Ned smiles. “I can’t imagine a better time than now,” he says.
“It’s an awfully long story,” I say, warning them.
“We love long stories,” says Ned, “especially after a good meal.” He reaches out a hand and clasps my mother’s, gently, on the table where it rests. The glow—too peaceful, really, to resemble the light and sparkle of a firecracker—has already returned to her face.
We love long stories? I feel like patting them on their heads, so much do they resemble children playing at marriage and parenthood.
Bending my face low over my plate, I poke for one last time at my pie. A movement catches me out of the corner of my eye, then, and I turn my head quickly but it is only the curtains, swept into life by the night wind; a moment later the candles on the table are straying with it, too. I hold back a sigh, knowing that for the second day in a row my premonitions have played me false.
I turn my attention back to the table. Their hands clasped, my mother and Ned are watching me. Attentive, expectant, my audience of two.
So I lay down my fork and knife, and remove the napkin from my lap.
I will tell them about Eric but I will talk most of all about Phillip, about how I loved him and lost him and grieved for him for more than a year. I will tell them how he returned for a spell, naked and silent and slowly starving, to lurk in the shadows and the corners of my apartment, and how now he is gone.
I will speak of how I watch for him yet, but someday no longer will; I will tell them how I have already let him go, with longing but without bitterness or regret, in thankfulness that I knew him and loved him for as long as I did.
As my mother did with the man she loved, and her mother did before her.
I take a deep breath in, pondering where to begin.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Miranda Sherwin, superb stepsister, brilliant editor, and wonderful friend, a woman who brightens the lives of everyone around her, made this book possible.
Sandy Dijkstra, agent extraordinare, worked tirelessly and wrought miracles; Sandra Zane, whose wise voice kept me going more often than I can say, was both friend and guardian angel.
I was lucky in my publishers. Consistently kind and thoughtful, Irwyn Applebaum and Nita Taublib went out of their way to nurture and develop this, a debut novel. My editors are living proof that, contrary to popular belief, line editing is still vigorously practiced in the publishing industry: Stephanie Kip worked hard on the book, and was graceful and patient in her dealings with its author; Emily Heckman’s enthusiasm and unflagging support were a source of great comfort.
My sisters, Yoko and Aiko, are part of me and, as such, inevitably played a large role in the shaping of this work; my father, Shoichi Yoshikawa, taught me the value and wonder of the written word.
Alan Ziegler, in whose class the novel was born, has given me guidance for more than a decade now. Anne Curzan, an insightful reader and a good friend, has helped me on every step of the way.
Simon Gikandi, Suzanne Raitt, Steve Sumida, and Patricia Yaeger inspired me in ways that influenced the novel as well as my dissertation. The English department of the University of Michigan provided the structure that enabled me to pursue both writing and scholarship.
For faith and encouragement during the years it has taken to turn this story into a novel, I am grateful to Sean Baldwin, John Carey, Ioanna Christoforaki, Creighton Don, Victoria Green, Phil Hildebrand, Ken Kurtz, John Merz, Ali Sherwin, Matt Toschlog, and David Wartenweiler.
And last but not least, I owe a special debt to my grandmother, Masako Inoue. Chatty, warm, and almost always cheerful, she could not be further from Kiki’s grandmother, but in telling me stories that have done much to cut across the divide of time and space, she is in many ways the presiding spirit of this work.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
MAKO YOSHIKAWA was born in Princeton, New Jersey, and spent part of her childhood in Tokyo. She has studied literature at Columbia, Oxford, and the University of Michigan, and now lives and writes in New York City.
She is the great-granddaughter of a geisha.
ONE HUNDRED AND ONE WAYS
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 1999 by Mako Yoshikawa.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 98-45483.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. For information address: Bantam Books.
eISBN: 978-0-307-56988-2
Bantam Books are published by Bantam Books, a division of Random House, Inc. Its trademark, consisting of the words “Bantam Books” and the portrayal of a rooster, is Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries. Marca Registrada. Bantam Books, 1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036.
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Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
One Hundred and One Ways Page 30