So a week after I made the decision, we all moved. Me into Max’s flat, and Hannah’s boyfriend into the one she and I had shared for the past six years. Emma also lived with us for three of those but when she decided to stay on at university and do her Masters, she moved back home to save money. Not that it was a huge issue for her, as her parents owned the flat and refused to take any rent from us, but she was happier going home.
The short ten-minute drive to our flat seemed to take forever. I pulled up out the front and thought it was weird to be parking next to Max’s car. He had worked nights the whole time I’d known him, and I was expecting him to be working tonight. They were always messing about with his shifts so they had obviously changed it again at the last minute.
I dragged my body up the stairs to the third floor and let myself in. I shut the door behind me and saw that the only light on was coming from the bedroom. My heart dropped into my stomach when I heard voices and strange noises coming from down the hallway. As quietly as I could, I tiptoed towards the room so I could see what was going on.
When I got to the door, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Now, I knew Max was no angel, but I was under the impression that we had put the past behind us when we decided to live together and had become a monogamous couple. Yes, the past few months had been a strain, but still. What was happening before my eyes on our bed showed me clearly how wrong I was.
I needed to get out of there as soon as possible, so I slipped back down the hallway, grabbed a couple of pairs of knickers that, luckily for me, were drying on the radiator, and I got out of the flat immediately.
I tried to keep myself together as I made a pit stop at a shop on my way to Ryan’s house. I didn’t want to be one of those crying emotional women standing down the alcohol aisle, trying to decide which bottle will numb her pain the best.
Once I paid for two bottles of my favourite wine and a crate of lager for Ryan, I made my way over to his new house. He only moved in two weeks ago, although it was months ago that he made the decision to buy the three-story town house in the new development that was going up on the outskirts of the city. It was basically a pile of bricks when he took me with him to see it for the first time, but I could see why he had fallen in love with it from the moment I saw the plot and the plans. It was going to be a modern spacious house, with amazing views across fields from the back, but from the front you could see all the lights from the city in the distance. Because it was yet to be finished, it meant Ryan had the chance to choose a lot of the interior to suit his taste. This was perfect for him, as he didn’t want to spend his whole summer decorating and making the house his home.
I parked around the back of the house by the garage so that when Ryan got home, he could still park in his usual spot out the front. This meant having to wait for him at his front door, which was fine until the weather changed.
When I’d text him earlier in the day to wish him a good last day of term, he said he was going out for a meal with his colleagues this evening but it wouldn’t be a late one as a number of his work mates were going on holiday together and their plane was stupidly early in the morning, so they had a curfew. As it’s now midnight, I’m guessing that didn’t really go to plan.
I’m starting to think I should have gone somewhere else. It’s not that I don’t have any other options but out of all my friends and family Ryan knows me the best, what we have been through this year has made us close. I think I could say he’d turned into my best friend somewhere in the last six months. I hope he feels the same and lets me stay.
The longer I sit here, the more I think that maybe I should have stayed in my car, but then I remember the layout of the house wouldn’t allow me to see when he’s back, and I really don’t want to spend the night in my car. I love my little KA, it’s been great for the past two years, but it really isn’t a suitable bed.
So I continue to wait him out, sitting here soaking wet and freezing cold with the images of what was happening on my bed flashing though my head. It’s not like I didn’t expect it to happen eventually. I’d had my suspicions for a while. I don’t even love Max; hell, I’m not even sure I really like him. I’m just so disappointed in myself for letting it happen, all because of my need to be loved and cared for.
Eventually, the tears that I was holding in come flooding out, so to add to my misery I now have black mascara streaks running down my cheeks and red puffy eyes.
Finally, I see headlights coming my way and Ryan’s white Honda Civic pulling on to his drive. At first, he looks shocked to see me, then he starts to look angry as he makes his way towards me. Maybe I did make the wrong decision coming here.
Ryan
I’ve had a great night out with my school colleagues, celebrating the end of term. It’s been a long year and one that I am glad to put behind me. A night out with good food and good people was just what I needed to start my summer holidays off right. The only thing that could have made it better was if I could have had more than one drink, but I sacrificed that when I decided to buy my house this far out of the city. It was worth it though.
As I pull up on my drive I can see someone curled up in my porch. It’s teeming down with rain; why is someone sat there getting soaked?
As I come to a stop, I can see that it’s a very wet Molly sat there. She looks dreadful, her usually long blonde hair is in rats’ tails and sticking to her face, shoulders and neck. Her eyes are red and she has makeup all down her face. I come to a very quick conclusion as I make my way to her that it’s her dickhead of a boyfriend that has done this. I knew it was coming, it was just a matter of when.
“Ryan,” Molly sobs as I pull her tiny frame off the ground and into a hug. I can feel her shaking from the cold and also the sobs that are wracking her body.
I pull her into my side, grab her bags and let us in. My town house is laid out with a large room and bathroom with French doors on the ground floor that lead out to my little courtyard style garden. I thought it would make an excellent gym. The middle floor is open plan kitchen, living and dining room with a small cloakroom and the top floor has three bedrooms, one being the master with en suite, and a large family bathroom. I love it. From the moment I looked at the plans, I just knew it was going to be my little piece of heaven, and I am still in awe that I was able to buy this place. I shall be forever grateful for the help I had.
Currently there are boxes everywhere, as I haven’t had time to unpack much with everything I had to do at school to end the year, but my first holiday job is to get this place sorted and looking like a home.
“Hey, hey, come on, Molly, I’ve got you. Let’s get you in, dried off and warm with a drink in your hand and you can tell me what the little fucker did,” I say in a soothing voice that is at odds with how I’m actually feeling, I want to go and beat the shit out of him for treating her so badly for so long.
“How do you know he has done anything?” Molly asks in a quiet voice as we make our way upstairs.
“I can read you like a book, Molly Carter, plus he’s a massive dickhead. I think I’ve mentioned that before. Only Max can make you feel this bad about yourself.”
“Oh, why was I so fucking stupid? I knew moving in with him was a bad idea. I should have listened to my gut feeling, not just do whatever I thought would make him happy.”
“Come on, get your arse upstairs and in the shower. I’ll find you a t-shirt to wear. Leave your clothes on the floor in my room and I’ll put them in the wash. You should find everything you need in the en suite. When you’re done, I’ll be waiting downstairs with your drink ready.”
I root through a suitcase in one of the spare bedrooms to find a t-shirt for Molly to put on. I know the one I want, and I know it’s here somewhere.
I just put my hand on the polo shirt with Oxford Brookes University embroidered on the left side as I hear the door to my en suite shut. I take the t-shirt to my room and leave it on the bed. I’m hoping my choice will make her smile, remembering happier times.
; I knock lightly on the door. “Have you got everything you need?”
There is silence for a few seconds and I can imagine her checking out all the products in the shower and realising they’re all men’s. Eventually I hear a quiet “yes” from the other side of the door.
“Okay, I’ll see you downstairs when you’re done. Take your time.”
I gather up her wet clothes and take them with me. They may be soaking but as I walk with them, I can still smell Molly’s vanilla scent on them. It makes me feel happy and content. She has been my rock over the past six months. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I just wish all the people in her life could see how amazing she is and treat her properly.
I go to put everything in the washing machine when I see her bra poking out of the pile. “What the fuck do I do with this?” I mutter to myself. Something in me thinks it needs some kind of special cycle in the machine but fuck if I know. I decide to shove it all in and just put it on a cool quick wash. That shouldn’t do it much damage, right?
Chapter Two
Molly
Thankfully, my concerns about Ryan not taking me in were forgotten the moment he picked me up off the floor and gave me a huge bear hug. I felt so safe in his arms. That brought on another wave of tears and disappointment in myself.
I’m now stood in his en suite shower. He has just asked me through the door if I have everything I need so I quickly look around, um, all men’s products. I shout yes back because I can hardly say no and ask him to go down the shop for me. It will have to do until I go shopping or get my stuff from the flat.
I stand in the shower for a good twenty minutes under the spray, letting the hot water soothe my aching muscles. It is a giant walk-in shower with a huge rainfall showerhead. I could get used to this. I mentally put it on my list for when I go property hunting now that I’m homeless.
I head back into the bedroom once I’ve finished and immediately see Ryan’s white Oxford Brookes University t-shirt on his bed. I smile for the first time in what feels like forever and pull it over my head, remembering that he was wearing this the first night we all met in the student union.
I find that Ryan has also placed my handbag on the bed, obviously knowing from the size of it that there must be stuff in there I could use, and he would be right. I pull out a hairbrush and try to do something with my hair after not seeing any conditioner in the shower. I find a bottle of my favourite perfume and pull on a pair of the knickers I grabbed earlier, feeling very grateful I did and now don’t have to go commando under his t-shirt.
Once I feel almost human again, I head downstairs to where I know there is a big glass of wine waiting for me.
I walk into the open plan living area to find Ryan leaning his hip against the kitchen worktop with his feet crossed and staring closely at his phone. He has changed since he got in and is now wearing long slouchy navy shorts that hang low on his hips and a fitted white t-shirt, which shows off his wide shoulders, slim waist and muscled chest and arms to perfection. His dirty blonde hair is a mess, like he has spent the whole time I was in the shower running his hands through it. I’ve always found Ryan attractive – well, who wouldn’t? He is stunning. And his Scouse accent? Oh, I could listen to him talk for hours! It has diluted since he first moved to Oxford but it isn’t any less sexy. He’s not my usual type as I tend to go for slimmer guys with less muscle, but I remember trying to hit on him the night we met. I kept trying and trying, making a total fool of myself. I was too drunk to realise he was paying no attention to me but was besotted with my best friend. Good times.
His head comes up as I move towards him. I watch as his eyes travel from the top of my head, to my toes and back again while his teeth attack his bottom lip and his normally bright blue eyes turn a shade darker.
“Everything alright?” I ask, trying not to be wearing a knowing smirk because he was caught checking me out.
“Um…yeah…sorry, it’s just that it’s…um…it’s been a while, you know,” he stutters as his cheeks turn a little pink.
“Yes, I know what you mean,” I mumble to myself more than him. “Plus, I dare any man not to check out my legs – they are damn fine legs.” I’m hoping to lighten the mood; I don’t want him to be embarrassed. We both know we are never going there together. A harmless bit of looking is fine. After all, I was sort of doing the same before he saw me. Not that I’m going to admit it.
I hear Ryan mutter something under his breath as he turns around to grab my wine, but I don’t quite make out what he said.
“What was that?”
“Fuck…nothing. Your clothes are in the washing machine on a quick wash. They’ll be done soon and we can get them drying. I’m guessing they are the only clothes you have, or have you got stuff in your car?”
I follow Ryan into the living room and curl myself up in the middle of his corner sofa with my wine.
Once I’m comfortable, I prepare myself to explain what happened. “No, I don’t have anything. All my stuff is in the flat.”
“Go on then, what happened tonight?” Ryan asks, getting comfortable for my story.
“Okay, so Cocoa’s was really quiet. Megan went home early because Oscar was ill and wanted her. When my last customer left, I decided it was time to call it a night. I was expecting Max to be working so was surprised to see his car outside the flat, but you know what they have been like with his hours recently, so I didn’t really think much of it other than that I wasn’t going to have the nice quiet evening soaking in the bath and watching my TV programmes that I had planned on the drive home. When I got in, I started to head towards our bedroom as the light was on, but I was stopped in my tracks by voices.”
“Fuck, he wasn’t shagging someone else in your bed, was he?” Ryan interrupts.
“Ha, if only. It’s worse than that.” I watch as Ryan’s eyebrows rise up in question, so I continue. “As I rounded the corner, I saw Max laid out on our bed with one blonde bimbo riding his cock whilst there was another sat on his face, facing the other girl and playing with her tits.”
“Fucking arsehole. I’m going to rip his fucking head off. How could he do that to you? And in your fucking bed? He must have known you were going to be home soon. Fuck, I’m going to fucking kill him. I always told you he wasn’t good enough for you. I told you this would happen and you would get hurt.”
Ryan is now pacing up and down in front of me, his hands alternating between running through his hair and clenching into fists at his sides. I can see the muscles in his neck pulsing with anger. I can’t help but think Max should be watching his back, because it’s going to fucking hurt when Ryan gets his hands on him.
“What did you do?” he asks when he has calmed down enough to talk properly.
“I turned around before any of them saw me and silently left the flat to come here, obviously stopping for wine on the way.”
“Obviously!” he smirks, before draining his can of beer, then goes to find another.
“Hey, can I have a refill too?” I ask, realising I’ve drunk my way through my glass telling that story.
Ryan comes back with the bottle and fills me up before placing it on the coffee table and opening his beer. “So what are you going to do? I guess he has no idea he’s been caught, or where you are?”
“I have no idea what I’m going to do. Since I found them, all I can think about is how stupid I am. Oh, and how when I decide where I am going to live I want a shower like yours upstairs.”
Ryan doesn’t look amused by my comment; I think he’s more concerned about whether I will forgive Max than what shower I want. His eyes urge me to continue.
“Well, you can stop worrying. I’m not going back to him. I never should have moved in with him in the first place. I knew it was the wrong decision at the time, but it was the easiest option and I knew it was what he wanted, so I thought maybe it would all be okay, you know?” I say, shrugging.
“Was that a question? Because I can honestly say no, I didn’t kno
w. I think at the time everyone who knew you said it wouldn’t be okay. We told you not to move out of the flat so fast, that you could stay until you found somewhere of your own. You and Max have never had the type of relationship that would end up being something serious and you knew it; you were just too weak to get out of it. You don’t go from fucking about with Max while screwing others to living together and being in a committed relationship.”
“Oh, just fuck off Ryan, all you had to say was I told you so. I don’t need a big lecture. I know I never should have moved in with him. I knew the relationship would most likely be a disaster. To be honest, I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to catch him because I’m sure he’s probably been at it the whole time. Plus, I’ve refused to have sex with him since the accident so I’m sure that gave him the push he needed, if he even needed one. A leopard never changes his spots and all that.” I’m getting angry now, I don’t need Ryan telling me what I already know and what I’m beating myself up about.
I look into his eyes and I see a question there. I hate that it is there but he is right. “Oh, don’t give me that look. Yes, I know I was just as bad as him when we first started sleeping together. Yes, I know I have been just as wild as he has and yes, I know you don’t like it but it was how I was. I have my reasons, no matter how fucked up they are, but do you know what? I hate it too. And yes, in answer to your non-spoken question, I have changed and you fucking know it. We have first-hand experience at how short life is and I’m not wasting it on dickheads anymore. I want to be in a loving relationship. I want that, and the next time I have sex I will be in love or damn fucking close to it. I have wanted that all along, to be loved and cared for.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 2