With this thought, he climbed back into bed, pulled her naked body back against his and wrapped his arms around her. Although he knew he couldn’t stay here like this forever—there was so much work to be done around the dairy, especially with this latest unwelcome development—he wished they could spend the whole day together in his bed drinking each other in and making love.
‘Meg?’ he asked, an idea landing in his head.
‘Yes?’ she whispered.
‘You know how I won that weekend away to a spa retreat in Margaret River?’
‘Yes.’
‘I was going to give it to Dad and Sandra, but how would you feel coming away with me instead? I can get Funky to help Tab and Ethan with the cows and I’m sure Tab will be happy to look after Ned—she’s always telling me I work too hard. I’d really love us to spend the weekend together, just you and me. What do you say?’
‘What about your dairy contract problem?’
‘Forget about that for a moment. I just want to know if you’d like to spend the weekend with me. We haven’t even been on a proper date yet, and I want the chance to wine and dine you.’ He was already imagining what it would be like—no rush to get up for the first time in as long as he could remember, no pressing engagements or jobs to be done: maybe they’d have breakfast in bed, followed by sex, then a shower and then whatever it is they do to you at day spas. Massages? Facials? Things he’d previously turned his nose up at sounded positively tempting when he thought about doing them with Meg.
‘I’d love that,’ she said finally, turning over to face him and pressing her mouth against his cheek. ‘Thank you for asking.’
‘Good.’ He grinned. ‘I’ll call the resort and see when they can book us in.’
‘Okay. Sounds good.’
That settled, and Lawson excited about the prospect of a naughty weekend away in Margaret River, they lay in bed a while longer, talking about the things they could do down south. There were oodles of wineries, gorgeous beaches to stroll along, caves to visit and even a chocolate factory. That’s if they ever made it out of the bedroom.
After a while, he realised he was the one doing most of the talking.
‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he asked, hoping he hadn’t pressured her into sex when she wasn’t feeling so great.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, ‘just tired.’
‘Okay.’ He pressed a kiss against her forehead. ‘I better be getting back to work,’ he said, reluctantly. ‘As much as I’d rather come with you back to Rose Hill and continue our investigation into Eliza’s death, I really do need to make some phone calls regarding our milk contract. But can I make you some lunch first?’
She shook her head. ‘Thank you, but I’m fine. I left Cane inside at home so I better be heading back.’
Chapter Thirty-one
What the hell game are you playing at? Megan asked herself this question over and over again as she drove home. So much for telling Lawson the truth! Instead she’d continued to weave herself a complicated web of deceit. What was she thinking sleeping with him when she should have been spilling her guts. She was a bad, bad person.
A few hours ago she’d been determined to tell him every sordid little detail about her past. No more leaving out vital pieces of information to protect herself—she’d been ready to bare her soul and face the consequences. During the drive to the farm she’d rehearsed her speech and, although her legs had been shaking when she’d climbed out of her car and walked towards his house, she’d had every intention to follow through on her decision but once again life had thrown an obstacle in her path.
The moment Lawson had told her about their devastating dairy contract news, she knew it would be even harder to tell him. How could she when he’d told her how happy he’d been to see her and that with her in his life now nothing could ever be too bleak?
She blinked back tears as she recalled his words. However wrong it might be, she’d been unable to resist when he’d pulled her into his arms and carried her down the hallway to his bedroom. Letting him kiss her senseless—kiss her till she forgot she had anything to tell him anyway—had been the much easier, much more appealing option, and she’d appeased her remorse by telling herself she was doing it for him because she didn’t want to make his day any worse.
But now as she approached Rose Hill, the guilt inside her grew and twisted like a gnarly weed. She knew she was digging herself deeper and deeper into a hole but she really had no clue how to climb out of it. If she told him everything, she was sure she’d lose him. But if she didn’t tell him and somehow he eventually found out …
That thought was unbearable. So much that she’d even contemplated stopping at the bottle shop for more grog to help her obliterate it but somehow she’d resisted the temptation, a little voice inside her reminding her how easy it would be to come to rely on as she had other drugs to help her through her problems.
No matter what happened with Lawson, she didn’t want to go back to that dark, dark place ever again. A place where she had no control over her own actions and lost perspective on what was happening around her.
When she arrived at the general store, she found Archie turning away from her front door, Buster looking solemn by his side. She surreptitiously wiped her eyes and pasted a smile on her face.
‘Hello, missy,’ he called, lifting his hand in a wave.
‘Hi, Archie,’ she replied as she walked on shaky legs towards him.
‘I just came to check on ya. You didn’t look so great yesterday arvo and I was worried. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.’ The smile on his face dimmed a little. ‘Are you okay?’
She opened her mouth to tell him that yes, she was fine—much better than yesterday, thanks for asking—but the words caught on a lump in her throat and she knew tears were imminent. ‘Actually,’ she said with a shake of her head, ‘I’m a mess.’
‘Oh, love.’ Archie stepped forwards and drew her into his arms. It wasn’t at all like being embraced by Lawson but it was exactly what she needed. ‘It can’t be that bad.’
‘It is. It’s worse,’ she sobbed, no longer even trying to hold back her tears.
‘Now, now,’ he said, rubbing her back. ‘Don’t cry. I don’t know how to handle women and tears.’
Yet, despite his declaration, he was wonderful. He dug her key out of her bag when her hands were shaking too much to do so herself, then he unlocked the door and ushered her inside. Cane jumped up all over them, unable to decide who to welcome first. Once the pup had calmed down, Archie put him and Buster outside while Megan went into the kitchen to make them cups of coffee.
He returned to find her holding the kettle under the tap, staring at it. As the water overflowed, Archie stepped in and switched off the tap. He took the kettle out of her hand, led her over to a chair and all but pushed her into it. Then he proceeded to make the drinks himself and even found a container of chocolate bickies that he put on the table between them when he finally sat down. She didn’t feel like eating but she picked one up and broke it into little pieces.
‘Now, tell Uncle Archie what the problem is,’ he said, picking up his mug and peering over it down at the remains of the cookie.
Megan sighed and dusted off her fingers. She had no idea where to begin. Archie was patient and gave her a few moments before he prodded. ‘Is it something to do with that man who’s visited you a few times?’
His words surprised her—she hadn’t known he’d ever seen Lawson in Rose Hill. As far as she knew he never ventured further than the service station. She pursed her lips together and nodded.
‘If he’s done anything to hurt you, I’ll kill him,’ Archie said, his expression dead serious.
‘Lawson has been nothing but wonderful to me. No one has ever made me feel like he does.’ She blushed a little then added, ‘Do you know how his wife died?’
Archie shook his head. ‘I didn’t know he had a wife. Might have seen him once or twice but I didn’t even know his name until you said
it then. Why?’
Megan swallowed. ‘Five years ago there was an armed robbery at the petrol station in Walsh. Lawson’s wife was behind the counter and she was killed.’
She saw the moment realisation dawned in Archie’s eyes—they widened slowly and then his whole face twisted as if he were in pain, but he didn’t say anything.
‘You were living here when she … when it happened. Didn’t you hear anything about it?’ Megan knew she sounded accusatory but she couldn’t help it. If she’d known about this from the beginning she wouldn’t have let herself get so close to Lawson.
‘Maybe I vaguely remember something but I didn’t put two and two together.’ He frowned. ‘So I take it you haven’t told him what you got locked up for?’
‘I haven’t even told him I’ve been in prison,’ she spat, nausea rising in her stomach again.
‘Ah, girl, you’ve got yourself into a bit of a pickle, haven’t you?’
She glared at Archie. ‘You were the one that told me not to tell people in the first place.’
He raised his hands. ‘That was when you said you were making friends with people, not sleeping with them.’
Her cheeks burned—she didn’t want to talk about this with Archie; it was too much like talking about sex with her dad would have been. Plus, thinking about sex with Lawson only made her want to cry all over again.
‘So,’ Archie continued, ‘when did he tell you about his wife?’
‘He didn’t. I found out from the internet.’
Archie raised his eyebrows. ‘Sounds like you’re not the only one keeping things close to your chest then.’
‘I think it hurts him to talk about her. He’s mentioned her a couple of times but actually how she died never came up. Obviously the whole town knows so perhaps he just forgot I didn’t know or assumed I did. Now I wish I’d asked but I didn’t want to upset him.’
‘Hmm.’ Archie took a long sip of his coffee.
‘What’s hmm supposed to mean? I need more than hmm.’ When Archie still didn’t offer a solution, Megan said, ‘I went over to tell him today but when I got there I found out that he’d just been given bad news about his dairy contract. He and his sister were obviously distressed about it and it didn’t seem the right time to drop my bombshell, but the longer I leave it the worse it’s gunna be, right?’
‘You know,’ Archie said slowly, ‘there is another option.’
Megan leaned forwards, all ears.
‘You’ve told everyone your name’s Meg Donald, but it’s really Megan Mc-something, right?’
She nodded. ‘McCormick. Donald was my mother’s maiden name. I thought using it might help my efforts to move on, but I never dreamed of getting involved with someone, so I didn’t think the swap would ever be an issue.’
‘So why don’t you officially change your name?’
Silence rang in the kitchen a few moments as she contemplated this suggestion. Could it be possible to totally reinvent herself? Was this the answer to finally leaving the past behind? Maybe no one would ever have to know who she’d once been. It wasn’t like there was anyone from her past likely to show up and call her on it.
‘Do they even let convicted felons do that?’ she asked.
Before either of them could answer, her mobile beeped. Almost on autopilot, she pulled it out of her bag and glanced down at the message icon on the screen. ‘It’s him,’ she said, her heart thudding into her chest cavity.
Archie nodded at the phone. ‘Are you going to read it?’
Somehow she slid her finger across the screen to unlock the message.
Good news. I called the retreat place and they had a cancellation this weekend. Can you get Archie to look after Cane? If not, Tab says she’s happy to have him here. Please say you can make it? xx
‘Oh God.’ She groaned as she reread the message.
‘What is it?’
Megan swallowed. ‘Lawson wants me to go away with him to Margaret River for the weekend. Like tomorrow.’
Archie frowned. ‘I didn’t think dairy farmers took holidays.’
‘I know. That’s why I feel so terrible. Taking time off is a big deal—it shows how much he’s invested in our relationship and yet … he doesn’t know who I really am.’
‘Hey, don’t beat yourself up too much,’ Archie said, quite fiercely. ‘For one, he does know you—he knows who you are now and who you want to be. And for two, he never told you about his wife either, so you’re not the only one to blame here. Seems to me the two of you have a lot to talk about and that maybe a weekend away from other distractions will be the perfect opportunity to do so. And to work out if you really have a future together after all.’
‘A second ago you were telling me to change my name and reinvent history.’
He chuckled, then shrugged. ‘Still an option.’
Megan shook her head. She wanted a relationship with Lawson, she wanted a future and a family, and she knew deep down that if she had the chance she could be a good mother for Ned and a good partner for Lawson. But she’d never be able to give herself entirely to any of that if she continued living a lie.
‘Can you look after Cane this weekend?’ she asked Archie.
He nodded. ‘You know it’s always a pleasure. He exercises Buster for me, which means I don’t have to drag my sorry arse out for a walk.’
‘A walk would probably be good for you,’ she said, ‘but thanks.’
Then without another word she picked up her phone and, despite shaking fingers, managed to type out a reply: Archie here now and said yes to looking after Cane. I can make it. xo
His reply was almost instantaneous: Awesome. Tell him I said thanks. I’ll pick you up about midday tomorrow. I’ll miss you tonight but since I’m leaving Ned with Tab all weekend I’d better stay home. xx
Relief flooded Megan at this news.
Of course. I’ll see you then. xo
‘Do you want another coffee?’ she asked Archie.
He shook his head and pushed to his feet. ‘Nah, I want to be getting back to my painting, but just needed to check my girl was okay first. Are you?’
She smiled, warmth flooding her at the way he said my girl. Even if the worst happened tomorrow, she now had someone in her life and that was a lot more than she’d had when she first drove into Rose Hill. ‘I’m not sure okay is the correct term, but I’m a lot better than I was before this chat. Thank you.’ She gave him a massive hug. ‘I’m going to head over to the historical society and concentrate on Eliza for a while. I’ll see you out.’
They went out the back and collected Buster, who was panting hard after running around the garden with Cane. She clipped a leash onto her dog and then the four of them walked out the side gate and down the deserted street. She and Cane stopped at the historical society and Archie and Buster continued down the road.
Once inside Megan threw herself into her research. She made a concerted effort to try and not think about Lawson and the weekend ahead. The last few times she’d meant to tell him, she’d rehearsed long and hard beforehand about what to say, but those times something had always got in the way. This time would be different—she’d put it out of her mind until it was upon them and this time she would tell him everything: nothing would get in the way. Whatever happened, if there was an earthquake in Margaret River, if a tsunami swept the south coast, if aliens invaded Western Australia, she would still confess all.
With this decision made, she pulled out a wooden chair and sat down at the desk where she’d piled up all the 1930s copies of the local newspaper. The first time she’d gone through she’d been looking for information about a death in the general store and after that focusing on finding out whatever she could about Eliza, but today, she was going to change tack. It was time to focus her attentions on Henry Walsh.
Starting at the very first newspaper of 1930, Megan reread each one in dedicated detail—she didn’t want to miss something important. Finally, as her stomach started to rumble and the sun began to d
escend in the sky outside, she found something in the announcements column of the newspaper.
Henry Walsh and Penelope Elverd regret to inform of the dissolution of their engagement.
What? But Henry had married Penelope.
Megan glanced upwards to the date at the top of the page and realised it was only a week or so before Eliza’s supposed suicide. She put the newspaper into her important pile and started on the next one, this time flicking through faster and faster looking for one particular thing.
A year later she found it—the wedding pictures of Mr and Mrs Henry Walsh. And it was as if Adeline were smiling up at her from the black and white, now yellowed, photograph. The likeness between her and Penelope was uncanny. A chill scuttled down Megan’s spine and spread right to her extremities as she recalled her dream of last night—it hadn’t been Adeline she’d been dreaming of, but her grandmother.
Scrambling to her feet, she gathered the significant newspapers to her chest, roused Cane from where he’d been slumbering at her feet, locked up the historical society and hurried home.
Once there, she filled a bowl with dog food and deposited it on the back verandah, then shut the door behind him, not wanting Cane to be upset by what she was about to do. She walked down the hallway and paused when she felt the chill by the stairs.
‘Eliza?’ she whispered. ‘Are you here?’
Megan’s heart froze as she waited for some kind of a response. When the house remained deadly silent, she spoke again. ‘Was it Penelope Elverd? Did she push you?’
Talk of the Town Page 30