by Anita Hughes
But Sebastian was right; he only left because he had to paint. Now Olivia was engaged and they had no other responsibilities. They could cruise on a yacht and kiss under the moonlight.
Sebastian’s leather overnight bag stood in the corner and suddenly a chill ran down her spine. She couldn’t leave Felix. Then she would be just as bad as Sebastian.
If someone in the marriage was unhappy, you tried to fix it. And even if you couldn’t entirely, that didn’t mean you gave up. The only guarantee in a marriage was that you stayed together. And she did love Felix. He was kind and considerate and they shared so many wonderful moments.
She sipped the bourbon and felt like she’d woken up from a terrible dream. Sebastian entered the living room and she held up her hand.
“Please don’t come any closer.”
“But you just kissed me,” Sebastian replied. “You’re in love with me.”
“I was in love with you at the guesthouse in Cape Town and the trout farm in Johannesburg and the resort in Chiang Mai. I loved you when you walked out of our Morningside Heights apartment and I was probably still in love with you when I met Felix.
“But that was a long time ago. I’m not in love with you now.” She looked at Sebastian. “I love my life and couldn’t possibly give it up.”
“You’re acting like a character in a Thomas Hardy novel!” Sebastian exclaimed. “You think a curse will be put on you or Olivia if you follow your heart. You’re supposed to be happy, that’s why God invented love. If you ignore it, you’re going against everything life is about.”
Sebastian’s eyes glistened and for a moment he was the young man in Cape Town who insisted she could sell his paintings. Handsome and cocky and not afraid of anything.
“I really have to go.” She rubbed her lips. “Where is Olivia?”
“The bedroom is down the hall on the right,” Sebastian replied. His shoulders sagged and there were new lines on his forehead.
“Why don’t you make lunch while I talk to her,” Hadley said and smiled. “I’m sure she’ll be hungry.”
* * *
Hadley knocked on the door and opened it. The bedroom had high ceilings and a white four-poster bed and sliding glass doors opening onto the sand. There was a geometric rug and love seat littered with pastel-colored cushions.
“Darling!” Hadley exclaimed. “It’s so good to see you.”
Olivia looked up from her iPhone and gasped. “What are you doing in Anguilla?”
“I came to ask you to return to St. Barts.” Hadley perched on the bed. “You can’t just run off and leave Finn. Your engagement is one of the best times of your life; you have to enjoy it. And Sebastian has been alone for years. He doesn’t need a travel companion.”
“You think I came to Anguilla to be with Sebastian?” Olivia asked.
“Why else would you be here?” Hadley wondered.
“When I took Sebastian’s breakfast to his room yesterday, I discovered two plane tickets to Anguilla. I thought he was going to ask me to accompany him, but he never mentioned it,” Olivia began. “Then at dinner, you seemed flustered when you returned from the dance floor. I couldn’t sleep all night.” She fiddled with her earrings. “I finally realized what was bothering me. The extra plane ticket was for you! I was sure Sebastian was still in love with you and asked you to run away.” She paused and looked at the ocean.
“I checked Sebastian’s room and he’d already left. Then I peered in your room and your side of the bed was empty. I had to stop you from making a terrible mistake.”
“So you came to Anguilla?” Hadley frowned.
“I was just going to drive to the airport, but the plane had already boarded,” Olivia continued. “The ticket taker said the only way I could find out who was on the flight was to buy a ticket. It was only when I got on the plane that I realized you weren’t on it.” Olivia smiled thinly. “Sebastian suggested I come to the house and have a good breakfast before I fly back. I must have fallen asleep, because now it’s almost noon.”
“Why didn’t you ask Finn to go to the airport with you?” Hadley inquired.
“Finn is so close to Felix. I was afraid he would tell Felix what happened.” She looked up and her eyes watered. “I texted Finn from the airport to explain and he never replied. I’ve been calling his phone, but there’s no answer.”
“Finn isn’t answering because he left his phone in the kitchen,” Hadley said. “I saw your text to him and that’s how I knew you were in Anguilla.”
“What if he’s angry that I left without telling him?” Olivia asked.
“Finn will understand.” Hadley paused. “You were only trying to help me and Felix.”
“You and Felix have been there my whole life.” Olivia bit her lip. “I couldn’t do anything else.”
“Why don’t we join Sebastian for lunch and then go to the airport.” Hadley stood and hugged her.
“That sounds wonderful. I haven’t eaten all day and I’m starving.” Olivia hesitated. “I did want to ask you something.”
“What is it?” Hadley asked.
“Are you still in love with Sebastian?”
“Good heavens, no.” Hadley shook her head. “Felix and I are very happy. Even good marriages have ups and downs. But the important thing is you know you’ll always be there for each other,” she said and smiled. “It’s the best feeling in the world.”
* * *
They sat at the teak dining room table and ate shrimp kabobs and avocado salad. There was a bowl of fresh fruit and coconut sorbet.
Olivia’s phone buzzed and she picked it up. “It’s Finn.” She stood. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”
“She’s so beautiful,” Sebastian sighed. “Finn is a lucky guy.”
“They are going to be a wonderful couple.”
“I supposed you are right,” Sebastian admitted. “As long as they don’t have children for a while.”
“You’ll be a terrific grandfather when the time comes.” She paused and looked at Sebastian. “The shrimp is delicious but there’s no risotto.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“When you kissed me, you pulled away and said you had to take the risotto off the stove,” Hadley said slowly. “But we’re eating lunch and there’s no risotto.”
Sebastian put down his fork and rubbed his forehead.
“I couldn’t let you throw your life away because of one kiss,” he answered. “You needed time to make sure that was what you wanted. So I invented a simmering pot of risotto. It was the honorable thing to do.”
“You’re a better man than you think.” Hadley said and then laughed. “It wasn’t that great a kiss.”
Sebastian looked at Hadley and his eyes were bright. “Yes, it was.”
* * *
They walked to the driveway and Hadley opened the door of the rental car.
“I forgot something.” She took a painting out of the backseat. “This is for you.”
“You’re giving me The Miller Girls?” he gasped.
“I brought it to bribe you into convincing Olivia to come home,” Hadley explained. “But it has always belonged to you. We were just storing it for you.”
“If you’re sure.” Sebastian took the painting. “I promise I’ll take good care of it.”
“I know you will.” Hadley slid into the driver’s seat.
“One more thing. About Olivia’s wedding.” Sebastian poked his head in the window. “Hotel rooms in St. Barts are so expensive at Christmas. Could I stay at the villa?”
Hadley waited while Olivia ran down the driveway to join them. Olivia kissed Sebastian on the cheek and climbed into the passenger seat.
Hadley turned on the ignition and said to Sebastian, “I’ll ask Felix.”
Chapter Nineteen
HADLEY OPENED THE FRONT DOOR of the villa and entered the living room. It was late afternoon and the air smelled of lemon polish. A crystal vase was filled with pink roses and there was a stack of magazines on the coffee ta
ble.
“There you are.” Felix looked up. He wore a collared shirt and pressed slacks. “I came down from taking a shower and the villa was quiet. Olivia isn’t here and Finn took the car.”
“He is meeting Olivia at Hotel Eden Rock,” Hadley explained. “I booked them a suite as an engagement present. I thought it would be nice for them to have time alone.”
“That’s an excellent idea.” Felix beamed. “I’ll tell Esther it will be just two for dinner.”
“I’d like to talk to you about something,” Hadley said. “Could we go into the library?”
“Is anything wrong?” He frowned. “Are you sick?”
“It’s nothing like that.” Hadley shook her head. “Let’s discuss it over martinis.”
They entered the library and Felix glanced at the wall above the fireplace.
“Good god! The Miller Girls has been stolen!” he gasped.
“No, it hasn’t. I gave it to Sebastian. I’m sorry, I should have asked you first.” She paused. “He always loved the painting and I thought he should have it.”
“It must be worth a fortune.” Felix rubbed his brow. “I thought you wanted to give it to Olivia and Finn.”
“I doubt it’s that valuable. A Sebastian Miller hasn’t gone for more than five figures in years.” She smiled. “Anyway, Sebastian will never sell it. Eventually he will pass it down to Olivia.”
“To be honest, I don’t mind seeing it go. I always thought you were more beautiful than the woman in the painting.” Felix filled two glasses with vermouth and handed one to Hadley. “What did you want to talk about?”
Hadley sipped her drink and took a deep breath.
“When you injured your back it made sense to sleep in separate rooms. And it took months to recuperate,” she began. “But now you play tennis every day and we’re still sleeping apart. I wonder if there’s another reason. Perhaps you don’t find me desirable.”
Felix gulped his drink and ran his hands through his hair.
“You think I want separate bedrooms?” he spluttered.
“Well, yes.” Hadley nodded. “You never tried to change things.”
“The worst thing about injuring my back wasn’t the hot compresses or hours missed on the tennis court. It was not holding you in my arms at night,” Felix said. “But then I got better and you never moved back into our bedroom. I thought you weren’t interested. When my mother was your age I overheard her talking to a friend about ‘the change.’ She said a woman’s needs become different and she and my father never slept in the same bed again. I assumed—”
“You thought I didn’t want to make love because of menopause?” Hadley interrupted.
“I don’t know much about the subject.” Felix flushed. “But yes, I suppose so.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” she asked.
“I didn’t know how,” he admitted. “I hoped you would bring it up first.”
“I can imagine Carolyn saying something like that but it would never occur to me.” Hadley fiddled with her glass. “We have decades ahead of us and I don’t want to become one of those couples who only meet over breakfast. I’m forty-eight years old and I want to make love to my husband.”
Felix leaned over and kissed her. His lips were warm and he ran one hand over her breast. Hadley gasped and something wonderful stirred inside her.
“It’s not too late,” Felix murmured. “We can make up for lost time.”
“We have to promise to never let it happen again,” Hadley urged. “We should be able to talk about anything.”
“I promise as long as you do something for me,” Felix agreed.
“What?” Hadley looked up.
Felix stood and took her hand. “Come upstairs to the bedroom.”
Hadley put her glass on the marble bar and glanced at the empty space over the fireplace. She must get a new painting. Something lush and tropical with all the colors of St. Barts.
Chapter Twenty
OLIVIA UNWRAPPED A CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE and glanced around the hotel suite. It had a white-canopied bed and mahogany floor and bright orange furniture. There was a stand-alone bathtub in the bathroom and a window seat littered with silk cushions. From the moment Finn insisted on carrying her through the door, she felt almost giddy.
They swam in the ocean and strolled along the white sand beach. They showered in the outdoor shower and kissed under the palm trees. Then they dressed for dinner and walked to the hotel’s dining room.
And the food! Platters of crispy egg and seared foie gras and lobster medallions. There was red snapper and Caribbean chocolate cake. They sipped a French chardonnay and talked about snorkeling at Saline Beach and feeding the sea turtles at Grand Cul de Sac.
Now the sun slid behind the horizon and St. Jean’s Bay was a sheet of glass. Torches flickered on the lawn and soft jazz filtered through the sound system.
“You look so beautiful.” Finn stepped out of the bathroom. A towel was wrapped around his waist and his hair was freshly washed.
“I was looking at wedding dresses.” Olivia flipped through the magazine. “I’ve always pictured an ivory sheath with a long white train. I’ll borrow Hadley’s diamond and sapphire earrings and carry a bouquet of purple freesias.”
“I don’t care what you wear as long as I can undress you,” Finn said and kissed her.
“It’s going to be wonderful to get married in St. Barts at Christmas,” Olivia mused. “The garden will be strung with fairy lights and pastel-colored sofas will be scattered over the lawn. Round tables will be set with pink tablecloths and gold candelabras and it will be like a movie set.”
“I’ll leave the décor to you and Hadley.” Finn grinned. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“I hope it’s not the size of the guest list,” Olivia laughed. “All the bedrooms in the villa are already spoken for and I will have to reserve every room at Le Toiny.”
“I spoke with my father today.” Finn fiddled with his towel. “The firm is opening a London office and he wants me to be in charge. It would only be for a year but it would be a great experience.”
“London!” Olivia exclaimed.
“He’s been wanting to expand the firm for ages and it’s a tremendous opportunity. You could work at a gallery in Mayfair or Piccadilly.” He touched Olivia’s hand. “I know how close you are to Hadley and Felix. We won’t go, if you don’t want to. But it might be fun to live somewhere new. We could explore some of the places you wanted to see with Sebastian: the Great Wall of China and the fjords in Scandinavia. Or we could just relax on a beach in Majorca or the South of France.”
Olivia imagined a garden flat in Notting Hill or a terrace house in Belgravia. She could visit the British History Museum and spend hours at the Tate Gallery. They’d shop in the food hall at Harrods and take the boat train to Paris.
“I think it’s a wonderful plan! The London art scene is one of the most dynamic in the world,” Olivia said excitedly. “I’m sure Hadley and Felix would love to visit. We could even ask Sebastian. We’ll check out photography exhibits at the Gagosian and see the Old Masters at the National Gallery.”
“We should celebrate.” Finn opened a bottle of champagne. He poured two glasses and handed one to Olivia. “We have so much to look forward to: the wedding and a fabulous honeymoon and a whole new adventure.”
Olivia placed her champagne flute on the side table and a smile lit up her face. She took Finn’s hand and led him to the bed.
“I have a better way to celebrate,” she said and kissed him.
He kissed her back and she inhaled the scent of coconut shampoo. The lights twinkled on the harbor and a tropical breeze wafted through the sliding glass doors and she had never been so happy.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to Melissa Flashman for being a tremendous agent and to Lauren Jablonski for being such a generous and wise editor. I am grateful for the whole team at St. Martin’s Press. Staci Burt, my publicist, never fails to amaze m
e, and Karen Masnica in marketing does a fantastic job. Thank you to Danielle Fiorella for her gorgeous covers and to Karen Richardson, Emily Walters, and Laura Clark. And always a huge thank-you to Jennifer Weiss and Jennifer Enderlin.
I’m lucky to have great friends: Andrea Katz, Christina Adams, Traci Whitney, and Pat Hazelton. And I am most grateful for my family: my husband, Thomas, and my children, Alex, Andrew, Heather, Madeleine, and Thomas Jr.
Discussion Questions
1. In the very first scene, Olivia’s father, Sebastian, appears after a twenty-year absence. How would you receive a long-absent parent if this happened to you?
2. Describe Hadley. Do you think she is a strong woman? In what ways is she strong and in what ways might she be weak?
3. Olivia is put in a position where she has to choose between Sebastian and Finn in various instances. Do you agree with her actions, and why or why not?
4. Much of the flashbacks are set in South Africa and Thailand. Are these places you have visited or are interested in visiting? What are your feelings about them from the descriptions in the book?
5. Describe Hadley’s relationship with her husband, Felix. Do you think it is a good marriage? Why or why not?
6. Do you think Olivia and Finn are right for each other? What makes them a good couple and what instances might give you doubts about their future?
7. Most of the action takes place on St. Barts. If you had a vacation home you visited every year, where would you like it to be?
8. Describe Sebastian. What are his redeeming qualities and what are his faults?
9. How do the relationships between the different characters change and develop throughout the novel?
10. Are you satisfied with the ending? Could you see a different ending for any of the characters?
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