by Parker, Ali
“I bet things will settle down soon. All you can do is be there. Pull them back when they get close to the edge and try to steer them down the right path. It’s a fine line to be right beside and just behind them. They have to spread their wings in order to learn who they are, but it can get tricky.”
I sighed, thinking about Olin’s need to find out who he was. “I wish there was a way to know for sure. I keep thinking back to my childhood and those little moments that seemed insignificant to myself and my parents, but ultimately helped shape who I am. I wonder what moments Olin will have. What things am I doing that will ultimately shape who he is?”
Alan laughed. “That’s deep, real deep. I think psychology is definitely in your future.”
“No way. I don’t want to fix anyone; I just want to make sure I’m not breaking my own kid.”
“You won’t know until later,” he advised. “If you did know, that would steal away some of the excitement. Half the thrill of life is the unknown.”
“Speak for yourself. I would really like to know what the hell is in my future.”
“I predict you’ll find love again and that person will help complete you. You’ll be confident in your parenting and things will work out for the best.”
I chuckled. “You sound pretty confident in that. Do you have a crystal ball hiding in your pocket?”
“Nope, but I’ve been in a dark place before. You’re a good-looking dude. You’ve got that charisma thing the ladies love. You’ll be back in the saddle again in no time.”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t want that. I’m not ready to be hopping in any saddles. I’m just looking to be a good father to my son. I’m a little late to the party, but I’m going to give it my all.”
“You’ll find love again or it will find you,” he said with confidence.
“It’ll have to wait.”
He checked his watch. “We should probably head to class. Our pretty professor has a thing for promptness.”
I laughed. “I got that same impression. I don’t want to get put on the spot again.”
“You’re lucky she didn’t make you enact any parts.”
We both got up, tossing our cups into the trash and walking towards the building. Judging by some of the looks we got from other students and the way conversations stopped when we approached, they assumed we were professors. It was a little embarrassing to admit we were students. First-year students, at that.
I walked in behind Alan. Leila was talking with another student. She looked up, her eyes meeting mine. I offered her a friendly smile and took my usual seat next to Alan in the front row. I watched as our lovely professor greeted each student that walked in.
She was genuinely nice. I loved that she didn’t have that stuffy professor thing going on. She was friendly and always took a few minutes before every class to personally connect with at least one student.
With everyone in their seats, she turned to look at me. I was staring. I knew I was staring, and I couldn’t look away. Everything Alan had said was echoing through my mind. Could I find love again? I had to admit, the thought didn’t scare me as much as it did six months ago.
I hated to think I was leaving Carlie behind, but the logical part of me knew it was the natural progression of life. She wouldn’t expect me to be single for the rest of my days. I shook my head, physically trying to dislodge the thought from my mind.
There was no way in hell Olin would ever let me move on. He’d hate me. He’d reject any woman I tried to date. Leila was a nice lady. I wouldn’t wish my son’s wrath on anyone. I was struggling to deal with it, and he was my own kid. Leila was young. I couldn’t imagine she’d want to deal with a grumpy teenager.
It had been a nice thought, but it wasn’t meant to be. Not yet. I had a couple more years to devote to Olin before I could think about trying to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. I wasn’t sure I was up for all that dating stuff anyway. It felt like a lot of work. Carlie and I had been easy. We knew we were going to get married. It was just easy.
I doubted I would ever feel that way again.
Chapter 14
Leila
I flipped the page on my notes and saw I had covered all I needed to for the day. I was on a roll. Class was going to be over right on time. That was always the sign of a good day. I tended to get a little long-winded at times and ended up speed talking through the final minutes of my lecture.
“All right, that’s all I have today, but I do have one more tidbit of information to share,” I teased. “Wednesday will be your first test.”
There were groans. As expected. “You’ll all do fine. This is an easy one—assuming you’ve been paying attention.”
I watched as the smiles slipped away and the students filed out. Did they actually think they were going to sail through the entire class without a test? It was a class with credits. I looked up and saw Christopher waiting.
“Hey,” I greeted him. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to personally apologize for not being able to take you up on your offer to help me out, especially after I had asked for it.”
“It’s no problem, really.”
“I hope you didn’t clear your schedule for me,” he said.
I smiled. “My schedule did not suffer. My door, however, did.”
“Your door?”
She chuckled. “Sorry. I have a door that I’ve been trying to paint for a couple of years. It just doesn’t seem to be at the top of my priorities. I was going to do it Saturday but put it off.”
“I see. Well, if I’m the reason it got pushed to the bottom, I do apologize. I owe you a painted door.”
If he wasn’t careful, I was going to take him up on that offer. That damn door was going to haunt me. “Walk with me,” I said, grabbing my briefcase.
“Sure. Lunch?”
“My office.”
“Sure,” he said, falling into step beside me.
I led the way. “Did you have a nice weekend?” I asked.
“I did. Did a little fishing and finished unpacking.”
“Catch anything?”
He smirked. “Nope. But I rarely do.”
I had to laugh. “I guess it’s the idea of fishing that counts.”
“I suppose.”
“Did you still want to go over what you missed?” I asked him.
He grinned, his blue eyes dancing. “With a test coming up on Wednesday, I suppose I should.”
“I can’t do it today. I wish I could, but I have a meeting with the dean.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
I shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I’m not in trouble.”
“Good to know. I’d hate to be associating with the naughty professor.”
I burst into laughter. “I’m probably about the farthest thing from the naughty professor.”
He winked. “Too bad.”
He was flirting with me. I didn’t know what to think of it. I did know I liked it. I just didn’t know how to respond. Did I flirt back? Would I be risking my job if I did? Maybe I was reading into it. Maybe it was just his personality.
I ignored the flirting and reminded myself I was a professor. I didn’t flirt with students. I didn’t do anything that could put my job at risk. “I can do it tomorrow. Study,” I clarified. “Are you available then?”
He chuckled. “I have a pretty clear schedule. Retired. Single. Not a lot on my plate right now.”
Single. Was he giving me information? “How about the library? I’ve realized there is no reason we can’t meet there to discuss what you missed”
“That works for me. What time?”
“What about one?” I offered.
“I will be there,” he said.
“This is my office,” I said, stopping in front of the door with my name on a plaque on the front.
“All right, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said and turned to walk away.
I watched his long legs eat up the hallway. I had no business wa
tching the man the way I was. But damn, I couldn’t look away. He turned around, catching me watching him. I stared back at him, his blue eyes holding mine for a half-second before he smiled and continued on his way.
I walked into my office and let out a long sigh. I didn’t know why the dean wanted to talk to me. Truthfully, I was a little nervous. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but there was always that self-doubt. I was one of the newest professors on campus. My course wasn’t exactly the most needed. I was expendable. At least, that’s how I felt. I felt like I could lose my job at any minute.
I had a backup plan. I could move to a history professor position if needed, but I didn’t feel nearly as passionate about Greek history. I would make it work. I pushed the thoughts from my mind. I couldn’t let my doubt sabotage me. Old habits were hard to break.
“Knock, knock,” Dean Johnson’s voice filled the room.
I put on a bright smile and turned to greet him. “Hi, come in,” I said.
“Thank you. I like what you’ve done with the place.”
I glanced around, taking in the few potted plants that all fought for sunlight from the single window. I had lots of Greek artwork and plenty of busts of my precious gods and goddesses. “Thank you. Did you want to talk here, or would you like to go to your office?”
“Here’s fine.”
“Have a seat,” I gestured to the pretty plum-colored chair I had brought in.
“Thank you.”
I took my seat, feeling a little weird that we were on the wrong sides of the desk. I was the one who sat on the other side. He was an average man. Nothing really stuck out about him. I guessed him to be in his early sixties and clearly the kind of man that enjoyed a bottle of shampoo that washed away the gray. I casually looked to his left hand. There wasn’t a ring. I knew he had kids, grandkids as well. A divorced man trying to disguise his age.
I thought about Christopher. He was aging gracefully. I liked the mature look of the salt and pepper in his hair and beard. It was very attractive and gave him a distinguished look. Dean Johnson could learn a little something from Christopher.
“What brings you by?” I asked casually. “You sounded like it was urgent when I spoke with you this morning.”
He sighed. “Sometimes my job can be very difficult.”
My stomach turned. He was going to fire me. I could see it on his face. “I’m sorry to hear that,” I managed to get out the words despite my tongue trying to embed itself on the roof of my mouth.
“It’s part of the job.”
“What’s going on Dean Johnson?” I asked, not interested in beating around the bush. If he was going to fire me, I wanted it over with. I was already writing my resume in my head.
“We’ve got a situation. I was informed last week that one of our esteemed professors has been involved in a sexual relationship with a student.”
My mouth fell open. “What?”
He nodded, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “Yes. It’s not something I ever want to deal with. Our school has some very clear policies about this. It is never okay to sleep with a student.”
“I understand,” I said, still not sure why he was telling me.
“I have been running an investigation and the things I have uncovered are not only disturbing, but disappointing. I just don’t understand what is happening these days. Since when do professors sleep with students?”
I frowned. “Since forever?” I said, dumbfounded he could be that naïve.
He waved a hand. “I don’t mean it like that. I’m not quite so old that I don’t remember my own time in school. I’m saying, when did it start happening here? I run a respectable school. I personally vet every professor. This makes me look bad.”
Was he actually looking to me to stroke his ego? I quickly did an evaluation of the pros and cons.
I liked my job.
“No, you don’t look bad. I haven’t heard anything about it, so you’ve obviously done a good job containing it.”
He perked up a bit, running his hand down his tie. “Thank you. I pride myself on running a tight ship. I’m personally talking to each and every professor this week. I want to impress upon everyone the importance of maintaining a professional relationship with our students. I know it can be hard. I know the current style of dress for young women can be rather risqué, but it is up to us to try and guide them. We can only guide them if we maintain a professional relationship with them.”
I nodded. “I agree.”
“I know I don’t have to worry about you, but I can’t play favorites,” he said.
I leaned back, wondering why he didn’t think he had to worry about me. I wasn’t sure if it was an insult or a compliment. “Well, thank you, I think.”
He chuckled. “I know you love your job. You would never do anything so untoward.”
“Oh. No. I know the rules.”
“Thank you. I appreciate being able to count on you.”
“Is this something you’re worried about?” I asked, realizing I had just assumed it was a casual sexual encounter.
He nervously rubbed his forehead again. “The young woman has made some claims against the professor. I don’t believe the university will be held liable, but it is certainly a mess.”
“Oh goodness, that doesn’t sound good at all.”
He looked at me for a second. “It is so much worse,” he breathed as if he had been holding it in forever. “The professor is married. The student, well, she thought they were going to be together. When she found out he had no intention of leaving his wife, she got angry. She filed the claim and things got ugly. We’ve managed to keep it under wraps, and after some discussion, the young woman has chosen to drop his class.”
I frowned. “She made that decision, or she was encouraged to make that decision?”
“She made that choice. It’s an unfortunate situation, but both parties are taking responsibility and moving forward.”
I smiled. “Good to know.”
“Anyway, I just wanted to talk with you, reiterate the rules,” he said.
I nodded. “Thank you. I assure you, there is nothing to worry about.”
“Good to know. Keep up the good work.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, getting to my feet.
I walked him to the door and closed it behind him. I took a deep breath, shaking my head. I had a few ideas about who the naughty professor was but couldn’t say for sure. I knew it happened a lot more often than the dean thought. The other faculty knew how to practice discretion.
I had a feeling the woman who had reported the situation wasn’t going to just go away. There was a reason there was a saying about a woman scorned. The professor who had tangled with her would likely be losing his job—assuming he didn’t have tenure. The university was likely going to be doing some cleanup work for a while on the situation.
“Naughty, naughty,” I whispered, moving to take my seat at my desk.
I thought about Christopher and the near miss. I was so glad he had been busy on Saturday. My conversation with the dean could have gone very differently if someone would have seen us together. I was going to have to be more careful. I couldn’t be staring at his ass or having little fantasies about him.
He was off-limits. No touching. No flirting. No more lunches in the cafeteria. Everyone was going to be looking for someone else to point a finger at to deflect attention from their own misdeeds. I was not looking forward to the next few weeks in the faculty lounge. There were going to be a lot of stares and whispers. Everyone was going to be wondering who it was.
I felt confident no one would be pointing fingers at me and I was going to make damn sure they didn’t start now. I was probably getting all worked up for nothing. Christopher was a silver fox. He probably had a long list of women wanting in his bed. I doubted I was quite his type. He looked like one of those guys that went after the slim and trim models that were half his age.
Then again, I doubted he would find women like that truly inte
resting. Except in bed.
Chapter 15
Christopher
I was a little embarrassed to admit I had to ask directions to the library. Twice. I wasn’t the library type. Never had been. Even when I was in school, I hadn’t used the library. It was so quiet. It creeped me out a little. I kind of liked chaos.
I walked into the library, finding it nearly empty. I reminded myself that most students were at home enjoying their winter break. I scanned the many empty tables and wondered if there was somewhere specific I was supposed to be meeting Leila. I was a few minutes early, I reminded myself.
“Christopher,” I heard my name and spun around.
“Hi,” I whispered.
She laughed softly. “I don’t think you have to whisper.”
There was a whispered shushing noise. I turned to see a couple of what could only be called geeks, sitting at a table with a stack of thick books. I was going to make the assumption they were some kind of science majors.
“Sorry,” I whispered, earning more scowls.
“Over here,” Leila said gesturing with her head.
I followed her down a row and to the opposite side of the library that was completely empty. “It’s empty.”
“This is the literature section. No one comes over here. Not since the internet was invented, but that’s not where I wanted to take you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“There is an entire section back here that collects dust. Libraries are a dying breed in today’s world of technology but back here in the physics section, it died a long time ago. I don’t think current students even know it exists.”
I followed her around a corner, going up a small ramp. It felt like we were going into a secret room. I could smell the must from the old books. The carpet was actually a different color from lack of use. “Wow,” I said, winding around the rows until we were at what I assumed was the top attic area of the library.
She giggled softly, holding her arms out as she spun around. “I feel like this is my own secret room. I found it back when I was a student here. I swear nothing has changed. The books are in the exact same spots. It’s a great place to study and not be disturbed.”