by Asher North
"Are you scared?" Rhys asked and Damon couldn't help but laugh.
"I’d be a fool if I wasn't. Aren't you?" Damon asked.
"Of course, but also hopeful," he said, which brought a smile to Damon's face despite himself. He was more than scared or fearful; he was terrified. Still, Rhys was being incredibly brave and strong, and Damon knew that he needed to be just as strong if not more so. He’d vowed never to let Rhys down again, and he intended to make good on that. He didn't know what the future would hold for them with the Packless, and he wasn't entirely confident they would agree to work with Rhys, but if anything came up that required Damon's help, Damon would be there to do it without hesitation.
"I admire you so much," Damon said. He hadn't intended to start that kind of conversation, but the moment prompted it. Once the words had left his mouth, he didn't regret saying them. It was true, he did admire Rhys, in more ways than he thought he would ever be able to express.
"You do?" Rhys asked, on the verge of laughing, as if he didn't believe Damon.
"I do," Damon said, his voice sure and full of meaning. "You’re one of the strongest wolves I've ever met in all of my relatively short days. I think you are stronger even than my father was, though in a different way."
"And in what way might that be?" Rhys asked.
"You aren't afraid of your own feelings. In fact, you embrace them, and they often enhance your strength. I wish more wolves were like that," Damon said. "I wish I could be more like you.”
“You can,” Rhys said. “We’re building a new world and a better future, remember? In that new world, anything will be possible. You can be, say, and do whatever you’d like, however you’d like,” he continued and despite all of the dangers surrounding them, Damon felt for the first time that maybe things would be okay. If nothing else, he had Rhys and he had his child, he had friends, and he had hope.
He wrapped an arm around Rhys and pulled him into himself, wrapping his other arm around their child to form a sort of cradle between them. He had no idea what waited for them, and probably wouldn't know until it came, but he chose not to fret about it now.
In this moment, with these people, everything was perfect. If he were to die soon, he would die happy. It still overwhelmed him that such a thing was possible. From a very young age, he’d convinced himself he had nothing to look forward to in his life, being the weak and frightened Alpha that he was. He realized now how wrong he’d been. He had everything to look forward to and everything to fight for.
Later that evening, after the sun had once again set beneath the sea, Cynno came to them and when he stopped in front of their small fire, he did not look like he brought good news. Rhys had fallen asleep along with the child, who they still had not chosen a name for, and Damon didn't want to disturb him. Gently, he set Rhys's head down against Kaster, who had also fallen asleep, and walked with Cynno back to the beach.
"What is it?" Damon asked when they reached the shore. It seemed fitting that where this it started it should also end.
"My fellow wolves are reluctant, as I’m sure you can imagine," Cynno said.
"Understandably," Damon said. If he were in their fur he would have felt the same. These wolves didn't know Rhys and Damon better than they knew any other wolf from the mainland, and they no doubt had little love for them, so he didn’t blame them for wanting to remain separate from the conflicts of mainland wolves. Still, if they weren’t able to secure the help of the Packless, Damon knew that they were doomed. The Black Claws would come for them, the Packless would not defend them, and everything would come to an end. He couldn't let that happen.
"Still, there is a chance we might be able to convince them," Cynno said. "Personally, I don't want to get involved in this any more than they do, but I know the stakes. As your mate said, they will come regardless of our decision, so it seems to me that there isn't much of a choice to be made."
"Then what seems to be the problem?" Damon asked. He didn't like being led around in circles like this. Whatever Cynno had to say he could say. Damon was no longer the fragile wolf that he had once been. He'd seen too much to remain that way.
"We Packless have a different way of decision making then mainlanders do," Cynno said. "As I said earlier, we’re not ruled by any one wolf or group of wolves."
"Then whom or what are you ruled by?" Damon asked.
"Strength," Cynno said, fixing his eyes on Damon. He knew well what that meant, and it gave him no comfort. "If you seek to win the favor of the Packless, you must earn it the only way it can be earned: by combat. They will never respect nor follow you otherwise."
"I can’t say I’m surprised," Damon said. The stories said the Packless wolves were savages, uncivilized and unruly, but Damon realized now that the stories had all been wrong. When they’d stayed with the Gold Eyes, Damon had had his eyes opened to how blind the Black Claw teachings were about the other packs, and he knew now that their teachings on the Packless wolves were no less incorrect and malicious. There was nothing wrong with the way that the Packless conducted themselves, it was only that the other major packs didn’t understand their ways.
"What kind of combat is it we’re speaking of?" Damon asked when he gathered his thoughts.
"It’s a trial of sorts, a ceremony, if you will," Cynno said. "I'm told that you mainlanders sometimes have challenges for control of the pack, and they are often treated as ceremonial events. This is no different."
"And who will be battling whom?" Damon asked.
"Any of my wolves will be free to nominate themselves, and you will be free to nominate any of your fellows. They will fight, and the winner of the battle will make the decision for all of us,” Cynno said.
"And is this battle to the death? Damon asked, already knowing the answer.
"Is there any other outcome?" Cynno asked. Though at first Damon thought he was being lighthearted, when he turned to look at Cynno's face, he realized that wasn’t the truth of it. Perhaps the Packless really didn't know any other way to settle their differences. He felt grateful that he’d never have to live among them and adapt to their rules.
"I suppose not," Damon said. Immediately, his mind went to his friends. The logical choice would have been to nominate Eleo to fight for them, because Damon had no doubt that Eleo would be able to best any of the Packless, who were untrained and malnourished. They would never stand a chance against Eleo’s strength. But Eleo was in no condition to fight. He’d healed to a certain extent but it would not be enough.
Damon also knew that once Rhys learned of the news, he would volunteer himself to fight, but Damon could not allow that either. It occurred to him then that there was only one choice. It would have to be Damon himself who fought for their side, and where previously that would have given him pause, now he felt more confident than he ever thought possible. He was not the world’s strongest fighter but he had something worth fighting for, and he hoped that that would make all the difference. Rhys would no doubt be indignant about Damon's choice, but once he realized there was no other choice to make, Damon believed Rhys would understand.
"When will the battle be?" Damon asked.
"As soon as you’re ready," Cynno said. "However, we don’t need to rush into things. There’s more than enough time."
"No, you're wrong. There's no such thing as time anymore," Damon said. "My brother and his wolves are coming for us, we don't have the luxury of delaying. We need you and your fellows to help us in our fight, so the sooner we’re able to win your favor, the better off we'll all be." Cynno smiled at him.
"Perhaps I misjudged you," he said. "You have an edge to you that hadn’t seen before."
"True strength isn't always blatant," Damon said, though he himself had not yet come to believe that was true. However, in this case, he knew he would have to make it so. It wouldn’t be his physical strength that won this battle, it would be his wits and determination. And determined he was. There was no option for failure.
"Get your rest, you’ll n
eed it. All of you will need it. Send for me when you’re ready and we’ll begin," Cynno said and left Damon standing on the beach. Once again Damon found himself staring out at the open ocean, thinking everything over. Where the surface of the water was still and calm, the waters of Damon's mind were in chaos. He vacillated from feeling like victory was guaranteed to feeling like he’d made a terrible mistake before he’d taken any action. What little training he’d received from Rhys and Eleo, which seemed so far away now that it was almost laughable, wouldn’t be enough to see him through this. He thought of asking Eleo for further training, but knew there wasn’t time.
And then there was the issue of breaking the news to Rhys. It would not go over well, of that Damon could be certain. Rhys would vehemently object and volunteer to fight himself, which was not an option. Of the two of them, Rhys was far more important to the survival of their child than Damon was. That wasn't a factor Damon took lightly, and not something that he hoped would come to pass, but it was a reality that he had to be prepared for. As much as he hoped that he would not lose this battle, he could not deny that it was a possibility.
Still, despite his fear, he knew he was making the right decision. This might be the chance that he’d been looking for to prove himself to Rhys and to everyone else, to make up for his inability to protect Rhys before their child had been born. If that wasn’t a cause worth fighting to the death for, he wasn’t sure what was.
With that conviction burning in his heart, Damon returned to the makeshift camp. Unsurprisingly, Rhys was awake and talking in low voices with Kaster, who held their son and was making him laugh, a high-pitched giggle that brought a smile to Damon’s face.
He stood for a moment watching the three of them, wondering if this might be one of the last times that true happiness graced them. Even if he won the coming battle, the days after would be neither easy nor uplifting. It was war they faced, a war that wouldn’t be without consequence and casualties. That wasn’t the kind of world Damon wanted for his son, but it was the kind of world they found themselves in. The only way to change it would be to win the war and beat back those who would see them oppressed. Damon intended to do just that.
Noticing Damon standing there, Rhys stood and made to join him. When they were close, Rhys took Damon's hand in his own and led him back to Kaster and the baby.
"He opened his eyes!" Rhys said. Damon crouched down beside Kaster and saw that it was true. The baby held its eyes wide open and they immediately found Damon, as if by instinct. The irises were a crisp, warm gold, unlike any shade that Damon had seen on a pup; a perfect mixture of his and Rhys's. The sight gave him chills and renewed his commitment to fight for this perfect young child and its future.
"He's more beautiful than I thought possible," Damon said in awe. He stroked the child's tiny hand with his finger and the boy gripped it with surprising strength. It was a small motion, something that might not have otherwise made any kind of impression on him, but in that moment Damon realized how special his child was. Somehow, though he could not explain why, he knew that his baby would go on to do great things. It was impossible for him not to, being the product of two wolves who had already done great things and would hopefully live to do many more.
"And he's ours. Can you believe that?" Rhys asked, squeezing Damon's hand. Damon turned to him and found tears in Rhys's eyes, though they were tears of joy, and he couldn't help himself. Overcome with emotion, he leaned in and kissed Rhys, not a passionate kiss but a loving one, using his body to say everything he couldn't find appropriate words for. Rhys melted beneath him and groaned his approval, kissing Damon back with a fire that matched his own.
When they broke, Rhys's eyes searched Damon's face, and the look of adoration that he had previously worn quickly turned to concern when he found the anguish within Damon's heart.
"What is it? Is something wrong?" Rhys asked. Damon wanted to speak, to tell him everything, but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to do it. It was too difficult. He didn't want to ruin this otherwise perfect moment between his mate and their child, didn't want to bring reality back into a miraculous situation. "Damon, tell me. Whatever it is, tell me."
"I spoke with Cynno while you were sleeping," Damon started.
"And what did he say?" Rhys asked, the tone of his voice rising along with his concern.
"There is still hope for us and for our alliance with the Packless, but it won't come easy," Damon said and Rhys seemed to immediately understand.
"I knew there would be conditions," he said, his voice turned somewhat flat and lifeless.
"We always knew we would have to fight for what we needed and what we wanted," Damon said. "It's no different now. If we want the Packless and their strength, we’ll have to fight for it. To the death." Rhys’s eyes went wide and the color seemed to drain out of his face at once.
“It should be me. It has to be me,” Rhys said in a fervor, as Damon had known he would.
“No. Our son needs you, our world needs you. Let me do this for you, let me make up my mistakes this way. I owe that much to you for giving me a life worth fighting for,” Damon said and Rhys choked up. There wasn’t anything else he could say to deter Damon or change his mind and there weren’t any other options.
“When?” Rhys asked.
“Now. We can’t afford to wait any longer,” Damon said, and after placing a gentle kiss on Rhys’s cheek and their child’s forehead, he left them to find Cynno.
Damon
"I'm ready," Damon said, interrupting the conversation that Cynno had been having with another one of the Packless wolves. Cynno looked up at him and his eyes were grave.
"Already?" Cynno asked. "Are you sure you don't want more time?"
"I would love more time, but time is not afforded me right now," Damon said, but it wasn't just time that concerned him, it was also his resolve. If he waited any longer, he feared that his courage would leave him much the same way that each of his exhales did.
"If that's what you wish, we will make it so," Cynno said, and waved away the other wolves. "Follow me," he continued and without waiting, he set off into the middle of the island, if in fact it could even be called an island.
With each step that Damon took, his heart seemed to pick up its pace. Damon couldn't believe that this was happening, but also refused to believe that he would fail in this fight. Failure was not an option, it had never been. He had no idea how much time remained before the Black Claw army found him and his family, but he knew that it would not be enough time to waste preparing for a fight.
The Packless watched him cautiously as he followed Cynno, and a few even threw growls his way as he passed. He paid them no mind, choosing instead to focus all of his energy and effort on the fight to come. He could only imagine what kind of wolf he would be up against, but from the looks of the entire group, he doubted that they would have much more strength than he did. At least he would have an advantage in that regard.
They reached the center of the main island in a matter of minutes. Cynno turned and sat on his haunches, eyeing Damon. A few wolves gathered around them out of curiosity. Though Cynno was no real leader of the Packless the other wolves seemed to follow him anyway. Cynno kept his eyes locked on Damon, and said nothing, as yet more wolves gathered. It was almost as if they knew something was happening, even if they didn't know exactly what it was. When twenty or so had formed a circle around the two of them, Cynno cleared his throat.
"My fellow wolves," he called, his voice booming across the open air of the island, with nothing to interrupt it but the makeshift camps that each wolf had claimed for themselves. All around Damon, ears perked up and eyes shifted to him. "A decision has come before us, a decision we must make. As you all know, the only way that we can make decisions fairly is through battle, by showing our strength and proving our argument is the correct one. This wolf, Damon, has come before us and requested our assistance." Growls and snarls filled the air in response. This won't be easy, Damon thought disdainfully.
"Quiet down, quiet down. Now, who would fight for the opposition? It’s open to anyone who is interested," Cynno said, his eyes never leaving Damon. It was almost as if he were looking for any sign of weakness, any sign of faltering resolve. Damon made sure not to give it to him or any of the other Packless.
To Damon's surprise, many wolves stepped forward to volunteer, though none of them said anything. Cynno watched them and appraised them each, almost as if his approval were required. A dozen or more wolves had moved closer to the circle to nominate themselves and, to Damon's relief, none of them looked as if they would be a particularly strong challenge to him.
"Surely there must be more of you who would fight for your own," Cynno said. "Or are you really so cowardly that you won't stand up for the things that you claim to believe in?" That seemed to provoke them, and in addition to the growls and snarls that rose up again, several more wolves stepped forward.
"Let me fight! I will prove to this wolf just how ignorant he is," a wolf called from behind Damon. Damon whirled to find a gnarled, horrific looking wolf who was missing half his jaw. Though he was thin and lacking of muscle, his appearance was terrifying enough to make Damon realize that he did not want to fight him. If the wolf had survived having half his jaw taken off, Damon shuddered to think about what he had done to his opponent in that same battle.
"I will consider it, Xeres. Are there any other offers?" Cynno called to the crowd. One of the wolves, a much younger and less threatening looking one who'd already volunteered, spoke up.
"You know as well as I do that Xeres is in no condition to take on this wolf. Allow me to do it," the wolf said.