by Caro Carson
“Someday soon,” he added, because she looked so damned sad. “Emily, you’re not missing out on life. You’re only twenty-two.”
“What were you doing at twenty-two?”
He paused for a moment—paused and appreciated the way she was about to make her point. “I was a second lieutenant. An infantry platoon leader.”
“How big is a platoon?”
“About thirty Marines. I think I see where you’re going with this.”
She never took her eyes off the water. “Do you? When my cousin Luke was twenty-one, he inherited one-third of a ranch. My aunt and uncle owned a third and his older brother owned a third, but they didn’t want to stay on the land, so Luke ran the ranch by himself at age twenty-one. He still does. I’m twenty-two. You and Luke were living your lives when you were me. What makes everyone think I still need more schooling before I can be trusted to make my own decisions?”
She shoots; she scores.
She answered her own question. “Maybe everyone tells girls to be good and be quiet, so they don’t stop and think when they’re doing it to grown-up girls, too. And maybe it’s my own fault. Maybe the girl doesn’t notice it happening to herself, sometimes.”
“Girls break that mold all the time,” he reminded her gently. “Women become Marines. There must be women in ranching.”
“Plenty of women run barns or teach riding, that kind of thing, but there are definite roles that are acceptable for women. I intentionally say I want to be a cowboy, not a cowgirl. Cowgirls are cute. I don’t do cute very well.” She glanced at him for a bare second, her smile reappearing too briefly. “The rodeo expects cowgirls to do barrel racing and only barrel racing. There’s only one event where gender isn’t an entry requirement. It’s called team roping.”
“Should I guess which event you’ll enter when you have a midlife crisis and run off to join the rodeo?”
That got more of a smile, but he only got to see a piece of it while she talked to the lake instead of him. “I already compete now and then, when there’s a local charity rodeo. Roping is good because either you rope that calf when he bolts out of the chute or you don’t. Your horse matters a lot more than your gender. Or an MBA.”
Graham didn’t know what she saw in that lake, but he saw a woman who had her own opinions, her own set of values, her own way of seeing the world. She already knew how to set her personal boundaries; she wouldn’t let her ex or a store owner or Graham tell her that what she knew wasn’t what she knew. Now she was ready to take on the rest of the world, and she was right that an MBA would be useless in the world she was going to make for herself.
“So you’re done with college,” Graham said. “What’s going to happen when you tell your family ‘no, thanks’ on the MBA?”
“If I rebel against their plans, I’ve been told I’ll have nowhere to live. I’ve only got my on-campus apartment or their house. No MBA means no campus housing. As far as living with my parents, it’s a big ‘don’t bother coming home, young lady, not when I’m willing to pay for your school.’”
Graham nodded as he rubbed his day’s beard, the roughness on his palm sharpening his senses a bit. “Okay, rebel. Let’s think about this. You’ll need to pay for the rest of your bachelor’s yourself, then. But first priority would be getting a place to live.”
Finally, she was more interested in him than in the lake. That expressive face of hers looked confused. “Are you encouraging me to not go back to school this weekend?”
“Of course. It doesn’t help any of your goals. You made perfect sense when you explained it.” He angled himself to face her now that she was facing him, ready for a brainstorming session. “You need enough income to pay for the online course tuition, but not until this summer. You’ll need decent internet access to take the course, but that shouldn’t cost too much. How about your pickup truck? Do you have to make payments on that?”
“No, I own it.” Her confusion was giving way to something that looked a little like amazement.
“So just gas money and insurance, then.” He wondered why she looked so amazed. This was pretty basic brainstorming, but he explained, anyway. “If you ballpark these expenses, then you’ll know what your minimum acceptable salary is when you start job interviews. It’ll save you the time and effort of interviewing for positions that can’t meet your needs.”
“Oh, Graham.” The way she breathed his name, it sounded like he’d just taken her over the edge again, given her a moment of bliss.
“What, Emily?” His voice sounded husky, even to him.
In a burst of exuberance, she closed the gap between them, throwing herself on him, more or less, as much as the balled-up comforter that got stuck between them would allow. “Midshipman-Lieutenant-Captain-Mr. Benjamin Graham, you are wonderful.”
“For laying out your expenses?” he muttered, but he had to smile at her excitement.
That quickly, she teared up. She grabbed his face in two cold hands and kissed him square on the lips, hard and fast. “You are the very first person who hasn’t told me to stay where I don’t want to be. I haven’t had a single person agree with me and say ‘go for it,’ not one, not since...”
Actual tears wet her lashes as she looked up at the ceiling of the SUV, trying to recall the last time. It made Graham’s heart hurt all over again.
“Not since my senior year in high school. Once it became time to apply for colleges, that was it. No one said my decision not to go to college might be valid. Not one person could accept that my associate’s degree might be enough. I couldn’t even get anyone to agree that taking Hydrology online this summer was the most sensible option.”
She let go of his face to wipe the tears off her own. She kind of laughed and cried at the same time, reminding Graham of the soppy happy endings of the TV movies his mother watched.
“I’m sorry,” Emily laugh-cried. “No, wait. I take it back. I’m not sorry. I’m not apologizing, because I haven’t done anything wrong, right?”
“Oo-rah.” Graham didn’t know what else to say, but he could sit here until dawn and enjoy her happy face.
She wiped her cheeks. “I just didn’t know how good it would feel to hear someone else talk about my goals like they should happen. I think I’ll love you forever for that.”
Chapter Ten
Emily could have listened to Graham brainstorm her future forever. He made it sound so normal, like she wasn’t asking for a crazy dream at all.
“It boils down to pretty simple needs, a job and a place to live. What you don’t need is to defer your life another semester.”
I love you, I love you.
But she restrained herself and said, “Exactly, and I better find that job first thing tomorrow, or else.” The image of her parents, furious at her sister, had been burned in her mind years ago. “Just...or else.”
Graham looked at her intently again. She felt that sense of alertness about him, that sense that he was ready to handle danger. It had an undeniably sexy edge to it, but now that it had returned, she realized how much more relaxed he’d gotten as the night went on, here by the pond. He smiles when he kisses me.
He wasn’t smiling now. “Your parents will kick you out? Immediately?”
“They don’t believe in empty threats. I was in high school when they packed up all my sister’s clothes in boxes and left them in a neat stack on the front porch for her.”
“Which college didn’t she want to go to?”
Emily kind of liked his sarcasm. “She was in the appropriate college, actually, but she got pregnant.”
Graham was perfectly still for a moment. Then very deliberately, he pushed the comforter off himself and turned so he sat on the edge of the vehicle. He was tall, so his feet were on the ground as he glared at her lake. “That’s a hell of a time to tell your kid she’s got to fin
d her own place to live. This is who you’re dealing with?”
“They were willing to help her, but they demanded that she name the father. She refused. It was an ultimatum, tell us or else. They didn’t see why the boy shouldn’t have to help, or why he shouldn’t face any consequences. They wanted the boy to take responsibility.”
Graham’s profile had that marble-statue hard look again. “I can agree with that much, but punishing the girl when she needs support is complete bull. That’s not the time to throw out your own damn daughter, for fu—for God’s sake.”
Tarzan would be a fiercely protective father some day. It wasn’t something Emily had looked for in a man before, but it was so easy at this moment to look at Graham’s profile and imagine him twenty years from now. He’d be very little changed, physically. He was already a man with no trace of boyishness left. Twenty years from now, he might have some gray in his hair or some crinkles at the corners of his eyes. He’d be just as handsome, just as protective, and if he had a nineteen-year-old daughter who needed him, there’d be no conditions set first, no criteria that would entitle her to his best effort.
This night was changing her life. Graham was setting the bar so high. No wonder the plans she’d made for her future had never included a permanent relationship. She hadn’t met Graham yet, so she hadn’t known what was possible.
The vertigo didn’t take her by surprise this time, but it was still scary, and it kept her silent.
Graham looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “Sorry. They’re your parents.”
“You’re not supposed to apologize when you’re right.”
“Ah, Emily.”
“Someone taught me that. Can’t remember his name right now...” But Graham was still looking so deadly serious. She patted his arm, maybe a bit of a horsey pat. “It happened years ago, so it’s not as shocking to me now as it is to you. But you’re right about how badly my mom and stepfather handled it.”
“Did they learn from it? Do you think they’d be as harsh with you over college? You’re not dropping out. You’re just going to get your diploma in September instead of at a ceremony in May.”
“I’m afraid it’ll be easier for them now that they’ve done it once. They are not going to have two daughters break their rules. One was unacceptable. Two will not be tolerated.”
“Then you know what to expect. A predictable enemy can be planned against.” He winced at his own words. “Sorry. Again. They’re not your enemy. They’re your parents.”
“I know what you meant. My sister handled it better than they did. She’s a great mom.” Emily scooted over to sit next to him, her legs dangling over the edge as she nudged him, shoulder to shoulder. “She’s a good sister, too. I sure learned a lesson about birth control. She made sure of that before she left. You’ll notice that in the front seat tonight, at that certain moment in the dark, I said ‘protection,’ not ‘Benjamin.’”
There was a moment of electric silence.
“They kind of sound similar. Thought maybe you hadn’t caught that.”
Yeah, I went there. C’mon, don’t be sad on a great night.
“You are something else, Emily.” Graham both laughed and gave his head a little shake of disbelief, but then he bent his head and kissed her sweetly. The comforter was now a tangled heap behind them, so Graham grabbed one of the new towels and wrapped it around her shoulders. “I’m still worried about you tomorrow. Do you have anywhere else to live?”
“Honestly, now that I’ve made this decision, I’m not worried at all. I’m excited, so excited. If I can’t find a friend’s house to crash at, I can sleep in my truck for a few days. That’s the worst-case scenario.”
“I don’t want you to have to sleep in a truck.”
“If I’m not willing to do that, then I don’t want it badly enough, do I?” She looked at her lake. It was still perfectly smooth, but she was going to stir things up. A triple cartwheel, why not?
She hopped off the SUV and landed, barefoot, on the cold earth. It was shocking on the soles of her feet. It felt good. “I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders now, not on them. I knew the solution was so obvious. Just take one little online course over the summer, obvious, obvious, obvious. But when everyone around you thinks this big, expensive, life-changing plan is necessary, you start to wonder if you’re the crazy one. I’m so glad I met you. I just needed to hear you call an online course an online course. That put it all in perspective. I’m not crazy. Thank you.” She was keeping the towel around herself tightly, the ends in her fists, but she leaned forward and kissed Graham as sweetly as he’d kissed her. “Thank you.”
“Come here.” He put his hands on her hips and pulled her to stand between his knees.
Yes.
“Let’s talk about timing. If you think your parents are going to kick you out in a knee-jerk reaction, can you keep your plans a secret until you find a job?”
“I’d have to find it by Sunday. That’s when I’m supposed to drive back to Oklahoma.” Even as she spoke, all the little pieces were falling into place. She tapped his shoulder in excitement with her fistful of towel. “Actually, the timing is perfect. I can stay at my cousin’s house. It wasn’t an option when I graduated from high school because my aunt and uncle lived there, and they weren’t going to defy my mother. But it’s been only Luke living there for years. He just got married, right before Christmas, and he’s off on his honeymoon. He won’t care if I crash there while he’s gone.”
“This is a key-under-the-doormat kind of thing? You’ll be able to get in?”
“If it’s even locked, yes. I was going to spend the weekend there, anyway. One last chance to ride before going back to school.”
“Horses again.”
“You laugh now, but you’re going to love riding, too.”
Graham was silent, but she let him get away with it this time. She was feeling bubbly, almost giddy with relief that she was going to stop playing by her parents’ rules, but Graham was still anticipating danger for her. That sobered her up a bit.
“Instead of leaving Sunday for Oklahoma, I’ll just stay on longer at Luke’s.” But she didn’t want to sober up. She wanted Graham to smile against her lips again, so she kissed him. And she kissed him again, a little less sweetly, a little more sexily. When he took over, kissing her a little longer, tasting her a little more, she whispered, “I’ll be just fine as can be.”
It changed his kisses. He kissed her cheek, her temple. He smoothed her hair back and started finger-combing the worst of her tangles out. He was fussing over her. Loving her.
There was no vertigo. It didn’t scare her at all to be taken care of by Graham.
“Don’t spend the next three months worrying about me,” she said. “I just thought of the perfect plan.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“The timing is perfect for everything. The week before the wedding, Luke and my uncle were getting into it pretty hard in the kitchen. I told you my aunt and uncle took off once Luke turned twenty-one, right? They’ve been traveling all around the world, coming home only for roundup and Christmas, big events like that. Trey, the other brother, finally came home for the wedding, but it was his first time home in ten years. Ten. So, the gist of the conversation was that Luke is done with being left to run the whole thing three hundred and sixty-five days a year. His new wife is in charge of Texas Rescue and Relief—do you know it in Chicago? It does a lot of emergency work, natural disasters, stuff like that. Anyway, Luke’s wife works in downtown Austin. They want to be able to go back and forth between the ranch house and her place downtown. I think that’s fair, don’t you?”
“Here, sit on my knee so your bare feet get off that cold ground.”
Emily tried to play it cool when she was secretly thrilled. That gruff order meant he wanted to hear the rest of her sto
ry, and he wanted to make her more comfortable while she told it. She let him settle her on his thigh. He kept his arm around her waist.
“But my uncle, he’s not going to come back to ranching. He knows ranching, he’s good at it, but it’s never been his passion. My mom says his father had guessed that and was afraid he’d sell the place, so the will included Luke and Trey, even though they were just itty-bitty at the time. Anyway, so there I was in the kitchen with the guys, and my uncle says to Luke that he’s already put in twenty-one years, running the place until Luke could inherit it. He won’t return until he’s taken twenty-one years off.”
“Damn. Does your whole family go so hard-core with the ultimatums?”
“Pretty much. My mother always says I’m too stubborn, but she doesn’t seem to see that I come by it naturally.”
“You’re confident.”
“I’m stubborn.”
“It’s attractive on you. You’re going to need it to make this move.”
She was reduced to that satin ribbon again, not from a sexy embrace this time, but from a compliment that made her worst trait sound like her strength. Her smile felt a little wobbly. “Have I mentioned that I’m glad you walked into my life tonight?”
Silence. The warm hand on her waist was solid, though.
“So, Luke’s ultimatum was that if Trey and my uncle aren’t going to help, then they’re going to sink some of their share of the profits into hiring more people to work for them. For starters, they’re going to hire one more hand now that the holidays are over. I could be that one. They haven’t even advertised the job yet. I’m the most qualified applicant they’ll ever get. Lord knows I’ve mucked out enough stalls in their barn for free. It won’t kill them to pay me instead of hiring an outsider. I’m a shoo-in.”
But the more excited she got, the more subdued Graham got.
“What do you think?” she asked.
“I think I should keep my opinions to myself,” he said. “You don’t need my help. I don’t know how a family ranch runs, but you do. I don’t know your family, but you do. I’ll say this much—the only thing anyone can do is trust their own judgment and go for it. Just don’t forget that there are always two possible outcomes. It will work, or it won’t. You have to be ready for the ‘won’t.’”