by Jami Gray
‘Vex.’ He packed a wealth of warning into her name.
She shot him a look over her shoulder, and when he nailed her with his hard-ass glare, she braced her arms on her knees, as her shoulders curled. ‘Dammit, Ruin.’ It came out perilously close to a whine. ‘Don’t start, okay?’
‘Nope, not okay. I want answers.’ There was a note in his voice, one she knew meant he was about to dig in until he got what he wanted.
She took her time putting her other boot on before she sank back, matching his pose. ‘Ask your stupid questions.’
Taking her up on her ungracious offer, he got right to it. ‘What’s going on?’
Sulking and not really in the mood to deal with this, she muttered, ‘Figured Reaper explained it, considering you brought clothes and all.’
‘Not talking about Math—’
‘Crow,’ she corrected snottily, as she nabbed her glove from his lap and began sliding it on, flexing her fingers until the sharpened tips fell into place.
‘What the fuck ever.’ He waved his mug between them, his impatience loud and clear. ‘Talking about you and Simon.’
You know what one of the biggest pains was about being twins? Your sibling had no qualms about nosing around your private life. Granted, she didn’t mind poking at him and Charity, but having it turned back on her sucked big time. ‘There is no me and Simon.’
‘And why is that?’
The undeniably sarcastic edge to his question flipped her defences to red alert, and released her inner bitch factor. ‘I don’t know, since you seem to have all the answers, why don’t you tell me?’
Instead of swiping back, he held her furious gaze. ‘That what you want?’
The combination of his serious tone and sombre gaze tripped her pulse and left her stomach pitching. Folding her arms, she reached and found a snarky, but honest answer. ‘No, what I want is for you to drop it, but I’m guessing that’s not gonna happen.’
He heaved a not so silent sigh, sat up and set his cup on the floor. ‘Vex, girl, you know I love you.’
Shit, here it comes. She braced.
He shifted until he was facing her, one leg on the couch. ‘But you don’t make things easy.’
Right, because this was all her fault? Self-righteous anger flared over the spark of guilt, leaving her voice sharp. ‘Is that what I’m supposed to do, Ruin? Make it easy? Did you, when you met Charity?’
His face hardened as her hit found its mark. ‘That’s not the same.’
Unwilling to back down, she unfolded her arms and drilled a finger into his chest, shoving her point home. ‘You’re right, it’s not, because she didn’t give up on you.’
He pulled her hand away, even as a frown replaced his rising irritation. ‘Give up? Is that what you think Si did?’
Instead of restating the obvious, she reclaimed her hand and contented herself with arching a brow.
He rubbed his palm over his chest. ‘It’s a two-way street, you know.’
When he said nothing more, she nearly rolled her eyes. But because she wanted this conversation done, she followed his prompt. ‘What is?’
‘Loving someone.’
At that she couldn’t help it, her eyes rolled. When she was done, she couldn’t quite stifle her sneer. ‘Just because you lucked out and got your happy ending, doesn’t mean that’s the end game for all of us.’
Impatience and frustration finally won out, and Ruin didn’t hold back. ‘When are you going to stop punishing yourself, Vex?’ He didn’t give her a chance to respond, instead he kept going, his ruthless honesty tearing through her protective layers with a skill only blood held, striking at her heart. ‘You think I don’t see it? It was me who failed you and Marnie, yet you keep believing it’s you that has to pay the price. I spent years trying to convince you otherwise, but you refused to listen. After our last visit to Portland when you disappeared for three days, I thought you managed to finally lay shit to rest so I didn’t push it. Instead, you came back dragging nightmares and doing your damnedest to reinforce that wall you keep between you and everyone else. Then Si gets taken, and a crack appears. I’m thinking, “Fucking finally, she’ll wake up.” Instead, here you are, ensuring that peace is the last thing you find.’
Ruin’s aim proved to be devastatingly accurate, tearing away her protective illusions. He left her with nothing but the ugly truth, a truth she didn’t want to see because it just fucking hurt. ‘He walked away from me, Ruin.’ Just like everyone eventually did.
He cupped his hands over her face, his touch careful, but he didn’t relent. ‘Did you try to stop him?’ Her gaze slipped away before she could check it. Catching the telling move, his voice softened. ‘Yeah, see, babe, that right there says it all.’ He drew her close and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, something he used to do when they were younger. Then he let her go and drew back, one of his hands covering the fist in her lap. ‘You won’t share what’s dogging you and I won’t make you, though God knows I want to.’ He squeezed until she lifted her gaze. ‘But, Vex, you want a happy ending, you have to make a change. Take a risk, show them you’re willing to fight for them too. No-one wants to keep banging their head against a door, if you aren’t even willing to unlock it.’
‘He gave up, Ruin.’ Stupid, stupid tears pressed against her eyes, and her throat was thick. ‘Said I was too much work.’
Ruin winced, even as his gaze darkened in sympathy. With a sigh, he shifted until they were shoulder to shoulder on the couch. ‘Then, as much as I hate to say it, maybe Si’s not it for you.’
Hearing her brother voice the painful realisation she held in her heart, soothed the worst of the lingering ache. It still stung, but the bite of it lessened. She dropped her head to his shoulder and swallowed against the lump in her throat. ‘Yeah, that’s kind of what I figured.’
For a long moment they sat there. He finally broke the quiet. ‘Promise me something.’
‘Maybe.’
‘Don’t use this as another reason to punish yourself.’
She lifted her head and went to push away. ‘Ruin—’
He stopped her by simply laying a hand on her knee. ‘Ease up, babe, you think Marnie wanted you to go through this life miserable?’
She lifted her head and met his gaze, unable to escape the knowledge and love staring back. There was only one answer she could give. ‘No.’
Something relaxed in his face, revealing a glimpse into the love he held for her. ‘Then find a way to forgive yourself before you lose whatever chance you have at finding your own slice of happiness, yeah?’
Somehow, someway, this time, his request managed to get in and set up shop. He was right, she knew it, but damn if his request wasn’t scary as shit. So she gave him the best she could. ‘I’ll try.’ Unable to leave things heavy and serious, she added, ‘But only because you’re a pain in my ass.’
He flashed her a cocky grin. ‘It’s my job, and one I take great pride in.’ He stood up, and stretched.
She rose and was unsurprised to find herself wrapped in his arms. ‘Love you, Ruin.’
‘Love you too, troublemaker.’ He let her go and turned to leave. ‘I need to go drag a certain hot blonde out of bed, so we can get this show on the road.’
She followed behind him. ‘I don’t need the kinky details of your life, brother of mine. Especially not before breakfast.’
He chuckled and pulled opened the door. In the hall, he turned. ‘You going to Mandy’s before you head out?’
She leaned against the doorjamb. ‘Yeah, want to check in on Katie.’ The last of the girls Simon and Crane managed to save from the Raiders, but not before Katie endured a brutal rape that left her in a coma for weeks. ‘Her parents are due today. Want to make sure she’s steady before she leaves.’
Grim understanding lurked in his eyes. ‘You’ve been good for her.’
The quiet pride in his voice settled over her with an uncomfortable weight. ‘She’s a survivor.’
Something dark
came and went before he chucked her chin. ‘Takes one to know one.’
Chapter 9
After an interesting morning of half-truths and sideways glances, Math stashed the last of the supplies into one of the two saddlebags on the back of the bike Reaper arranged. Vex stood off to the side, talking with the burly-chested Boden, Simon’s second-in-command, about patrol assignments. So far the bounty hunter story was holding strong, and while they weren’t obvious about it, the Vultures had made sure Math had been seen around. No sign of the city guards, but he didn’t think that would last much longer. With their bikes packed, he was ready to hit the road with Vex.
He walked over to where she and Boden were talking, catching the tail end of the conversation. Vex’s gaze flicked to him before going back to Boden. ‘Charity said she’d be happy to cover my shift, but Simon might need her to run guard on the next delivery.’
‘With Ruin back, he can take your position, leaving Charity to help out here.’ Boden’s attention shifted to the pack of kids racing through the main square. This time in the morning the place was chaotic as deliveries arrived, traders set up their booths for the day, and people bustled about their business. When the kids barreled closer, Math wasn’t surprised when the older man snagged the collar of the one in the lead. ‘Jess, what did I tell you about racing through here, boy?’
Dangling from his fist, the mopped headed pre-teen tried to pull off sheepish. ‘Sorry, Boden. We’re late for class.’
‘Be later if you knock over someone’s display. Slow it down.’ After getting an enthusiastic nod, he freed the boy and turned back to Vex. ‘You heading to Mandy’s?’
She nodded. ‘Quick stop before we head out.’ She gazed out over the square. ‘Any idea when Katie’s parents are due?’
‘Last I heard, puts them here around noon.’ Someone called Boden’s name and he raised a hand in acknowledgement. His attention went to Math. ‘You following your bounty west?’
Not at all surprised by how fast the community grapevine worked, Math stuck to the vague details Reaper set loose. ‘Signs indicate he may be looking to get lost in an urban centre. Be nice to get in front of him before that.’
‘That might be a bit of a challenge, even with Vex helping you,’ Boden warned.
‘Like that ever stopped me,’ Vex drawled.
‘You be careful, girl. I’m tired of patching up my friends.’ The older man turned to Math and offered his hand. ‘Good hunting.’
Math took it. ‘Thanks.’ Then he and Vex watched Boden walk away.
Next to him, Vex shifted towards the bikes. ‘Know you’re anxious to get moving, but this will only take a few. We can ride instead of walk.’
‘Not a problem.’ He fell into step beside her. ‘You mind if I ask why we’re stopping to see Pebble Creek’s doc?’
‘Not a secret,’ she answered, but there was a curious tension to her shoulders. She shot him a sidelong glance. ‘Mercy tell you about the kids the Raiders took?’
‘The ones Simon and Crane managed to intercept? Yeah, fucking twisted shit.’ The vile business of kidnapping and selling kids was far too lucrative and happened all too frequently. ‘Heard Istaqa’s son was one of them.’
‘Yeah, ever met him?’
Math shook his head.
‘Good kid.’ Vex stopped by the bikes and turned to him, folding her arms over her chest. ‘Katie was the oldest of the girls in the group.’
He stopped in front of her noting the shadows of anger lurking behind her set jaw and felt a pit open in his stomach, but he didn’t interrupt.
Vex’s gaze drifted over his shoulder, focused on something only she could see. ‘She protected the younger kids from the Raiders.’ Her throat bobbed as she visibly swallowed, but her gaze came back to him, fury a flame in the amber depths. ‘But it cost her.’
He didn’t need details, his mind could fill in the blanks. A young female at the mercy of the animalistic Raiders? It was a miracle she survived.
So when Vex asked, ‘Mind waiting outside when we get to Mandy’s?’
He didn’t hesitate. ‘Not at all.’
The tension holding her shoulders stiff visibly loosened. ‘Thanks.’
Together they mounted their bikes, kicked them to life, and headed out.
She led the way through town into a tucked away neighbourhood dotted with old growth trees and turbine blades capturing the wind to power the neat homes below. Flat roof gardens showcased the rural attitude of utilising natural resources. The cities still relied on the more expensive fossil fuels.
It wasn’t long before Vex turned into a ranch style home guarded by a well-tended yard and shut down her engine. The door opened before the rumbles of their bikes faded away and the relaxed quiet returned. An older woman with dark hair and glasses stepped out on to the porch, then waited at the top of the steps.
Math recognised her from this morning at the dining room at Grave’s Hall. She’d been sharing a table with a man Reaper called Worth. Vex got off her bike and made her way up the steps. Math waited with the bikes.
‘Hey, Mandy.’
‘Hey, Vex.’
‘Wanted to swing by before I headed out, see if Katie was up for a visit.’
The older woman shifted to the side, giving Vex a straight shot to the house. ‘I think it’ll do her a world of good. She’s been a bit anxious waiting for her parents.’
Vex stopped at the doorway. ‘I promise not to stay long.’
Mandy patted her shoulder. ‘Take your time, you know she likes being with you.’
Vex didn’t answer but ducked inside.
Mandy wandered down the steps. ‘Morning.’
‘Morning.’ Math watched the doctor draw close.
When she reached the other side of Vex’s bike, she tilted her head. ‘Saw you this morning at the dining hall. Crow, right?’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ He offered her a friendly grin.
Her nose scrunched. ‘Just Mandy, ma’am makes me sound old.’
‘Apologies, Mandy. Though not sure that’s a worry for you.’
Her return smile eased the lines around her eyes, but even her soft chuckle couldn’t erase the stress she carried. She turned her face up to the sun, closing her eyes behind the wire frame glasses. ‘Beautiful morning.’
‘That it is.’
They shared a quiet moment before she dropped her head and opened her eyes. ‘Looks like you and Vex are heading out. Taking her some place interesting?’
He tucked his hands in the back pockets of the jeans and rocked on his heels. ‘Depends on your definition of interesting.’ When she quirked an eyebrow, he elaborated. ‘I’ve been tracking a bounty west, but the sucker’s been a bit slippery. Heard Mercy was hanging here lately, and figured since I was in the area might as well stop in for a visit, see if she was interested in helping.’
‘I’m guessing she turned you down?’
He managed to pull off a passable ‘aw shucks’ expression. ‘Might’ve been able to convince her to join me, but seems I can’t compete with the bruiser she hooked up with.’
Mandy waved to a couple walking down the sidewalk, waiting to continue their conversation until they were out of earshot. She hitched a hip against Vex’s bike. ‘So how’d you end up with Vex instead?’
‘Not quite sure. I think I caught Reaper in a charitable frame of mind.’
‘Uh-huh.’ A wealth of disbelief hung in her response. ‘More likely he’s hoping you’ll keep her out of trouble.’
His grin widened. ‘Reaper may have mentioned that when he sprung the news on Vex.’
An easy silence settled between them. Math watched the humour fade from Mandy’s face to be replaced by a pensive frown. For some reason he thought the look held more naturalness than her earlier humour. Seeing it, he found himself asking, ‘Mandy, you okay?’
Her gaze jumped to him as if she’d forgotten he was there. A hint of red seeped along her cheeks as she waved a hand absently. ‘Sorry, my mind wandered.’ She s
traightened from the bike, brushing a hand over her hip. ‘Actually, I was wondering. You mentioned you were heading west. Any chance you’ll be stopping in New Seattle?’
Curiosity perked and he cocked his head. ‘Maybe, but I’m kind of hoping we’ll get ahead of him before he hits the urban centres, especially New Seattle. Damn hard to track people there. Too many places to hide.’
She worried her bottom lip. ‘We hit a snag with one of our medical shipments. I was hoping Vex might be able to pick a few items up and bring them back.’
Just then Vex pushed out the front door, drawing both of their attention. Math clocked her strained smile. He wasn’t the only one.
Mandy studied the younger woman. ‘You okay?’
‘Will be.’ Vex dragged the hand not covered in silver through her hair, as she blew out a long breath. ‘Sometimes I wish—’
‘Don’t.’ Mandy’s voice was sharp, but the next came out softer. ‘You can’t change what happened. Focusing on it does neither of you any good.’
Math didn’t need to be a student of human nature to hear the weight of a story in Mandy’s warning. It made him wonder just what the older woman survived to earn such knowledge.
Mandy patted Vex. ‘The road ahead won’t be easy, but Katie won’t be alone. She has you, and she has her family. That’s more than most ever get, right?’
‘Right.’ Vex nodded.
‘Okay then.’ Mandy stepped back, her tone taking on a brisk note. ‘I was just telling Crow, if you two happen to make it to New Seattle, there were a couple of items I could use.’
‘Yeah, that last shipment was short.’ Vex settled on her bike. ‘Give me a list and if we make it that far, I’d be happy to make time.’
Mandy pulled a folded sheet from her pocket. Vex tucked it away and they exchanged goodbyes. Mandy went back up the steps as Vex kicked her bike into gear. In minutes Math followed her out of the neighbourhood, unsurprised when she pulled over just before they were due to hit the main road.
She braced her feet, shut her bike down, and leaned over the handlebars, as he came to a stop next to her. She made a hell of a picture standing there. Long legs clad in denim, her curves tucked into the fitted t-shirt, wild hair banded carelessly back, one of the thin, beaded braids trailing her profile. ‘Need to ensure we gather our shadows, so going to head down the main street.’