of my mouth. “Are you kidding me?”
“Don’t you laugh at me, young man,” she snapped. “It’s already bad enough that I have to live down the fact that my boy is a thief and a…” Her voice dropped off.
“And a fag?” I asked quietly.
For once, she actually looked embarrassed. “We don’t say that word in this house.”
“But you’re allowed to think it, right? I guess deviant is the socially acceptable word, right?”
“That boy brought shame to this entire community when he killed his parents and started that…that zoo! Are you and he…are you…fornicating?” She whispered the last word as if someone was close enough to hear.
I climbed to my feet. “It’s a wildlife center and sanctuary, Mom. It takes in animals that people fucked over and it tries to give them a better life.”
“Nolan, langu-”
“And yeah, I’m a fag. I like dick. We established that when I was sixteen years old and you told me never to mention it again or I wouldn’t have a family anymore. And as for that damn violin, I’m done telling you something that you should have believed without question because I’m your son.”
I snatched my coat off the table. “Watch what you say about Dallas Kent. He’s the only reason you still have a roof over your head,” I bit out.
I was seething with a mix of rage and nerves when I arrived at the center. I met Dallas as I was rounding the corner of the office building. His arms came up to catch me before I slammed into him and his face pulled into a frown.
“Dallas, fuck, I’m sorry, but my mom, she…”
The words got caught in my throat. Dallas gently rubbed my arms up and down, then tipped my head up so I was looking at him.
“She saw your truck last night. She knows I’m gay so she assumed you were there to…you know.”
There was the tiniest stiffening of his jaw as he took in my words and he dropped his hands.
But just to get his phone and type a message.
It doesn’t matter.
“Yes, it does,” I said. “She’s a terrible gossip. It’ll get all over town. I’m sorr-”
His hand came up to cover my mouth. He shook his head and then typed again.
The town hates me anyway. Just another crime to add to an already long list.
Before I could respond, he began typing another message and I remembered that we were only boss and employee. It wasn’t my place to question him about stuff.
I did your morning chores already.
“Dall-”
He slapped his hand over my mouth and gave me the evil eye. Then he held up one finger, indicating I should wait.
I’m releasing the mom and baby raccoons back into the wild this morning and thought you might want to come. It will take a couple of hours, so I got up early to do your chores and mine.
I opened my mouth to answer him, but he held up his finger again and then sent me a small smirk at my look of exasperation.
And if you even think of insisting I not pay you for the time, I’ll fire you, drive to your house, introduce myself to your mother, and tell her I’m there to pick you up for our three-way with Tom Hiddleston.
His eyes danced with humor after I finished reading his text, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, you win. But if we ever do find ourselves face to face with Tom Hiddleston, I get to tap his ass first.”
His eyes narrowed and he typed out, You’re fired.
“Fine, you can tap his ass first.”
I expected him to continue the joke, but his eyes pinned mine and then his gaze slid down my body. And just like that, the humor died and the air around us became charged with electricity. I was leaning into him before I even realized what I was doing. Thankfully, Dallas had the common sense to step back.
We should go.
I nodded because my throat felt like I’d swallowed a beach ball.
I followed Dallas to the small animal building and watched him collect a very angry mother raccoon and her babies, who’d grown considerably in the past two weeks. It took just over an hour to get to our destination – a small nature reserve in the middle of nowhere.
Dallas set the cage on the ground in a heavily wooded section of the park. There was a large stream nearby that hadn’t frozen over yet. He stepped behind the cage and lifted the door, then took my hand in his and pulled me back several steps. A full minute passed before the mother raccoon and her babies emerged and then took off up a tree.
“Won’t they get too cold out here?” I asked as I huddled into my coat.
Dallas shook his head and motioned to a couple of large rocks near the water’s edge. I followed him and sat down. He was slower to sit down and I had to wonder if his leg was bothering him more today, since his limp had seemed a bit more pronounced. I patiently waited for him to type his response.
This stream has a strong enough current that it never completely freezes over in the winter. I’ve released several different kinds of animals up here, including raccoons. The mother will spend the next month or two gathering food. The babies will probably stay with her through the winter. They don’t hibernate, but they spend the cold snaps mostly in their dens.
Dallas leaned into me and pointed upstream. I smiled at the sight of the mother raccoon and her babies exploring the stream. The sun was bright over our heads and helped take some of the chill away.
“How did you get into this?” I asked. “Did you always like animals?”
He nodded.
We weren’t allowed to have them growing up. About eight years ago I found an orphaned deer alongside the road. I tried to find a place that could help her, but there was nothing around and none of the vets I called would take her. So I tried taking care of her myself.
“Did she make it?” I asked.
Another nod. But I made the mistake of treating her like a pet, so when I tried to release her back into the wild, she didn’t know how to take care of herself. When I came back to where I’d left her, she came running right up to me. She’d lost a lot of weight in that short time and I knew she wouldn’t make it, so I took her home with me. She was the first permanent resident of the center.
“Is that when you opened it?”
Yes. I used some of the money my parents left me and bought the farm outside of town and converted it into what it is now.
I remembered my mother’s story about how his brother had tried to keep him from getting any of the money, but I didn’t bring that up.
“By yourself?”
He stiffened a little, then nodded. He didn’t type anything, so I took that as a silent message that it wasn’t a topic he wanted to discuss.
I bumped his shoulder with mine. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
Despite the cold weather and my numb ass, I found that I didn’t want to leave the quiet solitude around us.
Until Dallas typed out his next message.
Tell me about the stolen violin, Nolan.
Chapter Eight
Dallas
I didn’t think he would answer and he certainly didn’t owe me one.
Especially considering the lengths I’d gone to the previous night to point out I was his boss and that what had happened between us had been a mistake.
A mistake I would have killed to repeat.
God, fucking Nolan Grainger had been pure heaven. And I was hopelessly addicted. But it wasn’t just his body that I wanted to lose myself in.
And that was what was scaring the hell out of me.
“Um, did you know I went to Juilliard after graduation?” he asked.
I nodded. You have an amazing talent.
He looked up at me in surprise. “What?”
I shrugged. I’m no expert, but whenever you played…I couldn’t take my eyes off you.
“What?” he practically squeaked.
I smiled and gave him a gentle bump. You were saying about Juilliard, I reminded him.
“Right. So, um, after Juilliard, I got hired to play in a couple of big name orchestras – in New York first, then Boston. But San Francisco was the crème de la crème. They hired me as First Chair three years ago.”
I didn’t know what First Chair meant, but I assumed it was a big deal.
“Within a matter of weeks, I was meeting really important people in the music world. Other musicians, composers, benefactors…it was really overwhelming, but it was also what I’d always dreamed of, you know? They didn’t see me as ‘Nerdy Nolan’ or ‘Grungy Grainger.’ They saw me as someone who belonged among them.”
You fit.
Nolan’s eyes hung on my screen for a moment before he looked at me and nodded. “Exactly,” he murmured. “Anyway, I met this man named Trey. He was a well-known patron of the arts – he donated tons of money to the symphony every year. He even funded a couple of scholarships for kids to go to schools like Juilliard. For whatever reason, he took a liking to me…beyond just musically speaking.”
I was pretty sure I knew why the man had taken a liking to Nolan. He was gorgeous and he practically vibrated with goodness. I’d met plenty of Treys in my own climb to professional stardom, mostly in the form of sports agents who’d wanted a piece of me. I’d been offered all sorts of perks to sign with them and take a shot directly at the majors without the benefit of college, but my parents had been adamant that
their kid wasn’t bypassing the prestige of a degree with the Vanderbilt name on the top of it.
Nolan would have been a lamb among wolves in that kind of world.
“Trey began following my career really closely. It took me a long time to realize he was interested in me for reasons other than music. When I did figure it out, I was flattered. But I hadn’t ever…you know,” he said with a tilt of his head. “I mean, I almost did with this guy at Juilliard, but…”
Nolan laughed and shook his head. “Trey saw me coming from a mile away,” he murmured. “It started when he bought me a violin. Have you ever heard of a Stradivarius?”
They’re very expensive.
“Yes, they are. The one Trey bought was worth over a million dollars. But it wasn’t a gift or anything – it was for me to play with, but it belonged to him. I think he liked the prestige of knowing a professional musician was using an instrument he’d provided. I tried to tell him no, but the second I played it, it was like…it was like an extension of my arm. I fell in love with it.” He shook his head. “And that was when he had me.”
Jealousy curled through my system.
You began a relationship with him? I asked.
Nolan nodded. “It happened so fast. Within a month I was moving into an apartment he was paying for. By the end of the year he was managing my money. You want to know what the kicker was?” he asked, his voice sad.
I nodded.
“He wasn’t even out. And he had no intention of coming out.” Nolan’s eyes drifted back to the raccoons. “No one in the industry would have cared, but he kept saying his job depended on him giving off a certain impression. He was some kind of investment banker or something. It was something we fought about a lot, but he was insistent. He even had a girlfriend.”
Nolan laughed, but it sounded harsh and ugly. “I actually believed him when he said the relationship with her was all for show.”
He fell silent for a moment. “You know what he used to make me do?”
I knew he wasn’t expecting an answer, so I didn’t respond, other than to cover his hand with mine where it was clenched on his thigh. He hadn’t remembered to put his gloves on, and I’d taken mine off when I’d opened the cage for the raccoons, so our skin came into direct contact.
Locked in Silence_Pelican Bay [Book 1] Page 11