by Parker, Ali
I checked my hair in the mirror, only then realizing I had dressed in all black without even realizing it. The color suited my mood. I was mourning the loss of a friendship, my education opportunities, and a woman I had come to care a great deal about.
I drove to school, wondering if I would be removed from campus by security. I would put up a fight. The dean had given me some time to mull over my decision. I would remind him of that if it came to it. No one stopped me as I walked across campus. I didn’t notice anyone pointing their fingers and laughing either. I hoped that meant the video had not been released to the masses like Alan had warned me about.
I could have never guessed he was talking about me when he’d mentioned the video. I was a little embarrassed by my involvement. I knew there was truly no place that was private in the technological world we lived in. There were cameras everywhere. I should have been more careful.
It was done now. I couldn’t take it back, and quite honestly, I wouldn’t want to take it back. It had been the first of many wonderful experiences with Leila. It wasn’t the outcome I would have liked, but it wasn’t the end of the world, I reminded myself.
I walked down the hall towards her classroom, nerves bouncing around in my belly. Part of me wondered if she had been fired. Would she even be in her class? I would feel like total shit if she’d lost her job as well. I would have been pissed at her for no reason and abandoned her at a time when she would have needed me.
I pulled open the door to her class, an excuse ready to go if it wasn’t her teaching. There was a flood of relief quickly followed by a rush of anger when I saw her standing in front of the class, doing her thing like nothing had happened.
Her eyes met mine, going wide before she turned to face the class. “All right guys, that’s going to be it for today. Class is over ten minutes early. Please read the next assignment. Don’t show up unprepared.”
I leaned against the wall as the students filed out of the classroom. When the last student had left, I walked inside, staying close to the door. She stayed at her desk. Clearly, she didn’t want to be near me. I wondered if we were being watched.
“We need to talk,” I said, my voice gruff.
She nodded. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Do you want to talk here?” I asked, ignoring her question.
“No,” she quickly answered. “Off campus.”
I wasn’t surprised. She wouldn’t want to be seen with me. It made perfect sense and further cemented my belief she had given up my name. “Where?”
“There’s a bookstore a couple of blocks down,” she said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that like revisiting the scene of the crime?”
She looked properly dismayed. “I’ll meet you over there.”
“Would you prefer to ride over with me?” I asked.
“No!” she said a little too quickly.
I smirked. “Didn’t think so. I’ll meet you there in ten minutes. Make sure no one follows you.” I added the last bit out of spite. I was angry and I wanted her to feel bad. It wasn’t right, but it was how I felt.
I left her classroom without saying another word. I headed for my truck, barely seeing the faces of the people I passed as I swiftly moved along. I was angry and hurt. Everything I had been feeling since yesterday was justified. I had hoped she would tell me it wasn’t her. I supposed I should be glad she didn’t deny what she had done. That would have only made the situation worse.
I drove to the bookstore she had mentioned. Instead of parking in the lot, I drove a little further and parked in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant. She wasn’t the only one with something to lose if we were caught fraternizing. Then again, I supposed I had already lost.
As I walked towards the bookstore, I saw her go inside. She looked around first, clearly worried she would be seen. Part of me felt it would be better to go to my house or somewhere a little further from campus, but this was her show. I was just along for the ride.
I walked into the bookstore, immediately assailed by the scent of flavored coffee. It was overpowering and smelled more like a Starbucks than a bookstore. I looked around, taking in the small seating areas arranged around the store, with bookshelves to provide a little privacy.
I spotted Leila towards the back of the store in the science fiction section. I supposed that was a small guarantee we would be left alone for at least a short time. She was sitting in a chair, her hands in her lap and looking worried as hell. Judging by her appearance, she hadn’t gotten much more sleep than I did.
“Hi,” she said, a small smile resting on her lips. “Sit, please.”
I sat down without saying a word. The tension between us was palpable. I could feel the guilt radiating off her. Her guilt only served to increase my hurt.
Chapter 63
Leila
He was angry. I could feel the anger radiating off him. He made no move to touch me. He barely even looked at me. It hurt to see him that way.
“How are you?” I asked finally.
“Fine. You?”
“Terrified,” I whispered.
“Of what? Your secret is safe.”
“What happened?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Why don’t you tell me? I saw you coming out of the dean’s office.”
“You did?” I scowled. “I didn’t see you.”
“I figured you were purposely ignoring me,” he said angrily. “Not wanting to sully your good name.”
“No!” I exclaimed. “I didn’t see you. I was a little distracted. I tried calling you over and over. Why aren’t you taking my calls?”
He blew out a breath. “Because I wasn’t sure what to say to you after what you did.”
“After what I did?” I questioned. “What did I do?”
“You told the dean who I was.”
My mouth dropped open. “I did no such thing! He asked me if I knew the man in the picture and I lied. I told him I didn’t know who you were.”
He scoffed. “How is it I got pulled out of class minutes after you were leaving the dean’s office? Isn’t that a little too coincidental?”
I shook my head. “No. I mean, yes, but it wasn’t me.”
“Look, I’m not even that mad that you told. I just wish it would have required you to think on it for at least a minute. You could have talked it over with me. Instead, you let me be blindsided. You threw me under the bus without thinking twice. I’m not sure I can be with someone who does that.”
I leaned back trying to take in all that he was saying. “I didn’t tell him,” I breathed. “I didn’t tell him your name. Did you tell him who I was?”
He frowned. “No. I would never do that.”
“Christopher, I didn’t tell him who you were.”
“How did he find out?”
I grimaced. “The image he showed me of your face was very clear. Another professor recognized you. You kind of stick out like a sore thumb on campus. It was only a matter of time before someone identified you. I know it’s only a matter of time before my name is out there. He’ll find out sooner or later.”
“You didn’t tell him?” he questioned.
I couldn’t believe he thought I would do that to him. I was kind of offended by it. “No. Christopher, I wouldn’t do that.”
“You were very concerned about your job. I assumed he gave you the same option he gave me. I didn’t really blame you for taking the offer, but I wanted you to at least consider my feelings.”
“I did!” I told him wanting to reach for him. His body language told me that wasn’t a good idea.
“Oh.”
“What do you mean offer?” I asked replaying his words in my head.
“He told me if I gave him your name and made a donation to the school, he would look the other way. If I don’t give him your name, I’m expelled, and he says he will make sure I’m never allowed to enroll at another college.”
“A donation?” I whispered, something that I had heard yesterday wa
s bouncing around in my head.
“Yes.”
“A bribe,” I said the word. It tasted bitter on my lips. “He is asking you to bribe him.”
He shrugged. “I don’t know if it’s a bribe.”
“Christopher, he didn’t make me that offer because he knows I don’t have any money.”
“I won’t pay him anything,” he said.
“But what about your education?” I asked.
He looked thoughtful. “My education isn’t really that important. It is more of a hobby. Your job is far more important. You love your job. I would never take that away from you.”
My heart was full and shattered at the same time. “I’m so sorry I got you into this mess. I should have known better. I shouldn’t have taken you up there and I certainly shouldn’t have let things get out of hand.”
“You weren’t up there alone,” he said with a smile. “I don’t regret it. I could never regret the moment that brought us together. I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“For being a dick.”
“You aren’t a dick,” I argued.
He shook his head. “I’ve been sitting at home stewing. I was sure you’d given me up. I didn’t blame you, but damn, I was hurt.”
I appreciated him being honest. “You didn’t know,” I told him. “You couldn’t have known. I called but I was afraid to say too much, and I didn’t dare leave a text message. I was probably being overly paranoid. I could have saved you a lot of worry and hurt if I would have tried harder.”
“It was a misunderstanding,” he said, leaning forward to take my hand.
I knew it was dangerous. We were flirting with another scandal. Not another scandal—an extension of the scandal we were already wrapped up in. I couldn’t lose him. I knew that for sure. I had been trying to tell myself I could move on and that I would be okay, but I wouldn’t. I needed him.
“What do we do now?” I breathed.
He leaned back in the chair, crossing one leg over his knee. His foot bounced as he rubbed his jaw. “I’ll drop out. He never has to know it was you.”
“But your education,” I protested.
“I was only taking classes to keep myself busy. I don’t really need that now. I have you—don’t I?”
I nodded. “You do but I can’t let you make a sacrifice like that. I understand you are seeking something. I don’t know what it is exactly, but you have to go on this journey. I don’t want you to resent me because I got in the way of what you want. What you need. There has to be another way.”
He slowly shook his head. “I don’t want you to lose your job—your career. You’ve worked so hard to get your dream job. I won’t let you give that up, not for me to chase something I don’t need.”
“You might not need it, but you want it,” I insisted.
“What do you have in mind?” he asked.
I wasn’t sure how much to tell him. Then I thought about what he’d just spent the last twenty-four hours thinking and feeling. “Someone mentioned the dean crossing some lines.”
“Crossing what kind of lines?”
“Lines that include what can only be equated to blackmail,” I told him, dropping my voice to keep from being overheard.
“You think he’s blackmailing me?” he whispered.
“Essentially, yes. Both of us really.”
“How is he blackmailing you?”
“He hasn’t necessarily done anything yet, but I’m sure he will once he knows I was your costar in that little film.”
“What do you think he’ll ask you for?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’ve thought back to my encounters with him over the years. He’s always been a tit for tat kind of guy. He would ask me for information and then reward me in some way. He’s never asked me for money or sexual favors, but it was implied that I wouldn’t have to worry about some of the cutbacks if I could help him identify wrongdoers.”
He was slowly nodding his head. “I get what you are saying, but I’m not sure we have any options here.”
I nibbled on my bottom lip, trying to figure out what to say or do next. “I need to make a call.”
“A call?”
“You know that guy that was in the mini-mester with you? The guy you sat next to.”
“Alan?” he asked with confusion.
“Yes, Alan. He approached me yesterday. I didn’t think much of it, but it’s making sense now.”
“What did he say?”
“He mentioned his wife was an attorney, not practicing anymore, but an attorney.”
He didn’t look sold. “You want to hire an attorney?” he asked incredulously. “The last thing I want to do is sue the school. I’m not interested in money.”
“I’m not suggesting we sue the school. I’m suggesting we consult his wife, get some free advice about what we can do to protect ourselves.”
He mulled it over. “Okay, but if we tell the wife, we have to tell Alan. Are you okay with that?”
I smiled. “I think Alan already has a pretty good idea about what has been going on.”
“But he’s going to know about the video. He’s going to know it was us in the library.”
I cringed. “I know, but if we don’t do anything, it’s going to get out there regardless. The cat is out of the bag. It’s embarrassing as hell, but it is what it is. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it.”
“We’re both lying in it,” he said with a laugh.
“I’m so sorry,” I told him again. “I feel so foolish for doing something so reckless. It was completely out of character for me. It figures the one time I step out of line, I get caught. I am not good at breaking the rules.”
“You need more practice,” he said with a grin.
“I’ll end up in prison, knowing my luck. I’m going to step outside and call him. Are you okay with him meeting us here?”
“Sure. I’ll order us some coffee. It doesn’t look like either of us got much sleep last night.”
I smiled. “No, I suppose not. I’ll be right back.”
I got up and walked outside. I was a little worried I was dragging another student into my messy business. I pulled up the number I had stored after my brief talk with Alan yesterday. I had never expected to actually use it. I was only humoring him yesterday when I had listened to his little spiel. He had insisted I take his number. I did it in order to get out of the conversation.
Turned out, I needed that number. “Alan, hi, this is Professor Bell, Leila,” I said, stammering over the words.
“Hello,” he greeted. “How are you?”
“As it turns out, not so great. Yesterday you mentioned your wife was a lawyer. I, we, uh, we were wondering if we could speak with her about our situation.”
“You and Christopher,” he stated.
“You know,” I said with a sigh.
He chuckled. “I’ve suspected. Despite what my children think, I’m not quite so dense.”
“We’re at the bookstore up the road from campus. Can we meet you today for lunch or maybe dinner?”
“How about I head over there right now. I just got out of class. I’ll get the details and pass it along to her.”
I hesitated, not sure I wanted to involve him, let alone confess my dirty deeds. “Okay, that works. We’ll be inside—the science fiction section.”
“Oh good, I’ll see if they have the Star Trek novel I’ve been looking for.”
I laughed. “See you soon, Alan. Thank you. And, um, I probably don’t have to say it, but your discretion would be appreciated.”
“Of course. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks.”
I ended the call and headed back inside. I was nervous and relieved and stressed all at the same time. The idea of quitting and running away from Texas was sounding more appealing by the minute. I had a feeling there was going to be a great deal of humiliation in my future.
Chapter 64
Christopher
Leila returned, taking her seat and the offered coffee. There was a weird awkwardness between us that I didn’t like. I realized the misunderstanding was on my end. She had no involvement in me being exposed. I had taken it out on her and it wasn’t right. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt. I jumped to some very wrong conclusions. It wasn’t at all fair to you.”
She smiled. “It’s okay. I’m sure it didn’t look good from your side of things. I thought for sure you told the dean who I was. I thought that was why you weren’t answering my calls.”
“I would never do that to you,” I told her. “Never.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you either. I love my job, but I do understand loyalty.”
I chuckled, shaking my head. “I guess we’ll need to work on our communication skills.”
“Definitely. I should have tried harder to talk to you and clear things up.”
“I promise to be more open-minded and not automatically assume the worst,” I promised.
“Me too.”
“I hate that there was a lot of hurt feelings for no reason. I never want to feel like that again.”
She nodded. “No kidding. I know I will be sleeping like a baby tonight. I tossed and turned most of the night.”
“Me too. Hell, I didn’t even want to get out of bed this morning. It was Olin who talked some sense into me.”
She raised her brows. “Really?”
I smiled, thinking about Olin’s maturity that morning. “Yes. I was sulking in bed. I didn’t want to get up. I wanted to wallow in my self-made misery. He was the one who told me to get my ass up and handle the situation like a grownup.”
“Wow, a little tough love from the teenager. I would say that’s a pretty good indicator of your great parenting.”
I wanted to believe that, but I knew I couldn’t take all the credit. “Thanks.”
“Hey, guys,” Alan said coming around the corner.
I got to my feet and shook his hand. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”
“Say, I noticed a couple of kids from the campus just a few rows over, why don’t we take this across the street to that McDonald’s?”