by Vi Voxley
Her desire was obvious, and when he bent down to claim her lips, she didn’t move to pull away. Leiya’s full, pink lips opened hungrily for him, kissing him back with passion he’d never experienced before. Her slender, soft hands tugged at his jacket, pulling herself upwards, pressing her body against his like he knew she wanted. Like he wanted as well.
She tasted better than he could ever have imagined. It was like she was kissing away every memory he had of kissing anyone else. This one simply overshadowed them, wild and furious and desperate. Her tongue tasted sweet and her lips were soft under his. She moaned into his mouth, barely noticing she’d done so or she probably would have stopped. Her mouth didn’t leave his until she had to pull back to breathe, leaving him with the difficult task of merely looking at her. The image of Leiya, with her lips red from his kiss and her eyes clouded over, was almost enough to break his will. She swallowed hard, trembling.
The moment was over. He released her back on the floor, and Leiya slowly untangled her hands from the folds of his jacket. When she stepped away, the regret was even more plainly obvious than it had been before. And still she denied herself. That seemed final to Faren. If she could fight passion like that, fight the bond and its pull that were so obvious – then she truly, deeply had to hate him.
The shuttled landed with a thud, making Leiya nearly lose her balance again. For a moment Faren thought she might throw herself back into his arms on purpose, but apparently she wasn’t without pride. She kept herself upright, looking stubbornly at the ground. The little starlet who almost never shut up, speechless for minutes now.
When the shuttle doors opened, and Roven thumped forward to take up his guard, he walked her out. For a moment he thought she would flee the first moment she got, but Leiya turned back to him. Her eyes were questioning, as if she still couldn’t believe he was letting her go.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t more to your liking,” was all Faren said.
In a weird way, it was true. He’d never regretted something before, least of all not being liked. But fated couples were meant to work like that. They took everything a person was and gave it over to someone else.
“I’m sorry too,” Leiya said, so quietly he almost didn’t hear her.
Then he nodded and turned back to the shuttle, pretending not to know her eyes followed him for as long as the doors slid shut behind him.
The regret wasn’t what he’d expected it to feel like. He’d started off trying to better himself, to make himself complete again after the loss of his twin. Of course he’d known, or at least guessed, what the bond would do to him. Faren just hadn’t expected it to feel so real.
Leiya’s absence left the ship too quiet. He doubted she even knew how much she talked. It was quite obvious that when she wasn’t very specifically talking to someone, she just made observations out loud.
At first, he’d thought it sort of annoying, someone needing to point out everything they saw. Only when it was taken from him did he find himself oddly missing her cheerful interest in everything. She’d asked questions Faren couldn’t believe someone wanted to know. Like why didn’t the shuttles have real windows and why didn’t his quarters have doors.
Now no one asked questions. No one whistled. No one hummed or made any kind of sound at all. Faren knew he had preferred it like that, but suddenly the rooms around him seemed devoid of life. He had to literally remind himself what it was that he liked. No wonder Leiya had been going insane with trying to fit two parts of her together. It was just as bad for him.
He realized he’d found her constant commentary sort of… relaxing. Like she was saying everything, and he could only add details where they were missing. Kind of like he generally did things. He missed her voice, but more so he missed her overall presence.
The Unbroken was dead without her for him now, and there was nothing he could do to fix that. As for himself – he was more broken than ever before.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Leiya
Life seemed intent to one-up her when she least expected it.
Only a day ago, Leiya had thought she had never been more confused – thinking that the feared General Faren was a gorgeous man. Right then, leaving his shuttle, she couldn’t even imagine that being a question for anyone. Of course he was gorgeous.
This was the moment she was most confused.
What’s wrong with me? she thought. I did it. I can’t believe I did it, and I still have no idea how, but I did. He let me go! Why am I so miserable then? And why did I let him kiss me?
In truth, Leiya was fully aware of who exactly had done most of the kissing there. She’d been so desperate for even one single moment of…
I was going to say one single moment of happiness, wasn’t I?
Since when did kissing Faren define happiness for her? She really was going mad. Leiya desperately needed someone to talk to. Her initial plan after Faren had agreed to let her go was to go home. To her own bed, in her own room, where there was light and air. And the tree behind her window shushing her to sleep with the rustling of its leaves.
Only for some reason she couldn’t bear the thought of going there. It was the ridiculous lie Faren had told her. It had to be a lie. How could she be a human? Someone would have told her, someone would have noticed. And she was a Brion, only... It made sense.
Memories started rushing her, things that had felt out of place in her life suddenly coming together in the light of that idea. What if it was true? She'd never belonged, because she'd been trying to belong to the wrong world. Always knowing it wasn't hers.
With every second, Leiya was more convinced it was true. The reason she was never a normal Brion, the reason why her father and her healer always seemed to speak about things that never came up with others. The reason she was never able to accept things as Brions did, because it wasn't in her to agree without question.
Bitter, salty tears ran down her face. She'd been lied to. All her life she'd tried so hard to belong to Briolina, but in truth it was impossible. It wasn't her real home. And her mother and father weren't really her parents. Now she finally saw why her father had been so mad when someone called her weird or different.
Answers. Leiya needed answers. Someone would have to tell her why in the name of all the gods hadn't they told her.
Her parents – even if they were adoptive parent, apparently – would be glad to have her home, no doubt. And concerned that she’d defied one of the core principles of Brion life, no doubt about that either.
Oh, and I have a giant monstrous warrior with me for some reason, she added in her mind. No. She didn't want to see them right then. She needed someone impartial, someone safe. Someone who could listen to her and give her advice without expecting her to explain herself.
She found that her feet had been taking her towards the senators’ palace anyway. Even before, she’d already decided to seek out Senator Primen and see if his offer of friendship still held. Maybe he had a house or something, far away from the crowds, where she could take some time off and think about the whole mess. Of the truth that had been hidden from her all her life. And Faren.
--
Of course, great logic on her part. She’d blamed Faren for making her miss her concerts, but she didn’t intend for a second to make any public appearances for a while. Something inside her was severely broken, and she had to find a way to fix that first. Because longing with every breath to be back in Faren’s arms definitely counted as being broken in Leiya’s book.
It was amazing that with the revelation she'd just had, her gerion still seemed like the bigger problem to her. That was the strength of the bond. Leiya didn't know how to feel about that. She was mad, for the first time that she could remember, properly and honestly mad. At the world, at her father, at everyone who'd helped hide her true being from her.
And at Faren. Simply because he existed and made her so very weak. With everything she was suddenly crumbling apart, Leiya wanted at least to hold on to the part she'd chosen.
She was still Leiya and she would not belong to the general.
Roven tensed up as he saw where they were going.
“Do you seek Senator Eleya?” he asked.
The High Senator? No. Leiya had met her a few times, of course. Her father was a senator, and she was famous enough to warrant the High Senator’s notice of her own accord. She actually sort of liked Eleya, but the woman was very sharp. And very well known for her liking of Faren. No, she wouldn’t do for her right then.
“No,” she answered. “I’m going to see Senator Primen.”
Roven didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then,
“Maybe it isn’t wise to see him.”
“Why?” Leiya asked bitterly. “I know he doesn’t like General Faren, but he likes me.”
“He hates my Commander,” Roven corrected. “And he sided with Senator Eren.”
“That was a while ago,” Leiya protested. “He switched sides when he realized he was wrong.”
“My Commander believes he was just smart enough to save himself from death by Diego Grothan’s hands,” Roven said, and there was a sort of insistence in his voice.
Leiya didn’t like it.
“Is that so?” she asked.
Then she thought of something.
“Oh gods, is he the danger he thought threatened me?”
“I don’t know,” Roven said.
By the gods, Faren really is mad.
Senator Primen welcomed her at once. He smiled when he saw her, a big friendly smile that actually made Leiya sigh in gratitude. She’d only been with her friends the day before, but even an hour aboard the Unbroken had made her miss someone who could actually show emotion. She still felt angry at his involvement with her abduction from Terra, but she was willing to let him explain.
When Roven made to follow her, she shook her head.
“I need to talk to him alone.”
How could I talk about Faren with his warriors listening in?
The warrior seemed reluctant to leave her, but Primen cut in.
“Relax, warrior. We are in the Senators’ Palace. Who could harm her here? There are guards everywhere. She’s safe.”
Roven didn’t seem to listen to him. His eyes remained on Leiya.
“I will be close by,” he said and his voice was dark. “Shout for me.”
She nodded. Anything to get him to leave. Leiya really needed to sit down and just… make sense of the world.
Senator Primen’s office was in the beautiful side of palace, overlooking a great stone courtyard with fountains and a little decorative bridge. Usually the Brions weren’t very interested in ornaments, and trinkets, and things that didn’t serve a very specific purpose, but the senators were different. It was said they thought better in the midst of things that weren’t practical. It somehow expanded their mind. Leiya didn’t know if that was true or if it was a very good believable lie.
She sat down on one of the couches and accepted a drink.
Oh, yes. I really needed a drink. Thank gods for the classes with perception powers.
“Did he hurt you?” Senator Primen asked.
Leiya nearly choked on her drink.
“No,” she said. “I just… Well, you know me. I mostly avoid warriors, but this one was a bit difficult to ignore.”
“Mm, yes,” Primen said. “I understand. Faren has a… reputation, doesn’t he?”
He sat beside her, smiling at her encouragingly. He was a bit younger than her father, but already gray showed in his hair. She had to wonder if that was Faren’s doing in part. Primen’s eyes were warm and blue, though, with no signs of aging. Leiya nodded, grateful for the compassion.
“I mean, I get that I’m his fated. But he can’t do this to me,” she continued. “And honestly, I want to know more about this rumor of bindings not being certain. What I saw aboard the Unbroken…”
“What did you see?” Primen asked.
Leiya told him, in as much detail as she felt she could go into. With a weird relief, she saw that none of it shocked Primen. What he said after she’d finished shocked her, though.
“Oh, sweet girl, you didn’t see the half of it,” he said. “He wasn’t lying, you know. It really is a common training exercise. But he wouldn’t let you see the really disturbing things.”
For some reason the affirmation that Faren hadn’t lied sent a tinge of excitement down Leiya’s spine.
Senator Primen was no longer smiling.
“They are monsters,” he said. “The generals. Your father has kept all of this from you, I don’t doubt. And of course they don’t let it be known to the public what they really teach the warriors. What you saw was child’s play to them. They don’t want us to know what they are really capable of. Do you think Diego Grothan lets his pretty little gesha see what he can do to a man’s spine? I’ve seen them bend a person backwards and fold them together without killing them. I can’t imagine the pain, can you?”
The smile had died on Leiya’s lips too. Maybe she’d underestimated how much Primen really hated the generals.
“No,” she said quietly. “I don’t want to either.”
She'd let herself be carried away by talk of Faren, but then she remembered.
"Senator," she said, looking him straight in the eye. "Is it true? Am I actually human?"
The way the senator sighed told her everything. It was true. She felt something change within her. A shifting. It wasn't a bad feeling, necessarily. Not for her. It was a horrible truth, but she was grateful for it. At least she finally knew why she always felt so wrong. Now that she knew what she was, Leiya felt complete for the first time in her life.
"So he told you," Primen said. "I figured he would, to turn you against me and your father."
Leiya had many quarrels with Faren, but she didn't think that accusation was correct.
"He told me the truth," she said dryly. "Something that you didn't for all my life."
"It was a part of the test," said the senator. "We wanted to see if someone believing to be a Brion would become more like a Brion."
"A test," Leiya repeated. "You let me live a lie because it served your needs."
Her voice had never sounded like that, cold and terribly hurt and broken.
"It was necessary," Primen said, smiling weirdly.
Necessary. Is that what she was to them, to her father? A necessary test subject to see if their theories held true. Leiya felt sick. Many things about the Brion lifestyle didn't sit well with her, but she'd never been disgusted like that before.
"I doubt it," Leiya snapped. "I'm starting to see why the generals hate senators so much. You sacrifice everything so you could have your way and then you call them evil."
The curl of the senator’s lips had nothing to do with smiling or humor.
“Oh, but they are. There is little in my life other than them, sweet girl. They’ve made it their purpose to make sure I never get to do anything serious again, but they can’t be everywhere at once.”
Leiya had taken another sip of her drink when the senator’s hand suddenly rested on her thigh. The sip caught in her throat as the look in Primen’s eyes was everything but sane. She couldn’t pull away, she didn’t dare to.
“Just like your gerion isn’t here now,” the senator said.
His touch was repulsive to her. Leiya had never found him attractive and never would, not to mention he was creeping her out. Even more so because he wasn’t Faren. Compared to how the general’s hands had felt around her, this was a twisted mockery of it. Leiya felt sick again. Coming there had been a terrible idea.
“I need to go,” she managed to say, but the hand on her thigh just tightened. Then it moved upwards and if she had eaten anything that day, it would surely have come up then.
“I don’t think so,” the senator said. “You see, I quite like you being here. I’ve had my eye on you for a while now. I thought you were lost to me when that monster dragged you to his ship, but you’ve been so very clever to escape.”
<
br /> “No…”
“Don’t worry,” the senator said, etching ever closer to her.
His closeness was nauseating. Leiya thought back to Roven’s warning, and then to Faren’s insistence that she was in danger. Suddenly the idea didn’t seem so ridiculous anymore. A thought occurred to her then.
“My father…”
The man who pretended to be my father.
“Your father is an idiot,” Primen snapped. “A softhearted coward who betrayed Rhea the first chance he got.”
His eyes wandered over her body, making her feel dirty simply by being the object of his look. The worse was to come, though, when his hands moved to grope her, pulling her into his embrace. She struggled, her voice lost in her throat, but he held on to her.
“Of course, I can’t blame him really,” he said then. “Men would say many things, betray all their principles not to fall into the hands of monsters like Diego and Faren.”
Monsters, Leiya thought. Faren hadn’t touched her without her permission even when he knew she was his fated. This man…
“I trust you know how they’ve destroyed me,” Primen said.
She did. She suddenly wished they’d killed him, something she'd never wished upon anyone before.
“You’re such a good girl,” he said, slipping his hand under her dress.
Leiya yelped, trying to push him away, but he was much stronger than her. One of his hands closed around her mouth just as she was about to yell for help.
No. No, gods no. I’m not yours. Not yours. Not. Yours.
“Such a good girl indeed,” he whispered into her ear. “Running straight to me. Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to pay those bastards back for what they did to me?”
His hand moved away from her mouth just long for her to whisper,
“They’ll kill you. If you hurt me, you’re dead.”
Primen merely laughed.
“I’m dead already,” he said, his voice crazed and maniacal. “It is only a matter of time before one of those monsters snaps and kills me just for fun.”
They don’t kill for fun.
The hand under her dress was caressing her, moving upwards to her pussy. The sense of violation was so strong Leiya thought she might vomit.