Lynnie started walking again almost the instant we had landed. Even as my gaze explored the forest-filled room, I fell into step beside her, letting her lead me where we needed to be.
“It’s nice having you back,” she whispered to me as we walked.
I dropped my gaze to the ground and nodded rather than answer her. By the time we’d left the forest, we were in the middle of a thriving metropolis. Murmurs of noise echoed in the back of my mind, dancing around the edges as if I should have heard more but something was blocking it out.
Letting Lynnie guide me with the arm around my waist, I found myself in a place obviously meant for healing. There were beds and a number of green-winged fae walking through the place. I wanted to ask about the colors, and about the lights, but I still didn’t want to draw extra attention to myself. Observe and judge for myself, that’s what I needed to do.
I helped Lynnie onto a bed as Aiden and Mackenzie laid the twins into a basket. Aiden then took a moment to check on Lynnie before his focus fell to me. His eyes narrowed and his lips pursed.
“Follow me,” Aiden said to me.
“No, let him stay here. With me,” Lynnie said.
I was a little confused why she was so determined to keep me at her side, but I added it to the little list of information I was compiling in my head. I would work out what was happening, and what was true, or I would die trying.
“Lynnie, he attacked our court. That is a hostile action. Because of that, I cannot in good conscience leave him here unguarded with you and your fledg—children.”
“He won’t hurt me, will you?” Her gaze turned to me and implored me to agree.
Even without her puppy-dog eyes, I would’ve agreed because I didn’t want to hurt anyone else until I knew exactly what was happening. If I was honest with myself, the role of helping her felt cleaner on me than the role of hunting her ever had. I was disturbed by how much cleaner, and the part still loyal to Dad asked the question of whether it could be a supernatural influence.
“He is a stranger in our court,” Aiden added, clearly not ready to release me from his suspicion, “and I cannot allow him to roam freely.”
“Then don’t leave me free.” I held out my wrists. I was willing to comply and offer them reasons to trust me until I could figure everything out. If I did that and I realized they were a threat, bound wrists wouldn’t slow me considerably. Besides, I was so deep in a labyrinthine structure that having my hands tied wouldn’t be my greatest concern. I didn’t think they were a threat though. In fact, I was starting to get the feeling I was missing some huge pieces out of the puzzle. I just wished I knew what the hell they were.
“Suits me.” Aiden pulled a piece of rope seemingly from thin air and wrapped it around my wrists, securing it tightly. Unlike the last time I’d had my wrists tied, he wasn’t gentle. His eyes flashed with menace as he glared at me the whole time. He didn’t leave them loose like Lynnie had. There was definitely going to be trouble where he was concerned.
“Well, if that is sorted . . .” Mackenzie’s gaze traveled between Aiden and me in a clear challenge to contradict her.
“I have to go check on a contingent of good fae who were injured today and report back to the queen,” Aiden said. He tied the end of the rope, securing my wrists to a structure that supported the sink and a counter covered in amulets and odd ingredients. “He is not to be moved or released until I give the say so.”
Lynnie looked like she was going to say something.
“Or he comes with me and will be forced to face the queen and explain what he attempted to do to her son and grandchildren.”
She paled and nodded.
After one more deadly glare in my direction, he left.
“I’ll get Willow to check over your fledglings while I check you over,” Mackenzie said to Lynnie.
“No. I want you to do their check-up. Please?”
“Willow is as skilled—”
“Please?” Lynnie gave Mackenzie a winning smile. “I trust you more than anyone else in the court.”
Mackenzie gave a nod and then called the other fae, Willow, to check over Lynnie’s injuries. Each one was washed with the same water that had been placed on Ava’s lips before our trip through the circle. The water shimmered and glowed faintly. Rainbows of colors, barely visible, danced just beneath the surface.
After Lynnie had been washed off, the injuries I’d caused were all coated with herbs and dressed. Then Willow started to check the phoenix more intimately and I dropped my head to afford the pair some privacy.
It wasn’t long before Willow was satisfied with Lynnie’s health and helped her into a shower. I turned my attention instead to the fae who was attending to the twins. My twins.
Fatherhood was still a mantle that felt strange around my body. What could have transpired between Lynnie and me to have resulted in that?
Other questions followed. Why did Mackenzie look so similar to the photos of my sister? Had I actually attacked the queen’s family like Aiden had indicated?
When Willow helped Lynnie back to the bed, my gaze followed the pair. Lynnie caught my eye and gave me a shy smile. At the sight, my heart beat a little faster and my breath caught in my throat.
It was easy to see why Dad had said she was a seductress, everything about her called me to her, but I couldn’t believe it was an intentional thing on her part. It certainly didn’t seem malicious, even if it was. She hadn’t ordered me to do anything or forced me into a situation I wasn’t comfortable with. Yet.
Almost as soon as Lynnie was settled, Mackenzie brought the babies over to her side one by one. They had a muttered conversation and as they chatted, Lynnie’s gaze flittered back to mine over and over. Each time, I was helpless to do anything but give her a reassuring smile.
Before long, Lynnie started to feed her babies. At the sight, I dropped my gaze again, even though all I wanted to do was stare at the wondrous image. There had been nothing I could recall seeing that was more beautiful than the image of her feeding the twins.
Aiden came back into the room and started a whispered conversation with Lynnie. It was like I was being deliberately excluded from all the discussions. The reason for that became clear when Lynnie crossed her arms, narrowed her eyes, and snapped at Aiden. “Well, I believe he’s back and that’s good enough for me. It should be good enough for you too.”
As if her exclamation was enough to break the hush in their conversation, Aiden’s next statement was loud enough for me to hear. “You have to consider the option that your desperation for it to be true is the driving force behind that belief.”
“That could be the case, but even if his memories haven’t completely returned, something in him changed. Between the first moment he attacked the house and now, he’s changed. He isn’t the same man who attacked the house; he’s the man I love.”
I knew I should interject, to tell her the truth, but before I could, Aiden spoke again.
“You are willing to stake your life on this belief? Are you willing to stake the lives of your children as well?”
“Yes, I am. He won’t hurt any of us.”
She’d said the words before I could argue the reasons she shouldn’t. Whatever happened, she’d tied our fates together with her words.
“Then be it on your head. My decision is that he will be remanded into your care and left under house arrest until he can be assessed by a Tribunal.”
“What will Fiona say about that?”
“Fiona has made me responsible for overseeing this particular case for the moment. She is worried that her familiarity with the offender might cloud her judgment.”
The statement seemed to surprise Lynnie. “And your familiarity?”
“What familiarity?” Aiden sent a glare at me. He raised his finger in my direction as he turned back to her to continue. “That man is not the cousin I knew, nor the friend that I admired..”
What the hell was he talking about? I wasn’t a cousin of his. Nor would I
have been friends with a fae. I couldn’t have been, could I?
Then again, I had apparently been involved with a phoenix, who knew what was possible.
“He is a stranger in our court. A stranger who has attacked our family and should be punished for his deeds, that is all. If it were up to me alone, he would have nothing more to look forward to than the rest of his life in nothingness of the void.”
“Then I’m glad it’s not up to you alone,” Lynnie shouted. “Because you’re wrong. His memories have returned and we’ll prove it to you.”
“Nevertheless, he is to remain in your private room until such a time as we can ascertain the facts.”
“Fine,” Lynnie snarled.
“Fine,” Aiden mimicked her tone. “If he leaves the room, his guilt will be instantly assumed and he will face the relevant punishment. One year in the void for every fae attacked. In this instance, I am willing to extend the definition of fae to include Ethan and each of your offspring.”
As if his words were a reminder of something, Lynnie’s gaze swung straight to Mackenzie. “Are the children going to be okay to stay at the court?”
I stood a little straighter and listened a little harder. Despite the circumstances of the way I’d found out about the kids that were apparently mine, I wanted to know that they’d be okay. Whatever else was going on, they were innocent. It was impossible for young minds to have been corrupted already. Although I’d hoped the phoenix would be okay, I couldn’t care about her the way I did the babies. I genuinely wanted to know whether they’d be okay.
Thankfully, Mackenzie’s answer was loud enough that I could hear it. “Your son will probably flourish in the court. His aura grows stronger by the minute.”
My gaze fell to where he rested in Lynnie’s arms. The rainbow colors around his body had grown brighter and brighter. The sight and her words twisted my stomach for their implications—not for him but for what Dad had told me. Had he lied or had he been mistaken about what the lights and the colors meant? Had he sent me after Lynnie because of a misunderstanding? Had I attacked a woman who had since stood up for me to her friends without reason?
My gut twisted again, tightening around a knot in my stomach that warned me against making any rash decisions. I needed to talk to Dad and straighten some shit out. Kieran too—he’d claimed I loved the phoenix. Was it possible he was right? Did he know me well before . . .
I needed to figure out a way to talk to him.
“What about Ava?” Lynnie asked.
“She is a young, growing phoenix. We’ve never had one in the court, so I can’t say for certain whether she will thrive or . . .”
I swallowed hard as I considered the possible end to her trailed off sentence.
“We’ll have to monitor her regularly, and if anything is wrong, we’ll have to ensure she returns to the mortal realm quickly. And of course in the meantime, she’ll need to have a few additional drops of enchanted water with each feed to allow her to remain firmly on the ethereal plane.”
Lynnie nodded, and as if the events of the day had only just caught up with her, exhaustion rested heavy on her brow. “Okay. Well, if we’re all in agreement, can you please untie my husband’s hands?”
With some reluctance, Aiden made his way in front of me. He yanked a knife from his pocket and pointed it at my heart. “If you hurt her or those precious children, you will wish for death because it will be significantly less painful than the various punishments I can dream up for you.”
When he finished his sentence, he sliced through the ropes, not taking any care to ensure he didn’t slice through my skin at the same time. Whatever I thought of the phoenix and her children, this arrogant asshole needed a lesson in manners. I clenched my teeth and rubbed life back into my wrists as I said, “Noted.”
Even though I just wanted to leave the room, I waited while Lynnie and Aiden discussed something to do with another guest at the court. As they did, Willow brought my son to me and placed him in my hold. I stared down at him. My mouth went dry and my heart pitter-pattered against my chest. Whatever happened, he would be safe. If necessary, I would burn down everything on the planet to ensure it.
When we made to leave the room, Lynnie had another whispered conversation with Aiden, and then Willow. Whatever Willow had told her was enough to make her skin flush with heat. As it did, the faded flames around her body shifted patterns. Running the day back over in my mind, I realized it wasn’t the first time they had changed. Earlier, when I’d been chasing her through her house, the flames had been coiled tight. When she’d fed her babies, her aura was loose and relaxed. It was as if she had a temperament barometer built in. That could come in handy as I tried to sort lie from truth.
When we were free of the room and away from other people, I felt I had to say something. “Thank you for standing up for me in there.”
“That’s what you do for the person you love.” She gave a small chuckle and took my hand as if it was no big deal.
The weight of our son in my arms grew heavier at the look she gave me. Guilt blossomed into an anchor around my heart, dragging it all the way down to my feet. It was clear her forgiveness and the reason she had stood up for me was something to do with the fact she thought I was “back.” I assumed that meant she thought my memories had returned, and that they would somehow make me enamored of her again. If that was the only thing keeping me safe in the court, I was happy to let her continue to work under that assumption for the moment.
Once more, she led me through the hallways of the court, sure of her destination. There was one point where she released the hold she had on my hand and left me to find my own way. We came to a “T” junction and I panicked for a moment before just picking a direction. Lynnie stopped me almost instantly.
“It’s this way,” she said.
I glanced down the corridor she pointed to as if it struck something inside of me. “That’s right.”
“I know we’ve been gone from the court for a few months, but you haven’t forgotten the way to our room so quickly, have you?”
It was another little comment that made me suspect there was something bigger going on. Had we lived in this place together? Why had we moved out? How long had she known me? How long had she loved me?
How long had I loved her?
“I guess some things are still a little muddled,” I said, giving her a smile I hoped would put her mind at ease.
After pausing for a moment, complete with a dip in her brows, she made an excuse for my mistake and led me in the right direction.
It was impossible to ignore the screaming in my head that she would work out I was lying to her before too long. We hadn’t been alone for ten minutes, and I’d already slipped. What would happen if she tried to embrace me? Kiss me? Considering we were apparently in love, those possibilities weren’t out of the question.
The worst part was, some small piece of me wanted them to happen. Just to see. Just to taste. I didn’t love her—that was out of the question—but I was fascinated by her and confused by Dad’s possible reasons for lying.
As soon as I was in the room she’d pointed out, I set the baby in my arms down into the crib. He was a reminder of my lies and of my inevitable betrayal of the phoenix. She trusted me, had stood up to those closest to her on my behalf, and I repaid her by continuing to perpetuate the misunderstanding for my own benefit.
Once I was free of the weight in my arms, but not the one in my chest, I glanced around the space. Littered all around the room was evidence of our relationship to each other. Above the crib was a mural of words that talked about a sunbird and the phoenix.
Lynnie trailed behind me while I explored the room.
Near the large bed was a side table that held three photos. One of the phoenix and another man. The second had the same man as the first—although he looked slightly older—and a child version of the phoenix, leading me to think the first photo might have been a previous incarnation and not Lynnie. The final photo was L
ynnie in a wedding dress and me in a suit. Her baby bump was starting to swell beneath the dress, but wasn’t too pronounced.
On one of the other walls was a giant print of the two of us. It was impossible to fake what I could see in the image. My hands curled at my side as I examined her face and eyes in the photo in detail. My gaze could linger on the portrait longer than they could on her.
Each time I risked a glance in her direction, her eyes would lift to meet mine and I would feel the weight of the lies between us. Lies of omission, but ones that would ruin things regardless.
Considering the photos in the room, it was undeniable that we’d meant something to one another. It didn’t seem possible to replicate something that passionate, that overwhelming, with a spell. There was something in both of our eyes as we stared at each other that was so intense it actually hurt my chest to look at it.
While I stared at the image in front of me, an unfamiliar ache echoed from my heart and raced across my skin. It made my decision easy. I couldn’t keep lying to her. Clearly she’d once meant something to me, and I couldn’t betray my past self by continuing to allow her to believe I remembered it all.
Despite my newfound resolve, I lacked the courage to look at her as I said the words. Instead, I met her eye in the canvas print. “I have a confession to make.”
I stopped and swallowed hard. My voice was barely more than a whisper. If she was dangerous like Dad claimed, I was about to make the biggest mistake and could have her raining terror down on me.
There was silence from behind me.
“I don’t actually remember you,” I said, before waiting for the executioner’s ax to fall. “I don’t remember any of this.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“WHAT DO YOU mean you don’t remember?” Lynnie’s voice was sharp. I had to face her, or it would only make things worse.
Spinning to meet her eye, I continued, “I don’t remember the life these pictures show. I never have.”
“Why would you let me think you had?” The heartbreak and betrayal that etched into every feature as her eyes roamed my face proved I was right in ending the charade. I couldn’t even imagine how much worse it might have been if it’d come out after she tried to kiss me. She held our daughter in her arms, lifting her higher, almost as if she was using a shield between us.
Living with Embers: (Son of Rain #4) Page 16