Dreams and Nightmares

by Shirley A. Roe

  Chapter Ten- Spring at Last

  Although clumps of snow and ice could still be seen, most of the landscape was covered in green sprouts of grass. Martha stood in front of the cabin, the sun's rays bringing warmth to her face. A wagon approached from the east. Martha shielded her eyes, waving to the people approaching. “Morning Arnold, Ethel where are you off to this fine day?” As the words left her lips, she realized that the Swartz’ wagon was piled high with furniture and crates.

  “We came to say goodbye Martha. The winter has taken its toll on our finances. We can't survive another month. This land has taken our dreams and our money. Nothing to do but move on.” Arnold Swartz sadly shook his head as he extended his hand to Martha in farewell. “We are going to California.”

  “But Arnold, is there nothing that can be done. Perhaps you could get a loan or we could take up a collection. Everyone has suffered the long winter, but I know they would all try to help.” Martha could not bear the dejected look on the pair. “How are you going to make it all the way over the mountains to California?” Ethel sat shoulders hunched in the wagon. She lifted her sad eyes in Martha's direction but didn't say a word. Tears were pooling in her eyes. Martha was speechless. She noticed Arnold look past her, his eyes full of disgust and anger to the doorway, where Jebediah stood. He quickly averted his gaze and nodded to Martha. She turned in time to see Jebediah return to the cabin, shutting the door. Martha was curious as to the look that Arnold had given him. There was definitely a sign of anger in the man's face but Martha had no idea why Arnold would be angry with Jebediah. The people loved Jebediah. The Swartz’ wagon disappeared in the distance as she pondered the strange look. It was sad to see one of the townspeople leaving, when hopes had been so high. These people were strong and courageous, battling almost insurmountable odds to settle in this barren land. As she stared in the direction of the disappearing wagon, in the back of her mind, she wished she were going with them. A single tear trickled down her face.

  The temperature had risen and the homesteaders had been busy with the building of the new parish church. Everyone contributed time and energy and finally the tiny church was ready for the opening presentation. The sky was bright blue with only a few wispy clouds.

  “Ladies and Gentleman, it gives me great pleasure to present the key to our new church to Pastor Jebediah Whittaker. Jebediah could you come up front please?” Jake extended his large, calloused hand to invite Jebediah to join him. All of the homesteaders crowded around the front of the new church building. A loud applause was heard as Jebediah walked up the steps of the church. The homesteaders were very proud of their new building and sincerely believed no one deserved the applause like Jebediah. He had been kind enough to loan most of them money over the course of the winter and they considered him a Godsend. The Swartz were the unfortunate ones. They had the parcel directly next to Jebediah's and were his first victim. After lending them money early in the winter, he recalled the loan as the snow started to melt. Arnold Swartz had no choice but to leave, increasing the size of Jebediah's holding by double. Defeated and too embarrassed to say anything, they simply packed up and left. The rest of the homesteaders remained in the dark to the serious fate that awaited them. Totally unaware of Jebediah's sinister plot, they praised him as a God fearing, generous man. Taking time from their chores to complete the church building. Jebediah was a Godsend. They simply accepted him as the church Pastor, rejoicing in his presence in their lives.

  “Words can not express my appreciation. We have taken the vast barren plains and built a community to be proud of. Soon we'll have more shops, log homes and a town of our own. Thank you my friends for your continued faith in God and in me as your pastor. Praise the Lord!” Jebediah accepted the key from Jake and smiled as he opened the door to his future.

  Martha, Abraham and Ezekiel sat on the knoll opposite the church. It felt good just to be outside once again and Ezekiel ran off to chase a prairie dog or rabbit. Martha and Abraham sat in silence taking in the scent of fresh grass mixed with the smell of pies and fried chicken from the large wooden tables. Just the warmth in the air was enough to lift Martha's spirits. Clad in her simple blue gingham dress with lace trimmed white apron, she felt renewed. Jebediah had uncharacteristically, allowed her to take the material in trade for some of the pies she had baked. Mrs. Mueller had been pleased to barter with Martha, selling the pies was good for business. The newly built General Store was very successful under the constant care of Olga. Fritz’ wheezing had grown worse over the winter, but he did what he could to help out. More and more supplies became available in the tiny town, thanks to the Muellers. It had taken some convincing to get the small roll of material, but Jebediah had finally given in. Of course he had done it so that she would look presentable to his parishioners, but at this point she didn't really care why, grateful for anything he would give her. Her hair now dull and lackluster was tightly knotted on the back of her head. She had cut several inches of dead ends off during the winter hoping to restore it but it seemed hopeless. At this point in her life it was no longer important. It had been a long and torturous winter; maybe things would improve now that spring was here. Perhaps now she would not have to force herself to get out of bed in the morning, actually wanting to see another day. People were getting reacquainted and there was much merriment and laughter. Children played, food was consumed and the sound of fiddles and guitars filled the air. This was an important day in the life of this growing western town.

  Once Ezekiel was out of range, Abraham began to tell Martha of his latest dream. They had agreed that they would never discuss Abraham's dreams unless they were alone. Even an innocent comment by Ezekiel could put them both in grave jeopardy.

  “I think I know who the man in the dreams is, Martha.” Abraham had several dreams over the winter of a man that seemed familiar to him but who he did not know. “I think he is my Uncle Jeremy.” Abraham pensively twirled a blade of grass in his fingers, his foot tapping involuntarily to the sound of the fiddle.

  “Your uncle, but hasn't he been away for years? Why would you dream of him?” Martha had learned to pay close attention to Abraham's dreams as most of them came true. “Why do you think it is your uncle?”

  “When I was very small I remember Uncle Jeremy used to take me to the stables to see the horses and the dogs. Once he let me sit with the new puppies. I still remember how round and soft they were. One of them licked my face with his little pink tongue. We loved Uncle Jeremy. He was very kind to us. Then he went away after Grandfather died and we never saw him again. I haven't thought of him for years. Last night when I woke up I realized that the man in the dream was him.”

  “So the man you saw on a ship in the dream was your uncle. What about the man you saw riding in the stage coach, was that your uncle too?” Martha was very patient with Abraham because his dreams were very intense and she did not want to upset him.

  “Both times I saw Uncle Jeremy he was with the same stranger. On a ship and in a Stagecoach but I don't know what the dream means. I just think he is angry with father for some reason. That is just a feeling I get when I dream of him.” Abraham kept his eyes on the church door for any sign of his father. He had learned never to speak of his dreams within earshot of Jebediah or Isaac. Abraham knew the Martha was the only person he could trust with his strange ability. Jebediah believed in harsh discipline and beatings were common for all of the boys but none were as severe as the one in the shed, when Martha had intervened. Abraham had learned that he could trust her that day and he never forgot what she had done for him. He loved her with all of his heart. He remembered the time he had picked flowers for her from the back of the church. She had been so happy and given him her best smile. Martha set them in a jar of water on the kitchen table and gave him a big hug. Then his father came home and made him take the flowers back to the church. They remained on the table at the front of the tiny church during the Sunday service; Abraham's anger festered as he sat in the front pew. Reminded of hi
s father's cruelty every time he looked at them. She deserved a few moments happiness. What harm did the flowers do sitting on her kitchen table? His Father was cruel and heartless; sometimes Abraham thought he hated his Father.

  Moments later, Ezekiel ran back to Martha with tears in his eyes. “Ezekiel what is the matter? Why are you crying?” Martha pulled the weeping boy into her arms and tried to soothe him.

  “Isaac killed the rabbit. I was chasing it and Isaac shot it with his bow. I just wanted to see it. I didn't want it to die,” the sobbing youngster gasped for breath, “ Isaac is mean Martha. He laughed when he shot it. I hate him.” Ezekiel sobbed and rested his head on Martha's lap as she tried to console him, convincing him that he should love his brother no matter what he did.

  Martha however, agreed with Ezekiel; Isaac was mean spirited and probably killed the rabbit just because Ezekiel was enjoying it. Anger boiled up inside of her, how could Isaac be so cruel to his little brother. What drove the boy to such lengths? She would like to shout at Isaac and admonish him for the cruel thoughtless things that he did. Unfortunately, she knew that any anger against Isaac or his father would have to be suppressed. Ezekiel soon became distracted and ran off. She stood, fists clenched and stomped her feet in an effort to dispel some of the pent up anger she felt. She wanted to walk into the field and just scream as loud as she could. Scream for Isaac's cruelty, scream for the beatings that the boys and she had endured, and scream for someone to come and help her. Abraham watched her silently from his perch in the nearby tree.

  Instead, Martha looked to the sky and prayed for some sign of hope. She prayed to a different God than Jebediah claimed to represent because no God of hers would ever condone Jebediah Whittaker as community Pastor. This entire church ceremony made her sick to her stomach. Are they all so gullible to think that Jebediah was a wonderful God- fearing man? Do they not see how cruel and unfeeling he really was? Martha was beginning to believe she was living with the Devil himself and Isaac was the Devil's own seed. She found it difficult to maintain the pretense forced upon her by Jebediah.

  Unfortunately her feelings were distancing her from the only people she now had contact with. Jebediah kept his family separate from the others as much as possible. Even during church services, they sat in the front pew and were instructed to return to the cabin as soon as the service was over. An occasional quick conversation with Margaret after church and the off chance that Jebediah allowed her to deliver the pies to Olga, were the only communication Martha had with the outside world. Needing some of that communication, Martha moved towards the church in an effort to find someone to talk to before Jebediah came and instructed her to go back to the cabin. Abraham stayed in the tree and watched her go, disheartened by the sad look in her eyes.

  The next time Abraham and Martha discussed one of Abraham's dreams it was very disconcerting to Martha. She could see the toll, the confusion and distress the dreams were having on Abraham. He was so young and innocent to have to deal with such a gift. She often wondered whether it was a gift or a curse. It was weeks after the church ceremony and almost dusk. The days were getting longer and drier now and their life seemed to have moved outside.

  “I think God is angry Martha.” Abraham whispered as he and Martha fed the goats. Jebediah was at the church where he spent most of his time and Isaac was delivering his supper to him. Ezekiel had fallen asleep so the two were alone.

  “Why do you think God is angry Abraham?” Martha was not sure what to expect next. She spread the straw in the pen where the new mother goat and her kids were housed. A low bleating sound was coming from the goat.

  “Because, I saw the church burning.” Abraham reached out to stroke the back of the new born kid. “It burned and burned and I heard someone laughing,” relayed Abraham. “Yes, I think God is very angry that Father is the Pastor.” Martha did not know how to respond. She assured Abraham that perhaps this time his dream would not come true but asked him to be very careful around the church. He was to keep a very close eye on Ezekiel as well. Fires were one of the worst nightmares for the homesteaders. Earlier in the week she noticed with apprehension the dryness of the land. She had stooped to pluck a blade of prairie grass and found it dry, almost to the point of brittleness. When she felt the rising wind, her glance at the fresh stocks of wheat and the foot high cornfield was uneasy. A fire would start readily, and drying fields were excellent tinder. She remembered thinking of the one precautionary measure against prairie fires taken by all of the homesteaders. A broad strip of bare stamped earth circled their cabins and the outbuildings as well as the church. There was reasonable safety within that line, for this path of grassless earth would hopefully form a magic ring of protection for the families and the stock. However, fire was known to leap narrow streams and even the fact that their property was surrounded on two sides by the river did not ensure that they would be safe. Martha pushed her anxiety to the back of her mind and finished her chores. Hopefully, this time Abraham's dream was just a dream. The young boy stayed with the goats, stroking the young kid gently and scratching the goat on the head. The animals were very comfortable with Abraham and he with them.

  She fed the stock, collected the eggs, and watered the horses then returned to the cabin. Although she still had no great love of animals she had learned to accept them as part of her life. The log home was built and she was relieved to have a proper house. Unfortunately it did not improve her situation as much as she had hoped. It proved to be more work for her being larger than the sod house. She had now been given the responsibility for cleaning the church as well; but, now grateful for any small improvement, she was glad to have a decent place for herself and the boys. Having accepted the fact that there was no escape from Jebediah, she knew that she had to make the best of the situation. At least they had more room and she put up a privacy curtain for her baths. She shuddered every time she remembered that in the sod house the tub was set up and filled in the middle of the room. Everyone was required to leave the house so she could bathe, but she had been subjected to Jebediah's unwanted, presence on several occasions. Now the privacy curtain provided her a certain amount of privacy, no matter how small. The log house had a large fireplace and would be much warmer next winter. She stacked the wood near the fire and carried the basket of vegetables to the table. As she prepared the evening meal of boiled rabbit, vegetables and bannock bread, Abraham's dream kept returning to her mind. Will there be a fire? The dreams about his uncle troubled her as well. If Jeremy Whittaker is anything like his brother, he is the last person I want to see. What could it all mean?

  She prepared the meal and waited while the boys washed for dinner. Around the table the five ate in their usual silence. Ezekiel reached for his glass of milk and it tumbled over sending a river of white in Jebediah's direction.

  “You stupid boy, I have told you to be more careful.” Jebediah barked at the boy. Ezekiel's eyes were downcast as he blinked back the tears. “Enough of that crying. Martha is making a baby out of you, now away from the table with no supper. You can go and finish cleaning the last of those rabbits before you go to bed. Now go.” Jebediah reached out and struck Ezekiel across the face. He roughly pushed the small boy from his chair in the direction of the door. Then as quickly as it had happened, Jebediah turned his attention back to his food as Ezekiel, hand to his red tear stained face, left the cabin. Abraham and Martha exchanged a concerned glance but not a word was spoken. Isaac ignored the entire situation, continuing to consume his food. Hours later Ezekiel returned to the cabin and without a word climbed into his cot, Martha was sympathetic but knew better than to approach the boy. She prepared for bed and that night she dreamt of flames engulfing her new log home.

  Days later while cleaning the small church building, she entered the office area where Jebediah spent his time. The space was small containing only a wooden desk, chair and a small bookshelf but it was adequate and fast becoming the Pastor's sanctuary. Relieved to see the room was empty, she pushed the door
open, noticing a large leather bound ledger book on his desk. Making sure she was alone, she curiously flipped open the pages. There she found the names of most of the people in the community and a sum of money beside each name. Even the Muellers, who were expanding the much- awaited General Store, were indebted to Jebediah. She found lien notes made out to Jebediah for almost all of the properties in the community. The lien from the long departed Swartz family was marked: Plot now transferred. So this is what he is up to. Jebediah was worse than she thought. These people had put him on the highest pedestal. It was all a sham, a trick to take their land from them. Angered at the tyranny toward these trusting souls, she felt sick. She took a deep breath, but started feeling weak in the knees. What can I do with this information? Suddenly she was aware of someone approaching the office. Slamming the book shut she moved nervously towards her bucket and mop. Isaac appeared in the doorway.

  “What are you doing in here? You know you are to stay out of my father's office. Get back to your cleaning.” Isaac raised his hand as if he were about to strike her. The boy of eleven was almost as tall as Martha but it was the look in his eye and not the raised hand that frightened her most.

  “I simply came in here to mop the floor, now I'll be going if you will get out of my way.” Pushing past him her shoulder brushing his, she returned to the church. Isaac stood staring at her for a few minutes before leaving by the back door. Unsure if he had seen her, Martha grew more and more nervous as the day progressed. The sick feeling in her stomach would not go away. Jebediah would kill her if he knew that she had seen the ledger.