Angel Series Books #1-2.5

by Tracy Lorraine

  “Yeah okay, talk to you later. Love you.”

  “Love you too, bye.”

  I put the phone down and lie back down on the bed. “Wow,” I breathe, what a start to the day. That’s when the tears start.

  Ryan

  I sit up in bed, realising I can hear Molly talking. I walk over to the door to make sure she’s okay. Today is going to be tough for both of us; I want to make sure we get through it together. I put my ear to the door and can hear her consoling someone. That someone I presume is Emma.

  Surprisingly, I can hear the usually quiet as a mouse Emma shouting down the phone. I can’t make out what she’s saying, but it sounds quite vicious. Molly continues to sooth her, telling her it’s okay. She then starts to explain about her living with me, that shocks me for a minute because it leads me to believe that Emma was shouting at Molly because of it. Why would she be angry with that?

  “Ryan and I are just friends. He’s like my brother, just like he is to you,” I hear Molly say, and for some reason, those words are like a slap to the face. I know I shouldn’t have been feeling the way I have about her the past few days, but to hear her say that hurts a bit. She obviously hasn’t had similar feelings, even if some of her actions made me think she did.

  I walk away from the door as they continue talking. I put the blinds up and look out over the bay, trying to gather my thoughts. I lost my girlfriend six months ago today; the woman I loved more than anything, and who was going to one day be my wife and mother to my babies. And here I am, upset because her best friend, now my best friend, has just admitted to Emma that I am like a brother to her. My feelings about Molly have been making me feel really guilty, but I felt better about it thinking the feeling was mutual. But now, knowing it’s not, makes me feel even worse.

  I pull myself together and walk back over to the bedroom door to hear Molly saying goodbye. I stand and listen a little longer to make sure she is okay. It’s not long before I hear her start crying. Putting all my feelings aside, I knock on the door. No matter how I feel, she is my best friend, and I need to be here for her like she has been for me.

  “Yeah,” she replies quietly, so I go in and see her laid on the bed, sobbing into her pillow.

  I lay down in front of her and pull her into my arms, so she is laid on my chest. She throws her right arm and leg over my body, and clings on while she cries. I try to comfort her by rubbing my arm up and down her back slowly. Eventually, I hear her breathing even out, and I know she has cried herself to sleep in my arms.

  Chapter Six

  Molly

  I wake up feeling really hot, and when I open my eyes I realise why. I have my head on Ryan’s naked chest, and my arm and leg wrapped tightly around his body. He’s holding on to me equally as tight. I spend a few seconds appreciating the sculpted chest I am laid on, before I peer up at his face to see that he is still fast asleep. He looks so young and carefree in his sleep. I wish we didn’t have to deal with today. I was so upset when I got off the phone with Emma, I was glad when he came in and pulled me to him. At some point I obviously cried myself to sleep, and from the looks of the tear tracks on Ryan’s face, he did as well.

  I lay there looking at him a while longer before I see his lips start to curl up at the corners.

  “If you keep staring at me like that, I’ll start to get the wrong idea,” he says quietly, with his eyes still shut, but he is smiling properly now.

  I smack his chest gently and lift myself up on my elbow. This makes him open his eyes, and I can see all the love and compassion in them as he looks back at me. I always know I’m safe when I can look into his eyes.

  “Thank you for this. I really needed it,” I say, looking into his eyes to show him how serious I am. “Emma was on the phone and she was really upset.”

  “I know, I heard you. I’m sorry she was so horrible to you. I should have made sure I told her about you living with me so she didn’t react like that.”

  “It’s okay, I tried to ring her but you know what she’s been like. I explained it all to her and she’s happy now – well, as much as she can be. She knows she jumped to conclusions. She was just angry at the world, and I was the one to get the brunt of it, and that’s okay. At least if she’s shouting at me, I know in a weird way that she is okay. With her distancing herself from everyone, it’s hard to know how she’s coping. Even Susan and Pete can’t get anything out of her.”

  “Well it’s a good job we are just friends; it doesn’t sound like she would be our biggest fan if it was more than that,” he says this, smiling, I see something flash in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can work it out.

  “Come on, let’s get up and have breakfast on that amazing balcony.” I go to move, but his arm around me tightens slightly.

  “Thank you for everything, Molly. I really mean it.” he says, so sincerely it makes my heart hurt. But then I see the corner of his lips twitch as he says, “The view from the balcony is pretty good, but I’m not sure it can beat the one I’ve got right now!” He looks down at my tits as he says this, with a suggestive smirk on his face.

  I look down and realise what he means. I am unknowingly giving him a great eyeful. I put my hand over my chest and jump out of his hold and off the bed, scowling at him.

  He puts his hands up in defeat. “I only looked once, I promise,” he says, still smiling.

  I bend down to pick up my phone that must have slid off the bed when he came in. “Oh come on, you are not playing fair.” I thought I heard him get off the bed and go out, but I look back to see him sat on the edge, looking over and staring at my arse. I can’t help but notice the obvious bulge in his boxers. Butterflies erupt in my belly at the thought of being able to affect him so easily.

  “Do you want me to ring Emma back and tell her you’ve been checking me out so she can start screaming at you?” I ask as I leave the bedroom.

  “Oh, come on.” I hear him shout. “Don’t even pretend you didn’t get a good look this morning, or from the hot tub last night, or when you came in Saturday evening.” I can hear him chuckling to himself as he starts walking into the living room, but stops to grab a pair of shorts to cover himself up.

  “So, about that dream yesterday morning?” I deadpan.

  “Touché. Right, what’s for breakfast, bitch?”

  We spend what little is left of the morning sat on the balcony eating fresh fruit, granola and yoghurt. We must have fallen back to sleep for longer than I thought. I feel better for it, though.

  “Right, today is the only day I’m not going to work, because we are celebrating. So, what’s the plan?” I ask Ryan while we tidy up.

  “Let’s just chill out here, stick on some of that God-awful music Hannah was so obsessed with, and hit the sun loungers.”

  “Ew, what an awful plan,” I say, laughing as I wander through the hut to go put on today’s bikini. “I’ll meet you out there. You know the playlist we need on my phone.”

  I’m just putting my hair up out of the way when I hear the music start filling the hut, and it makes me smile. I grab my Kindle and suntan lotion before heading out to the balcony.

  I walk out to see Ryan sat on a lounger with his aviators on, sipping a glass of water. I can’t help but drop my gaze to check him out; he looks like a bloody model, laid there wearing black shorts with the waist band of his boxers poking out. I’m not sure if it’s pleasure or torture having to look at him!

  I can’t see his eyes, but I can tell they are roaming over my body. I feel my skin heat under his scrutiny.

  I went with a navy and white striped nautical look bikini today. I can’t wear the little string bikinis that others do; I need more support than that, so I have to go for the bra style tops to keep everything in place and under control. Having said that, this one in particular does good things for my cleavage.

  “You need to stop doing that,” I tell him seriously.

  “What, it’s not like I’m going to throw you down and have my wicked way with you. I’m mere
ly just appreciating the female form in all its glory.” I feel tingles head south in my body at the image his words create in my head. “Anyway, you’re not my type.” And, they’re gone.

  I don’t know why hearing this makes my steps falter a little. I should be happy about this, right? I don’t want him looking at me that way, and I definitely don’t want to be having the feelings I have been having about him.

  “Yeah, I guess not, I’ve got more curves than all the girls you’ve been with put together.” Hannah was a gorgeous slim tall build. She wasn’t quite straight up and down, she had a cute, pert arse and I guess you could say her breasts were a small handful. She also had stunning golden blonde long hair and striking blue eyes. I’ve seen photos of the girls Ryan dated previously, and they pretty much looked the same. I am the complete opposite with my rounded arse and hips, tiny waist and double D’s up top. Hannah was almost always quiet, polite and well-spoken, which is something Ryan often complimented about her; I, on the other hand, say it like it is, and swear like a trooper.

  I feel my shoulders slouch as I stand in front of him. I hand him the bottle I’m holding and turn around. I must look defeated as I do it, because he leans into my ear and whispers, “You’re gorgeous Molly. Don’t even think for a second I was suggesting you’re not. Your curves are so fucking sexy.”

  His words and the feel of his hands skimming down my sides lightly as he rubs in the suntan lotion makes my knees slightly weak. The tingles return and start to descend south of my stomach. A man has never affected me like this. I’ve never felt this incredible pull before. I used to thrive on the feeling of men wanting me, but I have never desperately wanted them. Sex for me has always been about being wanted, not because I had to have it right then and there and actually get pleasure from it.

  I clear my throat. “T-T-Thank you.” Even to my ears, my voice sounds rough as I quickly scurry away from his hands and on to the outside sofa. I lie down on my stomach and keep my face away from him. Why has it got to be him causing these feelings in me? We’ve known each other for years and been as close as two friends can get over the last six months without me feeling like this, but a few days of living with him, and he’s turned me into a frustrated sexual mess. I squeeze my thighs together to try to dull the ache, and chant in my head that he’s my friend. I can’t imagine Hannah would be too pleased about my feelings towards her boyfriend. This thought causes a tear to run down my cheek.

  “Molls, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, fine. You?” I sound anything other than fine, and he knows me well enough to know that. I need to change the subject and distract myself.

  “Uh huh, yep, I’m good.”

  “Hey, do you remember that night we all went bowling?” I hear him start laughing and I turn to look at him.

  That did it. We spend the next few hours reminiscing about our memories from university and the following couple years with us working. We had some great times together, and Ryan was right - those times need celebrating. I tell him stories about us growing up and from school, some of which he had heard before, some he hadn’t. He was holding his belly he was laughing so hard when I told him about a school nativity one year where the three of us were angels; only Hannah had to speak, and it was one short line. When it came to her time, she was so nervous she wet herself on stage and ran off crying. Apparently, she had refused to ever tell him the story, and threatened Emma’s life if she told him. It was really nice to have us both laughing so hard on what could have been a really sad day.

  “Tell me about the first time you met,” Ryan says, after a few minutes of silence between us.

  “Well, we knew each other before my first memory because we lived next door to each other, and Susan and Pete often babysat for me when my parents got bored of me. But my first solid memory is from primary school. We must have been four or five. We went over to get our coats and snacks for break time, and someone had put my lunchbox on a shelf that I couldn’t reach. This boy Ben came over and said he would get it down for me if I kissed him. I didn’t like that, so I shoved my knee straight between his legs and watched him fall to the ground in pain.” I see Ryan flinch when I tell him that, and it makes me laugh. “When I looked up from him rolling around crying, I saw that Hannah was stood behind him and had a big smile on her face. She must have seen the whole thing. She reached up and grabbed my lunchbox easily; she was really tall even then. After that, we spent every day together. We bonded over poor Ben’s pain!” I shrug my shoulders like it’s a normal thing to do.

  “Wow, you were feisty even then,” he says laughing. “What happened to Ben?”

  “Um, well. That didn’t put him off; he continued chasing me for that kiss. Eventually, he won, and I lost my virginity to him ten years later at a friend’s party. He turned out to be gay in the end, though!”

  “Well, I didn’t see that coming.” Ryan sounds slightly shocked by my honesty.

  “It wasn’t worth the long wait!”

  “You lost your virginity at fourteen?” he asks, still sounding a little shocked.

  “Yeah, unfortunately. I totally regret it, but to be honest if I’d waited until I found someone special like everyone says to, then I’d still be a virgin now!”

  “That wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Molls. It would mean you wouldn’t have had to deal with any of the arseholes you’ve chosen in the past few years.”

  “True. It’s not like I’ve had years of awesome sex to make up for them, either. They were all as bad in bed as their personalities.”

  “I knew it, and please tell me they all had little dicks as well?”

  “Um…not all of them, but as the saying goes: it’s not about the size, it’s what you do with it. Well, big or small, the selfish arseholes didn’t know what to do with it!”

  “Although I never understood why you got with so many different guys when you could have found a nice one to settle down with, I still had the idea in my head that you were having fun doing it, but you’ve just ruined that for me. So, if you weren’t enjoying it, why were you doing it?”

  Oh, I’ve done it now. He warned me he wanted to know about my parents but I was hoping to put it off longer than this.

  “It’s like I said the other night: my parents were pretty shit. They never wanted me. I learnt from a young age that if you take antibiotics whilst on the pill, they stop it working effectively, so here I am. My parents had already had the two boys that they wanted. Steven was fourteen and Daniel was twelve by the time I was born.

  “It was all planned out how they would take over and expand the family business. They decided that I, on the other hand, would grow up, be just like my mum, and provide them with some grandchildren. They decided not to pay for me to go to private school like my brothers, so I went to the local secondary with Hannah and Emma. It was a great school, so I can’t complain; it’s just the unfairness of it all that pisses me off. Apparently, because I had a vagina I didn’t deserve a top-level education, and I was no use in the family business other than the receptionist they planned to make me when I was sixteen until I could pop out some grandchildren for my mum to coo over, show off, then give back the minute they start to cry.

  “I had different ideas, though. I wanted a career, and I had no intention of ever joining the family business in any capacity. I wanted to be my own person. My parents told me I was not going to sixth form and that I would work for them. I told them that wasn’t happening, and that I’d move out if needs be to enable me to live my own life. Eventually they came around to the idea of me staying, but they cut me off. The allowance I used to get was put into a trust fund that I couldn’t get until I was twenty-one. I’m sure they only did it to try to stop me going to university.”

  “So you started working at Cocoa’s?”

  “Yep, I went straight over to Susan and asked for a job. I started there that weekend and have worked there ever since. I owe that family so much. I wouldn’t have got where I have without their love and support.”


  “You and me both.” I know Ryan understands, because they have treated him like their own son as well.

  “So, I spent my two years at sixth form juggling school work and fitting in as many hours as possible. I was desperate to go to university/ I managed to keep my grades up so I knew I had a good chance of getting in, but the money was an issue. I knew I would never get any loans or anything with my parents’ finances as they were.”

  “How did you manage it?”

  “I applied for every kind of funding there was, and I did manage to get a little bit, but not enough. One day I got a phone call from my gran, my dad’s mum; she asked to see me. I loved my gran. I used to spend all my holidays with her when I was younger. She taught me how to cook. We used to spend our days baking all sorts.”

  “I’ve always wondered who taught you to cook. I love your gran too, then, because you are an awesome cook.”

  “Thank you. When I arrived, she got really upset. Apparently, she had spoken to my dad on the phone the day before, and when she asked how I was, he told her about my crazy plan to go to university and how he just didn’t understand it. He explained that they were refusing to pay for me to go because it was a waste of money and how he knew I’d never get any help. So, she handed me a cheque. She had found out how much tuition fees and students loans were, and she gave it all to me. I was so shocked. Obviously I knew they had done well out of the business before my grandad retired and handed it down, but I presumed they would have the same opinion as my parents. She told me that when she was younger she didn’t have a choice about her future because of her parents. She said she didn’t regret anything because she loved my grandad, all her children and grandchildren, but it wasn’t what she would have chosen and she wanted me to be happy.” I feel the tears start falling now. “She died of a heart attack two months later. I was devastated, but determined to make her proud. So here I am, still working at Cocoa’s because I love it, but with my own business that has nothing to do with my family.”