by Shirley Jump
“No, but you did get a lot of traction out of finding her later. All that “my hero” crap. How is she going to feel if she knows you lied to her this whole time?”
Zach scowled. Here they were, standing on the same street where the two of them used to race their bikes and toss a football, and it was all different now. The brother he used to know was different. And there was no going back, or pretending Keith hadn’t hurt the only woman Zach had ever loved. “Just do me a favor and stay out of my life.”
“I may have screwed up, but I’m still your brother.” Keith’s face softened, and for a second, Zach couldn’t see the tattoos on his arms or the hardened lines in his face. “I’ve learned my lesson. I’m not the same guy who went into prison.”
Zach took a long hard look at his brother. “No, you’re not. And I’m not the same naive younger brother anymore, either.”
He walked off. This time, Keith didn’t follow. Zach kept on going until he was back on Fortune’s Island, and the ocean separated him from Keith once again.
THIRTEEN
Jillian sat in class, chatted with her fellow students, took a walk at lunchtime, and bought a taco from a street vendor, but her mind remained back on Fortune’s Island. With Ethan. And with Zach.
Why did Zach have to go and say all the right things now? She was over him. Moved on. Dating another. He should be past history, after all these months apart. Except…
She’d looked into his eyes, those big brown eyes she had never been able to resist, and felt herself relenting. Wondering if maybe she should give him a second chance. He seemed like he’d finally listened to her, understood what had driven her to put her engagement ring on his amp. That had made hope flutter in her chest, silly, buoyant, stubborn hope. The whole day, her mind danced between Zach and Ethan.
She boarded the ferry back to Fortune’s Island just after two. Even though she knew Zach was staying in Manomet for dinner, she glanced around to see if he was onboard. A weird mixture of disappointment and relief rolled through her when she didn’t see him.
What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just forget all about him?
The ferry docked and Jillian was one of the first ones off. She hopped in her car, heading home to grab a change of clothes and her guitar from its hiding place in the back of a closet. The urge to hear music, to let the notes take her away, grew stronger every second, and quadrupled the second she held the guitar in her hands. She tucked the instrument into the passenger’s side, then headed down the shore road to the rocks. She parked, got her guitar, then picked her way to the rocky outcropping. It wasn’t until her guitar was settled against her, her fingers strumming lightly along the strings, that she began to feel calm again.
The music she’d written over the last few months poured out of her, one song after another. She ran through them in the order she’d written them: first, from the heartbreak of ending things with Zach, and then, those early, impossibly lonely weeks. Finally, there were the newer, harder songs that were filled with anger and disappointment and a resolve to put Zach from her mind. It was as if she could sing her way through the things she needed to think about. That the Zach she had fallen in love with wasn’t the one she had broken up with, and the chances of him changing into the man she wanted him to be were near to zero.
Except…today, there had been a moment when she’d thought—
No, She wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She refused to go backwards.
She played for an hour, until the rollercoaster of emotion in her chest fully subsided, then packed everything up and headed to work. By the time she got to The Love Shack, her mood had lightened and she figured she was ready to face Zach when he came in to play his set that night. Face him, and not be affected by him.
At all.
“And how is the best daughter in the world?” Her father drew her into a hug as she walked into the building. She leaned into his shoulder, inhaling Old Spice and the man who had taught her how to throw a baseball and catch a fish.
“Doing fine, Dad.”
“You look a little tired,” he said, a soft hand on her cheek. “You sleeping okay?”
“I’m fine.” She was tired, and it was hell on earth making it to daytime classes after working until one in the morning. But, she figured she’d sleep when she had her degree.
“You know…” He shook his head. “Nah, I shouldn’t say it.”
“Say what?”
“You know I love you, right? And I’m here to support you no matter what.”
She nodded. “Of course.”
“Then you should know that you can tell me anything. Like…” he looked around the room, then lowered his voice, “that you went across to the mainland today for class.”
Jillian stopped and stared at her father, her jaw slack. “How long have you known?”
“From the day you got your acceptance letter. At least, that’s what I figured it was, since it came in a big envelope.” He shrugged. “You know Larry, the mailman, sometimes messes up and sends your mail to my house and our mail to your house. God bless the man for working, but he should have retired ten years and two cataracts ago.”
“Then how did it get to me?”
“I told Larry about the mis-delivery, and told him not to tell you.” Her father brushed the bangs off her forehead. “Though I wish you would have come and told me and your mother.”
A wave of guilt washed over Jillian. “I…I couldn’t. Have you told Mom?”
“Nope. That’s your business. Though I can’t for the life of me understand why you didn’t want us to know.”
She sighed. At the time, it had seemed like a good idea. But now, seeing the hurt in her father’s face, she realized she could have handled it differently. By trying to protect her parents, she had wound up hurting them. Yet another reason why she needed to quit letting fear rule her decisions, as Carter had said. The problem? It was a lot easier said than done. “A lot of reasons. You’d want to pay for it, and I know you guys don’t have the money for that.”
“We have money set aside, Jilly girl. For you, for the future.”
They did, she was sure, but their business was so mercurial, governed by stormy weather and a stormy economy, and she hated to add to their stress. “I know, but you both have done so much for me, that I didn’t want you to do this, too. I really wanted to do it on my own. To see if I could.”
To see if she had what it took to make it in music before she told anyone. It was one thing to sing alone in your bedroom or on a rock and think you sounded pretty good. Quite another to take that public and have others judge your abilities. And she was old enough now that she figured her decisions were all her own financial responsibility. After all, she couldn’t give Zach a hard time about being foolish with his money if she ran to her parents for college tuition. Being a grown-up meant being one in all areas of her life, not just the ones that were convenient.
“I understand that.” Her dad ruffled her hair. “You’re a lot like your dad in that way. Stubborn and determined.”
She grinned. “I’m glad to be like you.”
Whit took the other end of a table and together, they hefted it into place, then slid the chairs underneath. “And what’s the other reason?”
“I…well, I wasn’t sure if it was going to work out, and I knew how you felt about Zach being a musician—”
Her father put up a hand. “Let me stop you right there. I think Zach is a fine young man. Got a little growing up to do yet, but a fine young man. And he’s got some talent. I think he’ll make something out of this music thing someday.”
She loaded the napkin holder and the recycled six-pack box of condiments onto the table. “But you always said he should get a regular job, one that would support us.”
“Because I wanted him to prove how much he wanted his career. He needs to prove he’s serious and buckle down, one way or the other. Sort of like you leaving your engagement ring on his amp three months ago.” Her father’s
eyes softened. “You were trying to get him to prove how much he wanted to marry you.”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t do much of anything after that. So the proof was in the non-action, I guess.”
“And is that what he’s doing now? Letting you go?”
“No. Now he’s trying harder than ever to get me back. But I think it’s only because he saw me out on a date with someone else.” Because if he’d loved her so much, then he would have done something in the last three months.
“Sometimes a man needs a swift kick in the ass to wake the hell up.” Whit grinned. “And I think this week was Zach’s swift kick.”
“I think it’s too late, Dad. I really do.” She’d waited so long, and hoped so much. Now that she was finally moving on, Zach was trying to come back into her life, acting like he had changed, like it would be different. Trusting in those words was a lot harder than hearing them. They were like sandcastles. They looked permanent, but when the next tide came in, they disappeared. She couldn’t build a future on something like that. Not again. If she did, it would hurt twice as much to end things with Zach again.
“It’s never too late for true love,” her father said, as if he’d read all her fears.
She leaned against the railing and crossed her arms over her chest. “But how do you know when it’s true love? How did you know with Mom?”
He thought a minute. Her father had aged a lot when Jillian wasn’t looking, developing gray in his hair and wrinkles in his cheeks, but he had the same welcoming smile and warm eyes that had hooked her mother all those years ago and made him a friend to pretty much everyone who met him. “I realized one day I was a better person with her than I was without her. Your mother brings out the best in me. She makes me want to try harder, to be stronger. To be the man I suppose I was meant to be. I’m not always that man, but Lord knows I’m trying.”
Jillian surged forward and gathered her father into a tight hug. “You are the best man I know, Dad. I can only hope to marry someone half as amazing as you are.”
Her dad chuckled softly, but there was a catch in his throat. “Now you’re just sucking up for Christmas.”
That was Whit Matheson, turning an emotional moment into something lighthearted. “It’s never too early to start shopping,” Jillian said, then placed a quick kiss on his cheek before she headed into the kitchen to start her shift.
# # #
Zach barely said three words to the other guys while they were setting up their equipment. He didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to see Jillian and sure as hell didn’t want to talk to anyone about what had happened back on the mainland. All he wanted to do was his job, and get out of here.
His phone was buzzing in his pocket. A constant barrage of texts from his mother and brother. His father hadn’t sent a text, which was Carl’s way of showing his disapproval. Zach’s mother begged him to make up with his brother and to let them get back to being a happy family again. The problem was that they’d never really been a happy family. It had all been an illusion, a game they played.
Keith was more direct, saying things like, Dude, don’t be an ass. Zach ignored them all. There was a reason he lived on an island.
Darcy came by with their food order, instead of Jillian, which didn’t surprise him. Since they’d broken up, Jillian rarely brought the band their customary burgers and sodas. He missed seeing her smiling face, missed seeing her one last time before he started performing. Missed catching her smiling at him from across the room.
Jillian was working tonight, but as she darted here and there in the restaurant, servicing one table after another, she never glanced his way. It was as if that kiss had never happened. As if they were two strangers.
He’d been a fool. A big, stupid fool.
It was time he started doing something about it. Something other than begging Jillian to take him back, because that sure as hell wasn’t getting him anywhere. He started the set, playing along with the guys, but his mind was elsewhere. By the time they took their first break, Zach had a plan.
One he had to hurry up and execute before it was too late.
FOURTEEN
She wasn’t really looking for him. Okay, maybe she was. Jillian knew she was spending way too much time on the back deck, waiting on the tables out there, in the offhand hope that maybe Ethan would return early from his trip and motor over in his uncle’s boat again. Just after eight, she heard the low putt-putt of the fishing boat, and everything within her went on high alert.
But the figure docking and getting out of the boat was too tall, too broad to be Ethan. Disappointment sank like a stone in Jillian’s stomach.
It was all Zach’s fault. Seeing him on the ferry today, after that kiss yesterday, and then seeing him at the bar, had her thoughts revolving in a constant whir around his face, his touch. She needed to remember why they’d broken up, and the best way to do that was to get her focus on someone else. Someone like Ethan, who had a secure job, a planned future, and who treated her like gold. Okay, so maybe there weren’t many sparks between them, but over time, that could change. She just needed to see him a few more times.
Tonight, though, was not one of those times. Because the man getting out of the boat wasn’t Ethan.
“Hi, Gandy,” Jillian said. “Nice to see you.”
Ethan’s uncle climbed up the stairs to the deck and gave Jillian a little nod. “Nice to see you, too. I’m hoping you guys have the chili again tonight.”
“We do indeed. My mom’s secret recipe.”
Gandy grinned. “It’s my favorite. I keep trying to get her to share the recipe, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to just come here every week and order it.”
“I’ll bring a bowl right out. Do you want to sit out here?”
“You know I do.”
Gandy wasn’t much of a social guy. He preferred to sit out on the deck alone, or with one or two of his fishing buddies. He was here, as he’d said, every single week, and in all that time, Jillian had never had a conversation with him that went much deeper than what was on the menu. He was a nice guy, but more of a loner than anything else.
Tonight, though, she wanted to pick his brain. Find a way to get him to tell her everything he knew about Ethan. Maybe because she figured if she was concentrating on Ethan, then she wasn’t thinking about Zach. Her ex-fiancé was a problem she didn’t know how to solve, one that only seemed more complicated after the conversation with her father. The best choice, Jillian had decided, was to move on.
“So, Gandy,” Jillian said, grabbing a glass and a pitcher of ice water from the serving station on the deck, “I met your nephew the other day.”
“He mentioned he’d taken you out on the town. Ethan’s a good kid. Good kid. My brother’s kind of an ass, but hey, you don’t get to pick your parents.” Gandy winked. “I always did like Ethan, though. If I ever found a woman foolish enough to marry me, I would have liked to have a kid like him.”
“Does he come out to visit often?”
“He used to, when he was no higher than a grasshopper.” Gandy put out a hand about knee high. “And when he was a teenager, wanting to get away from the parents. I told you, my brother’s kind of an ass. I would have rather spent the summer here than in that crazy California with him. But now that Ethan’s all grown up, he’s not by as much.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Yup. Though maybe now with a girl he likes here, he might be back more.”
That made Jillian smile. It was nice to have a guy who was interested enough in her to journey across the country to see her. Maybe this thing with Ethan could become something bigger. If so, did she want more?
Gandy nodded toward the kitchen. “Weren’t you going to get me some chili?”
“Oh, yes, sorry.” She laid the pitcher on the serving station, then ducked inside and headed for the simmering pot of chili on the stove. She ladled some up into a big mug sitting on a plate, topped it with a little diced jalapeno and some shredded cheese, then laid a
couple packages of crackers on the side.
Grace looked over and chuckled. “Gandy’s here tonight?”
“Of course,” Jillian said.
“Isn’t he that boy’s uncle? The one you went out with the other night?”
“Yes. And he said he thinks maybe Ethan will visit more now that he’s met me.” Jillian grinned.
“He sounds like a nice young man,” Grace said. “I’m glad you went out with him. Does he treat you the way you deserve?”
“He does. Our dates have been…nice.” Though he hadn’t been much on communication since their most recent date. A few texts, one quick phone call. She supposed he was busy with work, but for a guy who seemed so interested the first night, he sure wasn’t acting that way now. Maybe he was the kind who was better in person than from a distance.
Then, as if she’d conjured him up just by thinking about him, her phone buzzed, and a text from Ethan appeared on the screen.
Thinking of you. Looking forward to seeing you when I’m back in town tomorrow afternoon.
She smiled. Same here. There’s going to be a beach party, if you want to go.
Sounds like a plan. See you at noon?
She agreed, then tucked her phone back in her pocket. “And we have another date tomorrow.”
“That’s awesome, honey,” her mother said, drawing her into a hug. “I’m so thrilled for you.”
Jillian knew she should be thrilled, too. Ethan liked her—liked her enough to tell Gandy that he liked her, and he was taking her out again. He was the kind of guy she wanted. Smart, successful, handsome.
But her gaze kept straying to the front of the restaurant, to where Mr. Wrong was on a stage, singing about broken hearts and reminding her of a love she was doing her level best to forget.
# # #
Summer might have been over, with most of the tourists back on the mainland at their regular jobs, but the party hadn’t stopped on Fortune’s Island. Kincaid and Darcy were hosting a beach party, inviting pretty much everyone who lived there. Sort of a pre-wedding fiesta, they’d said, an event where they could have fun and chat with their friends without all the hoopla of the wedding.