This was the life he was destined to lead. His mother had said that people in their position didn’t concern themselves with happiness. Looking upon his father’s solemn portrait, he was certain the man would have agreed. It was time that Julian stopped holding out hope for what could never be.
But then his thoughts turned to a pair of fine blue eyes. Simply thinking about Miss Vandenberg made him smile. She amused him, exasperated him, and excited him. She deserved an apology for his actions. He only hoped that this time when he saw her, he would be able to control his desire.
Chapter Thirteen
The next afternoon rain fell in sheets and thunder shook Katrina’s house while she wrote letters home to her family and friends. Her concentration was broken when Wilkins presented her with the unexpected sight of Lyonsdale’s card. A fluttering feeling settled low in her abdomen as she rose from her writing table and brushed out the wrinkles of her blue and yellow muslin gown. She needed to compose herself before he entered the drawing room.
‘Good day, Your Grace,’ she said, dropping into a curtsy. ‘My father is not at home, but at the Chancery. I can relay a message to him if you wish.’
The sight of him in her home was making her babble.
‘Actually, Miss Vandenberg, I came to call on you.’
Certainly she had misheard what he’d said. She glanced at Meg, who wasn’t doing anything to hide her surprise at seeing the Duke of Lyonsdale in the cosy drawing room. When Katrina finally caught her maid’s eye she gestured for her to return to her seat and continue mending.
Awkwardly Lyonsdale cleared his throat. He appeared to be waiting for something—her manners and proper etiquette, probably. He had her so flustered she couldn’t even recall proper protocol.
Walking to the settee and the chairs by the fireplace, she gracefully lowered herself into one of the chairs. ‘Would you care to sit?’
‘Thank you, I would.’ A faint smile softened his features as he sat across from her, looking very masculine on the delicate settee.
When he accepted her offer of tea, she nodded her request to Wilkins. Her butler eyed Lyonsdale, before giving her a crisp nod and leaving the room without closing the door.
She turned her attention back to her guest. ‘I’m surprised you have ventured out on such a dreary day. I must confess I’ve not heard many carriages go by all morning.’
He shifted restlessly on the settee. ‘I had some important matters to attend to. While the roads are a bit treacherous, they are passable.’
The unlit fireplace seemed to hold his interest. When he looked back at her, the tension was palpable.
‘I needed to see you to offer you my apology.’ The words came out stilted, as if he hadn’t said them often. He should have apologised for ignoring her weeks ago.
‘Why are you offering me your apology?’
He leaned closer and they both stole a glance at Meg. Thankfully her maid appeared occupied with her mending. He licked his lips and Katrina almost slid off her chair, remembering the brief feel of those lips brushing against hers.
‘I need to apologise for what occurred in my library,’ he whispered.
There were many things this man could apologise for, and he was choosing to apologise for their almost kiss?
She was mortified that she had believed him to be as attracted to her as she was to him. It would be horrid to hear him admit he hadn’t intended to kiss her. Dear God, maybe she was the one who had moved her lips up to his!
‘Let us not speak of it again,’ she whispered back.
His brow wrinkled. ‘I fear I have offended you, and that was not my intention.’
‘You have not.’
‘Are you certain?’
This was torture. Did he have to go on? ‘I assure you there is no need to speak of it.’
He lowered his chin and licked his lips again. ‘Miss Vandenberg, I feel a need to be frank.’
‘Please do not.’ Could not the floor open up and swallow her, just this once?
He kept his voice low. ‘I did not wish to insult you, but you stir something inside me.’ A pained look crossed his face.
The breath she was holding was released with a whoosh, and she held her stomach to steady the butterflies inside.
‘You wanted to kiss me?’
‘I thought that was very apparent.’
‘But you just apologised.’
‘Because I insulted your honour with my action.’ He rubbed the back of his neck and eyed her sideways. ‘You pulled away from me in my library. Did you want me to kiss you?’
How could she answer that and not sound wanton?
‘Did you?’ he prodded.
She was struggling to find a response when Wilkins arrived with the tea tray. He placed the tray on the table between them and quietly left the room, once again leaving the door open.
‘Oh, look! The tea is here,’ she said.
‘So it is.’ He shifted in his seat and then straightened. ‘How fortuitous,’ he said dryly.
It was taking quite a bit of effort to hide her relief. ‘Tea?’
‘Yes.’
‘Milk and sugar?’
‘Neither, thank you.’
Katrina glanced at him in surprise.
‘I don’t enjoy my tea sweet,’ he offered.
‘Apparently,’ she replied, handing him his cup.
He looked over at Meg and then back at her, and then placed his cup and saucer on the table. He kept his voice low. ‘Aside from offering my apologies to you, I also have another reason for calling on you today.’
‘Which is...?’
‘While I was out this morning I saw this and thought you might enjoy it.’ He held out a wrapped package she hadn’t noticed he had been holding when he entered.
‘You know I cannot accept it,’ she said, pouring a splash of milk into her own cup.
‘Please—think of it as a way for me to extend my thanks for the book you sent to my grandmother.’
‘Or a peace offering?’
Amusement sparkled in his eyes. ‘If you like.’
She hesitantly placed her cup on the table and took the package. As she unwrapped it her eyes widened. ‘Frankenstein. I want to read this.’
‘I thought you might. You were looking at it the day we met at Hatchards.’
Her hands fell to her lap, still holding the book. ‘You remember that?’
He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. ‘I also remember your maid’s love of gothic tales, so you might want to consider hiding it from her.’
Thunder boomed in the distance.
‘That is probably a wise suggestion.’
‘I thought so.’
‘Have you read it?’
He shook his head and leaned back. ‘No. However, I purchased a copy for myself as well and thought to begin it tonight.’
This time thunder shook the room, and Katrina glanced at the closest window. Rain poured down the panes, obstructing the view of the street. ‘It does appear to be an ideal day to read such a tale. It would be a shame not to take advantage of this atmosphere. Would you like to begin reading it now?’
‘You mean together?’
‘Certainly. Unless I am keeping you from a pressing engagement?’
‘I’m intrigued by your suggestion. How do you propose we begin?’
‘I suppose each of us could read silently, if you find that acceptable?’ It might prove difficult to concentrate on the words if she had to listen to his deep voice read them.
He nodded, and then his eyes widened as she lifted her delicate chair and placed it next to the settee.
‘I do not believe I have ever witnessed a lady moving furniture before. You do have other servants, do you not?’
‘Of course. But I am fully capable of moving this chair, and it would have delayed our enjoyment if we’d had to wait for them.’ She settled herself into the chair and smiled over at him.
‘You do realise you could sit here on the settee with me? There i
s room for both of us,’ he said.
Thunder boomed again. ‘No, I do not believe that would be a wise idea.’ He smelled heavenly—like clean soap and leather.
‘You are next to me now.’
But this way there was no risk of her caressing his arm or making a cake of herself in any other way. ‘I am already settled quite nicely here. Please—won’t you open to the first page so we may begin?’
Lyonsdale arched his brow, appearing every inch the aristocrat he was. ‘So I shall be the one to hold the book?’
‘You are the man. I thought it was your chivalrous obligation to hold the book while I read.’
‘But I am a duke, so I thought you would be holding the book for me,’ he said with amusement in his eyes.
‘Yes, but I am an American. We believe that every man is created equal.’
His gaze raked her body. ‘But you are not a man.’
‘You’ve noticed.’
‘It has not escaped my notice.’
Katrina found the room suddenly quite warm, and she smiled at him through her lashes.
He gave an exaggerated sigh. ‘Very well. I will be your chivalrous bookstand.’
She handed him the first book of the three-volume edition. ‘I will be very grateful.’
‘Will you show me how grateful?’
‘What did you have in mind? I could make you more tea?’
‘Not exactly what I was thinking.’
‘I shall have biscuits sent up.’
By the time Wilkins arrived with a plate of biscuits Katrina was leaning over the armrest of the settee, her chin almost resting on Lyonsdale’s shoulder. The Duke was actually reclining back on the sofa in a most inelegant pose, with his legs crossed. Their heads were almost touching and they were reading from the same book, completely unaware of the butler’s presence.
The two engrossed readers remained that way for over an hour. When they finally stopped reading for the day Lyonsdale closed the book and stared straight ahead, chewing his lower lip. It was proving impossible for Katrina to take her eyes off that soft skin.
‘I must confess I have never read anything quite like that in my life,’ he commented, still appearing very relaxed in his reclined pose.
He twisted his head towards her and she rushed her gaze up to meet his. There was a twinkle in his green eyes, and she was positive he had caught her pining for his lips.
‘Have you?’ he asked.
‘Hmm...’ she managed to utter thoughtfully, not having any notion of what he’d said.
Lyonsdale grinned. ‘I asked if you’d ever read anything like this. I certainly haven’t.’
‘No, I’ve haven’t either. Thank you for purchasing it for me.’
The rain still pelted against the windowpanes and the room echoed with the soft ticking of the mantel clock. He leaned his head closer to her.
Oh, dear, he was going to kiss her!
Katrina’s breath caught in her throat and she spun her head towards Meg.
Her wonderfully discreet maid still appeared engrossed in her needlework.
‘Meg, perhaps you would like to get some tea for yourself,’ she called out.
Raising her head from her mending, Meg shifted her gaze between her mistress and the Duke. She had been Katrina’s maid since Katrina was fifteen and Meg twenty-six. They had been together almost ten years, and Katrina knew her well enough to see that Meg wasn’t certain if she should leave Katrina alone with Lyonsdale.
Katrina gave her an encouraging nod and Meg placed her mending aside and slowly stood.
‘I will not be long,’ Meg said, curtsying and leaving the room without closing the door.
When Katrina turned back to Lyonsdale she noticed his satisfied grin. ‘I simply sent her for some tea because she has been sitting by that window for hours. She needed a respite.’
He raised both his hands. ‘I did not say a word.’
‘Would you care for more tea?’
His gaze dropped to her lips. ‘What I really want is to kiss you before your maid returns.’
Pointing her finger at him, Katrina let out an exasperated breath. ‘I did not send her away so you could kiss me.’
His brow wrinkled in confusion. ‘You truly do not want me to kiss you?’
She should never have sent Meg away. Lyonsdale was much too charming. Kissing him would be a great mistake. They had no future together. What if his kisses made her lose her breath? What would she do then?
With the tips of his fingers he gently raised her chin. ‘Tell me now, before your maid returns. Will you allow me to kiss you?’
Oh, how she longed to know what his kisses would feel like. Losing her ability to speak, Katrina simply nodded her head. His lips curved into a slow smile as he traced her lower lip with his thumb. Then he lowered his head and kissed her softly.
The simple touch of his lips against hers left Katrina wanting more.
* * *
Julian knew from the moment he stroked Katrina’s tempting lower lip that stopping at one kiss would be close to impossible. As it was, it took all his effort not to pull her on top of him after one innocent kiss. Shifting his head, he nipped her mouth until her lips parted. She tasted like sweet tea and something wonderful.
With her hand tentatively resting on his chest, she hesitated a moment before deepening the kiss. This was heaven.
She was kissing him back, gently exploring his mouth. His cravat was growing tight, along with his breeches. He needed to stop, but it was painful to think he had to release her from his arms. Reluctantly, he pulled his head back.
Her eyes were still closed, and her lips held a faint smile. He was about to kiss her again when her lashes fluttered open, revealing eyes that were his favourite shade of blue. Transfixed by the sensuous sight she made, Julian knew at that moment that he never wanted Miss Vandenberg to kiss anyone else.
‘I thought you said just one kiss,’ she uttered breathlessly.
‘Forgive me. I will strive to do better next time,’ he teased.
‘I believe you are much too confident in your charms.’ She smiled as she lowered her hand from his chest and placed it on her lap.
‘Perhaps I am.’ He picked up a loose tendril of her hair and rubbed the silky lock between his fingers before hooking it over her ear. ‘It was a pleasure reading with you.’
‘I enjoyed it thoroughly.’
That smile of hers warmed him even further. ‘How long do you anticipate remaining in London?’
She gave a slight shrug. ‘It is difficult to tell. A few months, I suppose. Hopefully the negotiations between our two countries will progress smoothly.’
The notion of her leaving and his never seeing her again was burning like acid in his gut. Soon he would approach Morley about his daughter. Then his life would be spent devoted to his responsibilities in the company of a woman he was indifferent towards. Deep down he knew he would never feel as happy as he did at this very moment with Miss Vandenberg. He didn’t want the feeling to end. Not now, anyway.
‘I have a proposition for you.’ Even before the words were out of his mouth he couldn’t believe he was actually going to ask her. He needed to spend less time in Hart’s company. ‘Would you consider finishing the book with me?’
‘You mean continue to read it together?’
‘Yes. I realise it is highly irregular. But you were the one to originally suggest it. You once told me you have no intention of marrying an Englishman. And a man in my position must marry a woman from the highest levels of English Society. But you must admit we do enjoy each other’s company. I see no harm in spending some more time together before our lives change course.’
She bit her lip. ‘Even as an American I know it would not be proper. My reputation would be ruined.’
‘I assure you we would see each other in secret. No one would ever know.’ He took her hand in his and placed it over his heart. ‘On my honour, I would not do anything to jeopardise your reputation.’
Sh
e leaned towards him and a mischievous sparkle lit her eyes. ‘Then it would be our secret?’
He liked the idea of sharing something only with her. It felt...intimate. ‘Yes. It would be our secret.’
This was an ideal solution to his problem. It would be easier for him to proceed with marrying Lady Mary if thoughts of Miss Vandenberg weren’t floating through his head all the time. He’d wager that familiarity would lead to boredom. The more time he spent with her, the more quickly he would realise she was not that remarkable. It made perfect sense.
There was just one more thing that would make this arrangement perfect. ‘And when we are alone together you can call me Julian.’
She eyed him sideways and he thought she was going to refuse, until another mischievous smile crossed her lips. ‘Very well, Julian. Then you must call me Katrina.’
He knew in his bones that from this moment on she would always be Katrina to him.
Her body appeared to dance with excitement as she shifted in her seat. ‘Do you promise not to tell a soul?’ she asked.
They grinned at each other like two children conspiring to steal all the Christmas treats.
‘I promise. And you? You must also promise not to share this with anyone.’
‘My lips are sealed,’ she said through a smile. ‘Fortunately for you I have a strong desire to know how this story ends.’
Chapter Fourteen
Three nights later, Katrina noticed two things about the Whitfields’ impressive entrance hall. The first was that her drawing room could easily fit inside it. The second was that the large black and white marble floor resembled one large chessboard, which was appropriate since the happenings of the ton always appeared to be a strategic game.
She had not seen Julian since he had called on her and proposed their secret pact. It felt like weeks, although she knew it had only been days. He’d said he would call again when he was not busy with his affairs at Westminster. She did not want to interfere with his duties, but if this continued it would take them over a month to finish reading the book.
Sarah tapped her wrist. ‘Do not look to your left,’ she whispered into Katrina’s ear. ‘Lyonsdale is standing by the staircase and has eyed you very intently from your slippers to your hair. You cannot tell me that man does not have an interest in you.’
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