“Ryan no, I can’t just tag along because you don’t want to leave me alone. Plus, I’ve got work and shifts at Cocoa’s next week.”
“Will you listen to me, woman? If you hadn’t so rudely interrupted, you would have heard me explain that I have already spoken to Susan, and Lilly and Dec are going to work your shifts at Cocoa’s. I have spoken to the company I booked the holiday with, and there is Wi-Fi so you can take your laptop and work on whatever briefs you’ve got at the moment, and they confirmed that although it’s only a one bed, there is a day bed and plenty of room for two people to stay.”
“Well, you really have thought of everything. Where is it?”
“It’s a little beach hut right on the beach in Cornwall. Look,” I pass her my phone with the details of the beach hut.
“Wow, it’s so cute and peaceful.”
“It’s a private beach so there won’t be any holiday makers on it, other than the ones staying in the huts along with us.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“So, you’re in?”
“Did I actually have a choice?” she laughs.
“No, but I was expecting to have to convince you. You surprised me yet again.”
“I like to keep you on your toes! What time are you planning on leaving tomorrow? Because I could really do with going shopping,” she asks.
“I wondered how long it was going to take you to fill all this new furniture. We can get in the beach hut any time after three, and it takes about three hours to get down there I think, so around midday if that suits you.
“I’m not filling my furniture yet; I’ll need holiday stuff, bikinis, etc.” she says, picking up the empty plate and putting it aside so she can get the next box to start on.
Did she just say bikinis? Shit, I didn’t think this through. I close my eyes and will the image of her in a bikini to leave my mind. I really need to get a grip.
Chapter Five
Molly
I was there as soon as the shops opened this morning with a list of what I needed for my week away. I cannot wait to get to that little beach hut; it’s the cutest place I’ve ever seen. I can just see myself sitting in the hot tub overlooking the beach as the sun goes down with a glass of wine. Heaven! It’s going be so relaxing, which is exactly what we both need.
Every time I think about it, I get butterflies in my stomach. Little did I know when I bought those new suitcases on Saturday, thinking that I needed a holiday, would I be going on one so soon. I checked the weather forecast when I first woke up this morning, and it is going to be amazing all week. Oh yes, Cornwall, here I come.
My full suitcases are sat on my bed and I am double checking that I have everything I need. I may have gone a little mad at the shops this morning, which has resulted in me needing two cases, but oh well, it’s not every day a girl gets taken away.
As well as all the obvious necessities like suntan lotion, I ended up with five new bikinis, summer dresses, shorts, vests and t-shirts, a skirt, a pair of flip flops and wedges, new lingerie for the week and a couple of flowers to go in my hair, Hawaii style!
After crossing off the last items on my list, I zip up my cases and drag them into the hallway. As I walk back into my room, I have a huge smile on my face, just like I have since we finished putting everything together at some ungodly hour this morning. Ryan kept his promise and we didn’t stop until everything was made. I knew about it when I got up this morning though; every muscle in my body hurt from all the lumping around. I really need to return to my exercise classes once we get back.
I make my way across the room, grab my laptop and sit on my new chair, putting my feet up on the coffee table I got yesterday that I have set up in front of the French doors leading to the courtyard. I check my emails and to do lists for the week so I don’t fall behind on work. After the accident, I didn’t take on as many clients as we had before. Work took a back seat to everything else going on, but it has started picking up again. So much so, that I am starting to think I may need to find an office and hire another designer. It’s amazing to think that the dream we had when we were teenagers might just come true. I’m shutting my laptop down when I hear Ryan’s footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Two cases? You know we are only going for seven days, right?” he says, laughing, as he pops his head around the door.
“I’m a woman, I can’t help it. I’m making the most of it so shut the hell up. Don’t tell me – you’ve just got a tiny backpack or something pathetic?” I walk over to the front door, slipping my flip-flops on as I go and notice I’m not far wrong; he has a small suitcase, which looks tiny next to mine. I roll my eyes at him “Whatever,” I shrug as I get to him. “I’ll carry yours!” I say over my shoulder, as I make my way to his car.
The journey has been so much fun. I synced my phone to Ryan’s car, much to his delight, and we have been listening to and singing along with my favourite old school songs as well as playing stupid travelling games and taking the piss out of the other drivers we passed. We are now driving through the most picturesque little Cornish village, only ten minutes away from our beach hut, according to the SatNav.
“Wow,” I say. As we pull up to our allocated parking space on the edge of the small cliff the beach huts are sat in, all you can see is the bay in front of us. “Definitely cannot complain about the view,” I say, getting out the car and going to the fence at the very edge to look over. “Oh my God, look how cute they are!” I can see the top of five beach huts from here, with their huge balconies overlooking the bay.
“Come on, grab some stuff,” Ryan says from behind me as he gets all the suitcases out of the car. “We are in number one, so it’s this way by the looks of it,” he says, nodding his head over to a sign. We make our way down the winding path to our little home for the week, and I swear the view keeps getting better.
When we get to our hut, I can’t believe my eyes. It has to be the nicest of all the ones we have passed. Its balcony wraps around three sides. There is a section for eating with a white bistro set, at the front there is a giant outside bed for lounging on as well as wooden sun loungers, and on the final side is the hot tub. The way it is set in to the cliff makes it totally secluded and right at the end of the path; we could go the whole week and not see anyone else if we wanted to.
“Don’t just stand there staring, let’s go check out the inside,” Ryan says, opening the little gate.
“I think I’m in love,” I state when I get inside. The front wall of the beach hut has glass sliding doors so they can be totally opened. All the furniture in the open plan kitchen/diner and living room is white, and all the accessories are bright and multi-coloured, bringing the sunshine inside. The bedroom and bathroom are at the back of the hut and follow the same theme. “I want one,” I say whilst spinning around, taking everything in.
“The internet didn’t really do it any justice, did it?” Ryan says, putting the suitcases on the stand in the bedroom.
“Ahhhhh,” I sigh as I sink in the warm water of the hot tub. As soon as we put our cases in the hut this afternoon, we went in search of a supermarket. When we got back, I made us grilled salmon and asparagus with a green salad and Eton mess for dessert with local strawberries. It was so good. I think I may have embarrassed Ryan a little with the appreciative noises I was making while eating it. Ryan washed up as I cooked the dinner, while I went and put on my first bikini of the week to test out the awesome hot tub. I decided after much deliberation to go with the 1950’s style red and white polka dot one, because it covered up more skin than the others, so it wouldn’t be so good for getting a tan, but perfect for tonight.
So, with a full plastic wine glass in hand, I am sat here watching the sky change colour as the sun makes its descent for the night, and waiting for Ryan to appear. I was going to wait for him so we could get in together, but he was adamant for me to go and start enjoying myself.
Eventually, he comes out of the hut, wearing a pair of pale blue board shorts that hang
deliciously low on his hips, showing off all his defined muscles and his sexy V that had me almost drooling the other day. I try my best to keep my eyes on his face, but it’s almost painful to do.
I move over so he has enough space to get in, but he seems to have paused at the steps. “Come on, it’s so good.”
This seems to snap him out of his thoughts, and he hops in.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, noticing that he hasn’t looked at me yet, and he looks really tense.
“Yeah fine, you?” he says unconvincingly.
“Yes, amazing. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It is heaven.”
“No problem,” he says opening a can of beer. “When I booked it, I thought the time alone would be good, but as the months have gone on, I couldn’t think of anything worse. I actually thought about cancelling it. So, I guess we should be thanking dickhead Max for fucking up, so you could come with me.”
“Wow, I didn’t think I’d be thankful to him for anything. Weird!” I raise my glass, “To Max screwing me over,” and touch it to Ryan’s can.
“To Max, his loss is my gain.” Ryan says, but quickly looks away. I can’t help but notice his cheeks redden slightly. What is up with him tonight?
“So…I hate to ask, but what is the plan for tomorrow? You said you wanted to celebrate, not be miserable, right?” I question gently, not really wanting to bring the subject up.
“Well, as Jo told me for months after the accident, focus on the good times you had and celebrate what you had together, not on what you have lost. I’m not totally sure how to do that, but I’m sure we’ll come up with something,” he says, sounding unsure all of a sudden.
Jo was the grief counsellor I found for us after the accident. I cannot believe six months have passed since my best friend and Ryan’s girlfriend Hannah died in a car crash. When I think about it, it feels like it could have been last week. That was the most devastating day of my life.
When Ryan phoned me in the middle of the night from the hospital in hysterics and told me to get there as soon as possible, my stomach fell into my feet. When I got there and found out what actually happened, it felt like my heart left my body. I remember falling into Ryan in floods of tears and we sobbed together on the floor of the hospital for what felt like hours.
Susan and Pete found us in the waiting room after a while, pulled us up and sat us in chairs. They explained in as much detail as they could what had happened between their own sobs. Hannah and Emma had both worked that evening at Cocoa’s. When they eventually locked up after a busy night, Emma’s car wouldn’t start, so Hannah offered for her to stay the night at the flat. Emma had work the next morning so needed to go home; Hannah offered to take her back to their parents’ house. They were not far away from the Morrisons’ house, at a junction. Hannah pulled out to cross the road, when a drunk driver came flying at them like a bat out of Hell, and crashed into the driver side. According to the medics, Hannah died instantly and wouldn’t have been in any pain. Emma, on the other hand, was stuck in the passenger seat with multiple broken bones and bruises. She managed to phone an ambulance, then her parents.
Ryan and I seemed to deal with our grief in a similar way. We shut ourselves off from everyone but each other and the Morrisons. We never really spoke about Hannah; we comforted each other by just being there. Someone recommended Jo to me, and I signed us up for a joint session. We fell in love with her in that first hour. She was straight talking and didn’t do any of the softly, softly approach that other people had tried that made my skin crawl. She just said it how it was, and gave us great advice. Which is what Ryan is talking about. She would tell us how shitty a situation it was, but that we had to be thankful for the time we did have with her. Celebrate every day what a wonderful person she was, and the joy she brought to our lives. She told us that we had to continue to live, and we had to find a way to be happy, because that was what Hannah would have wanted for us. To Ryan especially, she continually told him not to be afraid to love again and to move on. He still had a life to live. We both did, and they needed to be full of fun and love. Hence our motto: live, laugh, love.
Ryan must have noticed I was taking a trip down memory lane, because at some point he moved next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I feel his thumb catch a tear I didn’t realise had fallen from my eye.
“I’m sorry, we’re meant to be celebrating and being happy,” I say, as I lean my head on his shoulder.
“We are, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to be sad as well sometimes. It’s okay, Molls,” he whispers in my ear and rubs his hand up and down my arm in comfort when he feels me start crying harder.
Once I pull myself together, I pull my head back to look at him and notice his eyes are looking a little wet as well.
“So, the reason I have so much luggage was partly because I overdid the shopping this morning, but also because I bought I few things with me in case we needed them.” Ryan raises his eyebrow in question so I continue. “I brought some of Hannah’s favourite DVD’s, a couple of photo albums, Twister and a bottle of Apple Sourz.” I can’t help but smile at the thought of them, and the memories of us all together they bring to mind.
“When I said celebrate, I wasn’t really thinking I’d have to spend a day watching you two’s favourite girly DVD’s, but now you say it, I think it’s perfect. Thank you for thinking of it, Molly. Why didn’t you say anything when I was taking the piss earlier?”
“I didn’t want to bring it up before it was necessary. Look what it’s done to us!” I say, pointing at our smiling yet tear-stained faces in amusement. “I don’t know how I would have done this without you, Ryan Evans. Thank you,” I say cuddling back into him and looking out to the star-filled sky, hoping Hannah is looking down on us happy because we made it through together.
“You too, Molly,” he says, sounding a little choked up.
We spent the rest of the night getting drunk, chatting about everything and nothing. We did cry some more, but we laughed so much that the happy tears blended with the sad. Ryan was right: we needed to celebrate, and that was exactly what we were doing. I couldn’t help but think of the people we had left at home, and how they were feeling, though.
We eventually got out in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Somehow, we managed, in our drunken state, to figure out that there were electronically controlled blinds in the ceiling that came down over the sliding doors, so Ryan wouldn’t be awake as soon as the sun rose. I argued that I was okay to sleep on the day bed as I was crashing his holiday but, ever the gentleman, Ryan point blank refused and practically pushed me into the bedroom. I showered and changed into my new pyjamas that I thought were a suitable mix between cute and sexy for a holiday with my best friend, and fell fast asleep.
I wake the next morning to the sound of my mobile ringing. When it stops, I roll over to go back to sleep, thinking I will talk to whoever it is later, but it just starts again. Groaning, I open my eyes and try to locate it. By the time I get to it, it stops again, but seeing that it was Emma, I ring her back straight away.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Emma shouts down the line. “How could you, you fucking bitch?”
“Emma, calm the fuck down, what’s wrong?” Silly question, really; her twin died six months ago today. What isn’t wrong?
“You and Ryan. That didn’t take you fucking long, did it? I knew you were after him the whole time he was with Hannah. Then as soon as she dies, in you step to take her place. Now you’re fucking living with him in the house that Hannah practically paid for, and going away on holiday with him. How could you Molly, h-h-how c-c-c-could y-y-you?” She starts to sob uncontrollably on the other end.
“Emma it’s okay, I’m here for you, it’s okay.” I say, in what I hope is a soothing voice, as she continues to sob. Eventually, her breathing evens out.
“Molly?”
“Yes, hun?”
“I’m sorry,” she says in a quiet voice.
; “It’s okay, you’re allowed to be angry, and if that needs to be at me then that’s okay. I’m here for whatever you need.” I say calmly, trying to forget the beginning part of our phone call. I know she’s being irrational because she’s angry.
“I shouldn’t have said that to you. Mum and Dad just said that you came around on Saturday to tell them you have moved in with Ry, and then that you were on holiday with him. I just flipped out, ya know? I’m so sorry.”
“Em, really, it’s fine. I tried to get hold of you over the weekend to explain everything, but your phone was off. I’ll spare you the full details until I see you, but basically, I caught Max cheating, so I went to Ry’s. He offered me his downstairs room instead of me finding somewhere of my own. I love it there, and being with him. He’s been my rock through this, and I think I’ve been his. I wasn’t expecting to be coming on holiday with him; he booked it for himself months ago, but as he has been dealing with Hannah’s death, he realised he didn’t want to come here alone like he planned originally. So he invited me, and we have come to celebrate her. I would never do anything to hurt you, Emma. You know that, don’t you? Ryan and I are just friends. He’s like my brother, just like he is to you.”
“Yeah, I do know that. I’m sorry, I’m just a bit emotional. Hey, he’s one seriously hot brother though, right! How’s the beach clothing working out for you?” she says with her normal humour starting to creep in, telling me she’s almost over her breakdown - for now, anyway.
“Uh yeah, not a bad view around here actually, now that you mention it. The bay is pretty nice to look at too!” I can hear her laughing on the other end.
“Well, I’ll let you go and enjoy your day celebrating. Sorry I rang so early, I just needed to shout at you.”
“No problem, I’m here for you to abuse anytime you need it! I’ll ring you later and make sure you’re okay. Keep your bloody phone on.”
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