Me.
Eric
After sitting in the office for what feels like forever, we finally got in to see Daniels, both Kayden and me going into detail about everything we knew, making sure he understood that what happened in the hall wasn’t Amelia’s fault.
It was Tim’s.
After hearing our side of everything, he took off from the office and I can only think he left so quickly because he was going to find Tim and Amelia so that he could get their side of things before deciding what to do.
Explaining what I walked up into and why I chose to stop it was hard, but I felt a whole better once I admitted everything to him. Telling people that Amelia is just a friend was a lie and it was one I was tired of telling. Admitting that I wanted to stop a guy from hurting my girlfriend felt a whole lot better, not just physically but deep in my heart too.
I want the whole damn world to know that I’m with her, even if they don’t approve or think I’ve lost my mind, which after the talk with Daniels, I’m pretty sure he believes.
The fear that we had this morning, concerned about how it would appear, the two of us being together considering who the entire school believes her to be and what they know of me, it was stupid. I never should have said we needed to take things slow and keep things hidden in order to protect myself.
All hiding does is make everything worse.
I’m starting to think that if I had just spoken up when the bullying started when I got here, it never would have reached the point it did. When the guys chose me in order to get to Belle last fall, I should have stood up and told the truth about what happened instead of keeping it all inside and backing away from the only real friend that I had.
I made everything worse keeping it all bottled inside. My suicide attempt is solid proof of that. No one should ever reach the point that I did, the dark thoughts I was thinking and how eager I was to make them become reality. In my silence I had almost taken myself away from a mom that loves me, a little sister who pretty much thinks I’m the most awesome person on the planet and the girl that’s now sitting outside with her ex-boyfriend.
The beaten down and broken girl that should be in here with me instead.
“Where outside are they?”
“You know the picnic table about four feet away from our tree? That’s where Dillon said he was taking her anyway.”
Holding out his phone to me, I take it and see what it is he wants me to see. It’s just a text, but knowing the way I am, he’s giving me the proof I need so I can be sure he’s not keeping things from me.
Taking her out front to the smoking table. Let me know what Daniels says.
Needing to move from my spot, but knowing I’m gonna pay for it the minute I try, I slide up from the bench slowly, feeling the stabbing pain immediately, starting in my legs and straight up into my chest, where most of the damage Tim did is.
Moving slower than a turtle, I take each step gingerly until I’m standing by the window that I know will give me a full view of everything going on outside. It’s only when I lean down onto the windowsill and look out, scanning past the tree to the very table that Dillon is talking about that I see her, but not just her, Dillon too,
He’s standing in front of her, his shirt raised, his back to me and there’s something about the way he’s standing, his bare skin showing that instantly makes my head pound and my breathing erratic.
What the hell is he doing with his shirt half off?
“She’s safe with him, huh? Could’ve fooled me.” I snap angrily and it’s not long after that Kayden’s on his feet and standing beside me, now seeing exactly what I am.
“Don’t read anything into that. Dillon is in love with Cadence and we both know it.”
“Hey, since you dated Amy before him, maybe you can go out there and lift your shirt up in front of her. I’m sure Belle would love it.”
I expect him to get pissed at what I’m saying or maybe even see my point and back down, but he doesn’t do either. He laughs and it just makes the pounding in my head that much worse.
“Wow.”
“What?”
“You’re jealous as hell right now.”
“I am not.”
“Yeah, Eric you are. How badly do you wanna go out there and rip him apart right now?”
Damnit. He’s right. I do want to go out there and hurt him. After what just happened with Tim, the last thing I need is another guy trying to get with her when she doesn’t want it.
What if she does want it though?
Dillon can offer her a hell of a lot more than I can. He’s normal like she is. If she was with him again she wouldn’t have to worry about a guy that has sensory issues and who has problems going out in public. Dillon could give her everything I just can’t.
“Eric, I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong.”
“You’re a mind reader now?”
“Nope, but I’ve been there. You wanna know a secret?”
“Sure.”
“When I came back last fall and I saw you and Belle in the hall, she hugged you and smiled and I wanted to rip your heart out.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I have anger issues. If I didn’t want to kill you, it would be weird.”
“But me and Belle, we aren’t like that.”
“Yeah well neither are Amelia and Dillon. Truth is, I don’t think they ever were. They just went through the motions until you and Cadence came along.”
Looking back out the window, thinking about everything Kayden just told me, I look up just in time to see Dillon pull her into him and all of the blood in my body rushes to my head.
Kayden’s story was nice, but it was completely wrong. It’s obvious with what he just did, pulling her into him and wrapping her arms around him, that there’s a hell of a lot going on between the two of them after all and I’m not gonna wait around to find out what.
If Amelia wants to be with Dillon then I’m gonna go out there and make her tell me to my face instead of finding out about it this way. Standing here like a chump, it’s just going to make the cracks in my heart that much worse.
The way it felt seeing Tim kissing her in the hall, it’s even worse now.
I want answers.
Moving around Kayden, each step forward even worse than the one before it, I have to do everything in my power to push down the image of Dillon with his arms around my girlfriend. If I focus on it too much, let it be the only thing I see, I’m going to break before I get outside and after everything, breaking down isn’t an option.
I will not cry.
Amelia
The first thing I see when Dillon releases me from the hug is a person making their way from the front door of the school and straight for us.
It’s not exactly strange to see people coming and going at school, I mean it happens all the time, but this time, it’s not a teacher or some random kid, it’s someone I know. Someone I’ve been dying to see since the minute Dillon pulled me away from him.
Eric.
Moving forward, about to make a run for him even though my head is still fuzzy from the fall in the hall, Dillon reaches out to me and bringing his phone out in front of him, I see why he’s stopping me.
A text from Kayden, about the boy who with each passing second is getting closer and closer to us even though he’s not moving all that quick.
Eric saw you two. He’s jealous. LOL. Be nice.
I’m not exactly sure what he saw, whether it was us sharing our scars or the hug at the end but I hate that anything that I’ve done makes him feel jealous. He has nothing to worry about, what’s happening with Dillon and me as innocent as it gets.
Admitting how I feel about Eric, telling my ex of all people, it’s monumental for me. I don’t do things like that normally. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even tell Dillon all that often how I felt about him when we were together, that’s how awkward admitting feelings is for me. Keeping it a secret though, it’s just not an option.
He means somethi
ng to me, a whole lot of something and there’s no way I’m gonna let anyone believe otherwise. The time for treating him like a leper, ignoring his existence even though I can feel it everywhere I go, it’s over. I want people to know how he makes me feel.
How I feel like a better person just by knowing him.
“I gotta head this off.”
“Looks like you’re not the only one that likes him a lot.” Dillon nods and laughs. “He’s like a completely different guy.”
A completely different guy.
Is that true? Can it really be exactly the same for me as it is for him? Are we changing each other?
“I don’t want him to be completely different.”
“Yeah, I get that but if he wants to do it, you don’t get a say. Maybe this is how he needs to be and it’s got nothing to do with you.”
“You act like you’ve got experience.”
He laughs again before squeezing me gently on the shoulder. “You have no idea.”
With Eric about five feet away from us now, I know I’ve got to go now before he reaches us. If he’s as jealous as Kayden makes it out to be, then there’s no telling what he’ll say or do when he gets within a foot of Dillon. I need to make sure that doesn’t happen.
We’ve all had more than enough excitement for one day.
Plus, for the first time since this day started, I want to be alone with him again. It’s been way too long.
Walking toward the boy struggling slowly to make his way over here, I turn back slightly until I’m looking directly at Dillon.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime. Go, before he gets over here and rips my head off.”
Crossing the grass as quickly as I can, all the while pushing down the pounding that’s still going off like a hammer inside my head, I lessen the gap between us until we’re standing in front of each other, both of us still. After a few seconds of just standing in place, his arms move and before I know it, I’m throwing myself into them, the peace I feel the minute I make contact with him instantly putting me at ease.
“Are you okay?” I murmur against his chest and I feel his head move up and down on top of mine.
“I am now.” He whispers and even though I know it’s probably not entirely truthful, my heart steadies knowing that our connection, it’s not just one sided. He’s as calmed by us being together as I am.
“I was scared.”
“I know. I was scared too.”
Pulling myself backward, but not completely breaking the hold his arms have around me, I look up at him and see what Tim did to him. I know the real damage is under his shirt, the kicks to the stomach I saw him take probably leaving him even more scarred than his face, but the hurt still present anyway.
He’s going to have bruises on his face if the bright red areas on his cheeks and right above his eye mean anything and I hate it. Hate that this had to happen to him at all and that it’s all my fault.
Reaching my hand up, I run it along the side of his face and he shivers the minute my fingers make contact, but does nothing to pull away, telling me a whole lot more than anything he could say ever could. He’s not against the touch the way I thought he might be, he’s just affected by it.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yeah, but it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine, Eric. It never should have happened.”
“Amelia…”
“What?”
“Did you kiss him?”
“Tim?”
He nods slowly and I shake my head.
“No. I’m pretty sure it looked like it though.”
“What happened?”
I need to tell him this. I should have gotten away earlier and told him, prevented him getting involved somehow, especially knowing what I do about Tim and how strong he can be. The reason he’s such a good football player.
“I was sitting with him and the others and he was acting weird. I asked Char and Eve to give us some privacy. I thought that I could get him to spill what the hell was going on. He’s been acting weird for weeks. Hugging me, saying he missed me. Weird stuff ya know? When they took off, I got him to tell me the truth, but then things turned ugly.”
He winces and I move my body back into his, not sure if it’s what I’m telling him or what happened to him that’s causing it but wanting to do everything I can to take it away. Make him focus on something else.
“Ugly how?”
“I told him I needed to get out of there, I wasn’t feeling well. Eric, I felt sick to my stomach. I was gonna throw up. The whole thing it was wrong somehow and I just wanted to bolt. He wouldn’t let me. He stopped me, forced me to kiss him and that’s when things got worse.”
“I got involved.”
I shake my head. He needs to know that what he walked in on wasn’t that part, it was what happened after the fact. He needs to know about the flashback even though it’s going to rip me apart telling him.
He’s been so understanding hearing everything so far, but this, knowing that Tim and me, we’ve been together even though I didn’t remember it until now, there’s no way it won’t change things. This might be the one thing that finally does push him away.
“I had a flashback when he kissed me and when he moaned, I realized it wasn’t just my mind playing tricks on me. Eric,” I stop, the urge to back away and run stronger than it’s ever been. “Something happened with me and Tim when I was little.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, pulling back until his eyes fall to mine, confusion coating them.
“My dad used to go out of town on business a lot when I was a kid. Those were the best weekends ever. I got to spend time with my Mom, watch movies and feel normal for a change. I guess I could have used those weekends to tell my mom what was happening, but his threats, they always stopped me. Anyway, he came home early this one time and he didn’t come alone. He brought me a present. A person.”
“Uhh…”
“He brought Tim. He wanted us to have sex. He made Tim get in bed with me and do things to me. I tried to fight it, but just like always, I gave in. I didn’t realize it at the time because my dad called him Timothy and he looked a lot different than he does now, but when he kissed me in the hall, it triggered something.”
“You and Tim…how old were you?”
“Seven, maybe eight.”
“Amelia…”
He pulls back and I can feel my heart breaking the minute we’re completely separated. I was right. This is the thing that’s too much to hear. He’s turning his back on me now. I really am as gross as I thought. I’m not his storm or his phoenix. I’m completely worthless.
A whore.
“What’s going on with you and Dillon?” he asks after minutes go by of nothing but dead air around us.
“Nothing.”
“So why did he start taking his shirt off? Is that the new definition of nothing now?”
“He was showing me his scars, same as I showed him mine.”
This confession, the truth, it makes him go silent and his eyes drop to the ground again before darting to the side and then back down. Anywhere but on me where I want them to be. It hurts more seeing him act this way then my head does.
“He was holding you.”
“He hugged me after I told him what my dad did to me. Another confession.”
“You told him?”
“Yeah. He told me some stuff too.”
“Nothing’s going on?”
Kayden’s text was right. He saw what happened between me and Dillon and took it wrong. He got jealous, something I’m pretty sure he’s got no experience with considering everything he told me about not understanding the most basic social interactions.
His normally soft eyes, they’re darker, harder now. The reason he’s out here is because what he saw made him angry and he was about to do the exact same thing he did with Tim all over again even though he had no reason to.
I’ve never been so thankful for a text from Kayden Walker in my life. He p
revented something even worse from happening.
“No, not the way you’re thinking. We just worked out our issues. He was being a friend even though I’m still not sure what that is.”
“You’re a better friend than you think you are.”
“What were you doing in the hall, Eric? Why weren’t you outside with Belle and Kayden?”
“I told them the truth about us, Amelia. Belle told me to come in and get you. She didn’t have to tell me to do it. It’s what I wanted to do all day anyway. Pretending and ignoring you, it wasn’t working for me.”
Whenever I’m with him and he tells me what he’s thinking and feeling, it always warms me, puts me at ease because he’s never been anything but completely genuine and real. He doesn’t know how to deceive like most other people. His words now, it’s no different than any other time.
He means every word. He was coming to get me because he was as tired of us being apart as I was. He wasn’t embarrassed by me after all.
“Will you come inside with me?”
“I’ll go anywhere with you.”
I planned on taking him by the hand and walking back into the school, but now I’m not sure I can get my legs to move. They’re like rubber and I’m afraid the minute I take a step they’re gonna completely turn to liquid. He might not think anything of it, but his words, they’re always so damn perfect. Right.
Him just saying the first thing that comes to mind all the time is easily the thing I love most about him.
“Eric, I—”
No. I can’t tell him this right now. It’s not right. Not when everything I just dropped on him about Tim and me is still fresh. I still think that once he processes everything I’ve told him he’s going to take off. The last thing I need to do is say these words and have him take my heart with him when he goes.
“What? Why did you stop?”
“I want to be alone with you.” I blurt out, saying the first thing that comes to mind that will throw him off what I was really about to say. When his lips lift slightly, a half smile playing across his face, I know it’s worked the way I intended.
“I want to be alone with you too. Away from everyone.” He states evenly but the way his body moves forward, I can tell he means away from Dillon.
Take Me With You Page 23