by Jami Gray
Her gaze snagged on the thin red line circling his throat from Jack’s knife. A romp with Math would be fun, but the aftermath, no pun intended, was uncertain. Based on her past, she figured the odds favoured disastrous. She’d known him, what? Two days? And in two days he’d managed to get into a fight, what? ‘Three times?’
‘Three times what?’
Her gaze jumped to his. ‘What?’
‘Three times what?’
Realising she’d spoken out loud, she shook her head and began to turn away, rubbing at an ache setting up shop behind her shoulder. ‘Sorry … thinking out loud.’
He sat up, caught her other wrist and tugged until she turned back to him. He studied her face until she worried he could see what was simmering beneath. ‘Three times what?’
Feeling unaccountably foolish, she grimaced. ‘Fights.’ When he continued to wait for her to expand she blew out a breath. ‘In the two days since we’ve met, you’ve managed to get into three brawls.’
Now it was his turn to look baffled. ‘Has it only been two days? Damn, seems longer.’
The wry note in his voice as he echoed her thoughts made her laugh, but it faded as she caught the rising intensity of something deeper than interest in the steel blue depths of his eyes. Unable to look away, she stared back as he watched her, his thumb brushing absently against the sprinting pulse in her wrist. ‘First time I’ve heard that.’
Wary of the expression she couldn’t decipher and caught by the incandescent lure of his gaze, her voice came out quiet. ‘Heard what?’
‘You laugh like that. Looks good on you.’ Before she could fall further down that rabbit hole, his voice lost the soft and went back to a familiar tease. ‘Need I remind you, I wasn’t the one who started the fights?’
‘I can agree on two.’ Willing to play along for now, she pulled against his hold, not much, just enough to get him to let go. ‘The punks in the alley, yes. Trip’s welcoming committee, also yes.’
Math’s grin escaped as he laid back in his earlier position, hands behind his head, ankles crossed. ‘I’d like to point out, you were a willing participant in two of the three.’
He was one long, lean temptation to stroke and touch. Down, girl! To keep her hands from betraying her, she shoved them on her hips. ‘But rolling around in my pad with Reaper?’
‘Don’t tell me you and Ruin never get into it.’
‘Well, yeah, but...’ She and her twin knew exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction. Most siblings did. But Math and Reaper were different. The disturbing depth of their underlying anger was unfathomable. She would be ripped apart if she waded into that abyss. ‘Seems like what’s between you two isn’t going to be solved with a couple of shoving matches.’
Math’s grin faded, until all that was left was a weighty consideration. He studied her for what seemed like forever, his thoughts tucked behind a blank wall while tension crept higher with each passing second. Finally coming to some internal tipping point, he broke the quiet. ‘You offering family relationship advice, Vex?’
Bits and pieces of their confrontation dogged her during this morning’s ride, leaving her with a shit ton of questions. She knew it was unwise to step into that mess, but she did it anyway, ignoring the warning bells indicating danger ahead. ‘Not sure I’m good on the advice front.’ Her only reference was her relationship with Ruin, and lately even that had felt off. Completely out of her depth, she had to either tread the emotional currents like a mad woman, or open her mouth and inhale. ‘But I can offer an ear.’
Another long moment passed as they simply stared at each other, a mix of unnamed emotions swirling between them. Then Math sighed and shifted an arm to pat a spot next to him on the pallet. ‘Sit before you fall down.’
Grateful for the momentary reprieve, she eyed the makeshift bed with serious concern. ‘Aren’t you afraid of what’s nesting in there?’ Granted, beds were a luxury in the Hole, and as Trip’s ‘guests’, they were lucky to rate the privacy of a locking door and any sort of bedding, but still, a woman had her standards …
He cocked an eyebrow. ‘Better than sleeping on dirt and rocks.’
He had a point. She turned and sank down, her body stiff with nerves and a healthy dose of ‘what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-Vex’. An undignified squeak escaped when he curled up, snagged her waist and drew her down alongside him. She stared at the water-stained ceiling, her thoughts scrambling for purchase even as the heat from his body seeped into hers replacing locked muscles with taffy. Since she didn’t have a clue how to start this whole advice thing, she waited for him.
The arm around her shoulders tightened, bringing her closer as if offering a protective harbour. ‘Relax, Vex. I won’t bite.’
I might. She bit her lower lip, keeping the wanton thought silent because this was so not the right time for that. Hell, it may never be the right time. Blowing out a soft breath she draped an arm over his waist, laid her head on his shoulder, her cheek against his chest, and curled into him. This close, she couldn’t escape the teasing scent of warm male brushed with a hint of spice.
‘How long have you been riding with Reaper?’ His voice reverberated in his chest, rumbling against her ear with a comforting echo.
Her shoulders rose and fell in answer. ‘Close to ten years now.’
He played with the ends of one of her braids, running a thumb over the beads, his knuckles brushing the upper slope of her breast. ‘You met in Portland?’
Forcing her attention to their conversation, she nodded. ‘Yeah, Ruin and I were running the streets with a crew. Had been for … I don’t know … four, maybe closer to five years.’ She realised if she wanted to get, she’d have to give. Fair is fair. It had nothing to do with Ruin’s accusation of being closed off. ‘We grew up in the Dalles—a valley outside of Portland—in a cabin in the mountains. It was far enough off the beaten path we didn’t worry about getting on anyone’s radar. Our dad bailed after Mom died. Left to go hunting, never came back. Ruin thinks something ate him, I think he just kept walking. Either way, we stayed at the cabin until the provisions ran out. We decided to try our luck in the city. Typical kid stuff.’
‘Yeah, I get that.’ His hand left her hair and began stroking her spine in a slow, absent motion.
She brought her hand up from his waist and rested her palm against his heart. Lifting her head, she set her chin on the back of her hand. She wanted to see his face as she began to pick her path. ‘You and Reaper grew up together?’
‘For a bit.’ As close as she was, she didn’t miss the flex of muscle along his jaw or the flash of vulnerability. ‘Reaper and I share a mom, different sperm donors. For a while it was the three of us, then when I was about twelve—probably closer to thirteen—Mom got sick.’ Another tick along his jaw and Vex’s heart winced at the deliberate emptiness of his answer. ‘When she died, Reaper dropped me off with a friend of hers, Cara. He hit the road and I didn’t see him again for years.’
She didn’t need to be a mind reader to click into the fact that short though his retelling was, the untold story floating underneath was both epic and tragic. Determined to keep treading, she decided not to agitate the waves. ‘That’s rough.’
A harsh bark of laughter. ‘That’s fucking life, right?’
No argument there. ‘Why’d he leave?’ Because based on the latent fury simmering under the surface that was what lay at the core of the divide between him and Reaper.
It was Math’s turn to shrug. ‘Don’t know, don’t fucking care.’
She didn’t interrupt to call him on the obvious lie since it wouldn’t be welcomed.
He looked away, his gaze aimed at the far wall. ‘When he was gone I took over, did the best I could. Wasn’t enough.’ The hand against her spine fisted. ‘Ended up on my own a couple years later when Cara was killed by some strung out street thug.’ He dropped his gaze to hers. ‘I made sure she was the last one he hurt.’
‘Is that when the Strix found you?’
�
��Yeah.’ He fell silent, lost in memories, his hand absently playing with her braids. ‘Finally found something that made sense. Got a new family, a new sense of direction.’
‘And became a master ninja-spy.’ That earned her a tiny smile. Remembering the driving need she had to find her own place, her own tribe, she got it. It was what she eventually found in the Vultures. ‘You got lucky.’
‘Yeah, I did.’ He stopped, and she wondered if this was as far as they’d get on the sharing thing. The thought pinched. Instead he kept going, his gaze focused on something she couldn’t see. ‘Thing is, without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I was so pissed at Reaper for bailing, so pissed at the world for taking my mom, taking Cara, all I wanted to do was make everyone else hurt.’ He dropped his hand from behind his head so he could trace a finger along her jaw. ‘The Strix, they gave me something else to focus on, helped me see beyond all that shit. Changed the path I was on.’
His barely-there touch left goosebumps marching down her spine, but she managed not to shiver. Clearing her suddenly dry throat, she managed a husky, ‘For the better, I’m guessing?’
‘Yeah.’ He flashed a grin. ‘Not sure how many could say joining a league of assassins was the better path, but in my case, it definitely was.’
‘I can see that.’
‘Can you?’
She arched a brow. ‘A little hard to stay angry when you’re working your ass off.’ A lesson she learned after joining the Vultures. That first year, Reaper and Havoc had run her and Ruin ragged. Their way of seeing how much the twins were willing to take before cracking. Thing was, she and Ruin knew a good thing when they fell into it, especially after their time with the crew in Portland. They never cracked.
He tapped her nose. ‘Not as hard as you think.’ He tucked his hand back behind his head and stared at the ceiling. ‘Anger is a great incentive, but it’s hell on your self-control. My trainer thought I’d never get that through my thick skull.’
‘But you did.’
‘Eventually.’
‘If you’re so Zen with your anger, then why the exchange of fists with Reaper in my living room?’
‘That’s a standard form of greeting for us.’ Lines dug across his forehead. ‘When I ran across Reaper right before Greer hit us, it ended up going pretty much the same—he lost his shit, got in my face, opinions were shared, accusations were thrown, fists followed.’
Normally such exchanges were a great form of sibling therapy, but she sensed Math and Reaper’s issues were beyond that. And didn’t that suck? ‘You ever see that changing?’
‘I don’t know.’ He dropped his gaze to her, a grim mix of anger and misery swimming in his eyes. ‘Logically it should, we’re two grown men. Unfortunately, every time I’m in a room with him all I can think is he bailed when I needed him. Why should I give him another shot? If he left again …’
His brutal honesty snuck under her guard and brushed against that ugly part she tried to deny existed. The angry, bitter girl who lost everyone—even Ruin to some extent. Especially with Charity in the picture. Not that she begrudged her twin his happiness, or Havoc’s his with Mercy, but it had shifted the dynamics of their tribe, until she felt like she was being shoved to the outside. The uncomfortable sensation had her laying her head against Math’s chest to avoid his gaze. It didn’t stop his admission from clawing through her brain, unearthing her earlier conversation with Ruin and how loving someone—even a brother—was a two-way street. ‘I get it.’
Under her cheek, Math’s chest shifted and his hand bunched in her braids, tugging until she tipped her head back. Unable to avoid it, her gaze went to his and she stared into the drowning depths of dark blue, worried he was seeing more than she wanted. Without releasing his hold, he shifted, rolling her to her back as he came above her. She held his shoulders as the world spun. Braced on one hand, he carefully untangled his hand from her hair and brought it up to cup her face, his thumb brushing over her lower lip.
That simple touch set her body alight. Slumbering awareness flared awake, leaving her wanting, and her heart racing. A reaction she knew he didn’t miss, because an answering flush rode under his cheeks and his lids went to a sexy half-mast. In slow motion, his head lowered and he replaced his thumb with his lips. The kiss was strangely chaste, just a heated press of lips against lips. Still it sank deep and for a breathless moment, something infinitely fragile stretched between them, a connection she never encountered. It slipped through her fractured emotional armour and triggered a nearly imperceptible, slow moving chain reaction, leaving her shaky.
He pulled back, his gaze still holding hers while a million and one emotions washed through his face too jumbled for her to decipher. ‘This is a bad idea.’ His thumb swept along her jaw, and as she leaned into his caress, he cupped the side of her face.
On more levels than she could count. ‘Yeah.’ Even as she agreed, she was having a hell of a time pinning down the reasons why, thanks to the overwhelming hunger waking under his touch.
‘Tell me to stop.’ Lust roughened his words and stroked over her.
Like hell. She lived with regrets. What was one more? Taking this—taking him—could go either way. ‘No.’ She curled her fingers into his shoulders and using the leverage to her advantage, managed to rise up and tease his mouth with hers, nibbling along his lips. Something she wanted to do since their heated exchange during his impromptu haircut. Licking along his lower lip, she took her time, indulging in the rising wave of need crashing through her.
It didn’t take long before he gave in with an audible groan. ‘Vex, dammit, woman.’ He chased her smiling mouth with his. This time there was nothing chaste about his kiss. His hand slid from her cheek to the base of her skull, cradling her head so he could lick across her lips with a stark carnality. Hard though it was, she managed not to give in. His low, warning growl vibrated against her lips as he tugged on her hair.
She nipped his lower lip in retaliation before drawing back. ‘You called?’
He studied her and whatever he saw had him saying, ‘Fuck it.’
Lust, need, and desire rose in a fierce, overwhelming wave. Before she could consider how he’d take it, she shot back, ‘Rather you fucked me, hot shot.’
In a single heartbeat his eyes went molten and an answering hunger flushed his skin, adding a wicked eroticism to his features. Not his style to back down from a challenge, she knew. He took her mouth with a rough tenderness. Their tongues tangled and danced in a sensual duel. The dark, decadent enticement of his taste raced through her, like a lit fuse. Detonations followed the wave of heated arousal. Skin became sensitised, aching, craving more. The speed of her arousal left her trembling as miniature starbursts went off behind her closed lids.
He left her mouth to explore, leaving her gasping. He nipped her chin before trailing a series of open-mouthed kisses up her neck until he could nuzzle behind her ear. Shivers broke along her spine, spreading over her arms as she held on, wanting more. ‘Math.’ His name came out between a plea and a curse.
A brief punishing nip to her ear was lost under the wash of blinding desire as he retraced his path along her neck. When he hit a sensitive spot, she arched with a soft, needy cry. Caught under him, legs tangled, she used her position to shamelessly writhe against him. Her hips rose and fell against the hard, hot length of him as he matched her movements. Despite the layers of clothes still between them her body went into a supernova meltdown. Determined to get to his skin, she tugged on his shirt, dragging it up his back. ‘Off, off, off.’ It came out on a breathless chant.
‘Patience—’ lust turned his voice husky as he licked her neck, ‘—is a virtue.’ He made his point by setting his mouth against the sensitive tendon and sucking sharply.
‘You have me confused with someone with virtue.’ It didn’t come out with her usual snark. She continued to rid him of his shirt.
Male chuckles were muffled as together they managed to get the stubborn material off.
; As soon as his shirt was gone, she took advantage and fed her craving for his skin. Slowly she dragged her hands up and over his ribs before trailing them back around and down his abs. Under her palms she could feel the bumps and valleys of various marks—like a map of his life etched into his skin. She lifted and began peppering the scars with soft, wet kisses.
‘Vex.’
She rolled her eyes up to see his head dropping to watch her tease him, his eyes burning with a need she recognised. When he caught her watching him, a low growl escaped. Ignoring it, she kept up her carnal exploration, her fingers dipping under his waistband to tease. Then she dragged her tongue along the centre of his chest. The big body above hers stilled, then shuddered, sending a visceral thrill through her. His hips rolled, pressing the hard length of his dick against her aching centre. The sensation short-circuited her nerve endings. Clutching his waist, she threw her head back, her mouth open in a soundless gasp as she fought for air. When she finally found it, she managed a husky, ‘Do it again.’
His grin, filled with wicked intent, came slow. ‘Like this?’
He flexed hips, and despite the barriers of their jeans his hard cock slid against her with torturously slow intent, dragging a husky moan from her. ‘Oh, yeah …’ As he sent her body hurtling towards the edge, she dug her fingers into his ass and arched her back desperately trying to get closer. Before she could, he pulled back. His unexpected move left her off balance. ‘Math, what—’
The rest of her question was cut off by his kiss. His mouth took hers with a stunning savagery that burned away every last thought, leaving her with nothing but sensations. Every inch of her body lit up as if lightning connected each nerve ending, leaving behind an electric demand. She barely registered when he shifted their positions, putting her on top.