by Mari Carr
It was as if her heart turned on a flashing neon light proclaiming the fact, and rather than panic and fear, she simply felt right. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to express her feelings because she wasn’t sure she’d manage to convince him they were genuine. There’d been too much other shit today and she still had about twenty pounds of emotional baggage she needed to dump.
Her heart sank when she recognized Joel’s vehicle parked on the street in front of her house. “Shit.”
She glanced at the front porch and saw her ex perched on the porch swing, waiting for her.
“Joel.”
Trey’s face darkened. “What the fuck is he doing here?”
She shrugged. “No idea, but it can’t be good.”
“Looks like the guy wants to pick a fight. Lucky for him, he came to the right place.”
Ellie put her hand on Trey’s arm as he pulled into the driveway. “No. Trey, please. Promise me you’ll let me handle this and you won’t start throwing punches.”
Trey turned off the car. The look on his face wasn’t comforting. He was pissed off and not happy about her request. “Ellie—”
“I swear to you. I have no feelings for Joel that don’t begin and end with disgust. I’ll make that clear to him. You have to trust me.”
Trey sighed. “I do trust you. It’s that prick I don’t—”
“He can’t hurt me. Not anymore.” For the first time in her life, Ellie believed those words.
Trey nodded slowly and then got out of the car. Ellie followed, her stomach in knots.
Joel rose as they approached the porch, obvious surprise written on his face when he saw her with Trey. Seeing her with another man had taken some wind out of his sails and Ellie was amused to see him floundering.
“Hey, Ellie, Donovan.”
“What are you doing here, Joel?” Trey’s question was laced with menace.
So much for this ending peacefully.
Joel looked confused by Trey’s hostility. Ellie recognized when the light went on in her ex’s head.
“You two an item?”
Ellie nodded. “Trey and I are dating, if that’s what you’re asking. Is there something you wanted?” The sooner Joel got out of here, the better.
“I was hoping I could talk to you. Alone.”
Trey climbed the stairs to her porch, his stance threatening as hell. Ellie quickly followed him, placing herself between the two men.
“There’s nothing you have to say to me that you can’t say in front of Trey.” She hoped her words would appease the raging bull standing behind her.
Joel looked at her, his expression serious, almost contrite. “Just for a minute, Ellie.” Then he added a word she couldn’t recall him ever saying before. “Please.”
She sighed and decided, for better or worse, it was time to clear the air with Joel. Time to set the record straight so that she could close this chapter in the book and move forward. With Trey. Problem was convincing her new lover to leave them alone for a few minutes.
She turned to look at Trey. Her face must have betrayed what she was going to request because his eyes narrowed.
“No,” he muttered.
“One minute. Just one. I promise.”
Trey’s jaw clenched and she suspected she’d pay dearly for her appeal. She’d pushed him too far all damn day, starting with her freaking panic attack this morning. She’d find a way to make it all up to him. Somehow. For now, she needed closure on the past.
“I’ll be just inside,” Trey said loudly, more for Joel’s benefit than hers. He took her keys, unlocked the door, and walked inside. She noticed he left it ajar, but she didn’t mind. She wanted him to hear what she had to say. Maybe in some way, it would help her make amends for her mistakes and prove to him her feelings were genuine.
“Joel,” she started.
“I want you back.”
Her ex blurted the words so quickly, they took her aback.
“What?”
Joel put his hands in his pockets, looking very uncomfortable. “I made a mistake. I never should have let you go. I’m leaving Dawn.”
Ellie stood silent for a moment, stunned speechless. Did he really think he could cheat on her, make her life a living hell, come back when he got bored with her replacement, and think she’d say all was forgiven? Either he was the biggest idiot on earth or he thought she was. She wasn’t sure which option annoyed her more.
“Have you been drinking?” she asked, thinking his insane declaration couldn’t possibly be made with a sound mind.
“No. Dammit, Ellie. I’m sorry. Okay. I’m really sorry.”
“Fine. You’re sorry. That’s great. You should be and you definitely owed me that apology.”
“You’re still mad. I can tell.”
A burst of laughter escaped before she could call it back. “No, Joel. I’d have to have some sort of feelings invested in you to feel anger. Truth is, I feel nothing.”
Joel’s face darkened. “And I suppose now you’re going to tell me you feel something for Trey Donovan?”
She nodded and smiled. “I feel everything for Trey.”
Joel scoffed. “Jesus. You’re living in a fantasy world.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Joel walked to the edge of the porch and leaned against the railing. It was cocky pose—one she’d seen him make a thousand times before. As she looked at him, she wondered what she’d ever seen in Joel Roberts. “Newsflash, Ellie. He’s black. Why don’t you open your eyes and face the facts? Doing it with a black guy is a white girl’s fantasy, but it’s not like you’re going to make a lifetime out of it.”
Ellie’s body went numb in the face of his prejudice. “Who the hell are you?” she asked. “What freaking decade are you living in?”
Joel laughed condescendingly, dismissing her question and anger. “You don’t wanna live your life like that. People judging you all the time.”
She’d spent nearly two years of her life with this man and she’d never once seen the true evil that resided in his soul. “The only people who would judge me over something like that are narrowed-minded idiots and I don’t give a shit what they think or say.”
Joel shrugged. “I know what you’re really thinking. Don’t worry about it, Ellie.”
“Worry about what?”
He stepped forward, his face the very portrait of kindness and caring. “I forgive you.”
Ellie’s head exploded and for a moment, her vision went cloudy with rage. “You? Forgive me?”
For the first time since he’d started his insane speech, Joel appeared to wake up to the fact she was furious.
“Well,” he stammered. “Yeah.”
“For what?” she yelled.
“It’s kind of obvious you and Donovan have had sex.”
Ellie struggled to catch a breath. She’d never been angrier. It was as if she could feel every pulse of the blood through her veins.
“And what business is my sex life to you?”
Trey stood inside the door listening as Joel insulted him and Ellie. Her heated defense of their relationship pleased him. The man had hurt her, but she wasn’t cowering, wasn’t backing down. She was fighting him tooth and nail, and letting her wage this battle on her own was exactly what she needed. At least, that’s what he told himself until Joel’s next words.
“I’m just saying,” Joel continued, “now we’re even. I screwed your boss, you fucked a black guy. You got your revenge, so let’s just move on.”
Trey erupted, swinging the front door open. He took one step onto the porch, ready to rip Ellie’s ex to shreds. He didn’t make it any farther than that before he witnessed Ellie taking a swing at Joel’s face. Her fist connected with the man’s jaw. Hard.
Trey took a perverse pleasure in watching Joel’s head whip around at the impact. Ellie punctuated the punch with a quick kick to Joel’s groin. The man went down like a sack of potatoes.
“Revenge? You think my relationship wi
th Trey is based on revenge?” she screamed. “He’s a hundred times the man you could only wish to be and you aren’t fit to lick his boots. You’re a fucking deceitful, prejudiced shithead and you disgust me. Get off my porch!”
Joel cowered for a minute when it appeared Ellie might kick him again. Trey walked over and held her back.
“Bad form to kick a man when he’s down, even if he does deserve it,” Trey muttered in her ear, wondering if he’d ever seen anything more beautiful than Ellie right now.
“You’re right,” she said. “Get up, Joel. I want to kick you again.”
Joel crawled to the edge of the porch and limped down the stairs, never taking his eyes off Ellie. Trey could almost sympathize with the pain the man must be in. She’d nailed him pretty hard in the nuts. He’d be feeling the effects of that blow for at least a few days.
“Crazy bitch,” Joel muttered loud enough for them to hear as he got to his car.
Ellie started to go after him, but Trey tightened his grip, keeping her on the porch.
“That asshole,” she said, her voice trembling with anger.
Trey watched Joel peel tires as he left, then he grinned. “That was fucking awesome.”
His words, laced with pride and amazement, deflated her fury.
“Yeah, well.” She shrugged off his praise, then lifted her arm. “I hurt my hand.”
He lifted her knuckles to his lips and kissed them. “Come on. We’ll go inside and get some ice.”
They walked to the kitchen together and Trey bid her to sit as he grabbed a towel to make a homemade ice pack. Sitting next to her, he placed her hand, palm down, on the table and laid the ice on top. “I think we’re going to have to change your nickname from Hottie to Slugger.”
She laughed. “I’ll stick with Hottie if it’s all the same to you. Think I’m hanging up my boxing gloves.”
Trey considered Joel’s comments and hoped she wouldn’t be called on to come out swinging again. “You know, we’ve never discussed the race issue.”
“That’s because it isn’t an issue. I love you. Not the color of your skin.”
He felt the same way. “That doesn’t mean other people won’t make comments. What about your family?”
“They’ve met you and they like you.” She rolled her eyes and grinned. “My mom thinks you’re hot.”
Trey chuckled. “My mom thinks you’re too skinny.”
Ellie made a silly face. “Oh my. Maybe we do have an issue after all.”
He ran his hand down her face and shook his head. “No. I don’t think we do.”
Then her words came back to him. Did she know what she’d revealed? “You just said you love me.”
She nodded. “I know. It’s true. I love you, Trey. I’m completely, totally in love with you and I almost let Joel screw that up for me. You’ve spent the last year of your life paying for his mistakes. I can’t understand why you haven’t walked away from me yet.”
“Is that what you want? For me to leave?”
She cupped his cheek, tears flowing down her face. He hated seeing her cry. “God, no. I never want you to leave, but I’m so scared, Trey. Sometimes I feel like I’m paralyzed by this fear and I don’t know how to make it go away.”
He reached up to brush the tears away. “I don’t know what else to do or say, Ellie. Love’s always a risk. All I can do is promise you I’m not going anywhere and try to show you every day how much I care for you.”
“I spent the entire afternoon trying to convince myself I didn’t feel anything for you, that I needed to walk away now before things got too serious and either of us got hurt.”
Trey’s heart skipped a beat at her confession. He wanted to tell her it was too late for that, but she kept speaking.
“Then I realized I’d be devastated without you. You’re my life now. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
He smiled, wondering if he’d ever heard sweeter words in his life.
“If you leave me, I can’t…I don’t know how I’d ever survive.”
He cupped her soft cheek in his hand. “Then I won’t leave and you’ll never have to search for that answer.”
She turned her face and placed a soft kiss in the center of his palm.
For several moments, they sat in silence, reveled in the beauty of their admissions of love.
Ellie broke the silence first. “I’m not sure if it’s the adrenaline from the fight or the knowledge that you participated in a threesome with Jamie and Grace, but I’m so hot right now, I think I’m in danger of spontaneously combusting.”
Trey laughed. “You like the ménage idea, huh?”
She shrugged. “Yes and no.”
“Explain.”
“In theory, it’s hot. In reality, you’re the only man I’m ever going to want in my bed, in my body.”
He smiled and wondered if he’d ever heard a more beautiful declaration. “So where do you wanna do this?”
“Upstairs. I have toys there.”
Trey’s cock went hard at the thought. He rose and grabbed her hand. “Oh hell yeah.”
The moment they entered her bedroom, clothing began to fly. Ellie ripped his shirt in her haste to take it off him. She bent forward and bit his pec. She obviously hadn’t lied about being horny. He’d never seen this wild side of her, but dayum, if he didn’t love it.
Once he’d stripped off her clothes, he picked her up and tossed her in the middle of the bed. “Where are your toys?”
She pointed to the side. “Nightstand. Grab all of them. We’re gonna need them.”
More blood rushed to Trey’s cock at her sexy words. Opening the drawer, he found a sex fiend’s treasure. “Jesus.”
“What can I say? You inspire me. Grace had a sex toy party a couple weeks ago. I just got the stuff yesterday. I’d planned to surprise you on your birthday.”
He started pulling out the toys, tossing them on the bed by her side one at a time. Handcuffs, a remote controlled vibrator, a large dildo and a tube of lubrication hit the mattress. Then he found a butt plug still in its wrapper. He glanced at her and grinned at her blush.
“I remembered the ice on Valentine’s Day. I sort of liked it.”
He shook his head and feigned disappointment. “Only sort of? I must be losing my touch. Guess I’m going to have to rectify that situation.”
She crooked her finger, beckoning him to join her on the bed. “Rectify fast. I’m on fire here.”
He crawled over her body and kissed her. She broke away from his gentle touch, countering it with a nip on his lower lip. Before he could call her to task, she twisted, wrestling him beneath her on the bed. She straddled his hips, pushing his cock into her cunt before he could react.
She was taking control and it was hot as hell. It was also tweaking his inner-dominant.
“Not so fast.” He grasped her hips, moving just as quickly to resume the top position. He shoved her facedown on the bed, placing her beneath him.
“Dammit, Trey.” She struggled, but he held her tightly.
“Hold still.”
She pushed hard and nearly escaped. She wasn’t kidding about the adrenaline. “No. Fuck me. Or better yet, let me fuck you.”
He bent forward and bit her shoulder.
She groaned. “God. Do that again.”
His head was swimming from a serious lack of blood to the brain. It was like every fantasy he’d ever had was suddenly coming to life, manifesting itself in Ellie’s sweet, wicked curves.
He bit her other shoulder. “Kinky or romantic?”
She laughed. “Do you really have to ask?”
He lifted his weight slightly so she could roll over onto her back. He bent down to kiss her. “So you like the idea of a threesome?”
She nodded, her eyes wary. “But I’m not interested in Jamie.”
Trey kissed her. “Grace would kill him and me if I even suggested it. Actually, I have something a little less crowded in mind.”
He reached over an
d picked up the slim vibrator and the tube of lubrication. She trembled beneath him and he watched her nipples pebble. “Trust me?”
“Completely. I always have. I’m afraid I let my fears cloud my vision when it came to that fact.”
He was grateful for her honesty. “Clouds lifted?”
She pointed to her eyes. “Crystal clear. Twenty-twenty.”
He lifted his leg and moved to the side. “Good. Open your legs.”
She obeyed. The juices gathered at the juncture of her thighs proved exactly how much she wanted him, wanted this experience. “Hurry.”
He opened the lubrication and squirted some on his finger. Without hesitation, he pressed the slippery digit into her anus, coating the tight hole. “I think you were a little ambitious with that butt plug, babe.”
She giggled. “Too big?”
He nodded. “Hell yeah.”
“I was thinking maybe you’d want to take me there one day. I figured I should practice and since you’re so big—” She waved her hand around, letting the gesture fill in the blanks.
Trey groaned. “Jesus.” He was on the verge of coming and they hadn’t even begun to play. He pulled his finger out of her ass and coated the vibrator as well. He enjoyed her hiss of pleasure when he slowly pushed the toy inside.
“God,” she breathed, when the toy was seated to the hilt.
“You like that?”
She nodded and he sensed speech was becoming more difficult for her. Nice to know he wasn’t alone in that fact. He grabbed the remote to the vibrator and flipped it to low gear.
She startled, her body jerking at the impact.
Trey moved over her, placing the head of his cock at the entrance to her pussy. “There’s one hole filled. How about we take care of the other?”
“Please,” she whispered.
He didn’t need to hear more. He shoved inside her with one hard, powerful thrust that had him seeing stars. He could feel the vibrations of the toy through the thin membrane inside her and it was driving him insane. He began to move, praying for the strength to prolong this perfect agony.
Ellie reached for his hand and for a moment, he thought she wanted to hold it. She surprised him by taking the remote away from him and turning the toy on high. She screamed as she came and Trey was a goner. Pulse after pulse of come flew from the tip of his cock, the climax rocking him to his very core.