“Okay, so what does that have to do with you?”
“They were still working together when I started studying with Tamar.” She half-shrugged and chewed her lip. “I got kind of starstruck by Dionne. She was all about action, about right now, and she knew all this cool shit that my inner goth kid ate up. Tamar was all about wax on, wax off. I was impatient. When Dionne pulled me into a banishing she was doing for this haunted house, I was so there. So excited that she saw power in me. It was--well. Things didn’t go well. It was scary as shit. Tamar showed up and pulled me out. Can I just say, I think Dionne could’ve handled it. I don’t think she’d have let me get hurt. But Tamar lost her shit over it. Huge meltdown. Dionne felt betrayed, like she’d shared all this rootwork stuff from her own heritage with Tamar, like they balanced each other, and she thought Tamar was just jealous that I might pick her instead, thought Tamar felt threatened that I might outgrow her. And that was it.”
I looped my arms around my knees. Anything, to keep from having to get up yet. “But you picked Tamar over Dionne.”
“I guess.”
“Why?”
She looked at the ground. “Tamar was my teacher first. I felt loyal. And, I guess, she was a little bit right. I was scared shitless by what went down. If I went with Tamar...” She shrugged again.
“You could stick to studying and wax on, wax off and it wouldn’t seem like a cop-out.”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“But you trust them both?”
She looked me dead in the eye. “With my life. Real talk? You’re incredible. Joe and I each have a lot going on ourselves. But I’m not sure I believe we could win this without both of them.” She sighed. “I just hope they realize that by the end of the weekend. I miss them. You know?”
I thought about the wreckage of my old life, the bridges burned, the friends who’d vanished, my exile from my own family. I wanted Dionne and Tamar to fix things, too. If only because it might help me believe something like that was possible. “Yeah. I think I do.”
We moved on to build the next ward.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
It was time to put on my most outgoing face. I gave myself a little pep talk to get my head in the game. After busking and panhandling on often-hostile city streets, it ought to be easy--and yet I was still nervous. The stakes were so high.
Dionne and Tamar had explained the structure of the sigil they’d constructed, when we all reconvened. It mattered how it was drawn--not only what order the lines and marks were made, but in what direction each of them was formed--and when we finished it, we had a charm that we had to speak, even under our breath. “Endure and enchant, protect and defend, awaken when called.” The charm would make the ink more lasting, even though we were already using permanent marker. Between sweat, showers, pond, and sunscreen, we couldn’t take any chances.
“Make believe it’s a hand stamp for a nightclub. That shit lasts for days.” Cherry wasn’t wrong.
To make our cover story more plausible, we’d agreed that we’d each add our initials below the sigil, but not connected to it, as if to prove how many people we’d marked. I came up with the last bit of our fib--that each “competitor” was going to have a chant that we’d start up at the burn that night, to get our groups to chant the loudest. Of course, the chant would be the same for everyone, and it would be a combination of the words to activate the sigils and the incantation to power up the wards around camp.
Vivi had gotten up and joined us. She wanted to help mark people, and she ate while we all worked out the plan. The food helped, and she’d already looked brighter when she found us. She was less gaunt, and had more color in her face, more energy. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I was glad to see that she had some relief, and that freeing her from the egregore seemed to have helped.
She and I went out into camp together. We’d barely set foot on the road when she stepped right in the path of a couple holding hands, and turned on her biggest smile. “Hey, would you guys be willing to help us out with a game we’re trying to win? It’s for a really cool project...” and she was off and running, spinning the lie with enthusiastic conviction.
Okay, maybe this would be more fun than I expected.
We made our slow and steady way through camp, targeting everyone we could catch. It paid off best when we hit groups of people hanging out. They weren’t in a rush, and if even one of them warmed to our story, chances were good that the rest of them would go along with it too. Plus, we only had to give the explanation once, which saved time.
Even so, it felt like we were covering painfully little ground. To make sure we didn’t get sloppy or forget anything, it took a minute or two just to make the sigil; another couple of minutes to tell the cover story and get them to agree; and then the time in between to make our way to the next people.
I did the math in my head. “At this rate, each of us can mark maybe fifteen or twenty people an hour. That’s not a lot.”
We’d ducked into one of the pub camps to hit up the drinkers, and also to give Vivi a few minutes to rest in the shade. She nibbled on peanuts from the bowl on the bar. “With seven of us working on it? That’s maybe a hundred fifty an hour. It’s not nothing.”
I wished we could have recruited more helpers, but we couldn’t risk using anyone who wasn’t a woo believer plus being someone we could trust to get the details right. I sighed. “There are two thousand people in camp. It’ll take us a good five hours to make a real dent in that. Even ten hours just gets us to two-thirds.”
“Hey, in America, a two-thirds majority can change the world.” Vivi’s smile was tired.
And yet, there was no way we could get close to that many. We’d be lucky to get in even five hours before the burn. We’d need a chance to rest and eat to fuel us for the night. Tamar and Dionne might have more for us to do to prepare for the fight. Dammit. I tried to put on a good face. “Yeah, guess you’re right.”
“I’m sorry I keep needing to rest. I don’t mean to be dead weight.” She pushed the peanut bowl away from her and slid off her stool.
I put my hand on her arm. “You’re not, okay? You’re making a huge difference. Take as many breaks as you need.” I scrubbed my face. “Let’s start asking people if they’re going to the burn. Focus on them, since they’ll be the most vulnerable.”
We kept working. It seemed to be doing Vivi good to have something to focus on, and she had a natural way with people. She connected with them easily, joking and laughing, making light conversation, winning them over. I found myself letting her take the lead in approaching people because it was getting harder to push aside all the terrible thoughts in my head and not fall into moody silence as I drew on people. I tried to imitate her and chitchat with people, but it felt forced. People let me draw on them, but they were more impatient than they were with Vivi. They were enjoying her, but doing me a favor.
She was a champ, but it was hot and tiring work. “Vivi, go back to your camp and rest. Have some more food.”
“No. I’m fine. And I’m so tired of eating. My jaw hurts and I’m sick of how everything tastes.” She looked like she was going to cry.
“You’re not fine, honey. You’re wilting. I can’t just let you run yourself into the ground.”
She was quiet for a moment, hugging her lanky torso. “Maybe you should. Maybe I should just...can’t I just let go?”
I took her by the shoulders. “Stop that. Stop it right now. That’s the curse talking, not you. Got it?”
“What if it’s all a lie? What if I died and nothing happened? You all got that thing off of me. Maybe I’d just be at peace. It would be okay.” Her eyes reddened. “There’s people here that you can save. Let me help with that. Let me know that I did something important before--before I--”
“No.” I shook her. “How can you think any of us can just sit around and watch you die? It doesn’t matter if
this whole Hungry Man thing isn’t true. I’d still fight for you. Okay? But if that’s not enough for you, then ask yourself--is it worth taking the chance? Can you just give up and hope that everything works out fine? Vivi, I don’t want to scare you, but if you die, it really is like it unleashes a plague on the world. One that kills in the space of a weekend. You want to do something important? Stay the fuck alive so we can figure out how to break this.”
I saw the conflict in her face, and then her shoulders went soft in my hands. “Okay.” It was barely a whisper. “Okay. I’ll try.”
“I know it’s hard.” I hugged her and her thin arms came up around me. “Believe me, I know how hard it is to keep breathing when everything in you wants to die.”
My shoulder muffled her sob. “I’m so sorry, Mari.”
“For what?”
“For walking on that stupid grass. For making you all go to all this trouble. I never wanted to be a burden.”
“Hey. You’re not, okay? And none of this is your fault. None of it. You just happened to get caught in something a whole lot bigger than you.” I squeezed her, but gently. “Can I bring you back to your tent for a little while? Please? I promise I’ll check on you.”
After a moment, she nodded against my shoulder. I kept my arm around her as I walked her back to Science Faction. Chris left the yurt as we reached the camp, and came straight toward us. “Hey! What’s going on?”
“Vivi’s been having a rough day,” I said. “I convinced her to take a rest. Can you or any of your campmates keep an eye on her?”
“Sure can.” We passed Vivi from the shelter of my arm to his. “You look sick. Do you need to go to the med tent?”
“No!” It came out too sharp. She flicked a glance my way, then forced a smile for him. “It’s, uh, my period. I have a condition. That time of month does a number on me.”
True to his masculine upbringing, that shut him up. I bit my lips to hide a grin and made my exit.
There was one place I needed to make sure I hit while there was still time. I made my way back to my own little tent, resisting the desire to sneak inside for a nap. Sure enough, Teo was lounging in the hammock, smoking and gazing up at the sky.
“Hey.” I held up my marker. “Can I draw on you?”
He looked me over. “Yeah. Sure.”
I sat cross-legged in the grass beside him and gestured for his arm. He held it out and I turned it palm-up, preparing to put the sigil on the inside of his wrist where there wasn’t any hair in the way. “Can’t promise a masterpiece like yours, but I think you’ll like it.”
“Having a better day today?” It sounded sincere. He took another drag on the cigarette.
“Not much.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks.”
He watched me draw. “Sorry if I was a jerk last night. You’re right, you did a lot. I was mad at those guys who just blew the whole thing off and, you know.”
“It’s fine. I really didn’t mean to skip out on you.”
“Hey, your friend. The one you said was getting stalked. You talk to her about it?”
“Yeah. A bunch of us, we did some stuff today. I think it made her safer.”
“That’s really good. I was thinking about that. About how you had heavy stuff on your mind last night. I’m glad that worked out.”
“More or less, yeah.”
“So what is this design?” He craned his neck to look at it.
I had my lie prepared, but I felt an impulse to tell him the truth. “Protection.”
“You think I need protection?”
I showed him my own sigil. “I think we all do.”
“From what?”
I thought about my answer. “Those who think so little of our existence that they think nothing of harming us.”
Something shifted in his face and he nodded like I Got It. “Yeah. Take all the protection we can get for that, right?”
“Exactly,” I said. I finished drawing and muttered the charm under my breath. “You going to the burn tonight?”
“Sure,” he said.
“Good. At some point a bunch of us are going to start chanting some stuff. Just join in, okay? It’s like, we’re all helping keep each other safe.”
“Okay.” He sounded less than sure, but at least he wasn’t fighting me. He examined the sigil. “Nice. It’s like a santero, no? You’re a santera?”
“Something like that.” I decided to scoot before he asked too many more questions. “Stay safe. See you tonight.”
By the time we needed to meet up at Free Radicals for dinner, I was weary, grimy, aching, and dripping with sweat. I felt guilty for getting Sara’s pretty clothes so dirty and disgusting.
As I made my way back across camp, I looked longingly at all the fun going on around me. People walked back from the pond, wet and towel-wrapped, laughing and refreshed. There was another shower party going on in the communal shower, a bunch of people singing off-key and filling water guns. People were doing workshops, making tutus and doing laughing yoga and tasting mead. There were people racing bike-drawn chariots despite the heat. People were walking under colorful parasols, sporting body paint, buying ice, dancing when music crossed their paths.
It wasn’t fair. I wanted to be finger-painting on old bedsheets, not drawing magical protection on unsuspecting arms. Vivi should have been sitting in the shade of a crazy art project having a soulful conversation with a new friend, not staving off starvation and fear. I could picture this weekend if we weren’t living under this threat; I’d be walking arm in arm with Sara under her parasol, drinking iced coffees. Or laughing with Joe at goofy art cartoons. Maybe right now he and Cherry would be finishing a swim and dozing contented in the shade of a tree. I could picture Tamar in a hammock under the pavilion, reading a popcorn thriller. Maybe I’d be barbecuing with Chris and Dove and sampling Science Faction’s creative food experiments. Or having a frosty margarita with Teo and my other neighbors. Maybe I’d be costumed, flirting, dancing, engaged in games or pranks.
Instead, this. My stomach knotted with fury every time I thought about what we were fighting, lurched with fear every time I thought about how bad our chances might be. I reminded myself that we were doing this so that everyone could keep enjoying the colorful, carefree fun I was envying them. I tried to be optimistic. If we were successful tonight, there was still a whole day left of Morph. Maybe tomorrow we’d be celebrating by doing all the things I was dreaming about doing right now.
It helped to tell myself I just had to get through tonight. Sort of.
We gathered back at Free Radicals and assessed. We’d done what we could; marked a few hundred people, set up the wards, put up Dionne’s spirit traps.
It wasn’t enough.
But one look around the group told us all that we were close to being used up. Everyone was exhausted, glassy-eyed with the combination of heat and walking and talking and stress.
“That’s it,” said Tamar with finality. “We’re done for now. Everyone rests and cools off.”
Joe fetched an ice-cold jug of water and passed it around. I drank until I coughed and pressed the sweaty plastic against my face. The cold felt so good. I wanted to dump the jug over my head.
Dionne took the water as I passed it over. “Our fae friends got any news?”
“Nothing more yet about the grass.” Joe accepted the jug from her and drank. “They’re rallying everyone they can, and they agreed to stay back. They’re guarding the circle and the woods around it and won’t come past the tree line if they can help it. If any humans come at them, they’ll subdue them and try not to hurt them.”
“That’s good,” said Tamar. “If we can keep people herded in the center of camp, maybe we can keep them safe.”
“Food’s on,” Cherry called from the kitchen pop-up.
I was too n
ervous to want to eat, but there wouldn’t be another chance. I accepted a bowl of chili and a salad and some bread. Tamar offered me an icy root beer. “Thanks. I wish I could return the favor. You guys have taken such good care of me and I feel like a big mooch.”
She sat cross-legged in the grass facing me and one eyebrow threatened to invade her hairline. “You’re planning to risk your safety to help protect this camp, and you think anyone’s gonna begrudge you a bowl of ground meat?”
I pictured the meager stores in my tent, which were probably limp and unappetizing by now. “I really did bring enough food to keep myself going. It’s not gourmet or anything, but--I just want to be on the record that I was being self-reliant.”
“Duly noted,” she said, with only a cursory eye roll. “Are you ready for this?”
“No. But I’m prepared.”
“Fair enough.”
“Hey, Vivi!” Sara waved to her. “How are you feeling? Come join us.”
“Thanks.” She sank into a chair, looking nauseated. “Hey, so, guys--”
“Do you want some food? I can get you something.” Sara hovered over her.
“No. Thanks. I ate a little while ago. Listen.” She licked her lips. “I think I fucked up.”
We glanced around at each other. “What do you mean?” I said.
Vivi stared at her hands, twisting her fingers into weird shapes. “So, I felt bad about having to stop. You know. Marking people. I know it’s important that we get as many people as possible. So--I tried to get help.”
The chili churned in my stomach. “Who did you ask?”
She shrank into the chair. “Some of the Science Faction folks.”
“Are you kidding me?” Cherry put her bowl down. “Jesus. Why?”
“I thought--I don’t know. I thought they’d do it because it was important to me.”
“So what happened?” I hoped I could avoid getting mad at her.
“They didn’t...go for it. I didn’t tell them all the details. I tried to just say that it was for protecting people because people who trance out are vulnerable. I had to tell them a little bit because, you know, because it was important that they draw it the right way and say the charm and all. But they thought it was weird and sketchy and they wanted to know what was going to happen that people would need protecting. And then Chris got all suspicious and wanted to know if you guys had been drugging me and that’s why I seem sick. I told him you were helping me but I think he thinks I’m being brainwashed or something. Dove was the only one who was nice about it even though she didn’t get it either.” Vivi sagged deeper into herself.
MetamorphosUS: Book 1 of the Mythfit Witch Mysteries Page 32