by Dem Had
“Orestis,” I breathed, looking at his ass twitching, hot pink and inviting. “Should we go bareback?”
He frowned, propping himself up on his elbows. “We are both clean, right?” We were both tested after we started seeing each other, but we never discussed the possibility of not using a condom. I wanted to feel his insides directly on me, one step closer to ultimate intimacy.
“Yes,” I assured.
“Then go on and fuck me.” He moved his legs onto my shoulders. “Don’t prolong my agitation.”
His words boiled my blood. I kneeled forward, and his glutes rested on my thighs. I rubbed on him, covering my cock with oil, and nudged at him. Soon the tip slid in and I stilled as his expression portrayed his fight against the feeling of awkwardness, waiting for more pleasure to hit. And it did. When I pushed farther, his skin around me pulled inward, and I retracted before thrusting in to the hilt. His abdomen clenched as he exhaled with force.
“Fuck,” I exclaimed. His skin hugged around my rod as I thrust. His knees touched his shoulders and he fixated on our groins. He reached for his cock, but I slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch.”
“What the hell?” He panted in ecstasy. “Inside me….” He gasped. “What are you doing to me?”
“Why is your ass so perfect?” I breathed. “How can you be so…?”
His eyes widened. “Ahh! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t….”
His insides clenched around me, and I knew I was close, but before I could comprehend the situation, his skin folded down on his erection and the slit of his glans opened, ejaculating all over his chest, followed by my own eruption. His moans trembled and the bedsheet creased in his fists. I slid on his oil-covered body, sucked on his lips, and rested my head on his shoulder, spreading kisses across his neck.
Once he caught his breath, he turned to face me. “Was that… a prostate orgasm?” His face was full of confusion and excitement and laughter all together.
“That’s what it looked like,” I whispered, running my fingers on his ear. “Liked it?”
“Liked it?” he scoffed. “I could get addicted.”
“Good.” I laughed. “I’ll be your drug.”
He laughed and looked into my eyes. “Do you remember the first time we kissed?”
“Hmm, yeah.”
“This song was playing.”
As I thought back, it was possible our first kiss was during this song. “Tainted Love” by Kwan. The unspoken words of our situation were echoing from the speaker. We kissed, a reminder to each other that we didn’t give a shit about societal boundaries. We were not the first and wouldn’t be the last to be in a “forbidden” relationship. I knew times had changed. We wouldn’t be targeted or something, but we were conditioned to feel guilty.
I leaned back and came out of him, waiting for my cum to flow. He moved to stand up.
“Toilet,” he whispered, before I could protest. His inner thighs were soaked with my semen as he walked out the door. I fell back on the bed, my face burning.
WE SPENT the whole day in the four square meters of the bed, doing everything that came to mind, experimenting, exploring each other, going beyond skin and carnal pleasure.
That evening, I caught him staring at me, sitting on the bed with a pizza box between us.
“What?” I asked, puzzled.
He shook his head with a smile. “I’m happy I’ve met you. Everything is… so new to me and I like it.”
“I know. I never had anything close to what we have.”
“I want this. I want to work on this and make it grow,” he said, biting on a pizza slice.
I bit my lip and stared at him, smiling. As if all the words were said, he attacked me with kisses, and we didn’t speak for the rest of the night. Instead, our bodies spoke for us. We ended up in the bathtub, washing each other, and he fell asleep against my chest.
The next morning, I woke up alone. The gray sky triggered the numbness of melancholy and nostalgia as the smell of sperm, food, and lube lingered. I got up, walked to the window, and looked down at the vast grayish blue of the sea, assaulted by rain. My heart was so light, flying in my chest.
My phone buzzed a message. Whatever you’re doing, don’t stop.
I smiled at the screen. I never thought I had the capacity for so many emotions. Then Orestis had appeared, and spring entered my life. The sun came and thawed my cold heart.
Good morning. Why would I? I answered.
I was drinking my coffee by the window when I received another message. I’ll be late tonight. My mom wants to see me.
I’ll be at the shop until late too.
I put out my cigarette and my phone buzzed again. Shit I already miss you.
My gaze turned to the mirror, and I spotted a face I didn’t recognize. I was freaking glowing.
Orestis
“YOU SAID he wouldn’t be here,” I hissed at my mom when George’s car rumbled into the driveway.
“That’s what I thought.” She shrugged.
“I’m off.”
“Oh, come on. He is your dad. Why don’t you try?”
“Try what, Mum? Become a fireman, fuck one girl after the other, and wave a Greek flag for his sake? Maybe I should wear a big cross with Jesus nailed on it and give hate speeches about how homosexuality is the devil’s work while burning a pride flag. I’m—”
The door opened. George came in, and dark clouds flickered behind his eyes.
“What is he doing here?” he asked.
“He came to visit. It’s his birth—”
“I didn’t come to see you,” I interrupted her. “She asked me to come, so I did. She said you wouldn’t be here until past eight.”
He walked past me.
“I’m leaving.”
“What is his name?” He sat on the couch and kicked off his shoes.
“What?” I muttered.
“Your… boyfriend. Where is he from?” His face twisted.
“Why would you…?”
“Michalis saw you.” The calmness in his voice hinted a storm was brewing. “He saw you in a car with Turkish license plates.” His teeth gritted.
“And?” I responded, knowing what was to follow.
“Won’t you deny it?” he shouted, standing up. “Are you whoring yourself to a Turk?”
“Whoring? Since when is being in a car considered whoring?” I shot back.
“Then what is it?” he screamed. His face turned red as he kicked the coffee table and sent it into the wall. “What is it, Orestis?” He stomped toward me. I stood taller, stiffening.
“That was my boyfriend. He is from Kyrenia.” I swallowed hard.
“Have you no shame, faggot?” The volume of his voice rose with every phrase. “With a Turk?” He pushed my chest, shoving me into the door.
Mom muttered something. I was overwhelmed by the intensity of his murderous aura. I thought my knees would fail me.
“You always do what I hate, huh?” He slapped my cheek with the back of his palm and my glasses fell on the floor. His eyes brimmed with hate and crushed my spirit. “Why do you always contradict me? Attention whore.” He clenched his fingers, and I raised my hands in defense, but he punched my nose.
My sight blurred as a stinging pain spread over my face and I slid to the ground, covering my nose. My palm became wet. Blood dripped out of my nostrils, and all I could think was, I’ll die if I don’t leave.
“Stand up!” He pulled on my arm and threw me across the room.
My head banged on the wall, and I covered it, unable to stand up.
“I’ll kill you, ungrateful piece of shit.” His voice trembled. Lunatic. He kicked me in the stomach and leg before Mom pulled on him.
“Enough, you’re going to kill him,” she screamed in her high-pitched voice, crying in panic. She grabbed him, and he threw out his arm, hitting her when he tried to shove her away. He had never hit her before. She gasped, holding her chest, and he lost it for a second. I stared at the idiot woman who al
ways pretended to care but had never stood up for me before. She had accepted her husband’s violence but refused to accept her son’s sexuality. What is she doing? Did she really try to protect me right now?
George spat on the floor between my legs. “Get out of my house. I don’t know you.”
I picked up my glasses and managed to stand. I got out as quickly as I could, stepped into my car, and wiped the blood from my nose. The bleeding wouldn’t stop. I stuffed some tissue into my nostrils and headed home.
Emir was at the shop, and even though I didn’t want him to see me in this state, I needed him. At that moment, I needed him more than anything. I washed the blood off my face and took the tissue out, letting the blood flow. For a moment I thought it was broken, but the bleeding stopped soon. The swelling was still there, though, and the wound above my eyebrow looked nasty. I picked up a bag of frozen peas and lay back on the couch, covering my face with it. My stomach hurt a bit, but it was nothing compared to the pain radiating across my face.
That self-centered fucker… he thinks everything is about him. Like I chose to like men to contradict him and I chose my partner to take revenge. As if I can control my feelings, stupid wanker. Even if I could, I wouldn’t do anything just to spite him. My father’s temper was my reality, which didn’t surprise or shock me anymore. I had learned to focus on protecting my body and disappear as soon as possible.
It was nine thirty when I got impatient and texted Emir. Are you coming?
Missed me that much? He attached a winking emoji.
I always miss you. Right now, I need you.
I’ll be there in ten.
I gave him the impression I was hot and bothered because I couldn’t tell him what happened in a text. When he came in, he snatched away the pea bag with a smile but his eyes widened.
“What the fuck?”
“Fucking George.”
“I’m gonna kill him,” he hissed.
“Easy.” I sat up and opened my arms. “Give me a hug.”
“Fuck!” He sat next to me, wrapped his arms around me, and caressed my hair. “This has to stop. Is that why they asked you to stop by?”
“He wasn’t supposed to be there. He came home early, and guess what? He knows about you.”
“What?” Emir paled.
“His friend saw me in your car and….”
“Shit,” he whispered, looking at the floor.
“Fuck it. Fuck them. I’m done with them.”
“You need a doctor,” he said, checking my face.
“Nah, I’ll be fine. It wasn’t the first time, but I’ll make sure it was the last.”
“Better be the last, or else I’ll go find him and—”
“Oh, imagine the scandal.” I chuckled.
“Don’t laugh.” He stood up and retreated into the kitchen. When he came back, he took out a box, wrapped in brown paper. “Happy Birthday.”
I tore the wrapping, wasting no time, and opened the box to find the kaleidoscope I had spotted at the shop. I had wandered around that counter every time I visited, picking up the exact same kaleidoscope and spinning it, getting lost in the whirling dream. He had noticed what I loved in that chaotic paradise. That alone made me happy.
The rest of the night consisted of cuddles, movies, and beers. I woke up to his boner poking my ass with his light snoring vibrating on my nape. I kissed his hand and got up. I checked my face in the mirror. It was bruised around my nose and eyes. No way I could see customers like this.
I took a selfie and sent it to Irene, with a caption: I think I should stay home today.
A moment later, my phone rang.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
“Well, I’m alive,” I teased.
“Was it your boyfriend?”
“What? Are you crazy?” I chuckled. “No.” As if Emir would ever beat me.
“Geez, Orestis, we are so busy these days….”
“I will come in if you need me,” I responded.
“Yeah, if we want to scare the customers away,” she murmured. “I’ll get someone to cover for you. Oh, and get well soon, next week will be crazy.”
“I’ll be fine in two or three days.”
“Gotcha.”
Alex’s name appeared on the screen as soon as I hung up.
We land at 4 in the morning on Sunday.
Are you coming? Awesome! I’ll pick you up.
Like the rainbow after the storm, the day dawned in the best way possible. I would get to spend three days at home, my best friend was coming on Christmas Eve, and I had Emir. Apart from the physical pain, I had recovered rather quickly from the shock of the day before. Emir was still sleeping, so I went back to bed, lay down, and replaced his hand around me as I fell asleep again.
Alex
ORESTIS RAN and jumped in my arms, like his life depended on me. Seeing his blissful smile in person after three months was refreshing. I had a connection with this dude, and I was happy I’d vetoed going further with him. I knew it had hurt him when I met Nicolas. He had been entertaining the scenario of us being together one day. In the end everything worked out for the best. It seemed like the guy standing behind him could give him what he craved. It might be naive of me to believe that without knowing him, but Orestis was happier than ever. He was happier than I could ever make him.
“I missed you so much,” he groaned next to my ear.
“Me too.” I tapped his back as he released me and bumped fists with Nicolas.
He introduced us to Emir and we headed to the car. Orestis drove us from Paphos Airport. Sunday was dawning, and the sky was clear of clouds, so I offered to buy everyone a cup of warm coffee and head to the beach. After spending twenty minutes by the sea, my idea proved terrible. The sun was still coming out, and cold, humid air numbed our faces.
On our way to their apartment, we stopped at a bakery for breakfast. Oh, the smell of freshly baked bread in the morning. We lay on the sofa while Nicolas kept talking nonstop about how impressed he was with the view.
I made sure to discreetly interrogate Emir. He was smart, or rather a smartass. His arrogance got on my nerves. Wait, what really matters here is that Orestis is happy. He’d needed someone by his side at that difficult time with his parents, and that person was Emir. I couldn’t be that someone, and hell, if that didn’t hurt. I’d known Orestis since the first year of middle school. I clicked with the class’s bullied introvert. Nobody bullied him once he was with me. Not to brag, but my physique and wit always inspired awe in others.
“You didn’t like him,” Orestis said when Emir went to the toilet.
“Why do you say that?”
A sly grin appeared. “Your face….”
“Dude, if you’re happy, it’s not my business to judge.”
“Your opinion matters, Alex.” He leaned back on the couch.
“My opinion is to trust your gut.” I slid and sat on the floor, where I rolled a cigarette. “What I see is a permanent puke-inducing grin on your mug,” I teased. That’s when I realized that I was jealous. I was used to monopolizing him and having him secretly worship me for years while I acted cool and feigned ignorance. In the back of my mind, I wanted him on his knees for me, being depressed without me, needing me. I had never realized it until I saw his genuine happiness.
“Oh, please, don’t puke.” He laughed.
He said they would be spending Christmas and New Year’s together before Emir would go back on the third of January. I was relieved to be told that Orestis wasn’t planning to go back to his parents, so I offered to help him find an apartment.
“Why don’t we find an apartment together?” Emir blurted, and silence covered the room as Orestis and I turned to him, staring.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed Nicolas flinching in his sleep. When did this guy fall asleep?
“Don’t you want this?” Emir locked eyes with Orestis.
“Are you serious?” Orestis asked.
“Yeah.” Emir’s voice wavered.
“I mean, this was our trial period, right?”
Orestis stared at him, his face unreadable, and then nodded. Their tentative smiles turned into ear-to-ear grins, and I thought sparks of light fired between them. Yes, there is something outstanding between them. Be happy for him. I could only imagine what happened in that room when Nicolas and I left an hour later.
We didn’t meet the next day. I had promised my mom I would stay with her for Christmas, but we met every day after that.
Dinner at the tavern was remarkable. We ordered meze to eat and ouzo to drink. We got stuffed and drunk and ended up sleeping in the car. Nobody had the strength to drive. Orestis had always been a bad drinker, and he proved it every night until New Year’s Eve. We counted backward from ten, and 2018 found the four of us drinking cheap champagne and playing Monopoly until morning. Nicolas fell asleep on the floor—that guy could sleep anytime, anywhere—and Orestis snored against Emir’s chest. The first rays of sun of the year fell on Emir as he took off Orestis’s glasses and caressed his hair before closing his eyes.
Orestis
I’D HEARD that renting an apartment these days in Limassol was next to impossible for someone on a basic salary, but I hadn’t comprehended the matter until I started searching. Run-down apartments cost more than half my salary and there was a deposit too. We didn’t give up. We looked everywhere until Alex found one for us.
He had been at the right place at the right time when he overheard a middle-aged man confiding to his acquaintance about an illegal studio he had built above his own house. He was struggling to find a tenant who would rent it without a lease. Alex approached him and arranged a meeting the same day. It was a small space but big enough to fit a small living room, a mini kitchen, and a double bed. There was a narrow balcony, ideal for two small chairs. The bathroom had no space between the shower and toilet, but it was perfect. Also, I would be able to live on my own if I wanted. But I wouldn’t. I was moving in with my man. This was going to be our home.