by Rinelle Grey
Jasyn wasn't anyone for her to admire or care about.
So why did the thought of harm coming to him cause her stomach to tie itself in knots? Why had it caused her to send her best warrior to his rescue? Why was she looking for a way to protect him from Mugos’s wrath?
She might survive Mugos’s chastisement, surely she had enough years of loyal service to buy her some security. She might get away with a demotion and a beating. But Jasyn had done nothing for the trolls. Ever. Mugos would think nothing of killing him for compromising the raid.
Kriss heaved a sigh. Her footsteps slowed and the snowflakes swirled around her, settling on her armour. Jasyn was such a gentle, caring troll. He didn’t deserve to die for what he had done.
His vulnerable and honest nature touched a chord in her. His belief in a good and just world, where there was a rational explanation for everything, stirred a longing in her heart. It reminded her of the time when she was a young troll at her mother’s knee, protected from the harsh realities of life.
She scowled.
That had been an illusion. Soon enough, her mother’s belly had grown large with her next baby and there had been no more room on her knee for Kriss. She'd been pushed down onto the floor to walk and fight on her own.
With five older brothers, it was either learn to fight or starve. That was the reality of life. There were no good and just outcomes. Only strength and fighting. That was all you could rely on.
The sooner Jasyn learned that, the better.
For him. It made no difference to her.
*****
When the medic said to go home, Jasyn’s feet obeyed her without thinking. He didn’t want to think at all. A numbness invaded every part of him.
He was so tired he wanted to sleep for a week, but he suspected that nightmares of this evening’s events would keep him up for many nights to come.
Trudging back to his tent, he pushed aside the flap and let it fall behind him. He stared around the room, barely seeing it, yet aware of all the memories it held.
The tent was tiny, barely room for the pile of furs he slept in and his one chair, but he didn’t need much room. It was hard to believe that once he, Yass, and their mother had all fitted in here. Since their mother had died a few years ago and Yass had moved out to live with Uma, he had it all to himself. With the gaps in the furs repaired many times over, it did its job of keeping out the cold and giving him the privacy he craved.
Normally, he felt warm and safe in here. But not tonight. Tonight he didn’t feel warm or safe anywhere. He wasn’t sure if he ever would again. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was blood and death.
A shiver ran through him.
He found himself sitting on the furs, though he didn’t remember moving or sitting down. He looked down at his hands, staring blankly at the object they held.
A book. Where had it come from? Why was he holding it?
On the front of the leather cover, an inscription read: The Founding of Eryvale.
Eryvale. That must be the human village.
The blank eyes of the old man seemed to stare at him out of the darkness and Jasyn’s hands trembled. He lit the lantern hanging on the wall with magic, hoping the light would banish the image. But it remained, haunting him.
Desperate for any distraction, he opened the book and began to read.
We will keep the peace.
Whatever it takes.
No one wants to see a battle like that one again.
As though death had brought them the clarity they had lacked in life, the twin brides infused their magic into their marriage gems. That magic extended out and contained most of the backlash. But not enough.
In time, the memory of this will fade from the surrounding towns and, as long as we keep to the treaty, they will continue to trade with us.
We won’t forget though.
We will remember how easily a personal choice can affect those around us. How easily love can turn to jealousy.
They will remember it too. Both the lover and his supporters who have gone over the ridge, cursed as trolls, and the husband who ran the other way. Their hatred is strong and it will endure.
But we will stand in the middle, at the one point where they can cross to each other, and keep them apart.
The twins may be dead, but the twin gems will protect this village. No magic can be used within it, save by those who hold one of the gems. And the gems lie with the twins who created them, may they rest in peace.
No magical fighting shall occur within this village. People here must solve their problems with words.
Magic brought them together, and magic tore them apart. May this shield protect us, and them, from the men who destroyed them.
Jasyn turned the page, but the rest of the book was simply a record of crops grown, buildings constructed, as well as death, birth, and marriage records.
He flipped back to the first page and stared at it.
The whole story made no sense. He couldn’t work out what the twins and the husband and lover meant, but what really stood out to him was one line. Cursed as trolls.
Did it mean that the trolls hadn’t always been trolls? That they had once been… humans?
The thought was unbelievable.
But if it was true…
“What do you think you’re doing, rushing off like that? I have some words to say to you.”
Kriss’s strident voice filled his tent, as she pushed through the tent flap without waiting for permission.
“Losi said to go home.” Jasyn's defence was automatic.
“And it didn't occur to you that you might need permission from me as well?”
“I… I didn't think.” Jasyn stammered.
“No, you didn’t. That seems pretty typical of your behaviour tonight. You didn't think before sounding off at the feast, you didn't think about defending yourself in the human village, and you certainly didn't think about doing your job and actually bringing back some food. Thanks to you, one of my best warriors is dead and his sacrifice has been in vain because we don't have enough food to last until the next raid.”
Kriss stared at him, her hands on her hips. She was clearly expecting a response.
What sort of response, he wasn't sure. “I'm sorry,” Jasyn said quietly. “Nothing can make up for the loss of anybody who died tonight.” The old man’s eyes haunted him. “That's why we need to stop this fighting. No one benefits from it. There has to be a better way.”
“Haven’t you learned anything?” Kriss demanded. “You can't talk to the humans. You can't reason with them. They just want to kill us. The only way to survive is to kill them first.”
“They're fighting for their life, just like us,” Jasyn said slowly. “Of course, it makes sense.”
“No, it doesn't. They're nothing like us. We fight because we need food. Without it, we won't survive. They fight for fun. Even in between raids, lone warriors come over the ridge to attack us. We are nothing like them.”
“Actually, we are them. We were once human, just like they are.”
The thought was still so hard to believe, even though it made perfect sense.
Kriss scowled. “Talking nonsense won't make up for what you did.”
Jasyn felt a pang of guilt for what had happened tonight. But maybe it didn't have to be for nothing. If he could convince the trolls that they could make peace with the humans, then maybe no more trolls would have to die.
But first, he needed to convince Kriss.
He held the book out to her. “I found this on the body of an old man. It’s about the human village. It’s kind of cryptic, but it seems to say that we were once human and someone put a curse on us to make us like this.”
Kriss frowned. Then she pulled his head towards her and began feeling through his hair.
Jasyn was so surprised it took him a few moments to react. He jerked his head back, out of her reach. “What are you doing?”
“A head wound is dangerous if it isn't t
reated quickly. I can't believe Losi didn't check you more thoroughly.”
“A head wound? I don't have a… Oh, you think..?” Jasyn laughed. “I haven't hit my head. I’m serious. Read the book.”
Kriss looked at him suspiciously. “You'd better come and let Losi check you over again.”
He held out the book to her again. “Read it, please.”
She stared at him for a long time. Then, heaving a sigh, she took the book from him. “If I read this, will you see the medic?”
“If you still think I should after reading that,” Jasyn agreed.
Kriss flipped the book open to the first page and began to read.
Jasyn watched her, holding his breath. What would she think? Surely she would be able to see that this changed everything?
She turned the page and skimmed the words, as Jasyn had. Then she looked up, her eyes meeting his. His heart sank at the hard look in her eyes. “Lies,” she said flatly. “Made up by the humans to try to convince us not to kill them.”
Jason stared at her. That possibility hadn't even occurred to him. And he didn't believe it. “It can't be,” he said. “That book is old. It has to be hundreds of years old. Far older than any we have.”
Kriss shrugged and handed the book back to him. “So it's a lie they've been planning for hundreds of years. I wouldn't put anything past them.”
“You really think the humans wrote this book hundreds of years ago, and then held onto it to make sure we get to read it now? For what? If they were going to try to trick us, surely they would do something more useful.”
“I didn't say they were intelligent,” Kriss snapped.
“So they're intelligent enough to carry out a plan over hundreds of years, but not to make a plan that would actually work? Come on, Kriss. Can't you see? It has to be true. No other explanation makes sense.”
Kriss put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. “I know you want to believe that they’re different, Jasyn, and that there is another way. I admire that. But believing in it doesn’t make it so.”
Jasyn’s jaw dropped. She admired him? He put that thought away to examine later. “I’m not believing it because I want to—this book is proof. It has to be.”
“It doesn’t even make sense. It’s a story about jealousy, a fairy tale. Why would you believe it’s true?”
“Well, it explains why we can’t use magic in the human village. That is far too much of a coincidence to be a fairy tale.”
Kriss shrugged. “So they weaved a fact they knew we'd be aware of into their tale to make it seem true. That doesn't prove anything.”
He was running out of ways to convince her. “But what if it is true?” he said desperately. “What if we’re not really meant to live like this? What if we weren't trolls? What if we could use this information to change everything?”
Her expression changed slightly. She even took a step back, staring at the book as though it might bite her. “It can't be true,” she insisted, but her voice wavered.
“I thought so at first, too,” Jasyn said softly. “But it makes sense. It has to be true.”
Kriss was so still, Jasyn began to wonder if she was breathing. What was going through her mind right now? She was as shocked as he was, maybe more so. But would she be able to see the possibilities? All he could do was hope.
“This changes nothing,” she said finally. “If it is true somehow, all it proves is that they're not kind and gentle. They trapped us here, over the ridge, where there is nothing but snow and ice. They even said they were going to make sure we stayed here. They deserve what they get.”
“They were trying to protect everyone else,” Jasyn protested. “Can you imagine if we used all our collective magic against the human’s collective magic? The destruction that could cause—the destruction it must have caused. You can't blame them for wanting to avoid that again.”
Kriss shook her head. “It was still wrong. What did we do to deserve this?”
That he didn't have an answer to. The story in the book confused him as much as it confused her. One thing he knew though, “We didn't do anything. If anyone did, it was our very distant ancestors. And the humans’ very distant ancestors. It was all a long time ago and appears to have been nothing more than a lovers’ tiff. If we have forgotten, surely the other side has, too. The humans have to be able to see that we’re innocent in this. If we could talk to them, maybe we can convince them to… to…”
His mind searched around for a possibility. How could the troll’s lives be changed enough for them to be peaceful? Just having enough food wouldn’t solve all their problems. Their entire lives had been built around war and fighting for so long, it would take far more than that for them to change so completely.
The solution hit him like a blow. “…to lift the curse,” he said slowly.
Kriss’s eyes widened. “Become human, you mean?”
Her words sent a shiver through Jasyn. “Yeah, I guess that is what I mean.”
The idea seemed preposterous. Crazy. Impossible.
And yet, it could work.
“Why would we want to become human?” Kriss demanded. “I don't want to be anything like them. They're pitiful and weak. This ‘curse’ is really a blessing. It makes us better.”
“Really?” Jasyn demanded. “Do you like fighting all the time? Even when we’re not fighting the humans, we’re fighting each other. Even Mugos, the most powerful of us all, lives in constant fear of someone deciding they'd do a better job of ruling us than he does. Is that really what you want?”
This time, his words hit home. He could see it in Kriss’s wide eyes. It only lasted a second, then the vulnerable expression was replaced with a frown. “How would being human make us any different? I'm sure they fight with each other, just like we do. In fact, this book reinforces that. This whole mess was started by them fighting with each other!”
She had a point. And yet, it didn't quite feel right to Jasyn. “The humans in the village didn’t like the fighting either. In fact, they wanted peace.”
“Sure, that’s why they’re so nice and friendly with us whenever we cross the ridge.”
Couldn’t she see? “We go and steal their food, Kriss. Of course they’re going to defend themselves.”
“We steal their food because they stranded us here without any. If we stop fighting them, we’re still not going to have any food. Or do you think they’re going to start sharing with us if we’re human?” Kriss crossed her arms.
“Maybe they’re not. But I bet if we looked like them we'd be able to walk up to them and ask. And if we can talk to them, then we could live on the other side of the ridge, where we could grow our own food.”
She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe we don’t need the human’s help. Do you think you can lift this curse, now that you know it exists?”
He sighed. “I don't know. I have no idea where to even start.”
“Then it's all pointless, isn't it? If you can't lift the curse, then we can't become human, and none of it makes any difference.”
“We could ask them to help.”
“Didn't you already try that? You had plenty of opportunities.”
Jasyn remembered his failed attempt to talk to the humans. Yeah, that had gone well. Not. “We need a way to make them listen. A way to stop them from fighting long enough to hear what we have to say.”
“The only way they'll stop fighting long enough to hear what we have to say is when they’re dead,” Kriss said with certainty. “And that kind of defeats the purpose.”
He gave a half laugh. “Yes, it does. But what if there's another way?”
“Capture the next one that comes over the ridge and tie them up?” Kriss guessed.
Jasyn shook his head with a smile. “They don't come regularly enough. It could take months. No, we need one of those gems.”
“What good would that do us? It would just mean we can't use any magic here in the camp. That wouldn’t help us talk to the humans. They're
not even here.”
“We could take it with us and use magic to protect us from them. When they realise they can't hurt us, they’ll eventually stop trying. Then maybe they’ll listen to us.”
Kriss frowned. “How can you use magic to protect you when the gem stops you using magic?”
“It doesn’t stop everyone,” Jasyn said. He opened the book and pointed to a paragraph. “See, here. It says that ‘No magic can be used within it, save by those who hold one of the gems.’”
Kriss pursed her lips. “Maybe,” she conceded. “But how are you going to get the gem in the first place? I doubt the humans leave something that powerful lying around.”
“That’s easy. The book says the gems are protected by the twins who created them, and that they may rest in peace. If they’re resting in peace, that means they’re dead, so they have to be in the graveyard. Somewhere no one who hadn’t read this book would know. I don’t think they’ll expect us to try to take them.”
“Hmm.” Kriss frowned. “Just enough clues to make us think we’re clever for figuring it out. Sounds even more like it could be a trap.”
At least she had shifted to thinking it could be a trap, rather than definitely a trap.
“So we go in prepared for that. I think it’s worth the risk.”
Kriss stared at him, then shrugged. “Maybe. It’s not for me to decide. You’d better take your story to Mugos. Maybe this will get you off the hook for ruining the raid. If you can convince him.”
Jasyn bit his lip. He could imagine how that would play out. “Couldn’t you?”
“Why, so he can kill me instead of you?”
“No, of course not. He wouldn’t kill you, you’re his girlfriend. Me, I’m nothing.”
“You think that would make any difference to him?” Kriss’s voice was hard.
So she was under no illusions about her relationship with Mugos.
“Why do you stay with him?” Jasyn asked impulsively.
He regretted the words almost as soon as they were out of his mouth. He had no right to ask that question.
Kriss opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and shook her head. “Come on, we’ll go together.”