“Okay, I’ll load Ivy up and see if I can find some snacks to pack while you dry off and get changed.”
I hurried inside and straight to my room. My clothes weren’t a problem. I’d expected to spend the weekend lounging around the house by myself, so all I’d packed were yoga pants, tees and a hoodie. I swapped the pair of cotton shorts I had on for the yoga pants and grabbed a dry shirt, and the hoodie just in case.
The only shoes I had with me were flip flops, so I darted upstairs and raided Sadie’s closet for a pair of old athletic shoes that looked like they would be good for a long hike. I wasn’t sure what the recommended footwear was on a hike, but I hoped these would do even if they weren’t meant for hiking.
Shit, I wasn’t exactly meant for hiking or the great outdoors. I’d never been on a hike in my life, but I was willing to do just about anything to spend the day with Chris. I had a feeling it would be worth it.
And boy was I right.
I didn’t know days could be so perfect, but that’s exactly what today was. I’d never seen the appeal of nature and hiking before, but it was definitely something I planned to take up in the future, and it wasn’t just about Chris. It was beautiful and peaceful and the only thing I had to worry about was not tripping and falling on my ass.
Chris informed me that the trails around there were classified as moderate, and even though I wasn’t out of shape, it was exhausting. Ivy would run ahead of us and then come bounding back. Occasionally we would stop and throw sticks for her if we were in an open spot. We passed very few other hikers out there, so it was almost like we were the only two people in that part of the world.
All of my stress and troubles just seemed to disappear as Chris and I walked and talked about the most random stuff. Conversation flowed easily between us, which I hadn’t expected. I’d thought I would by awkward and nervous around him, but he had a way of relaxing me with his easy going nature.
Some of the views at the top of points we climbed to were absolutely breathtaking. I’d never felt that way about nature stuff before, just taking for granted that all this beauty was here. I’d never taken the time to really look or enjoy it, but Chris had a way of opening my eyes and making me appreciate what was right in front of me.
By the time we returned to the house that evening, my legs were pleasantly sore, my belly was starving and I was hoping for a hundred more days like today, like this whole weekend.
Chapter 11
Chris
“Shit, shit, shit!”
I laughed as I watched Mia panicking and cursing over the pot on the stove as it sizzled and steamed in her face. She quickly turned the knob, shutting off the burner, and turned her attention back to the second pan on the stove that was currently smoking.
I tried to stifle the laughter as I walked over to rescue her. “Having troubles?’ I asked her.
She looked up at me pathetically. “I think I burnt dinner.”
I eyed the clump of rice stuck to the bottom of one pan and then the chicken that had been cremated in the second pan. “I think you did more than burn it, Mia,” I chuckled. “What happened? I thought you said you knew what you were doing.”
“Well, obviously I lied,” she huffed.
“Obviously,” I mused.
“I can’t cook for shit,” she admitted, defeated. “I just thought it would be nice if I made you dinner for letting me stay here and taking me on the hike. Chicken and rice sounded easy enough. I don’t know what went wrong.”
“How much water did you put in the pot of rice?” I asked her, grabbing the large box and looking at the back.
“Uh, I don’t know, I just put some in the pan and then dumped in the rice.”
I laughed, “Well, I hate to break it to you, but it looks like you put in twice the amount of rice for the amount of water you had, and you turned it up too high and boiled out most of it.”
“Oh. Oops.”
“It also looks like you didn’t put enough oil in the pan with the chicken and turned that up too high as well.”
She looked at me sheepishly, “I was supposed to put oil in the pan?”
I shook my head, “You are a hazard in the kitchen, Mia. Go sit down and turn something on. I’ll find something to make for us.”
“Sorry?” She looked up at me with pitiful eyes as she bit her lip around a goofy half-smile.
“Yeah, yeah. You know, if you didn’t look so pathetic when I walked in here to rescue you from this catastrophe, I might think you planned to poison me with this inedible mess.”
“I must have skipped my cooking lessons to play video games instead. It’s too bad you didn’t do the same. Then you might actually be able to beat me,” she teased and bounced off in the direction of the living room.
“Watch yourself, Mia, or you might just go hungry tonight.”
I heard her soft, airy laughter and couldn’t stop my lips from curling up into a smile. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had such ridiculous fun just hanging out with someone. It should have felt weird that it was Mia, but oddly it didn’t. Spending time with her these past two days was not the hassle I’d expected. When she was just herself, no alcohol and nobody that she was trying too hard to please or impress, she was funny, sweet and bad ass at video games. Not at all the high maintenance diva she came across as sometimes. Laid back Mia was great. A little too great. And definitely trouble. For me and my peace of mind.
It was bad enough that it was impossible to ignore how devastatingly pretty she was, but Mia in a wet t-shirt . . .
I had to shake my head. That rigged sink was the stupidest prank I’ve ever pulled, not because it wasn’t hilarious or didn’t get her good. Because it was, and it did, but then she’d turned around in that thin little slip of a shirt all plastered to the front of her and I’d had to mentally restrain my eyes to keep them from going there.
Then, like an idiot, I went and did it again with the damned hose. Obviously I hadn’t learned my lesson the first time. Yep, that girl was trouble and in ways she didn’t even know.
I don’t know what I’d been thinking inviting her on the hike earlier, or if I’d even been thinking at all. I just knew that being around this Mia, the real Mia, was not a hardship at all, and I’d wanted her to go. I hadn’t been ready to cut off our time together. That had nothing to do with how good she looked wet.
This was dangerous. Mia was dangerous, and my head began to fill with reasons why forming any sort of friendship with her wasn’t right. Getting close to her was flat-out wrong. Regardless of how fun and sweet Mia was underneath all the other shit you had to see through to get to her, it didn’t change all that other shit. She was still a troubled kid in a difficult place in her life.
I knew she could get through it all, because the fire in her had also come out this weekend. I’d seen moments of strength and determination in her. She could be fierce when she wanted to, I just didn’t think she knew it. I didn’t think she knew who she really was.
Just from the glimpses I’d caught when she let her walls down, I knew that the day she finally figured it out, figured out what was inside her, the world better be ready for it, because she was going to be a force to be reckoned with. And when that happened, she was going to knock some lucky bastard off his feet, and if he was smart, he’d do everything he could to get back up and sweep her off hers. And hang onto her, because when you got something like that in your life, you did not let it go. You cherished it and protected it. And Mia deserved all that. It just wasn’t for me to be the one to give it to her.
Knowing that, it wasn’t fair to her to let this thing go any further when I knew she was emotionally vulnerable and harboring some kind of feelings for me. That was only too obvious in the way she watched me, the looks and smiles she couldn’t hide. The ones that made something in my chest swell up just a little, every single time. The ones that I wanted to hang on to, but weren’t mine to keep.
She was also Sadie’s little sister and I knew how inappropriate
it would look to everyone if Mia and I spent any more time together. Not to mention what Katrina would think of it.
Katrina. My girlfriend. Who I cared a lot about.
I shouldn’t have had to remind myself of that fact, and yet, except for the few times she’d called or texted me, I hadn’t been thinking about her nearly as much as I should have been. It wasn’t fair to Katrina that I was enjoying time with another girl, no matter how innocent I wanted to believe that time was. Over the last two days, I’d found myself having thoughts like wishing Katrina enjoyed playing video games with me, or that she’d at least try them once in a while instead of complaining every time I turned my game system on. I’d also wondered how she would react to some of the pranks I’d played on Mia, if she would take them as well as Mia had, dishing it right back.
Those thoughts weren’t healthy or fair to anyone. It wasn’t right for me to compare the two girls, or fault Katrina for being who she was. I knew all too well what it felt like when someone important in your life wanted to change you into something else. I wouldn’t do that to her, but I also realized as I stood in the kitchen, cooking dinner for me and Mia, that I couldn’t stay here with her anymore because of the affect she was having on me.
I stirred the Spaghetti noodles, satisfied that they were done. Then I drained the water from the pan and popped open a jar of sauce, dumping it into the small pan. I found some veggies and lettuce in the fridge and pulled them out to mix up salads, and tried to tell myself it wasn’t disappointment I was feeling because of the decision I’d made.
I served Mia her food in the living room, dropping onto the couch with my own plate and salad. I’d made up my mind that after dinner I would tell her something came up and ask her if she was okay watching Ivy through tomorrow. I had a key to Katrina’s, so I could crash there and come back tomorrow night after Mia returned to her dorm, and stay until Ace and Sadie came home Monday.
“Thanks for dinner, this is really good.”
“No problem.”
She stood and set her dish aside, disappearing in to the kitchen and returning with two glasses of milk. She set one down in front of me.
“Oh thanks,” I said, realizing I’d forgotten to get us anything to drink.
She just smiled and returned to her food.
It was funny; now that I’d decided to leave to prevent any misunderstandings or awkwardness between us, things felt awkward in a way they hadn’t before. My awareness of Mia had changed, and with it so had my ability to relax around her.
She’s just Mia.
Just Mia.
That didn’t help because I’d gotten to know ‘just Mia’ enough that it only made me want to know more. And once something, or someone, gets in your head, it’s hard to get them out. I didn’t know how to get Mia out. Maybe because I didn’t know how the fuck she’d gotten in to begin with. She’d snuck up on me.
She wasn’t supposed to be like this. She wasn’t supposed to catch me off guard and flip every notion I had of her. It would be so much easier if I could still just see her as Mia, Sadie’s troubled, aggravating, but slightly endearing little sister.
She’d stopped being endearing right around the time she handed me my ass with an Xbox controller and then taunted me.
We finished eating and then Mia offered to clean up the kitchen. I should have taken that opportunity to tell her I was going, but I put it off. I told myself that one more hour wouldn’t make a difference. I didn’t relish the idea of walking into Katrina’s empty apartment. She always offered for me to stay there when she was away, but I had never felt comfortable. As much time as I spent there, I could never bring myself to think of it as our place even though Katrina referred to it that way. In my mind it was still her place.
Mia rejoined me from the kitchen, settling in to finish the movie she’d turned on while I made dinner. I made no move to leave, deciding just to stay through the end of the movie. Sometime between the car chase in the middle and the final fight scene, my eyes drifted shut and I fell asleep. When they popped back open a while later, the movie was over and I was alone in the living room. The sound drifting down into the living room told me exactly where Mia was and what she was up to.
I followed the noise up the stairs and to the closed door of the music room. With the light soundproofing Ace had done, the beat coming through the door was soft, but as soon as I pushed the door open I was blasted with the awful racket and one of the funniest, and if I was completely honest with myself, sexiest sights I’d ever laid eyes on.
Mia was sitting behind my drum kit in just her damn tiny shorts and tiny tank, sticks in hand, wailing on the drums. Arms flying, head banging, hair flipping all over the place, and her foot was just going to town on the kick drum. It was complete and utter chaos. No timing or rhythm or anything that actually resembled music. It actually hurt my soul a little, and made my ears want to bleed, hearing that jangled clash and clamor coming from my babies. Still, I could have stood there all damn night watching her let loose.
She had yet to look up and see me standing in the doorway. She was so completely lost in her wild drumming, and although I couldn’t understand the noise she was creating, I understood the feeling. She was letting go of everything, she was completely free, unrestrained, an intense explosion of movement, and I was fucking enthralled by it.
In that moment, I felt so fucking in sync with her that it was scary. She looked exactly how I felt every time I picked up my sticks, like there was just something inside of her that she desperately needed to get out, and that was the only way to release it. Unlike Mia, I had the skill and knowledge to turn it into something people actually wanted to hear, but still, it felt like I could have been watching myself play.
I’m not sure how long I stood there watching her, before her hands finally stilled and she glanced over, breathing heavy, limbs drained and weary with exhaustion because she’d just poured every fucking thing out. I knew that feeling too.
“Oh, hi. Sorry if I woke you up, and for uh –” she set the sticks down and stood. “I shouldn’t have touched your drums. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Looked like you needed that.”
“Uh, yeah,” she chuckled lightly. “Maybe I did. Just sorry you had to hear it. Sadie didn’t leave much musical talent in the gene pool for me.”
I laughed, “That’s alright. Sometimes the music isn’t about the music. It’s just about getting something inside of you out.” I shifted uncomfortably, realizing now more than ever, I needed to get away from Mia, because she was so much more than “just Mia”, or ‘just’ anything. Every real, honest little bit of herself that she exposed to me, drew me in deeper. I needed space between us. A lot of space. Entire rooms and walls and houses and streets and miles between us to stop these thoughts that were barreling down on me.
“Feel free to mess around with whatever, but you break it, you buy it,” I teased, and then took my chance to get out of there. “I uh, something’s come up at Katrina’s and I need to head over there for the night. Will you be alright here with Ivy until I can come back sometime tomorrow?”
“Oh.” That one word said a lot. It was heavy with disappointment. All the more reason for me to go and go now. “ Sure, that’s fine. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything is fine. Let me give you my number just in case something comes up here though.” She held her phone out to me. I took it, entering my number and then handed it back to her. “Okay, well goodnight Mia.”
“Night, Chris.” I left her standing there and went to gather a few things from my room and grab my keys.
“Be a good girl,” I told Ivy, who was close on my heels, as I made my way out the door, locking up behind me.
It unsettled me just how detached I felt when I walked into Katrina’s place. Nothing about it felt like returning home. I flicked on a light, illuminating the sleek and elegantly decorated space. Some of my things that I kept here were scattered about, but I felt almost nothing for this place. No a
ttachment or warmth. I spent my time here because Katrina was here, but that was it. What did it say about me and our relationship that I had no desire to move in here with her?
The thought of it actually made panic claw at my insides a bit. I knew on some level that I shouldn’t feel that way, and the fact that I did, said a lot more than I was willing to accept. Excuses and reasons to justify my feelings poured forth in my mind. We’d barely been dating six months, and with the amount each of us traveled it felt more like half that. A lot of couples didn’t move in together after so short of time. I cared about her, deeply. We complemented each other and understood one another. We were both independent people and we didn’t hold each other back in our careers. I respected and admired her greatly. Our ambitions, drive and desires made us very compatible.
I was making more out of this than I needed to. I was happy with Katrina. She was good for me. Those were all the things I needed to remember and focus on. I slipped my phone from my pocket and sent her a quick text.
Miss you. Hope everything is going well with the shoot. Can’t wait until you’re back.
Her reply came only seconds later.
Miss you too. Wish you were here. Everything is going smoothly and I’ll be home soon. Then you can show me just how much you missed me ;)
Just reading her words wasn’t enough to reassure my doubts or alleviate the unease in the pit of my stomach. I needed to hear her voice. I pressed call and waited while it rang with a Top 40 pop hit that was so overplayed I dreaded hearing it every time I had to call her. Thankfully she answered right away.
“Hey baby.” Her voice was smooth and silky with just a slight rasp. Katrina was all class and sophisticated sensuality, and with two little words, she managed to reaffirm everything I knew and had been telling myself since I left Mia. Katrina and I were good together, she was right for me in so many ways.
“Hey,” was all I said back, earning a soft chuckle.
“Did you need something Chris, or did you just call to hear my voice?”
Saving Ever After (Ever After #4) Page 10