by Rinelle Grey
Trying to ignore the heat that flamed his cheeks, Jasyn nodded. “Kriss insisted we had to do it, just once, to maintain the illusion.”
He had kept that night tucked away in his memory, going over it so many times it was almost tattered. It was probably not even representative of the truth after all this time, but it sustained him through the dark nights, when he wondered if he had done the wrong thing. It keep him hoping that one day, when the struggle and the fighting were gone, that Kriss would want to stay with him.
Lyall nodded quickly and, to Jasyn’s relief, seemed happy to drop that topic. “I’m going to guess that you wish there was something more between the two of you?”
To Jasyn’s surprise, admitting the truth was hard. He hadn’t said it out loud to anyone before. In fact, he’d barely admitted it to himself. “I… Yes, I do.”
“Have you told her this?” Lyall asked softly.
“Well, no. Not really. Kriss has made it clear she’s not interested, so what would be the point?”
“If you’re not admitting that you love her, then why should she admit how she feels about you? If you love her, you need to be prepared to fight for her,” Lyall said. He opened his mouth to continue speaking, but Jasyn was barely paying attention anymore.
He loved Kriss.
How had he missed that?
As soon as the idea entered his mind, he knew it was true. He had loved her for years, even before he had stood up in the tent that night and suggested they talk to the humans.
He’d loved her since the day she had saved him from her brothers and walked away from his fish.
When he looked up at Lyall, the prince was watching him with a smile. “You didn’t realise?”
“No,” Jasyn admitted ruefully. “I mean, I knew I cared about her, but I hadn’t realised it was love.” He heaved a sigh. “Not that it matters. She doesn’t feel the same way. How could she? I’m a nobody. I was never going to be a warrior. In fact, fighting scared me.”
“You’re not a nobody,” Lyall corrected. “You’re the leader of your people. They don’t let nobodies become leaders.”
Jasyn shrugged, discounting his words. “That was just because I used magic. I didn’t win properly.”
Lyall raised an eyebrow. “Since when was winning with magic not a legitimate win?”
“It’s not the same in our village. Magic couldn’t be used against the humans…” he broke off and looked apologetically at Lyall. “Sorry, but that’s the way it was. Our only focus was on successful raids against Brianna’s village, because that was our only significant food source. We couldn’t grow anything in the cold climate, and hunting was slim.”
Lyall nodded. “That’s all right, I’m not offended. Go on.”
“Well, since magic wasn’t any use, it meant nothing. Being a strong and capable warrior was all that mattered. And I was never that.”
“And yet, you are the one who led your people into their first era of peace. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Of course it does,” Jasyn agreed. “I’m not doubting that I can lead the trolls, although I don’t think I’d be as effective if I did it without Kriss. You said I should fight for her, but no amount of fighting can force her to be attracted to me.”
Even as he said the last words, a blush burned his ears. That was the rub, wasn’t it? No matter how good he was as a leader, as a person, and as a friend—none of it mattered if she wasn’t attracted to him.
Lyall rubbed his chin. “Are you sure?”
“She made it pretty clear that she didn’t want anything to do with me after that first time we slept together. Kriss is a warrior and a good one at that. She admires people who are like her and who fight for what they believe in.”
It was hopeless. He should have kept his mouth shut. At least then he could still cling to the hope that one day Kriss might give him a chance. Now, as he went over every detail and explained it to Lyall, he could see that it was a fantasy.
“You don't fight for what you believe in?” Lyall raised an eyebrow. “Then what were you doing, standing at the head of an army and marching into Brianna’s village?”
“Well, I…” Jasyn gave a short laugh. “All right, you have a point. But that was different. And even then, I'm not good at it. Every skill I've learned with a sword has been hard-won. I have no natural talent for it. In fact, pretty much everything I’ve done has been so I could avoid fighting.”
“Hard-won skills are far more admirable than raw talent,” Lyall said seriously. “But in reality, none of that matters. What you want to know is what Kriss thinks. And the only way to know how she truly feels about you is to ask her.”
Jasyn's heart started pounding at the thought. He couldn't even begin to imagine walking up to Kriss and asking what she thought of him. Asking if she loved him.
What if she said no?
He began to shake his head, but Lyall held up a hand. “Hear me out,” he said. “I know it seems intimidating…”
“Terrifying,” Jasyn corrected.
Lyall smiled. “All right, terrifying. But what have you got to lose? You're already convinced she doesn't love you, so if she says so, it's no different. If she says yes though…”
How amazing would it be if she said yes? He and Kriss could have a relationship like Lyall and Brianna, or like the king and queen. It was so easy to imagine. They were so good together.
What if there was indeed a chance? What if she just needed him to ask her?
It couldn't be that simple. Kriss wasn't exactly shy. If she cared about him, surely she would have said something.
His elation vanished. Jasyn shook his head. “Kriss doesn't care about me. If she did, she would have told me. And if I say anything, I risk messing up our friendship.”
“What if she is thinking the same thing?”
Jasyn ground his teeth. It was easy for the mage prince. Everyone liked him. He was good looking, and a skilled warrior and mage. He had no idea what it was like to be no good at anything.
“I can't.”
“Sometimes the worst monsters are the ones we can't even see,” Lyall said quietly.
What was he talking about? There were no monsters here. Only a wish for things to be something other than what they were.
And a fear that they might never be.
Jasyn heaved a sigh. Yes, he was afraid. He was clinging to a dream of what might be because he was too afraid to find out what really was. He needed to stop living in a dream land and start living in the real world. Kriss might actually care about him and the only way to find out for sure was to ask her.
And if she didn't, he needed to know that. He couldn't live his life for a hopeless cause.
He took a deep breath. “You're right,” he agreed. “I need to ask her.”
Lyall smiled. “Perfect. And here’s your chance. She and Brianna just arrived back.” He waved out the window to the two women crossing the courtyard.
Well, there was no time like the present, even though his stomach turned at the thought. If he didn't do it now, he'd likely sink into avoidance again.
Still, he felt like mice were scurrying around his gut as he waited for the women to join them.
When they arrived, Brianna threw her arms around Lyall as though she hadn’t seen him for a week instead of just that morning.
He smiled and kissed the top of her head.
“How did the shopping go?” Lyall smiled to Kriss as well, to include her in the conversation.
Kriss looked distinctly uncomfortable, which didn’t help Jasyn’s nerves any. “I found a few things, I guess.”
Of course. She was uncomfortable about clothes shopping. The constriction around his chest eased a little.
“You have some very nice dresses,” Brianna assured her. “They’ll be perfect for our time here and for when you return home as well.”
“Did you find some things you like too?” Lyall asked her.
Brianna nodded. “And I found a pretty blue dress
for Mianna, too.”
“Do you want to come and show me?”
Brianna looked at Lyall suspiciously and Jasyn winced. Could the prince be any more obvious? But she just nodded.
“I’ll see you both at dinner,” she said to Kriss and Jasyn. Then she and Lyall left the room, hand in hand.
When the door closed behind them, Jasyn felt a moment’s impulse to talk about the clothes, or her time with Brianna, or even the palace and how easy it was to get lost. Anything to avoid confessing his feelings towards her.
But something in the expression on her face stopped him. She looked so uncertain and alone.
Maybe he could offer her something after all. He started to say, “Kriss, we need…”
Just as she said, “I have to….”
Both of them stopped and looked at each other.
“You first,” Kriss said.
Jasyn took a deep breath. Then his mind went blank. He couldn’t think of a single way to tell her.
Might as well just say it.
“I wanted to ask if you thought… if we could… well. Maybe we could give it a go?”
“Give what a go? We’ve already talked to the humans, and removed the curse. What else is there to do?”
“Us, I mean. Our relationship.”
There. It was out.
For some reason, it was hard to breathe. And Kriss didn’t say anything. She just stared at him, her expression unreadable.
She was going to say no. It was obvious.
“I mean, I thought we had something that one night before the big battle. And I really like and admire you, I always have. There’s no one else I feel closer to, not even Uma. You’ve become my best friend and I hate the thought of losing you.”
He was rambling, desperately hoping to change her mind.
“I don’t think those are the right reasons to stay in a relationship, Jasyn. I don’t want a friendship, or just ‘good in bed.’ I want what Brianna and Lyall have. I want to love someone so much that I’m willing to take on anyone and anything rather than risk losing them.”
Jasyn stared at her. Couldn’t she see?
“I love you, Kriss. I do feel like that.”
Her eyes flew to his, wide with surprise. “You do?” Then she immediately shook her head. “No, you can’t. You just think you do because we’ve been together so long. What do you have to compare this to? And anyway, I don’t feel the same way.”
That was it. Jasyn tried to ignore the crushing disappointment in his heart. He tried not to scramble for something else to say. It was pointless. She didn’t feel the same way, so it didn’t matter how he felt.
He’d ruined it. How could they continue to pretend to be married, pretend to be in love, now?
And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. If he hadn’t talked to her, he would have spent the rest of his life wondering what might have been. At least now he knew.
“I have always loved you, Kriss. I always will. But it’s all right if you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted you to know.”
“Jasyn, I…”
The door slammed open and both of them turned to look.
Lyall burst in, breathing deeply. The prince wouldn’t have interrupted them unless it was urgent. A nervous feeling started in the pit of Jasyn’s stomach.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Mugos has escaped,” Lyall announced. “And he’s not alone. He’s with Oriana, Father’s ex-wife—one of the most powerful mages on Isla de Magi.”
20
Troll Challenge
Kriss was relieved at the interruption, even if the news was far from good. The conversation with Jasyn had become uncomfortable, and the hurt, yet determined, look on his face confused her.
Concentrating on a real problem was far easier.
“They can’t have gone far,” she said. “We can probably catch them before they even get off the island.”
Lyall shook his head. “They must have escaped at least an hour ago. Two guards are dead and there’s a ship missing.”
“We need to follow them immediately,” Jasyn said quickly. “How soon can you have a ship ready?”
Lyall didn’t skip a beat. “There will be one waiting by the time we reach the harbour.”
“Well, what are we waiting for?” Kriss asked.
She’d worry about this mess with Jasyn later. She didn’t have time now.
Brianna, Mianna, and Terion met them half way down the stairs.
“Are the girls safe?” Lyall asked, not slowing his descent.
“They’re not happy about being left with your mother, but the promise of bedtime stories and cake seems to have placated them for now.” Brianna gave a small smile.
Lyall turned to Mianna. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be better off staying with them? Brianna and I can handle this.”
Mianna didn’t pause. “You’ve said before how powerful your father’s ex-wife is. You might need all of us.”
Kriss was glad Lyall didn’t ask her the same question. She and Jasyn had minimal power compared to the four linked mages, but there was no way she was staying behind. Mugos was her problem, and this time she’d ensure that he didn’t live to continue causing trouble.
No matter what Jasyn said.
They were about to step onto the boat when a man in gold and blue livery came running down the docks. He stopped near the boat, breathing heavily.
“What is it?” Lyall asked urgently.
“The chest,” the man gasped. “With the gems. It’s gone.”
The knot that had been in Kriss’s stomach when she’d heard Mugos had escaped tightened into a snarl. Why did Mugos want the gems? She had seen what happened to Brianna when she’d merely put her finger near the cursed magic. Was the ex-champion really set on being a troll again? What did it gain him?
“There’s no time to lose,” Lyall said. “If we leave at once, hopefully we can overtake them before they reach Eryvale.”
Kriss had thought the journey to Isla de Magi, sped by magic, had been fast. But that had been nothing compared to the return trip. Lyall, Brianna, Mianna and Terion stood at the bow of the ship, unmoved by its rocking and shuddering, as their magic pushed it through the waves faster than anything Kriss had ever seen before.
All she could do was hang onto the railings for dear life. The constant up and down unsettled her stomach, but she ignored it. She didn’t have time to be ill.
No one talked. No one discussed plans. They just ploughed on ahead.
They passed one or two fishing boats, their captains staring at them slack jawed as they flew past, but nothing that had come from Isla de Magi. Mugos was still ahead of them.
They left a few men at the dock to secure the ship, then, not even stopping for horses, they headed towards Eryvale at a run.
Years of training meant Kriss could keep up, though the shifting of the ground under her as the mages magically sped up their movement made her feel dizzy. She didn’t complain though, and neither did Jasyn. The determined looks on the four mages’ faces said it all. If she couldn’t keep up, they’d leave her behind without hesitation.
Even the hundred warriors that came with them couldn’t keep up with the speed sustained by the four linked mages. They were left far behind. Kriss wasn’t sure how she managed.
When they reached the woods near Brianna’s hometown without seeing a signs of Mugos or the powerful mage accompanying him, Kriss was concerned. The thought of what the ex-champion might be planning unnerved her as much as the abrupt cessation of the ground shifting under her feet. She nearly lost her footing and reached for Jasyn’s shoulder. His solid frame steadied her.
“Why are you stopping?” Mianna demanded. “We’re not there yet.”
Kriss opened her mouth to repeat Mianna’s question, when she felt it. She knew the answer even before Jasyn replied.
“We’ve just hit the magical barrier.”
All colour drained from Mianna's cheeks. “The gems,” she whisper
ed. “They used them.”
“But the barrier shouldn’t extend this far, should it?” Kriss asked.
“No, it only extends a little bit outside the wall. They must not be in the village itself. They must be waiting outside.” Brianna said grimly.
Kriss opened her mouth to ask why, when she realised everyone was staring at her and Jasyn. That was when the impact of Mugos's actions hit her. She held out her hands, staring at them, but they remained pale and delicate.
Jasyn didn't change either.
“Why are we still human?” Kriss looked at Lyall, Brianna, Jasyn, and the others. Surely one of them knew. But they looked as confused as she was.
“I don’t know. I would have thought that when the curse was released from the gems, you would turn into trolls again. Lyall said.
“Maybe it's because we weren't there when the curse was released,” Jasyn guessed. “Or maybe it's because they only removed the curse from one gem?”
“Or maybe it's because I physically removed the curse from both of you,” Brianna suggested. “Or they found some other way to remove the curse from the gems.”
“We can sit around and speculate all day,” Mianna said firmly, “but in the meantime, Mugos could be in Eryvale. We need to keep moving.”
“We need to wait for the warriors to catch up,” Lyall said firmly. “It’s foolhardy to walk into an area where we can’t use our magic without military backup. We don’t have any idea what is happening there.”
Kriss felt the hilt of her sword, though she didn't draw it. Magic or no magic, it made little difference to her. She intended to use cold, hard steel against Mugos.
It wasn't like Mugos could use magic anyway. He had neither the power nor the knowledge. The king’s ex-wife though, she was a powerful mage. Kriss turned to ask Lyall what he thought the warriors could do against Oriana, when a sound halted her.
A child’s cry sounded loud in the silence.
Jasyn paled. “That sounds like Kais,” he said desperately. “Damn Mugos.” He turned to Lyall, “They have my nephew.”
Kriss’s heart constricted.