by Shirley Jump
“So this guy, who holds our careers in his hands, has been dating Jillian, and now hates your guts?”
“Probably.”
“Well, that sucks.” Duff rolled his eyes. “What the hell are we supposed to do?”
“Our jobs,” Zach said. There really wasn’t any other option besides doing their best at the audition. Musicians were known to be a little crazy, and maybe that was what Ethan would chalk the whole thing up to. Hopefully. “Let’s just hope we perform well enough that he forgets all about the rest.”
Duff’s gaze strayed to the drums, guitars and amps, all set up and ready to go. He was quiet for a long time, tension lining his face, hunching his shoulders. “All right. But I seriously think you should consider wearing a paper bag over your head when you perform.”
Zach laughed. That was what he liked about Duff. He was the kind of guy who could roll with the punches and make the best out of a shitty situation. “Might not be such a bad idea.”
“I’m gonna go get some ice water and bring some back for you. Wet the whistle, make that voice of yours shine.” Duff gave his friend a quick pat on the back. “And you’re right. We’re talented as hell, and Ethan would be an idiot if he didn’t see that right off. I don’t want to sign with an idiot, so let’s hope he’s smart.”
“Thanks, Duff.”
“Anytime, dude. We got each other’s backs.”
Zach nodded. They’d been friends for a long, long time. The best friend he’d ever had. If there was one person Zach was grateful to have in his corner, it was Duff. “We do.”
The Love Shack wasn’t due to open for a couple more hours, but Grace, Whit and a sous chef had come in early to make food for the event. As Duff headed off to get the ice water, Whit ambled over to Zach and gave him a smile. “Good luck today, son.”
“Thanks, Whit. I appreciate it.” His own father wasn’t here—not that Zach should be surprised. Late last night, after one too many beers with the guys, he had texted his father and asked him to come to the audition. He hadn’t gotten a reply.
That was assuming Ethan showed up, and there even was an audition. If he was any kind of professional, he wouldn’t let what happened with Jillian get in the way, but Zach wasn’t holding out a lot of hope. He had punched the guy, after all, and that wasn’t exactly the best way to make an impression. The nerves in his gut quadrupled.
“You guys are talented,” Whit said. “Any producer who doesn’t sign you is a fool.”
“Thanks.” Zach grinned. Whit always knew the right thing to say, at just the right time. The other man’s confidence in the band eased some of the tension inside Zach. “Though I think you’re a bit biased.”
“Maybe so. But I’m also smart.” Whit tapped his temple. “And I know a good thing when I see it. My daughter does, too, even if she’s a little slow to realize it.”
Just the mention of Jillian caused an ache deep inside Zach. A thousand times, his gaze had gone to the door, hoping she would come to the audition. He’d picked his phone up ten thousand other times, looking for a good luck text or a reply to the one he’d sent her this morning. Nothing.
The best thing he could do—hell, the only thing he could do—was exactly what he’d told Duff. His job. The rest would either work out or it wouldn’t. Zach wasn’t normally a man given to praying, but today, he was going to take all the help he could get.
# # #
Carter showed up at Jillian’s apartment a little after one. He stood there, with his don’t-hate-me grin and his car keys in his hand. “You ready?”
“For what?” It was Sunday, and she had slept in late, then puttered around her apartment, doing laundry, dusting shelves. Anything to keep busy and keep her mind off Zach, Ethan and music.
“To go watch Zach’s audition,” Carter said. “And if you’re not too much of a scaredy-cat, get up on that stage and sing a little yourself.”
Yeah, well, she was a scaredy-cat, and she didn’t want to audition. Neither did she want to see Zach. Going there to support him would send a message she wasn’t so sure she wanted to send. And then there was the potential drama that could result from being in the same room as Zach and Ethan. Better to stay home and scrub the shower tiles or something. Uh-huh. That was her plan.
Even if a major part of her ached to go watch Zach. To show him that she was behind him and knew he could rock this performance.
“How did you know Ethan offered me an audition?”
Carter came inside, and shut the door behind him. He followed her into the kitchen, where she poured two cups of coffee and handed one to her brother. “I didn’t know about that,” Carter said. “I thought you should create one of your own. But hey, if the record company guy offered you an audition, then you’d be totally insane not to do that.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I want a record contract.” She sat down at the small kitchen table and wrapped her hands around her warm mug. “I’m kinda happy here.”
“Which is why you broke up with Zach, enrolled in college, and changed your life.” Carter put up his hands. “Tell me I’m wrong, but those are all signs that point to wanting something more.”
“But this is Zach’s audition. Zach’s dream. I can’t go in there and make it mine.”
“Who says you’re taking over his dream? If The Outsiders are good enough, they’ll get a contract. If they’re not, they won’t, regardless of whether you are there or not.” Carter took a sip of coffee, then put the cup back on the table. “Either way, you won’t know if you don’t try.”
She hated that Carter was the logical one. Especially when she was an emotional mess who didn’t know whether to go right or left. “You’re right. Of course.”
He grinned. “And that’s why I’m the wiser older brother.”
Jillian laughed. “Okay, wiser older brother, riddle me this, then. Why are you here two weekends in a row? You took an actual vacation last weekend, then turned right around and came back here Friday afternoon.”
“I came back for Darcy’s wedding.”
Jillian arched a brow in disbelief.
“Okay, for Darcy’s wedding and…a little more vacation.” Carter got to his feet, dumped the rest of his coffee down the drain, then rinsed his cup. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been feeling burned out and tired lately. And I’m giving Brian’s offer to open our own firm some serious thought.”
“That’s fabulous.” That would mean Carter was here more often, and even though her brother sometimes drove her crazy, she loved having him around.
“And that means, my scaredy-cat sister, that you have to keep your end of the bargain.”
“Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. I thought the deal was, I sing in public and you open your own business here. Not think about it. Actually take the leap.”
Carter shrugged. “My thing takes more planning. While yours,” he tick-tocked his keys back and forth, “is just a couple miles away. So go get dressed in something that doesn’t say you just rolled out of bed—”
“Hey!”
“—and grab your guitar and get in my car. Because you know you really want this opportunity. All you needed was a kick in the butt to go after it.”
She stood there a minute, having a staring contest with her brother. “I hate you.”
“Good. You should.” He grinned, because he knew he’d won the argument. “Now go get your crap together. I don’t have all day to sit around and wait for you. I have a few hours of my weekend off left and as soon as I finish listening to your caterwauling, I intend to spend the rest of my time on the beach with some hot girl in a bikini.”
Jillian rolled her eyes. “You are incorrigible.”
“Aw, you’re so sweet. That’s what Mom says, too.” He gave her a little shove. “Now go.”
A few minutes later, Jillian was in Carter’s car with her guitar and a serious case of nerves. The two-mile drive to The Love Shack seemed to take forever and at least seventy times, she thought about telling C
arter to turn around, pull over, forget about it. When they pulled into the lot, she saw her parents’ car and the van The Outsiders used for carting around their equipment, but no sign of Ethan’s rental.
Maybe he wasn’t going to show. Maybe this was all a waste of time. Maybe—
“I can see you rethinking this whole thing,” Carter said as they got out of his car and started up the walkway. “Let’s get inside before you have a chance to escape…uh, change your mind.”
Jillian laughed. “Remind me again why I put up with you.”
“You have to. We share our DNA.” He grinned, then opened the door for her. She stepped inside the building, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the dimmer light inside. Jillian stowed her guitar by the door, then headed over to the stage to where Zach was bent over the amp, adjusting some settings.
“Hey,” she said.
He brightened when he turned and saw her. “Hey yourself. Did you come to watch our audition?”
“Sort of. I also came…” He’d know soon enough, so she might as well say it. “…to audition myself. Ethan overheard me singing one day and asked me to come in and sing for him this afternoon.”
“That’s great, Jillian. I mean it.”
“How do you do it? Get up there and sing in front of everyone?” She sat on the edge of the stage and drew her knees up to her chest. Zach lowered himself into the space beside her. Their hips met, a comfortable connection, the kind that came from spending years with a person and being used to being part of their space.
“You’re going to think I’m crazy.”
“You’re creative. It comes with the territory.” She grinned.
“I agree.” He echoed her smile, then sobered. “When I get up on stage, I don’t worry about singing to all the people in the room. I don’t even focus on everyone. I focus on one person, imagine I am only singing to one person in the world.” His gaze met hers. “You.”
She looked away, overwhelmed by the intensity, the love in his eyes. “Zach…”
“Just sing to one person, Jillian. Let your heart speak through your guitar and your voice, and you’ll be fine. You’ll knock it out of the park.”
She drew in a long breath. “Maybe. I’m not sure I have the same passion for performing as you do. I mean, you live and breathe music. It wasn’t until the last couple years that I realized music…filled something in me. I could write a song and get all these feelings onto the page, and when I sang it, it was like letting them all go again. But now I really want to study what it all means, how it’s constructed. To learn about music before I do anything with it, if that makes sense.”
“I understand that. I think music is complicated and beautiful and something different to all of us.” He shrugged. “To me, it’s an extension of who I am. Like an extra arm or something. Heck, most of my life is in my songs. Almost everything I’ve ever felt about you is in there, too.”
“Almost everything?”
He ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath. “There was a pain I felt when I realized I had really lost you that ran so deep and so raw, it was the one thing I couldn’t sing about. It’s still there, Jillian, right here.” He pressed at his chest. “And I can’t even begin to sing it out loud because I’d probably dissolve into a sobbing mess on the stage.”
Did he really still feel that deeply about her? The thought both thrilled and scared her. Maybe there was more left between them than she’d thought. “Oh, you’d never do that.”
He took her hand in both of his and held it tight. “I would. I meant what I said in the other song. The music doesn’t mean the same to me without you. Nothing does.”
“Zach—”
“I sold the Mustang to Harvey. Paid part of it to get your car fixed the rest of the way—”
“You shouldn’t have—”
“Already done. I made enough to buy a practical junker and then put the rest of the money into the bank. It’s not enough to buy a house, or even a corner of a house yet, but I’ll be saving more as we go along.”
She heard the word we, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t scare her as much. “You sold your car?”
He nodded. “And I have an interview on Monday to work construction. Even if this audition works out, there’s no guarantee I’ll make enough money to support us. I want to be sure of my future, and a job is the best way to do that.”
“But, Zach, what about your band and—”
He turned to her. “Nothing matters to me as much as you do. I was really slow to learn that lesson, but I know it now. I want you more than I want a record deal or a sports car.”
The door to The Love Shack opened, sending a long beam of sunshine down the wooden floor. Ethan strode in, wearing sunglasses. He paused in the entry, took off the glasses and stowed them in the pocket of his suit jacket. He took one look at Jillian sitting beside Zach, and his face went cold. “You guys ready?”
Zach got to his feet and looked over at Duff, AJ and Ian. The other three nodded. “Yup,” Zach said.
Jillian moved over to one of the tables in the back of the room, sitting next to Carter. Ethan never even looked her way. Zach and the band got into place, but before they could start, the door to The Love Shack opened again.
Zach’s parents and his brother Keith stood in the opening, as though they were unsure they should enter. Zach’s face broke into a smile, and he waved at them. His father nodded, and the three of them sat at the table beside Jillian’s. Grace and Whit came out of the kitchen, and leaned against the wall to watch.
Zach drew in a deep breath, then raised his guitar and began a countdown. A second later, he began to sing “You Are The Everything.”
She had seen Zach perform hundreds of times. She knew all the words to all his songs, could predict every note. But she’d never seen him like this, with a renewed confidence, strength, leadership. He was in charge of the band, and it showed in the way he performed, and the others followed his example.
“He’s really good,” Carter whispered to her. Jillian just nodded, entranced by the sound.
Zach’s voice sounded clearer, stronger, as he sang the song he had written for her so many years ago. His gaze locked on hers and never let go, and the lyrics seemed to fill the space between them, rushing in like the tide. “You are the everything,” he sang. “Everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever need.”
She thought about him selling the car. Interviewing for a job. Starting that savings account. Was it all a temporary change, or was Zach truly in it for the long haul?
The song came to an end, and Zach strummed the first few chords to a Train cover song they often performed. Ethan got to his feet and put up a hand to stop them from singing more. “I’ve heard enough. Thanks, guys.”
Zach’s father started clapping. “Awesome job. Awesome.” His mother and brother joined in, along with Jillian’s parents. Jillian smiled at Zach, and gave him a thumbs-up. He smiled back, that special ah-shucks smile she loved so much.
Ethan turned to the back of the room. “So…are you going to sing?”
Everything about his demeanor was cold, business-like. As if they’d never dated. She wondered if maybe she was wasting her time here, and should just forget the whole thing. Carter nudged her but she shook her head. No, not going to do it. Just going to sneak out of here and—
But then Zach came down off the stage, crossed to grab her guitar and then hand it to her. “Of course she’s going to sing,” he said to Jillian, his eyes never leaving hers. “Because she has a voice that the world needs to hear.”
She put up a hand. “Zach, I can’t. I…”
“You’ve got this.” He captured her hand with his, then met her gaze with his own and held it for a long moment. “You’ve got this, JillyBean.”
There was something in his eyes or in his voice that whispered the confidence she needed. She nodded, then drew in a breath and crossed to the stage. The rest of the band had left, and were settled at one of the round tables. E
than stayed where he was, standing in the center of the room. He scrolled through his phone while he waited for her to set up.
Yeah, maybe this was a bad idea. Clearly, Ethan wasn’t happy that she had broken up with him. She started to say forget it when she caught Zach watching her. He gave her that smile she loved. You’ve got this.
She strummed a chord. The wrong chord. She cleared her throat and apologized into the mic. So loud, the people in the room jumped. Zach moved into her line of vision again and waved a calming hand that said, Slow down, you can do this.
Just sing to one person. Pour your heart out to one person.
Her gaze skipped over the room, then caught on seven letters, written big and bold and stapled to the wall. Her name, in Zach’s handwriting, circled by a heart, on a dollar bill that was freshly hung on the lover’s wall. All these years, Zach had never put her name up there, scoffing at the legend. But there it was, public and loud, and for some reason, that made her believe. In herself. In him. In the impossible.
She tried again. This time, she hit the right chord. She closed her eyes, leaned in toward the mic, then began to sing, pretending she was on her rock and the only audience she had was the gulls and the ocean. But as the words flowed, her mental image shifted. The gulls flew away, the ocean receded, and she saw only Zach, with that lopsided smile and the deep brown eyes that warmed her like no other.
Jillian sang about risking her heart on love, then losing it, then finding it again. She sang the song that had been building inside her for months, the song she had been working on all those hot afternoons on the rock, the song she had never sung before, for anyone.
When she was done, Jillian stood there a moment longer, eyes closed. It wasn’t until the sound of wild applause filtered into her mind that she finally opened her eyes and realized she had done it. And given the response, done it well.
Her mother and father rushed over and enveloped her in a hug. “That was amazing,” Grace said. “Absolutely amazing!”