by Louise, Tia
I’m back to the bureau, pulling open the last drawer. He puts his palm on it and slams it shut. Jillian emits a squeal just before she hiccups and starts to cry. He leaves me and goes to lift her out of the crib, but I follow.
“Put her down.”
“I will not put her down.” Brown eyes flash at me. “You’re going to tell me what the hell this is about. What are you accusing me of doing?”
Jilly cries more, and I imagine it’s the first time she’s heard Roland raise his voice. Still, I’m not backing down.
“When we were in Seattle, when I met with Gavin. How did he know I had a baby? Only one person knew about her birth.” My eyes flashed, and I poke my finger in his chest. “You.”
“Did he say I told him?”
“No—”
“Then what the fuck, Lara? Are you kidding me?” Jilly’s cries grow louder, stronger, and he turns her so her little face is against his chest. He hugs her close and goes to the door, ducking as he leaves the room.
I stay behind a few moments, attempting to calm my emotions so I can calm my little girl. When I walk out, he’s swaying side to side, smoothing her back with his hand.
“Shh, princess. It’s okay.” His voice is soft, and he kisses her little head.
She’s still fretting, but she’s not screaming anymore.
“We went to a small, private hospital. I used an alias.” My voice has an edge, but I’m holding it steady. “No one knew she was born except Molly and you.”
“Then what did you do?” His voice matches mine, edgy but calm.
“What do you mean? We came back here and stayed with you. It all comes back to you.”
Jilly’s bottom lip quivers, and two tears hang in perfect little spheres on her bottom lashes. I reach for her, but he turns away, hugging her closer.
“What else did you do when you came here?” he asks.
My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
“Did you enter a convent?” Sarcasm.
“No, we—”
“You lived your life. You visited with Evie, you went out, you sang with me in the club… How do you think Mark found you?” His eyes flash, and he turns to me again.
Jilly scrubs her face against his shoulder and he inhales a few times, calming his voice. “Everybody saw you. Everybody knew you’d had a baby. Anyone could have told anyone, and it got back to him. How dare you accuse me?”
My throat is tight, and my heart is still thundering, but I can’t argue with him. The shock and fear of Gavin knowing everything about me is still so fresh, I’m not ready to let him off the hook so fast.
Still, he has a point. We didn’t go into hiding. We were out and about in the Quarter—where any number of Gavin’s old acquaintances might have seen us.
“Can I have her now?”
“No.” My jaw drops, but he continues. “All I’ve ever done is help and protect you, and since Jilly came, it’s been the same with her. You know where my loyalty lies.”
“Give her to me.”
The muscle in his jaw flexes, but he hands her over. I hug her close to me, and she puts her head on my shoulder. Two fingers are in her mouth, and she grips my hair in her little fist. Roland watches us, his expression stricken.
“Do you really think I’d do that?” His voice cracks, all anger gone. “I love you, Lara. I love Jilly. Soon you’ll be leaving, and I won’t see you… possibly ever again. Tell me you don’t believe I would hurt you.”
Swallowing the thickness in my throat, I hug my baby tighter before fixing my eyes on the floor. “So much has happened, I don’t know who to trust—”
“You know me.” He steps closer, so close Jilly’s back is against his chest. “You’ve known me all your life. I have always been there for you, through everything.” My own eyes heat, and I blink up to see the heartbreak in his. “Haven’t I?”
We stand here, and all the memories flash across my mind.
Being a teenager and being in love with him.
Him teaching me to kiss, encouraging me to sing.
His fury when I fell; his fury when I told him my bargain with Gavin.
Him slipping Rohypnol into the Sazerac to save me.
Him nursing me back to my feet after I was hurt.
Hiding me in his home and covering up my crime.
Finding Freddie to carry us away from this nightmare like a handsome prince in some fairytale.
Treating Jillian like she’s his own daughter…
A tear spills onto my cheek, and I shake my head. “I’m sorry, Roland. I don’t know what to say.”
His arms are around me at once, around both of us. He places his hand on Jilly’s back and turns me so we’re not squishing her. She doesn’t fuss. She’s so used to the two of us showering her with love and affection.
“You’ve been through so much, my love.” My head is against his chin, and he gives me one more squeeze before releasing me.
“I feel like I don’t know who to trust, I don’t know when it’s all going to end.”
“Mark is determined to end this, and if anyone can do it… Well, you can. I saw you do it with my own eyes. Gavin had better watch his step.”
He grins, but I don’t want to think about what I did. “I don’t even remember that night.”
“I do, and trust me. You are fierce. Wicked brave.”
Jilly’s head lifts and she looks at him, at me. Her blue eyes are so big, and I sniff before laughing. “She’s never seen us fight.”
“Give me my girl.” He holds out his hands, and she immediately leans into him.
I let her go, and he bounces her against his chest. “Mommy was a bit out of sorts, darling. You have to be patient with her. She hasn’t had it as easy as you.”
I roll my eyes, dropping onto the couch. “You spoil her so bad.”
“Back to what I was saying before all this recent unpleasantness.” He does a little wave as if to sweep it all away. “I’m going to talk to Bill tonight. As long as you’re here, I want to do another concert. The crowd loved it last time.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really feel like singing—”
“You do and you will. It’s the only time I get to play my old songs.” He carries Jilly to the kitchen. “We can do a mix of standards and Roland Desjardin originals. Do you know ‘Big Spender’? ‘The Man I Love’?”
Taking a deep breath, I exhale loudly. “Yes.”
Movement at the front door causes my eyes to flicker up. They key turns in the lock, and when it opens Mark is here. All my paranoia and anxiety melts away when our eyes meet.
He smiles, toeing off his boots. “How are my girls?”
I’m about to answer when my stomach growls, and I notice the large white bag in his hand emitting the most amazing aroma. “What did you bring us?”
“They’ve gone legit.” He holds up the bag with a teasing frown. “I only hope it’s still as good.”
“Petit Monjou is your secret poboy kitchen? They’re the best!”
Dropping onto the couch beside me, he leans forward to kiss my lips before pulling a bundle wrapped in white paper from the bag.
“The line was out the door.”
“It’s always like that. Roland took us there when we first got back. I wish I’d known…”
He unrolls the foot-long sandwich, and I have to stop speaking. My mouth is literally watering. “No more Everything poboy. Now they call it the Three-fer.”
“I don’t care what they call it. Give me some.”
He laughs, passing half to me, and I take an enormous bite, my eyes rolling with delight as the tangy rémoulade fills my mouth along with perfectly fried seafood.
Mark lets out a little groan as well. “Still the best,” he manages around his bite.
I’m grinning as we devour our dinner in record time. The day we sat on the river chatting and getting to know each other is on my mind. We were so young, falling in love on the brink of disaster.
Leaning my head on my hand, I
trace my finger over his shoulder, my belly happily full. “How did it go with Terrence?”
He nods. “He’s going to see if Eddie knows anything.” I can’t help a shudder at that name. His eyebrows lower. “Yeah, I don’t like that guy either.”
“Good. You’re here.” Roland enters the living room with Jilly and a bottle. “I have to go, but it’s time for her dinner. She’ll need a bath, and then this little princess is ready for bed.”
“I actually remember how to take care of my child.” Impatience is in my tone.
“Yeah, but it helps me,” Mark jumps in, but I elbow his side.
“Don’t encourage him. He thinks he knows everything about babies.”
“I think he might,” Mark whispers close to my ear.
Roland only gives me a superior look. “Unpack her things. You’re not going anywhere.”
At that Mark pulls back, brows furrowed. I grip his forearm. “We had a fight. I was going to tell you—”
“Fight? What about?” His muscles relax.
“Lara was overly tired.” Roland hands me Jilly’s bottle, and I cradle her in my arms. “Now, I have to get to work. Practice those songs.”
Mark hops off the couch and holds out the white bag. “Hey, I got one for you.”
Roland stops at the door and glances at the offering. “It’s not often I say this…” He takes the bag. “I was wrong about you. You’re very good for Lara, even without money or connections.”
Mark exhales a laugh. “Thanks?”
Roland pats him on the arm and takes off. Mark locks the door behind him before turning to face me. I’ve got Jilly cradled in my arm, and her eyes are blinking slowly as she drinks her bottle.
“I never really know what to make of him,” Mark says, coming to sit beside me on the couch.
“He means well.” I lift my chin for another kiss.
Warm lips cover mine, and our tongues meet briefly. It’s just enough to send a tingle through my lower stomach. When he pulls back, our eyes lock, and my chest tightens. When this is over…
“Hey, can I give her the bottle?” He sits, and I look down.
Jilly’s just a little stowaway in the midst of all this turmoil. She’s so innocent, so trusting.
“Yes—of course!” I gently pull the bottle out of her mouth.
She immediately fusses, but I hand her to her daddy. Her head is so small cradled in the crook of his arm. I help him move her higher, then we position the bottle in her mouth again. She eagerly takes it, and her big blue eyes move around his face as she eats.
“She’s so beautiful,” he says, and the love expanding in my chest is so strong. It’s bigger than all my fears.
Resting my head on his shoulder, I touch her little arm. “She looks like you.”
“I think she looks like you.” He turns his smiling face and captures my lips again.
Just like that.
It’s so casual, so proprietary.
I love it.
“I love you,” I say softly, and he does it again.
“I love you.”
We’re quiet as our baby finishes her bottle. Once she’s done, I show him how to place her on his shoulder and burp her.
“Roland always says I do it wrong. I say I warm her up, and he just finishes her off.”
“I have no idea—”
He’s interrupted by a loud, sailor-burp out of our dainty little girl, and we both burst into laughter.
“I think you’re the king. She’s never burped that fast!”
He shrugs. “Beginner’s luck.”
“Come on.” I unfold my legs and stand. “You can help me bathe her.” His eyes are worried when they meet mine, but I smile. “It’s not hard. Come on.”
Roland and I have always bathed her in the kitchen sink. It’s fun and old school, and she can’t slip away so easily. I put a towel on the bottom and run a mini bath of warm water. Jilly is braced over my forearm, and she bends her knees quickly, bouncing up and down and splashing water all over both of us.
“I think she likes this,” he says, holding up a hand and laughing.
“She always makes the biggest mess.”
She laughs and coos, and I grip her slippery little body as I direct her daddy.
“She doesn’t get very dirty. Just try to clean all her crevices.”
“I feel like I’m invading her privacy.”
“She’s a baby, Mark.”
“Still.” He dabs the washcloth at her little butt barely making contact.
“Nevermind, she’ll be okay for tonight. Grab that towel.”
Jilly squeals and slaps the water. I lift her out and place her in the fluffy white towel her dad wraps around her little body. We carry her to our bedroom and dry her, put on her diaper. I smooth lavender lotion on her shoulders and legs then I zip her up in a long-sleeved onesie. Her legs kick and she waves her fists watching us.
“Ready to sleep little girl?” I say, picking her up and situating her on my shoulder.
We walk into the living room, and Mark sits on the couch. “Want to sit?”
“She goes to sleep quicker this way.” I hold her in my arms, swaying side to side.
He watches us smiling. “You should sing to her.”
My nose wrinkles, and I don’t know why I feel shy. “It’s been so long. I don’t know…”
“Roland wants you to practice. What did he say?”
“He said a couple of different things.”
“Pick one.” His voice is warm, and his blue eyes hold mine.
The lift of a song moves through me, and I close my eyes thinking of my favorite Gershwin tune. Closing my eyes, I slow my swaying as I hum the bridge of that old standard. It’s a wish about meeting the man I love… someday, maybe on a Tuesday…
Building a home…
Never roam…
The melody slips from my lips as easily as pulling on a silk dress. “And so all else above, I’m waiting for the man I love…”
When my eyes flutter open, Mark is watching me like he used to so long ago from the catwalk far above the stage floor. Butterflies take flight in my stomach, and I want to laugh and cry and sing and dance all at once. The cutest little snore comes from my shoulder, and I look down to see Jilly fast asleep on my arm.
My heart warms with all the love in this room. “I’ll put her in her crib,” I whisper. “Meet me in the bedroom?”
His low voice sets my body humming in all the right places. “I thought you’d never ask.”
11
At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can. –Frida Kahlo
Mark
Lara is on my lap riding, bucking her hips, and sending me to fucking heaven.
My cock is buried deep inside her, and I clutch her ass, lifting her and doing my best to hold out until she finishes.
The lines in her torso deepen as she moves. Her long, dark waves curl at the tips of her nipples, and I lean forward, capturing a tight peak between my lips and giving it a pull, a little bite.
“Oh!” she moans, and spasms break out around my dick.
“Fuck me,” I hiss, right on the edge of coming hard. “Come on, baby.”
Her hips move faster, and she leans forward, gripping the headboard behind me. Her beautiful breasts sway right at my lips, and I cover them with kisses.
She’s moaning, making those sexy little noises, and I slide my hand around to find her clit. The moment I touch it, her back arches, and she lets out the most beautiful cry. She comes hard and fast, and I let go, pulsing deep inside, riding that wave with her. God, it feels so good.
She falls forward onto my chest, and my arms go around her, holding her close. My eyes close, and we hold each other to the end, humming with afterglow, our bodies slick with sweat and perfectly spent. It’s the best workout ever.
Her body moves, and a happy sigh escapes on her exhale. It makes me smile, and as much as I hate it, I pull out and rotate us so she’s lying beside me in the bed. I
want to see her face.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” I say, smoothing dark hair off her cheek. “I’m taking you tomorrow to pick out a ring.”
Her hand is at her mouth, and she blinks those ocean blue eyes up at me. “Husband,” she says softly, reaching out to touch my face.
Damn, I never thought a word could fill my heart with so much joy. I capture her hand and pull it to my mouth, kissing her palm.
“Love, cherish, protect.” She blinks rapidly, and a beautiful smile spreads across her lips.
“In sickness and health, good times and bad.”
“After this, it’s nothing but good times.” She slides forward, pressing her cheek to my chest. I wrap my arms around her.
The light fades to black, but the sounds of the street keep going. Several hours pass, and I doze, waking when Roland arrives back at the house. My mind can’t stop running through the things Terrence said, Gavin said, my promise to Lara. I want all of this behind us before we take that next step.
Lara turns in her sleep, her breasts slowly rising and falling with her sleep. My beautiful wife…
The task ahead of me feels impossible, but it’s not the first time I’ve run into secrets, buried evidence, criminals who think they hold all the cards. If I can’t get that thumb drive from Landry, I can at least get my hands on the video evidence of why Lara did what she did—something I need to do no matter what.
Thumb drives can be lost. They can be bought, sold, copied…
Tomorrow I’ll return to the theater and dig through the wreckage. The structure is still in place. Gavin owns the land and the building, and it’s never been torn down. I can’t help wondering why—if there’s something still there, hidden in the rooms. Now that we’ve had our confrontation, I feel a greater sense of urgency. He’ll be expecting us to dig, and I won’t let him cover any more of his tracks. We only need one card to fall for the whole house to collapse.
I’m sure I’ll never sleep. My throat is tight, and I want to get started now. When I open my eyes again, light streams through the sheer curtains. I hear voices in the other room, and Lara’s not in the bed. She’s up with our daughter, feeding her a bottle on the couch. Jillian threads her chubby fingers in her mother’s hair, and I lean down to kiss my fiancée’s lips.