A Special Summer (Love Conquers All)

by Wells, Victoria

  Entering the kitchen, he encountered Summer’s back as she stood at the sink rinsing off a head of lettuce. The motion of her hands circling the lettuce as she washed it looked soothing. The anger that threatened to tip him over all day dissipated as he imagined it was his neck, shoulders and back her hands were massaging.

  Summer’s mind was miles away thinking about the day she and NJ had when she sensed his presence. She lifted her head tilting it to the side as Nick wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “Hey, Beautiful.” He whispered against her ear.

  “Hey, yourself.”

  Their lips met in what he thought would be a decent kiss. Instead, he was greeted with a quick peck.

  Summer never noticed the frown marring his handsome features. Turning back to the salad, she said, “Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes.”

  Letting go of his hold of her, he leaned against the counter. “All right.”

  The longer he looked at her the more aggravated he became. Her indifference caused him to recall how he tried reaching her earlier at home, then on her cell. Needing someone to talk to he decided to give her a call. When he couldn’t locate her ugly visions played with him as he slammed down the phone refusing to leave a message. Nick told himself it was all the mad drama going on at the office taking his mind to a place he thought he’d overcome. Pushing the thoughts as far away as possible he pressed on to deal with the present circumstances at hand.

  “Where were you today?”

  “What?” she asked with a bewildered look on her face.

  Summer noticed the coolness in his voice. I knew it! Sooner or later he’d pull rank because he’s paying my bills. What’s he doing? Keeping me on lock down or something? Next he’ll start with his custody crap again.“Where were you today?” he repeated in a tight voice.

  Setting the lettuce on the chopping block, Summer faced Nick as she begin to explain her whereabouts to him.

  “NJ and I went to what I thought was going to be lunch with Ava and Starr at the Spaghetti Warehouse.”

  She felt she didn’t need to give him any further explanation. After all, she wasn’t a child and he wasn’t her father.

  “What do you mean by ‘what you thought was going to be lunch’?”

  Summer stared at Nick in disbelief. Mostly from his tone that held a hint of nastiness to it as he spoke to her. Before answering him she did a mental check of what she had done to make him act the way he was acting. Nothing. She hadn’t done a thing.

  “Ava and Starr along with several other co-workers gave me the baby shower I never had.” Summer never took her eyes off him as she spoke. He’s a fool. A complete stupid fool. I can’t believe I’m standing here explaining myself to this nut like I’m twelve years old!

  “Is that right?” Nick asked tersely.

  What does he mean by that? “Nick, don’t you believe me?”When he didn’t answer she went on to say in an irritated voice, “All the gifts are in the NJ’s room if you don’t believe me.” And I even brought your evil butt a piece of cake home. I should put some ex-lax in it.

  Nick didn’t bother to answer her as he continued to press on . “Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?”

  “I forgot to recharge it.”

  Pushing away from the counter he looked down at Summer. Hurt and anger was clearly etched across her face. However, his stubborn pride wouldn’t let him back down on his assault.

  “Try to remember to charge your cell phone the next time you go out.” Nick made it half way out of the kitchen before turning to say, “I needed to talk to you.”

  ♥♥♥

  NJ was lying on his back sucking his tiny fist when Nick somberly walked in the nursery.

  “Hey little buddy you’re just the medicine I need.”

  Recognizing his father’s voice, the infant’s tiny dark eyes twinkled with excitement. All tension was assuaged the moment Nick lifted his son from the crib into his arms. Sitting in the rocking chair he gently rocked the baby and felt at ease for the first time all day.

  The relaxing motion of the rocker was calming. This felt so right. Coming home to Summer and his son every night. Summer. I screwed up again.

  Most of his frustration had come from knowing Summer had no obligation of being committed to him at all. The reality of it all hit him when he couldn’t reach her earlier in the day. He had no right to expect her to be there for him when he needed a shoulder to lean on. At any

  time she would be well within her rights of telling him to get lost and come see NJ on court appointed visits. Just the thought of it made him draw NJ closer to his heart.

  After Nick left the room, angry tears fell one after the other. Summer wiped at them as she set the table. A million things ran through her head so fast she felt a headache coming on. For the life of her, she didn’t understand what he was so irate about. All she had done was take her baby out to have lunch with some friends. Did he expect her to stay in the house all day, every day? Knowing Nick, he probably thought she was out doing only God knows what. Was he going to use this as an excuse to finally file for custody? More tears spilled at the thought. He wouldn’t be that cruel? Would he?

  ♥♥♥

  Dinner was unusually quiet. Summer wouldn’t even look at Nick. She focused all of her attention on NJ as she nursed him. After she fed and burped the baby, she settled him in the infant swing next to the table. Having been recently changed by his daddy and fed by his mommy, NJ was just as content as he sat gurgling and gumming his fist.

  Pushing the food around on her plate with her fork, Summer had lost her appetite because she was rattled by Nick’s funky attitude.

  Nick sensed her troubled state. He knew he was the reason for it. “Summer, I’m sorry about earlier.”

  Summer heard the sincerity, but could she believe it? He was sorry this time. Would he be sorry the next time he blew up at her for no reason at all?

  “Okay,” was all she said as she stood taking her plate into the kitchen.

  Nick watched her walk away. Again he managed to hurt and upset the only woman other than his mother who had ever truly loved him unconditionally.

  ♥♥♥

  “Come in.” Summer called out just above a whisper to the soft knocking on her bedroom door.

  “Do you mind if I sit?”

  Summer gestured with the nod of her head it was okay for him to sit. When he sat she unconsciously reached behind grapping a throw pillow bringing it to her chest, tightly hugging it.

  “I’m really sorry for how I talked to you. I had a hell of a day and took it out on you. I was wrong.”

  “Okay.” Dragging a large hand down his face, Nick let out a deep sigh. This was going to be harder than he thought. He felt there was more to it than her being upset about his blowing up at her.

  “Summer, baby, what’s wrong? Each time I apologized all you have to say is ‘okay’.”It’s now or never, she thought to herself. She had to tell him what she feared most. She couldn’t take walking on eggshells every time he was pissed about something.

  “I’m afraid.”

  “Of what, baby? “

  That you’re going to take ….” The words so painful they were lodged deep in her throat refusing to leave.

  Nick was profoundly confused. What is she talking about? “Take what Summer?”

  Summer choked the words out. “Take NJ from me.”

  Nick was still confused.“Why would I do that?”

  “You said if the paternity test proved you were NJ’s father you would file for custody and I’ll never see him again.”

  Nick clenched his jaw, hissing a string of expletives. “Summer, I was pissed because you didn’t tell me you were pregnant.” His tone had suddenly become cool.

  “I tried to tell you, but every time…” Her voice trailed off again in a soft whisper.

  “Every time what?”

  Taking a deep breath she continued. “Every time I tried to tell you why I hadn’t, you wouldn’t let me ex
plain my side of things. Explain what I was feeling, what I was going through.”

  Nick dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He counted to ten as he wondered why she was bringing this all up. For the most part he had put the fact Summer deceived him out of his mind. He would hear her out. Hear her finally explain her side. But after tonight he told himself this issue was dead. They were burying it forever.

  Slowly, Nick lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. His intense stare softened as he took in how fragile she appeared. His voice was low and soft when he spoke. “I’m listening, explain yourself.”

  Summer’s voice quivered as she spoke softly expressing what she had wanted to tell him months ago. It wouldn’t be too long before the river flowed.

  “When you told me you didn’t want to see me anymore I was devastated. I kept trying to figure out what I had done wrong to make you want to leave me. I thought that…” Summer paused, trying to maintain her composure, “I made you happy. But I was wrong.” She wiped at the tears that started to fall with the palm of her right hand. “I was so hurt. It hadn’t been that long since we vacationed at your cabin. I believed that we had something special. But I was wrong.”

  Nick shifted, uncomfortable from the pain that was so evident in her voice. He’d been selfish; never thinking of the impact his decision to end their relationship would have on her.

  “I was in denial. I didn’t want to believe it was over between us. I called you at home the next day. When you didn’t return my call, I called your office the day after that.”

  Summer’s voice dropped an octave lower as she lowered her head and began to fidget with her hands in her lap. No longer could she hold his gaze. It was too painful to look at him as she relived that difficult time in her life.

  “Your secretary told me you weren’t taking any calls. I knew that meant my calls.”

  Nick remembered. He disregarded the messages telling himself he didn’t have time for Summer’s hysterics. He figured she would get over it, get over him, all the others had.

  “I realized then that you really didn’t want to be bothered with me…that I hadn’t meant anything to you.” Summer let out a painful sigh. “So I tried to forget about you, to get on with my life. But two weeks after you left the states I found out I was pregnant.”

  Summer looked up at Nick through red, swollen eyes. “I told you that, remember?”

  Nick nodded.

  “I also told you about my plans to get an abortion.”

  Again he nodded.

  “Nick, I really wanted to tell you I was pregnant.” Her voice pleaded with him to believe her.

  Nick had been quiet letting her emote up until that point. He wouldn’t be silent either; he finally wanted answers to his questions.

  “Why didn’t you, Summer?”

  “Because I thought if I told you about the baby you would have thought I was trying to trap you into being with me…marrying me. And, I knew you didn’t want a child…or me. I thought that you would have probably forced me to go through with having an abortion whether I wanted to or not.”

  Lord, help him. Nick cringed at the words she spoke. He knew within his heart all those months ago that that’s exactly what he would have insisted on her doing.

  “I guess I was a little selfish. I still loved you, so in my mind and in my heart carrying your baby was a way of holding on to a part of you.”

  Nick gently lifted her chin with his forefinger to meet his gaze. “Do you still love me?”

  Summer nodded. “Yes, I still love you, Nick,” she whispered as she wiped away tears.

  “Go on, I’m still listening,” he prodded gently.

  “As the weeks and months passed I accepted the fact that I would never see you again. Then one day I read in the paper you were coming back to Philly to take on another business venture. I knew I had to avoid seeing you or letting you know about the baby.”

  “Why?” He could feel the heat creeping up his neck.

  “Because I knew what you did to people when you felt that they had used or crossed you. Like how you did Veronica,” Summer softly whispered.

  A flash of disgust waved over his features at the mention of her name.

  “What did you think I’d do?”

  “Exactly what you did, threaten to sue for full custody.”

  “Summer, what did you expect me to do? I felt like I had been kicked in the gut?” Nick let out a frustrated sigh as he felt his composure slipping. “I came to see you that night with the intention of telling you that I had made a mistake… that I wanted you back.” He dragged his hand down his face. His voice was eerily quiet. “You threw me for a damn curve Summer. You were seven months pregnant. You knew at the time that I didn’t want children. Yet you still allowed yourself to get pregnant.”

  Summer winced at his admission of not only wanting children, but the fact that he had blamed her for getting pregnant infuriated her. He was acting as if she had gotten pregnant without his help!

  An indignant anger dried up her well of tears, as she wailed, “Nick, you are being so unfair!”

  “How am I being unfair Summer? You should have told me! I had a right to know!”

  Jumping up from her position on the bed, Summer paced the floor from the shot of adrenaline her anger set off. This can’t be happening. He can’t be serious.

  “Why are you blaming me for everything?” Summer shouted, her face contorted in emotional anguish. “You told me to trust you that night in the cabin. I trusted you. I gave into what you wanted, regardless of the consequences because I loved you! I loved you so much I was willing to raise our son all alone so you wouldn’t have to be bothered with a baby I knew you didn’t want!”

  She couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop. She was determined to let free every pent up emotion she’d held bondage for months in her broken heart.

  “You’re always crying about why I never told you I was pregnant! How do you think I felt? Huh! Crying myself to sleep every night over you! Knowing you didn’t want me anymore! Carrying a baby that I knew you didn’t want!” Summer shouted as she pointed to her heaving chest.

  “And how do you think I felt when people who I grew up with all my life at church pointed their fingers and talked about me when I showed up big bellied at church! Trying to find just a little bit of peace and comfort in my miserable life! You weren’t the one being ridiculed or judged! I had to go to another church because of you!”

  Summer was so overcome with raw emotions she wasn’t aware that she was now stomping her feet in a tantrum like fashion. Nor was she aware Nick had become completely paralyzed. The breadth of her hurt and how he had hurt her was breaking his heart as she emotionally crumbled before his eyes.

  “I gave you everything I had to give! I never asked you for anything, Nick! Whenever you gave me something it was because you wanted to…not because I asked or begged you for it! Whatever you wanted to do…we did! Wherever you wanted to go…we went! I never complained when you showed up hours late for a date without so much of an ‘I’m sorry for making you sit around like a stupid fool waiting on me’!”

  “Noooo, that was too much like right! Instead you always acted like a freakin’ god or something and treated me like I was your stupid little follower worshipping the ground you walked on.” Stopping momentarily, catching her breath, she reminded him, “You even called me out of my name, Nick! You said I was a conniving whore like Veronica! How could you compare me to her? I never lied to you or try to use you like she did!”

  If there were a hole in the floor or a crack in the wall, Nick could have crawled in, he would have settled in there for the rest of his life. The viciousness of his words had come back to haunt him as Summer painfully reminded him of his cruelty.

  Summer’s tone lowered and she trembled as she went on to remind him of their past together. “Nick, you were my first… the only man I ever gave my body to. I gave it to you freely…whenever…wherever…and however you wanted it. I compromised my val
ues for you. I gave you my most precious gift.”

  Emotionally spent, Summer slumped to her knees on the floor. By now her voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper as she looked up at Nick. “I knew you never loved me. I just hoped…even prayed that you had at least cared about me.”

  Immediately, Nick found himself on the floor pulling Summer onto his lap, hugging her in a tight embrace. He did love her. He was just too stupid to admit it at the time.

  “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could make it up to you.”

  “Let me go, Nick! You’re not sorry! All you want is to take my baby from me!” She cried, attempting to push herself away from him.

  Holding her tight as she struggled to free herself, Nick knew if he let her go now she would never come back to him. And that he couldn’t, wouldn’t let happen. “No, sweetheart, that’s not what I want. I could never take NJ from you.” Giving her a tight but gentle squeeze, he assured her, “Baby, you are a wonderful mother. If I had tried taking you to court the judge would have laughed in my face.”

  Summer wasn’t quite ready to agree with him on that notion. She was certain if a man of his caliber offered a crooked judge a tempting bribe anything was possible. And that included having custody of her son given to his father.“Then what Nick? What is it that you want?

  Maintaining his tight hold on her, Nick trailed tender kisses along her forehead, temple and the soft contour of her delicate jaw. “I want you and I want our son. I won’t deny that I was content living a carefree, bachelor life. Not being committed to anyone or anything but my work. And I resented you for forcing me to be the one thing I said I would never be…a father.”

  “Let me finish,” Nick soothed as Summer again struggled to free herself because of his blunt words. Holding her tighter, to the point where breathing was becoming almost difficult for Summer, Nick planted another tender kiss on her temple as he continued to speak. “But then I watched you giving birth to our son, holding him and loving him. And I knew you had made the right decision not to tell me you were pregnant. I had to man up and accept I was the reason why you kept the truth from me.” Releasing Summer from the tight embrace, he lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. “I truly am sorry for everything. I’ve been a complete bastard. Nothing I can say or do will change that. That’s something I’ll have to live with. I also know I’ve hurt you repeatedly. I must live with that, too. I just pray that I haven’t destroyed everything between us.”