“Agree with everything I say,” he reminded me, hard eyes on mine. “Understood.”
Pressing my fingertips into the top of the table, I nodded. “I do.”
Working this close to the man, I’d had many opportunities to commit patricide as planned. And every time I didn’t take that chance it cut me a little deeper. The satisfaction of ridding the world of his stain was an intoxicating thought. But I couldn’t risk the reality. If Grey died by my hand, the cost would come in blood. No matter how much I wanted the satisfaction of revenge, I couldn’t seal another person’s fate that way. And so I stood by, played the dutiful daughter and learnt how to be a crime boss. My unwanted apprenticeship had begun.
“Welcome,” Grey said as the door opened and Breaker entered, followed by Jasmine, and then Toby. He looked exhausted. Dark circles under red-rimmed eyes, sallow skin. He’d styled his hair, shaved his face and put on his suit, looking the part of the man in charge, but I knew him too well not to see the signs. He’d been beside himself. He was hurting just as much as me, if not more.
My heart jumped into my throat the moment we locked eyes. His seemed to ask me if I was okay, so I tried to use mine to tell him I was, to tell him I was sorry. I knew this was all on me.
Taking the seats they were shown to, Toby sat directly across from me and reached one hand out just a touch farther than his other. The tiny connection felt like everything, and it took all of my energy to stop myself from jumping across the table and into his arms.
Run away with me.
We can’t.
“Well,” Breaker said, leaning back in his chair like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was wearing typical biker attire: jeans and a T-shirt with a leather cut proclaiming him a founding member of the Grim Order MC and listing the positions he’d held, right up to VP. “You got us here. How ‘bout you talk?”
“Where’s Lucy first?” Toby demanded, looking from Grey to me, the strain of worry etched into the lines in his face.
“Safe,” Grey said. “If you’ve achieved what I asked, I’ll have her brought up at the conclusion of our meeting.”
“If you’ve touched a hair on her—”
“They haven’t,” I blurted, reaching a hand towards him. “She’s fine. I promise.”
His eyes closed for a moment as he slowly released his breath. Thank god, it said.
Thank god.
If only there really was some benevolent deity watching over us right now. We could use the help.
“Are you OK?” Toby asked, soft voice, gentle gaze.
I nodded. God, I want to rewind time so badly. I wanted to go back to the night we spent in Toby’s apartment and never let it end. I wanted to go back so I never chased after that drone. Back even further so I never trusted Nick. Back further still so I could have killed Grey before he even knew who I was. Then none of this would be happening. Toby would be safe.
If only I could turn back time….
I sounded like a Cher song.
Breaker lifted a hand and shrugged. “Are we fuckin’ doin’ this or what? I got better shit to do.”
Toby sat back and frowned. I hated seeing him stressed like this. Being out of control in a situation severely pushed him outside his comfort zone, much like it did me. I learned in our short time together that he and I were two sides of the same coin. It’s why we’d fit so well together, why we worked.
And why I know he’ll understand why I have to push him away…
Grey checked his watch. “There’s still one more party left to arrive.”
Before anyone else could even fire off a question, the door opened and in walked Robert Conway, the country’s biggest producer of opiates and Grey’s sworn enemy. It was for Conway that the Grim Order had struck a deal on behalf of the Cartwrights. The deal that begun the war that saw everyone in this room reach the current stalemate: watched by police, unable to operate fully due to attacks from other parties. They were all bleeding money. Well, all except the Cartwrights. They were the smallest party in the room but the catalysts for the current trouble. They were making serious cash before Toby up and left. They’d gone practically dormant in the time since. Grey attributed it to the fact that Toby was the brains, and they couldn’t operate successfully without him. I had to agree, but quietly thought it had a lot to do with the fact they’d all just had babies and were shifting their focus, but I didn’t say that out loud.
“Afternoon,” Conway said, taking the seat his security thug pulled out for him like he was a king or something. He looked more like a pimp with his dark receding hairline and 70s porn moustache, accompanied by chunky gold jewellery that disappeared into the thick chest hair that poked out of his business shirt, unbuttoned a couple of buttons too far. The deep V look didn’t suit him at all. In fact, he made my skin crawl.
Leaning back in his seat, Grey folded his hands together and looked at each person in the room individually. “It’s time we discussed peace,” he started.
Breaker scoffed. “We wouldn’t need peace if you hadn’t tried to take somethin’ never meant to be yours,” he said, sniffing as he nodded in acknowledgement towards Conway and his man. “Now you’re cryin’ cause we got you backed into a corner and you know it.”
Grey shrugged. “Backed into a corner? I don’t think so. Those drugs you stole and framed me for were always mine. It was my shipment they confiscated.”
“Finders keepers, old man. We did the work. And it was fuckin’ perfect too. All this trouble came from your own greed. You smuggle anythin’ and everythin’, sell sex and kink without battin’ a fuckin’ eye. You’re a rich man with a massive racket goin’ and you just had to interfere with ours. So yeah, you caused this. Thinkin’ you were so big and untouchable we couldn’t get to you. But we did. So we know you really are in a fuckin’ corner or we wouldn’t be here. Your goods ain’t travellin’ nowhere, and we’re the fallen tree in the middle of your road.”
“Great analogy, baby,” Jasmine noted, patting Breaker on the knee. She looked perfect and unflappable in a soft mauve pantsuit, her hair pulled back in a French roll, eyes sharp.
Grey just smiled as he eyed Breaker. “It’s true I’m experiencing some roadblocks, and from what I understand everything isn’t smooth sailing on your end either, Travis.” Travis? It took me a moment to remember that Travis was Breaker’s real name. I’d read it on Toby’s file when I’d first gone looking for him. I was pretty sure it was incredibly disrespectful to call a biker by their first name instead of their road name.
“The name’s Breaker, old man,” he said, narrowing his hard eyes and confirming my reaction. What is Grey doing? Pissing Breaker off wasn’t going to get this deal sorted. And Breaker looked fucking mean as he glowered across the table. A huge juxtaposition to the man I’d met a few days before.
“What are your terms?” Conway asked, cutting the altercation off before it could go any further. “You wanted to talk peace and swinging dicks about won’t accomplish anything. Spit it out.”
“I propose a merger,” Grey stated as I nodded along as he told me, expecting the words “A compromise” to come out of his mouth.
“Wait.” I stopped nodding toot suite. “What?” I was breaking my word, but he had said nothing about a merger when we discussed this meeting earlier. A merger how?
“A merger how?” Jasmine asked, echoing my thoughts as she craned her neck forwards, tilting her head a little.
“We all have something the other wants. To you”—he turned to Conway—“I can provide access to raw product: a new poppy crop, Australian grown and ready to harvest within the month. In the meantime, I can help lift supply levels via my international contacts and private trade routes.”
“That’s quite an offer,” Conway said, eyes narrowed as his fingers ran across his bushy moustache. “What do you expect from me?”
“Distribution. It’s my understanding the MC is your partner in the East, and various other entities are working the smaller major cities in the o
ther half of the country.”
“Correct.”
“I want my amphetamines distributed along with your opiates: an easily accessible smorgasbord for junkies everywhere. If we work together, we can double our current drug revenue and push out those pesky smaller vendors; dominate supply.”
Conway lifted his brows and exchanged glances with Breaker.
“You know where the MC stands on this.” Breaker left the rest unsaid. I took the comment to mean that the MC had agreed to distribute for Conway, and if Conway changed that deal, they may quit distributing all together. Breaker didn’t have the power to make that decision on his own. He’d need to take it back to the MC for a vote—at least that’s what they did in Sons of Anarchy, anyway. I was still new at this whole crime boss thing.
“What does any of this have to do with us?” Jasmine asked, her arms folded across her chest now as her lips pursed, giving her a restless and annoyed look about her. “My boys want nothing to do with the drug trade.”
“You, madam,” Grey started. “Are here because your family started this war.” There was no kindness in his eyes as he looked at her. “Broken promises. Running between factions and pitting us against each other. Killing messengers, collectors, conspirators. This meeting wouldn’t even be necessary if you’d just kept to your own thieving path. But you strayed onto ours and now you’re somewhat of a problem.”
Breaker growled. “You don’t speak to my woman that way.”
Grey held up a hand and kept talking to Jasmine. “A problem with powerful protectors. Your only true loyalty exists with those you consider family, which is specifically why you’re here. I want your son.” He nodded towards Toby.
“You can’t have him,” Jasmine stated, maintaining her cool. “What kind of stupid truce is that?”
“I don’t want to kill him, Jasmine. I want him to marry my daughter and unite our families—merge our interests.”
“This is not what we discussed!” I hissed, leaning in to keep my voice low. Everyone heard, the echo in the room amplified each word, but I couldn’t just sit there and nod. This wasn’t a part of our deal.
“I made no promises,” Grey hissed, glaring at me, my mind warring with confusion as I fought my anger and tried to recall his words at dinner, realising that he was right. He didn’t make a single fucking promise. “You shut up and you do as I say.”
I gulped as a growl emanated from across the table, originating out of Toby’s chest.
“I’m OK,” I said quickly, reaching across the table to place my hand on his. He flinched slightly, his anger making him jumpy. Then he visibly calm and linked his thumb with my fingers.
Grey took a breath and continued untroubled. “Merging our families merges our business, protects our interests”—he slapped the table with a flat hand—“maintains power. Our children will be the gods of the underground, generations from now we’ll be more powerful than ever.”
“You want my son to inherit your organisation?” Jasmine asked, her brows high on her forehead as she seemed to ingest the meaning behind Grey’s speech.
“That’s exactly what I want. Your son. My daughter. A powerful entity that joins us all.”
Looks were exchanged around the table while Toby met my eyes, a deep longing coupled with untold sadness inside them. “I’ll do it,” he said, his voice so soft I almost didn’t hear him.
While I knew I was expected to say yes and go along with everything, I simply couldn’t stop my mouth from blurting the words, “What? No. No, Toby. This is crazy. You can’t want this.”
“I’ll do it,” he said again.
Grey gripped my thigh under the table and squeezed. Hard. I struggled not to wince.
“Let her go or I swear I’ll kill you right here and this whole thing is off,” Toby growled, his massive frame leaning over the table, ready to attack Grey who smiled and slowly released my thigh.
I looked to Jasmine and Breaker as if they’d be some kind of allies against this deal. But neither of them seemed incensed by the idea at all. If anything, Jasmine looked delighted, like this was the greatest plan she’d ever heard. What the hell is wrong with her? She can’t want this.
“Can I at least speak to him? I’ll do it. But just let me speak to him, please,” I whispered. Grey narrowed his eyes at me, but he kept his hands to himself.
Conway slapped his hands on the table with a loud drumming tap, stealing attention back his way. “Personally, I like the idea. We’re stronger united. I kind of wish I had a son or daughter old enough to add to the mix, but they’re all married with kids already.” He turned to Jasmine and tapped her on the shoulder. “But hey, I hear you have grandkids now. Maybe in eighteen years’ time, we tighten our bond, take over the fucking world.” With a chuckle, he winked and pushed to stand, scraping his chair back. “A marriage merger. It’ll unite the Greys and the Cartwrights which will unite the MC, and in turn, the Conways. I like it. I really do. As for the distribution/supply deal, Brendan, I like that too. Let me run some numbers, chat to some of my people, and I’ll be in touch. But I feel pretty fucking positive about this. All of us joined…” He clapped his hands together and held them in front of him. “We could make magic.” He headed for the door, pausing to place his hand on Jasmine’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze like they were friends or something. “We have a lot to discuss. Set it up with my people when you have more details.” And then he was gone, and I was sitting there wondering if I’d missed something. I thought Conway and Jasmine were on opposite sides?
“Can I talk to you outside?” I said to Toby, taking the opportunity to stand so Grey couldn’t grab my thigh again. I would probably get a beatdown for this, but at this point, I didn’t give a fuck. This marriage was between Toby and me, and I didn’t want him sacrificing his happiness for it. He’d already given up so much.
“What’s to discuss?” Toby said, with a slight bounce of his shoulder. “I’d marry you under any circumstances, Blair.”
In the middle of a crime lord gathering, I swooned. Trying not to cry out and profess my undying love, I moved around the table. “We still need to talk.”
When I touched his arm, my nerve endings sung a poorly written tune about being home. It made my heart happy. I belonged to this man, that much was true. But I needed to be sure that this was what he wanted. I couldn’t stand it if he woke up married with nothing but regret in his heart. There’d be no room for love then.
With a nod, Toby stood and followed me out of the room, his hand on the small of my back as he acted the gentleman even when he had every right to be a total cunt.
“We won’t be long,” I said to the room, catching the daggers directed my way from Grey’s eyes. My stomach flipped. I would definitely pay for speaking out.
Jasmine waited until we stepped through the door before speaking again. “I’ll need more details,” she started. “Exactly what interests are we aligning, and under what capacity will the rest of my family be involved?” Details? What the fuck? She was seriously considering this? I saw how she loved her family just a few nights ago. How the fuck can she be siding with these animals now?
Had I read her all wrong?
* * *
Exiting the room didn’t exactly give us a lot of privacy. We weren’t allowed past the cramped foyer to the meeting room where one of my father’s goons stood in the corner, keeping a watchful eye and listening in.
“You don’t want this life,” I said in a hushed tone that still sounded harsh in the echo.
“You’re right. I don’t. But I want you.” He placed his hands on either side of my face and I wrapped my hands around his wrists. His touch feels so good.
“That’s not good enough. I saw how happy you were when we first met and you’re different here. You don’t have that light in your eyes anymore and I can’t be responsible for removing it. I have to be here. But you don’t. You can say no to this, take Lucy, go back to Wannanup and have that life you’ve always wanted.”
His thumbs moved against my skin. “I can’t do that, Blair. My life isn’t anywhere unless it’s with you.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “Toby,” I whispered, struggling with my emotions. “Please. Let me do this for you.”
“Blair.” Leaning in, he kissed me tenderly, not caring that a security goon was watching our every move. “Just say yes,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine, before kissing my cheek and whispering into my ear. “None of this matters.” He moved and kissed my forehead, moving to my right ear. “Just be ready. Tonight.”
He’s coming for me?
Pulling back, he lowered his hands to my shoulders, fingers brushing the skin on my neck. I had so many questions as I looked into his eyes, but I couldn’t ask any. I couldn’t even show my joy, or my concern. I just had to keep an impassive expression and hope Toby knew what he was doing. I trust him.
“You’re mine, right?” he said, trying to convey more than just those words I was sure.
Clearly remembering the moment I promised myself to him, I nodded.
That means you do as I say.
It means you let me protect you.
“I’m yours,” I whispered, swallowing hard.
“Then say yes, sunshine.”
“OK.” I nodded. “Yes.”
Forever yes.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Not Weakness
After Toby and I agreed to the marriage offer Grey had pushed for, the meeting concluded with an assurance they’d all meet within the week to ‘hash out the details’. Jasmine was so convincing in her role, accepting Grey’s offer with greed in her eyes, a sense of power and everything. I had to wonder if it was an act or if it was a reality. Did she know Toby planned to come for me? Or was he keeping her in the dark and her reaction today was real? And if that was the case, could she happily marry her son off for the sake of her own personal gain? The idea boggled my mind as I tried to align the Jasmine I’d first met with the woman in that meeting today. They looked the same, but her concern for her family was gravely different. Surely it was a farce?
Fool’s Paradise: Cartwright Brothers, Book 5 Page 21