by Katie Curtis
Anna took a sip of her beer. She looked up at Raphael, and tried to word her thoughts carefully.
“Look, I’m very confused right now. I’m not sure what I want, but I know I was hoping that you could share in what I am feeling here. I am feeling very alive and amazed by life here. I was hoping if you had a taste of it, you would feel some of that about this place too. Instead I wonder if you came up here to win some pissing contest, to convince me that New York is better than Maine. You act like there is nothing here that is worth anything. I just need to be here right now. Please at least respect that instead of trying to fight it.” She felt relieved to get that off her chest. Even though she didn’t include how confused she was about Andrew, she was still glad to speak up and ask for Raphael to understand that she was going through a lot of things. In a way, it was conveniently true. She took a large sip of her beer and exhaled slowly.
Raphael was quiet for a few moments, thinking. “You are right. I’m sorry. I was acting like a jerk. I was completely afraid that you wanted to leave our life, to come here. And in my being afraid I . . . I was just defensive.” He put his hand on the table and looked into her eyes. She noticed again the caramel-brown color of his eyes, just a deeper shade of his skin. His perfect hair was blown a bit by the wind, and his cheeks were red. Anna felt her anger melt, and a familiar pull toward Raphael settled over her. “I promise I will try to be supportive to you about this place. Can you forgive me? Can we start over now?” he asked, smiling, his charm oozing.
“Yes. Let’s try to start the weekend over.” She kissed him and smiled gratefully. “On that note, ready to go see my family?”
Chapter 16
When they entered the gym at Lincoln Academy, Anna was stunned at the transformation. A large white mansion was painted onto canvas that stretched across the whole back wall of the gym in a deceptive tromp l’oeil style that made you feel like you were walking onto the property of a Newport mansion. Lights were strung up that added to the effect, and a band was set up in the corner, playing big band ‘20s music. Ladies were dressed in their flapper best, and Anna suddenly wondered if her dropped-waist, pleated dress she had ordered online was enough without a headdress or shoes to match. Raphael looked dashing in a white tux he had rented in the city, though, so he would have to make up for it. Marie and Mike looked like they could have passed for F. Scott and Zelda, with his bow tie tux and her crimped hair and bangs and headband with a plume. Her white satin flapper dress and long necklaces looked like a movie costume.
“Marie, you look amazing!” Anna said over the saxophone.
“Thanks, I bought it all soon after we planned the theme. I don’t think I would have had the mindset to find it after the funeral.”
Their dad strolled up to them, in a black tuxedo, looking gala-esque.
Marie reached up and hugged her father. “Hey dad, how are you feeling?” she asked.
“Good, good. Those students did an impressive job painting the canvas for this. And you and Catherine did an amazing job, my hat’s off to you,” he said with obvious pride.
Anna couldn’t help but feel a tinge of exclusion. Her sister had helped, she had turned her back. She couldn’t blame anyone, and she tried to shake it off. Now that she was here and saw what they had pulled off, and why, she realized the Foundation was a vibrant, healthy entity, despite what she had thought about her father. She was also stunned to hear that the students had painted the backdrop, which was masterful work and transformed the space.
Marie turned to her and explained, “The culmination of the Foundation is the last two days, the students paint a backdrop for the fundraiser the following spring. So it means we have to pick out next year’s theme soon!” she patted her dad’s arm with a gentle prod.
“Let’s enjoy this year first,” he said with his typical stoicism.
Anna looked over and realized she had forgotten to break the ice for Raphael with her family. “Dad, you remember Raphael,” Anna said as he leaned in to shake hands with her dad.
Her dad reached out a hand for Raphael to shake. He sipped his Scotch, then cleared his throat. “How’s the world of finance holding up?” he asked amicably enough. His firm gaze seemed to look through Raphael.
“It’s certainly a rocky time. But people are still making money, here and there.” Raphael kept it to small talk, but you could see he immediately got animated talking about his work. “And how is the world of academics? I understand, aside from the Foundation, you are still in an advisory role?” Raphael’s eloquence and charm were not lost on her father.
“Yes, just a bit. I view myself as a final harbinger of a belief in quality. This period of art can become more than a little crazy. They have forgotten that the great artists don’t care about the consequences of their art—people’s reactions, evoking an emotional response, trying to shock and change society. All pure crap. Narcissistic at best. It is the quality of the individual work itself that matters.”
Anna blushed at her father’s outspokenness and looked to see how Raphael was taking it. She was surprised to see him nodding in agreement. “I think you are absolutely right. After all, living in New York, you are bombarded by this. But every once in a while, a contemporary artist can make you excited about art all over again.” He smiled at Anna. “Your daughter sold me some wonderful pieces when we first met, and I am happy to say that even years later, my heart is warmed by the sight of them on my walls each day.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Anna’s father said, waving hello to people that walked by.
Raphael smiled mischievously at her, then said, “As a matter of fact, your daughter is quite the artist herself.” Anna pleaded with her eyes for him to stop. She shook her head covertly and felt a familiar tense grip reach around her heart.
“Oh?” Her father’s interest was suddenly focused, and he turned his head to stare at them.
Anna shook her head a bit. Did she just hear him correctly? “So Marie, what’s on the menu for tonight?” she interrupted, hoping to change the subject.
“The pub in Damariscotta is catering. Little cups of clam chowder, fried calamari, beef tenderloin on top of garlic toast,” Marie said quickly, picking up on the conversation.
“Yes, she –”
“Raphael, do you want to come with me to get a drink?” Anna interjected, pulling his arm so he had no choice.
Marie leaned over and whispered to Anna, “Does Raphael know what he is doing? That he is opening up a whole can of worms between you two? And also, are you really painting again?”
Anna felt a slow ember of anger burn next to her heart. Yes, he knew. He was bringing it up so that he could convince her to do Art Basel. If her father knew she had been invited, no doubt Raphael thought that he would encourage her to go. But the fact that he hadn’t warned Anna that he was about to expose her made the anger she felt previously in the day return in full force. She was happy to have him with her but so torn about how he was acting.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mention it, it seemed like no big deal. And I don’t know what he is thinking, but if he doesn’t cool it, he is sleeping at the airport.” Anna whispered back as she kept pulling his arm. Her sister’s face looked like it was processing something, but she gave Anna’s arm a quick squeeze and tried to help her distract the conversation.
“Isn’t this band great, Mike?” she said loudly, as Mike put his arm around her, nodding.
Her father ignored her question, and leaned into Raphael. “So tell me, how is it you’ve come to know about Anna’s art?” He spoke slowly and deliberately. Anna could feel her arms and chest tremble slightly. She and her father waited eagerly for Raphael’s answer.
Raphael took a sip of water and slowly set his glass down. “Oh, I’ve seen a few pieces here and there,” he said smiling, and winked at Anna.
“So you’ve started again?” Her father looked at her from underneath his imposing eyebrows.
“Just for fun, Dad. For myself. Not for anyone else,” A
nna said, her words staccato.
Her father sat quietly and stroked his chin.
“C’mon, Raphael, I really need some wine,” she said again, pulling even harder.
“Thank God,” she heard her father say as they walked away.
“What the hell were you doing?” Anna asked Raphael as they pulled away from her dad. “How dare you tell my father that I’ve been painting? That is not your news to tell, it’s mine, and I wasn’t ready.” Her face was hot.
“Anna, calm down. I didn’t tell him anything major. Don’t you think he guessed that you dabbled in it now and then?” Raphael’s calm made Anna even more upset.
“No, I don’t, not if you knew the last conversation he and I had about my painting. He is an overbearing, pushy, unrelenting hound when it comes to ‘my gift,’ as he calls it. He loses sight of the fact that I am his daughter and goes into some psycho realm about following your calling, using your gifts and potential. His opinion of what I should and should not be doing about my art is not something I want to invite into my adult life.” She tried hard to remain calm, but she could feel her volume escalating. It was a good thing the music was so loud.
“Look, Anna, you can downplay it to him if you want. I don’t think any harm has been done. But speaking of crazy, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to completely hide what you are doing in your spare time from me, from your family, from everyone, for God’s sake! Why, because you have a grudge with your father? Your dad is not the only one who is acting a little crazy here. You didn’t even tell me you had two showings at Genevieve’s! And I am your boyfriend! How do you think I should feel?” Raphael’s free hand was waving in the air.
Anna sat quietly. He was right. How was that fair to him? It wasn’t. But she still wouldn’t have done it any other way. So what did that mean? “It is my choice, isn’t it?” she finally answered.
“Yes, it’s your choice,” Raphael said, his voice exasperated. He turned toward the bar, and ordered a scotch and a glass of red wine for Anna.
Anna turned around to face Raphael as he handed her a glass of wine. “Thanks,” she said, setting the glass down at a table next to them. She didn’t even want it after the beers they had earlier and her frustration at the moment. “I’m sorry if you feel like I kept you in the dark. I didn’t mean to. Now, will you wait here for me while I go to the bathroom. Please don’t say anything more to my dad, Ok?” her eyes pleaded at him, and he stroked her cheek.
“Ok, I won’t,” he said, and quickly kissed her.
In the bathroom Anna looked into the mirror. Her confusion was all over her face. She suddenly longed to lay down, on her bed, and curl up and go to sleep.
Suddenly, out of the stall behind her, she saw Abigail emerge, looking lovely in a black gown with gossamer beading.
“Oh, hello, Anna. So nice to see you again,” she said, her formal and elegant way striking Anna once again. She welcomed the sight of her more than she knew.
“Hi, Abigail, it’s wonderful to see you here,” Anna said, giving her a quick kiss hello on the side of her cheek. She suddenly realized she hadn’t employed that New York greeting in several weeks.
“Your family has just done such an amazing job on this gala. It feels like we have transported ourselves. And I bet everyone is blown away – this doesn’t happen often in Maine.”
Anna smiled and nodded. She was right – fancy dresses and tuxes were very un-Maine. But it attracted all of the people from the south, from Portland and Portsmouth and Boston who had lots of money to donate to the Foundation, so it was a very smart move for her aunt and sister to go black tie. “I know, they’ve done an amazing job,” she agreed.
“Are you all right sweet heart? You look upset.”
Anna took a deep breath. “I am – I’m alright. Just thinking about that situation I’m in,” she flashed Abigail a genuine smile, truly grateful that she had her to talk to.
“Any further along on your decision?”
“Not really, I think I put it out of my mind for now. My boyfriend is up from the city, though he is doing his best to lobby that I show in Miami. And I’m not a fan of some of his tactics. I’m still not quite sure what I want,” she said. Now that her dad knew she was painting, half of her anxieties were realized anyway, though she kept that part from Abigail.
“Either way, darling, just try and stay true to you, to your voice. Whether you show or don’t show, it doesn’t really matter if you know what’s important.”
Anna smiled at her wise new friend. “Thanks, Abigail. That sounds like something my mom would say. And I think I really needed to hear it tonight.” She took a deep breath, and realized she felt much better. Just the memory of her mother was enough to center her.
“Anytime,” Abigail said, giving her a wink as she walked out the door, the music streaming in through the opening.
Anna looked at herself in the mirror and took another breath. She was her mother’s daughter. This night was about what truly mattered. Kids doing art. Giving back. She touched up her makeup and walked back outside. As she strolled across the gym-turned-mansion, she suddenly thought about Miranda, and realized she owed her a text or an email saying she was still in Maine. As the band started to play ‘In the Mood’ an idea occurred to her. She should see if Miranda could get into the Foundation’s summer program. She could spend time with her up here, and give her access to painting the beauty of Maine. Perhaps even teach a little herself at the Foundation this summer.
She went over to Marie, who was chatting with the caterers. When she was done, Anna asked, “How hard is it for a student to get into the summer program?”
“Well, not that hard. They have an online application. And they are evaluated based on three art samples. Deadline is soon, though. Of course, you know some people, so we might be able to help.” She smiled and winked. Anna smiled at her sister, and couldn’t wait to help Miranda get her application in. She would have to talk to her mother though, and hope that she said yes to this idea.
“Hey hon, there’s some people from the hospital I’d love for you to meet,” Mike said, holding out his hand for her.
“Thanks, Marie,” Anna said. She headed over to Raphael at the table where she left him, scrolling on his phone. The poor guy knows no one and was left alone, she thought. She tried to put herself in a forgiving place, tried to overlook the conversation with her father. She was focusing on what was important – Raphael. The Foundation. Helping Miranda.
“Talking to a friend?” she said, smiling.
“No, just checking the Yankee game score. They’re up by 10,” he smiled.
Anna put her hand on his cheek and smiled back. “I’m sorry I got so mad. I am sure you didn’t realize how crazy my relationship with my dad really is. Besides, now that I can see the work he’s doing with the Foundation, I am trying to find a way to bridge things with him. A little.” She held up her thumb and first finger an inch apart, showing him the distance she was yielding to her father. Or at least the Foundation. “Let’s just dance and have a good time,” Anna said.
“Ok, my dear,” he stood up and took her hand, sipped his drink, and set it down. “It looks like you were able to find your bueno onda in the bathroom,” he said with a grin, and handed her a glass of wine.
Anna laughed. “Yea, I guess I did,” she said smiling, taking a sip, then pulling him to the dance floor and putting her arms around him. She stayed there, in her good vibes, with Raphael for exactly one song. Then, as the last notes faded she looked up, and saw Andrew in the corner of the gym, in a white tux with polished shoes, his golden hair still wild, but in a more contained way than usual. A gorgeous blond woman next to him in a red dress, with spaghetti straps and a dropped waist, a gorgeous diamond necklace strand around her neck. Her hair was down in lose, big golden waves, and her lips were a shade of red that matched her dress. They were talking easily, Andrew waiving his hand animatedly about something, and she was relaxed as she smiled at him, the corners of her eyes were crinkle
d as they laughed. Was she the same blond she had seen years ago? The weekend she came up to talk to Andrew? She couldn’t be sure, but she felt a familiar pang of hurt.
Marie came up to Anna just then, with Liz by her side.
“Hey Anna, look who I found,” she said.
“Hey hon,” Liz said, giving her a quick hug. “So good to see you! Your sister was right when she told me we should come. This place looks amazing. I convinced Andrew to come too. I hope you don’t mind! Who’s this?” she said, pointing to Raphael.
“Liz, meet Raphael, my boyfriend. Raphael, this is Liz, an old friend of my sister’s.”
“Andrew is Liz’s brother,” Marie awkwardly interjected over the music.
“Nice to meet you,” Raphael said, taking her hand, his eyebrow raised slightly. “Um, I’m gonna go get another drink,” he said pointing at the bar. “Looks like you could use another too, yes?” he asked Anna. “I’ll be right back.”
After he was gone, Marie looked sideways at Anna, then asked Liz carefully, “So, who did Andrew come with? I don’t recognize her.”
“Oh, that’s Stephanie. She was his partner on his last research trip. I’m not sure exactly what their status is, but she came to visit. I’ll have to get the scoop from him.”
Anna felt something twist again inside. So it wasn’t the blond from the boat. But it was nevertheless a lovely girl. Let it go, she whispered to herself. Remember what’s important.
She might have had success with that if Andrew hadn’t walked up to them all right at that moment. The minute he was standing across from her, Anna could feel her heart pound, and looked around to see if anyone else seemed to hear it.
“Hello, ladies,” he said. “Marie, you’ve done an amazing job tonight. The Lobsterman’s Association may have to tap you when we need a fundraiser.”
“Thanks, Andrew,” she said, laughing. “I don’t know if I have more than one of these a year in me. But I could pass my Excel spreadsheet over to someone and help them pull it off.”