Evie frowned as she shot Eth a concerned look. He held up his hands in surrender. “I will have him at your side ready for your wedding. Scout’s honor.”
“You were never in the Scouts,” I reminded him.
“But she didn’t know that until you opened your trap, did she?”
Evie smiled serenely, but with a wicked undercurrent. “If Clay wants a bachelor party, he can have one. I’ll even give you permission to organize anything your heart desires for the night.”
Eth grinned and shot me a look that indicated that he thought he was winning.
Sometimes it was all too clear that he didn’t know my fiancée very well.
Evie leaned closer to him and whispered, low and serious, “But if he’s late, missing, or one hair on his head is hurt, I’ll tear off your favorite parts and you’ll never enjoy any talent again, fae or otherwise.”
Eth winced as he clenched his legs together.
“Understood?” Evie asked, her eyebrow raised in question.
Eth nodded. “Understood.”
“Good. Now, will you please excuse us, some of us need to get laid.”
I stood staring at her slack-jawed until she tugged my hand to pull me along after her.
“You’ve been spending entirely too much time around Eth,” I said as I fell into step beside her.
She chuckled as she practically dragged me back to our room.
CHAPTER SIX
THE COLORFUL AURA emanating from the fledgling grew weaker almost by the second, flickering in and out. Her wings were thin and coiled, fluttering uselessly against one another.
As I looked down at the baby, I began to question Mom’s judgment. She’d decided that it would be a good idea for me to learn the ways of the fae before Evie and I left the court. It was as if Mom worried that the instant I left the protection of the gossamer walls, I’d return to old habits and become the hate-filled person I’d been until Evie had shown me a different path.
It was silly really. I could no more harm any of the court than I could hurt Evie herself. Regardless, to keep the peace and keep Mom happy, which in turn pleased Evie, I agreed to spend a couple of days shadowing Aiden and learning the role of protector.
“Fiona said you would be able to help her,” the mother of the fledgling said. April, the fae’s name floated into my mind as if it had been whispered into my ear. It was something I’d come to accept about the court—the hive-like mind. It wasn’t as though anyone could directly read thoughts, but within the walls of the place any common knowledge question was easily answered without ever being voiced. “Can you? Please?”
Unsure what to do, I deferred to Aiden. It was one thing to volunteer to help the court and learn more about this part of my heritage, another entirely knowing what to do or being able to do it. Although certain things just seemed to come to me like second nature, I was lost in this instance.
It wasn't that long ago that I would have been remorseless about the struggle for life the young fae presented and heartless in the face of her suffering. Now though, my heart ached for both the child and her mother. I only wished there was something I could do. April really needed to take her fledgling to see Mackenzie or one of the other healers, not Aiden or me.
Before I could voice that opinion, Aiden nodded to April. She handed her child over to him with tear-soaked eyes. She pressed a lingering kiss against her fledgling’s forehead before turning and leaving.
“What's happening?” I asked.
“It's time for you to see the truth about changelings.”
The true horror of the moment dawned on me.
“What? No. I can't do something like that. Lou—” The argument died on my lips as I reminded myself again that Lou hadn't been taken by the fae; she wasn't a changeling. It was hard to wipe over twenty-years of lies from my mind in one sweep. I sucked down a breath. “What needs to happen?”
“We have scouts in hospitals who will tell us the best human candidates for a swap. Children who will not survive the week regardless of advances in human medicine. We also have a few who do random checks on all children of the right age and gender, looking for any who have succumbed to death overnight.” Although his words seemed uncaring, his voice belied his emotions and he held the fledgling in a tender embrace, taking care to support her fragile body.
I swallowed down my horror, trying to let the part of me that had run thousands of operations as a Rain Elite take control. I hadn’t let him out of his cage too often since the Bayview raid. “And then?”
“Then this little girl will be glamoured to remove her wings and will be made to look like the child she is replacing.”
I wasn't sure whether to be hopeful or horrified. One certainty was that my features betrayed the disgust that ran as an undercurrent to the thoughts.
Aiden looked remorseful. “It is not a part of the job I enjoy, but it is helpful to remind yourself that without this option both the child and the fledgling will die and two sets of parents will grieve. This is the path of the least amount of heartbreak for all involved.”
I thought of the swell of Evie's growing belly. How would I feel if our child was replaced by another? For us to not even be given the option of choosing to suffer through death rather than raise a stranger. I shook my head. “No, I can't do it.”
In an instant, the sickly fae was in my hold. “If you cannot, then maybe you will return to April and inform her that you forbid her fledgling to live.”
The baby's aura flickered and sputtered. Aiden pressed a few drops of liquid to her lips and the aura sparked back into life, but it was dimmer than before.
“Make your choice swiftly. She has possibly an hour before even the strongest of our enchantments will no longer assist her on this plane.”
“Why?”
He took the fledgling from me again. “We do not know. We have not been able to ascertain why some fledglings are less able to cope with the rigors of the ethereal plane than others. The best guess anyone has is that there is a genetic throwback to past generations who intermingled with humans and had less than magical babies.”
“Like me you mean?” I said, raising my eyebrow in challenge.
He offered me a sad smile. “Exactly like you. Your child may prove to be magical and able to live in court, but she might be just as unable to survive on the ethereal plane as this little one. At least until her body is grown enough to handle the stress of walking the path between worlds.”
I looked down at the girl in his arms and began to picture the situation a little differently. If Evie and I weren’t able to provide for our child out in the real world, had never had to survive against the Rain, and had no way of keeping our daughter safe, what would I do to ensure her survival? The answer was immediate and obvious—anything and everything I could. What other choices did the fae mothers have in the situation?
“Okay, I’ll do what we have to.”
Aiden nodded. “Thank you. I trust that by the time this night is over, you will have a different view of changelings.”
Although I didn’t say anything to Aiden, I was certain he was right. Whether or not I believed that it was the right thing to do, I could understand the fae’s reasoning. I just hoped he realized that if any boundaries were overstepped, I wouldn’t hesitate to put a stop to things regardless of who my mother was or what she expected of me.
I followed Aiden out of the court, and we were joined by a pink fairy I didn’t recognize. Jacinta, her name floated to me just as April’s had. It was one aspect of the court that I’d never fully get used to, one I couldn’t explain to Evie—not since I’d discovered the almost hive-mind-like knowledge was something that only fae with a blood-lineage link to the court shared.
When we passed into the cool evening, Aiden passed the fledgling to Jacinta, who began to work her magic over the fledgling. Swirls of her pink aura surrounded the fledgling’s face.
“What’s she doing exactly?” I asked Aiden.
“Binding the fled
gling’s fae abilities. She is far too weak to risk her using them, and it is too dangerous to both her and her human host family for her to be allowed to keep them.”
“Will Jacinta be in her head?” The way Caelan was in Lou’s, I added internally.
“No. It is only dark magic that will leave that sort of mark on another’s soul to be exploited. Jacinta will leave the child free to see the fae world, but unable to move between planes.”
I fell silent as I walked alongside Aiden, who was alert and attentive to everything going on around us, and Jacinta, who still cradled the little girl tightly in her arms and whispered words of fae enchantments, binding the fledgling’s powers and preparing her for her new, human life.
“How do you know where you need to go?” I asked Aiden as he walked with confidence through the streets.
“Through my link to the court,” he said as if it were obvious.
As I thought about it, I supposed it was obvious that he would receive the information the same way I was able to instantly learn the names of any fae I encountered. The telepathic link must have been stronger for him though, because I was already unable to hear anything from the court.
“It is the same way I knew how to find Lynnie before she came to our court.”
“Why do you do that?”
He paused for a moment and offered me a questioning look. “Why do I do what?”
“Call Evie that.”
His lips turned up into a secret smile. “I could equally ask why you insist on calling her Evie.”
I was taken aback by his question. She’d always been Evie. “Because that’s her name. It’s how she introduced herself to me.”
“Precisely. You do understand the way Lynnie felt when she first arrived into my life?”
Even though his words weren’t intended to hurt, they reminded me of the choices and mistakes Evie and I had both made over the years—decisions that had torn us apart for more time than we’d spent together. Time we’d never get back. Those choices were also what had driven her to find comfort in Aiden’s arms—something I couldn’t begrudge either of them for, but also something I could never completely forget.
We have the rest of our lives to make up for those mistakes, I reminded myself.
“She’s told me a little about that time,” I confirmed for Aiden.
“Then you will understand that she needed to not be herself for some time.” A shudder ran through him, from the top of his head to the tips of his wings. “For over three years, she has been Lynnie to me. It is impossible to change that.”
I nodded to concede to his point. After all, if Evie had returned to me and declared she wanted to be known as Lynnie, it would have been next to impossible for me to think of her as such; the name Evie was wrapped too tightly around my memories and my heart.
“We’re here,” Aiden said, stopping abruptly in front of a brownstone.
I looked at the locked door and my stomach kicked with guilt over what we were about to do. Then I stole a quick glance in Jacinta’s direction and at the fledgling in her arms, who was already looking stronger and better colored than when we’d been in the court. It made me feel a little better, but then I recalled what I’d been told about the changelings.
Inside the house, a baby was either dead or dying . . .
“I can’t do this.” My voice caught in my throat. “I . . . I can’t.”
Aiden spun to me, his mouth was open as if he was ready to argue some more, but the mild irritation on his features, the dip in his brow and downward curl of his lip, was wiped clean with one glance at my face. With a grim nod, he let me off the hook, and then he led Jacinta into the house.
While they did whatever it was that they needed to do, I paced the sidewalk. Maybe it made me a coward not wanting to go through with it, but I couldn’t. The thought still horrified me, but I understood it in ways I wouldn’t have a few years ago. It wasn’t judgement for their actions that had stopped me from walking through the door, but rather the father in me. Even looking at the building, I wondered about the parents and their baby. What could have gone wrong that this particular family would lose their child? Did they know their daughter was sickly? Would they instinctively know something was different when the morning came or would they make it through the rest of their lives unaffected by their daughter’s death?
It made me want to rush to Evie, to wrap her in my arms and whisk her from the court sooner rather than later. What if the fae enchantments in the food were causing unknown damage to our daughter? What if we weren’t enough to keep her safe?
I couldn’t say how long I’d paced the streets for before a solemn Aiden returned to my side.
“Let us return to the court,” he said, putting one hand on my shoulder and guiding me away from the house.
“What about Jacinta?”
“She still has some tasks to attend to.”
As his words registered with me, I felt a weight settle over my limbs. I couldn’t think about what he meant, what they were supposed to do, or I would lose my last grip on sanity. All I wanted to do was get away from there. Maybe one day I would gather the courage to ask him what happened next, but not until I had my own daughter held securely in my arms.
With an increasingly squeamish feeling building within me, I nodded. “I need to find Evie.”
He nodded. “I don’t think anyone ever walks inside on their first attempt.”
“I don’t think I’ll try another attempt.”
“What we do, we do because we have to. There is a bene—”
I cut him off by raising my hand. “I know. I’m not saying that I don’t see some benefit in it, or that I can’t understand the logic. I’m not sure I would want my child taken without my knowledge if something happened, but I do believe that you’re coming from a good place. I just . . . I can’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that.”
He nodded. “I understand. Thank you for trying and for considering our view. I think that is what your mother wanted more than anything.”
When we arrived at the court, I didn’t go in search of Evie. Although I wanted the comfort only she could offer, there was no way I could accept it just yet. First, I needed to process my experience with the fae changeling. Almost as soon as I’d walked into the court, it was too much. I left and headed straight back out to Bayview.
After a taxi ride where I was certain the driver thought I was insane, I headed into the lobby of the hotel and made my way to the bank of elevators. A few of the hopefuls, with their raindrop pendants pinned to their lapels, nodded in greeting as they watched me pass. I was thankful none of them tried to stop me.
I scanned my keycard and headed straight up to Eth’s office on level seven. I didn’t expect him to be there, but he had a small liquor cabinet and I would be able to have a drink or two in peace. My biggest need was to be left alone to decompress the thoughts swirling in my head.
Just as I was pouring my first Scotch, the door opened. Despite the fairly safe surroundings, my hand went straight for my holster as I swung around to confront the new arrival.
“Are you gonna shoot me in my own office? That’s cold, bro.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked as my heart slowly returned to a normal speed.
“It’s my office. I could ask you the same thing.”
“Sorry. I just needed a quiet drink. I had a lot on my mind.”
“Getting cold feet on your hot bride?”
I scoffed. “Hardly. In fact, I can’t wait for that.”
“Then why are you sitting here alone in my office at this hour?”
While I thought about the best way to explain the night I’d had, I finished pouring my drink and then added a glass for him too.
After passing his drink to him, I rested against the edge of the mahogany cabinet with my glass beside me. I dipped my head. “I went on a mission with the fae tonight.”
“Okay?”
It was clear from his tone that he was confused by
the statement because we’d both done a few small missions with the fae, mostly helping with the sort of threats we usually dealt with. We’d put down a revenant, a werewolf, and a vampire clan at their side. The fae didn’t get involved with cases outside of their own kind generally, but when they impacted the court in some way, either by bringing attention to Central Park or by risking the safety of the scouts, there was no delay in dealing with them all.
“It wasn’t just a normal mission.” I sighed. I was delaying the inevitable, but I couldn’t help it. His reaction to the tale I was about to tell probably wouldn’t be much different to my own. “It was . . . a changeling.”
“Holy shit!”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“I can see what’s got you rattled then.”
“Yeah.”
“So did you actually . . .?” He trailed off without finishing the sentence. He didn’t need to finish it for me to get his meaning though.
I shook my head. “I couldn’t enter the house. I don’t care if that makes me a pussy or whatever. I just couldn’t. All I could think of was Evie and our baby, and I couldn’t even make it past the fucking threshold.”
He closed the distance between us, scooped up my drink, and pressed it into my hand. “Drink that, it’ll make you feel better.”
I didn’t argue, only swallowed a large gulp of the drink.
“You think I’m weak, don’t you?” I asked, as I swirled the Scotch in my glass.
He shrugged. “Like you’d give a shit if I did. What’s really bugging you?”
I huffed out a breath. Of course he was right. There had been many times in my life where I’d known he thought I was weak and I hadn’t cared. I couldn’t voice the concern that bothered me the most though.
“Come on, bro. It’s just me. Just us. You know I’m not one for chick-flick moments, but something is wigging you out, otherwise you’d be back with your girl. If it’s not cold feet about the wedding, what the hell is it, man?”
I set my jaw as the concern that had been mounting greater with every second since the first moment Aiden had thrust the dying fledgling into my arms grew to monumental proportions. It filled my chest and sank my stomach like lead. There was no part of me that didn’t feel the weight of expectations and the certainty of failure. “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?”
Living with Embers: (Son of Rain #4) Page 5