I was also a little excited, and I couldn’t deny that some of that excitement was due to the possibility that Chris could be there tonight. I knew it wasn’t healthy to let myself become so wrapped up in him, but with a guy like that, there are just some things you can’t help, and as much as I knew it was wrong, I wanted to be all wrapped up in him. Every day I became more convinced that he was all I would ever want.
When we were gaming together, there was nothing else. For a short time we were in that world, and I didn’t have to share him with Katrina or anyone else. I felt like that Chris, was my Chris, even if it was only a small part of him. And that Mia was who I wanted to be all the time, and she was his. I was completely his, at least for a little while.
Outside of those moments I treasured, I’d done a good job of keeping myself out of trouble. I finally felt like I was finding a balance that worked for me between focusing on school and having a social life, and surprisingly, but maybe for the best, it didn’t really include Jillian’s group. I hadn’t even talked to her much since learning that they were into harder stuff than alcohol. We texted occasionally and she came by my room sometimes when I wasn’t in class, but if I wasn’t studying or preoccupied with thoughts of Chris, I was usually hanging out with the other Kris. Most of the time, I was doing more than one, or all of those things.
Neither Jill nor Kris bothered to hide their dislike of each other, and Jillian was being almost competitive about who I spent my time with, so it was no surprise that two minutes after I got back from lunch, she was there, knocking on my door.
“Hey hooker, where have you been?” she asked when I pulled it open.
“I was at lunch with my sister,” I told her, letting her into my room.
“We haven’t hung out in weeks. You’re always with my cousin,” she said it almost accusingly.
“I guess we’ve sort of become friends.” I didn’t tell her that by sort of, I meant that we’d pretty much become attached at the hip. He regularly showed up at my dorm to drag me off to the fitness center, or the library to study with him. We ate lunch or dinner together at least a few times a week, some weeks it was almost every day.
She’d been more than a little bitter since she found out I took him to a Halloween party she hadn’t been invited to. Imagine if she found out who’d thrown that party. I really didn’t want to hurt her feelings more and make her think that I was blowing off our friendship for Kris, even though I kind of was, but I didn’t get into trouble with him like I did when I partied with Jillian, and that was all she ever wanted to do.
“Well there’s a great party tonight going on at one of the frats. You’ve got to go with us.” Case in point.
“Wish I could,” I lied, “but I have to babysit tonight.”
“Babysit? Who the hell do you know in Boston with kids?”
“One of my sister’s best friends. I promised her so that she and her husband could have a date night.”
“Boo. Lame.” I doubted she would be saying that if I told her I was watching Kyden McCabe’s kid. She’d probably pee herself, and then she’d beg me to introduce her to the band and that would be a nightmare, which is why I just shrugged.
“Sorry.”
“Whatever. Text me tomorrow. Maybe we can do something then. Have fun babysitting.”
She let herself out, and I didn’t bother to tell her that tomorrow night I already had plans to go to Kris’ hockey game. It would be the first game I was able to make it to, so there was no way I was passing it up.
That reminded me that Kris and I had tentatively said we might get together tonight. We hadn’t made definite plans, it was just sort of assumed that if we both had nothing going on, we’d end up hanging out. He always said it was because he was taking pity on me and that if he didn’t get me out, he was afraid I would shut myself in my room listening to Ashes and Embers and pining for Chris. He wasn’t entirely off base.
I texted him to let him know I wouldn’t be around, but that he wasn’t getting out of the League of Legends tutorial he’d agreed to. If he was going to make me work out all the time with him, I was going to make him game with me.
When Kris texted back asking what my plans were, I told him exactly who I was babysitting for.
“Don’t let that baby choke on anything or you’ll be all over the news for killing America’s favorite baby,” was what he texted back. As if I wasn’t already nervous enough, but now I was thinking about all of the things a baby could choke on, and it was true that America had fallen in love with Abel. Jaxyn and Ky were “the couple” right now, even if they tried to stay out of the spotlight.
I texted back, Asshole, and then started getting stuff ready to head to Sadie’s. I grabbed my laptop and books just in case I got a chance to study. In reality I knew I probably wouldn’t do any studying, but my intentions were good. That counted right?
Chapter 17
Chris
The knock at the door alerted me that my brother was a few minutes earlier than I’d planned. I pulled it open, expecting to see him and Lissa, but was surprised to find Jax and Ky with Abel instead. “I’m watching this guy too?” I asked, slightly concerned that I was going to be responsible for two babies. I wasn’t quite sure I could handle that.
“Nope, Mia is watching Abel here tonight,” Jax said. She and Ky stepped inside and it took me a second to wrap my head around what she’d said and close the door.
Mia.
Mia was going to be here tonight. Just thinking her name caused a smile to tug at the corners of my lips.
“If you’re going to be around, I expect you’ll give her a hand if she needs any help?” Jax smiled and watched me in that all too perceptive way of hers. She’d caught the smile that I hadn’t been able to hide at the mention of Mia’s name. Reflexively I looked away and blanked my expression and then wished I hadn’t. That was more of a tell than the smile itself. I was acting like I had some dirty secret. I didn’t. Despite my reservations, a friendship was forming between me and Mia, but that was all. There was nothing wrong with looking forward to seeing a friend, I told myself. I had no reason to try and hide my smile or be afraid to meet Jax’s curious gaze.
“Yeah, of course I’ll help out,” I said, holding out my arms to Ky for Abel. “I’m going to be watching Abby anyway.” Ky handed the little man over and Jax smiled.
“Oh, Bas is bringing her here?”
“Yeah, should be here sometime soon,” I said, bouncing Abel up and down a little in my arms. “I think Ace and Sadie are still getting ready upstairs.” I led them into the living room to wait for everyone else.
My night had improved significantly with the news that Mia would be here. I was anxious to ask her if she’d had many chances to try out her new assassin on League of Legends while I’d been in California last week. I couldn’t deny that lately I’d been finding more time to log into my account, which had been pretty inactive this past year, and that had everything to do with my growing friendship with her.
She was also the only person I knew who would be as excited as I was for an upcoming game I’d gotten to test out while I was in California. The company was getting ready to shoot some promos for the release later this year, and sent the game to our manager in hopes that we would consider being a part of the advertising campaign. Mia and I had talked about this game weeks ago, and she would lose her shit when I told her I’d already played it.
The rest of the guys had their games that they enjoyed so they’d thought it was pretty cool, but they hadn’t been nearly as excited as I was to get my hands on this particular RPG. They didn’t get how huge it was and how much gamers around the world were anticipating this release. Mia would get it, and then she would grill me for every detail of the game.
Jax set Abel’s diaper bag down beside the couch and then turned to me again.
“I’m glad you’ll be here with Abby, I think Mia is pretty nervous to watch Abel.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine.” I grabbed Abel’
s tiny hand and grinned at the little guy. “You won’t give us any trouble, will ya?” He just wrapped his hand around one of my fingers, tugging on it.
Mia arrived a few minutes later, and her demeanor when she walked in did appear slightly anxious, but she didn’t hide her smile when she spotted me with Abel in my arms.
That smile . . .
Just fuck. I hoped Jax missed that one.
I handed him off to her and Jax started showing her how to hold him and burp him and where everything in the diaper bag was. Mia listened intently, taking it all in, seeming to relax only slightly.
Babies weren’t a completely new thing for me. I had enough cousins that it seemed like someone was always having a baby in our family, and there were dozens of them running or crawling around at family gatherings.
When Bas and Lissa arrived with my niece just a few minutes later, I gladly took her while listening to Lissa give almost the exact same spiel Jax had just given to Mia. By the time all four parents were convinced that their babies were in capable hands, and Ace and Sadie had come down, we were almost shoving them out the door.
“What did we get ourselves into?” I asked Mia, chuckling.
“It’ll be fun. I think.” She smiled back. Just then Abby started crying and that set Abel off as well. “Okay, maybe not.”
Fun really might not have been the right word. Interesting, entertaining, exhausting. Those were all better choices. After feeding and burping them they were in much better moods, but they didn’t stay that way.
We spread out a large blanket on the floor and laid them both down with a few of their toys. That only kept them entertained for about ten minutes. Nothing held their attention for very long. They were both more interested in staring at each other and communicating with their strange noises. They were also fascinated by Ivy, who was equally fascinated by them. She would circle around them, and then nudge them with her nose, inciting a chorus of what I think were baby giggles.
Neither baby could crawl, but that didn’t stop them from reaching out and trying to tug on her fur and tail. Then I think Ivy decided that they were her puppies because she didn’t want to leave their sides. She did a better job of keeping them happy than Mia or I did, which is why things started going downhill when I had to put her outside to do her business.
Abel really didn’t like that, and if one of them started crying, it immediately brought on the waterworks from the other. So once again we had two wailing babies. Mia got down on the floor with them and started playing peek-a-boo. I think I was more amused by it than they were, but at least they stopped crying. They just stared up at her like she was some kind of strange creature. Then Mia must have made a face they didn’t like, because they both started crying again.
“Here, you take him, and I’ll get her. Let’s see if we can get them to fall asleep,” I told her, scooping Abby up and heading toward the stairs. I took her up to the music room and sat down at the piano. I cradled her in my lap, gently rocking her with one arm, and used my free hand to play around on the keys. She liked that a lot. I wasn’t nearly as talented as Sadie or Ky on the piano, but I could play pretty well, even one handed. Eventually, the soft lullabies put her to sleep and I carried her back downstairs, pausing at the bottom of the stairs when I heard music coming from behind the closed door of Mia’s room. In my head that room was now officially hers. I cocooned Abby in her blanket like Lissa had showed me and laid her on the couch, then went to check out the noise. It certainly wasn’t a lullaby. There was nothing soothing or mellow about it.
I opened the door to the room and a smile split my face at the sight of Mia jumping on the bed and dancing to the music with Abel in her arms.
“So much for putting him to sleep,” I said loud enough for her to hear me over Pharell’s Happy.
She turned, still jumping and just grinned. “He wasn’t having that. He decided this would be more fun.”
“He decided?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, well I decided, but he’s having a great time. Don’t you ever just want to crank the music and jump on the bed?”
“Not since I was like six,” I told her.
“Then you’re missing out. Come on, get up here.” The bed was plenty big enough, but I wasn’t about to start jumping on it.
“I don’t think so. It would probably break.”
She looked at Abel, “Tell Uncle Chris not to be a party pooper and to get his butt up here.” Abel made some kind of noise and Mia looked at me triumphantly. “Ha! Now you have to come jump with us. Abel just said so.”
“I’m pretty sure that was actually a cry for help.”
“Whatever. Get up here. You know you want to. I can see how jealous you are that we’re having fun.”
“I left Abby lying on the couch. She shouldn’t be out there by herself.”
“Chris! Get your ass up here. She’ll be fine while you jump with us for two minutes. She can’t even roll over yet and with the door open we’ll hear her if she cries.”
I shook my head, but stepped up onto the bed, bouncing lightly to the music, which had switched to I love Rock and Roll.
“That’s not jumping. Come on Chris, jump! Think about all those times your mom or dad probably told you to quit jumping on your bed and just go for it.”
I laughed, but started jumping in earnest, feeling only slightly like an idiot. I was twenty-six and jumping on the bed like a little kid. Mia smiled approvingly and then started twirling and dancing again, singing at the top of her lungs, all the while Abel grinned and squealed in her arms.
“You do this a lot?” I asked her when we climbed off the bed and shut the music off.
“Sometimes,” she replied casually, and I followed her out to the living room, where Abby was still sleeping soundly right where I’d left her. After a little while of rocking Abel, Mia had him out too.
“Now let’s just hope they stay that way.” She laid him down on the opposite end of the couch so we could attempt to set up the pack ‘n’ play bed thing Jax had brought for Abel to sleep in. It was actually pretty big and both babies could easily lay in there. It was also simpler to set up than it looked. I only had to fumble around with it for a few minutes before it was up. Mia filled it with blankets, and then very carefully we moved the sleeping babies.
The only times they woke up after that were to have their diapers changed and to be fed. Thankfully after feeding, they were both right back out.
“So do you think you’ll have kids one day?” Mia asked me when we were sitting there, eating pizza and watching Tv while they slept.
“Oh, uh, yeah. At least, I want to someday.”
She nodded. “So you don’t think you’re there yet?”
“No,” I laughed. “Definitely not. Right now I just want to be able to focus on the music, and enjoy this point in my life. I know Ky and Ace are really happy and wouldn’t give up Jax or Sadie for anything, but I also know it takes a toll on them, the travelling and being away from their girls all the time. And now that Ky and Jax have Abel, it’s even harder. For him it’s worth it because he loves the music, but he loves his family more. Ace feels the same about Sadie. I still feel like, at this point, my music – my drums – are the love of my life. In a way they were my first love, and now that I’m getting to do what I’ve always wanted, I just want to appreciate that for a while, before I start splitting my priorities.”
“That makes sense,” she said and then looked at me hesitantly before asking, “So you don’t think Katrina is the love of your life?”
I didn’t answer her at first, not because I wasn’t sure of my answer, but because I was.
No.
It rang out clear as day in my head.
“I’m sorry if that was too personal. It’s none of my business.”
“No, it’s alright. I just, don’t know. I guess Katrina and I have been together for almost eight months and maybe I should know, but we spend so much time apart, and it just hasn’t felt like we’re headed in th
at direction.” I don’t know why I told her that. It was the first time I’d admitted out loud what I’d been feeling for a while. For the first time since Katrina and I had started dating, I was really giving our future some thought, and when I did, I didn’t see marriage and kids in it. I didn’t see anything more than this casual thing we’d been doing.
That was alright in the beginning, when we both just wanted to focus on our careers, but I felt like after eight months we should both want more, but we didn’t even talk about more. Hell, neither of us was even very sentimental. We didn’t talk about us really at all or how we felt about each other.
We weren’t the type of couple that had to call each other every day when we were apart. Sometimes we could go three or four days without talking when one or both of us was out of town for our jobs. I’d never thought that was a big deal, until I thought of Ky who would lose his damn mind if he didn’t get to hear Jax’s voice every day. I didn’t feel that, and I was seeing how significant all these little things might actually be.
It wasn’t something I wanted to think about right now and it definitely wasn’t something I needed to be talking to Mia about, so I turned the question around on her. “What about you? Do you want to have kids?”
“Yeah, I do. I think I want three or four. But not all girls,” she quickly added at the end.
I laughed, “Are you trying to say something about having sisters?”
She sighed, “That many girls . . . it’s hard. There’s too much competitiveness and drama, and issues with jealousy. At least in our house there was.”
“But you and Sadie are really close.”
“Yeah, we are and I think that worked because of the age gap. We weren’t going through our teenage years together. I was still young when she left. With the twins, I always felt like I was being compared to them, and they always left me out or excluded me from things. And I know they resented Sadie sometimes for her independence, for not living to please Mom even though they made their own choices. They were treated differently. My mom favored them, and I hated that. Growing up, Sadie and I were a team and Cait and Leila were a team, but it shouldn’t have been like that. It shouldn’t have been sisters on different sides. Even now, there’s this huge wall between me and them and things are strained.”
Saving Ever After (Ever After #4) Page 16