“As for Emma, well…we all know how much she has struggled - is still struggling - with losing Hannah. She isn’t as strong as you and Ryan, but she will get there and when she does, she will see that what is happening between the two of you is okay. She just needs time. I can’t say how much; it might be a lot, but we have to let her heal in her own time.
“I do think that Ryan probably was trying to protect you last night, even if it was a little misguided, but I also think he was probably jealous. You go out with two different guys two nights on the trot. Yes, I know you work with one, but he didn’t know that at the time. He was fighting for what he wants. Did he go the wrong way about it? Yes, definitely, but he probably panicked that he was losing you. I would also hazard a guess that you having a date and moving on was the reason for his drinking and avoiding you. It probably hurt him.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of information to take on board at once.” I grab my tea and sip slowly while I think about everything she said.
“So you don’t have the same opinion about me and Ryan that Emma does. What about Pete, Lilly and Dec?” I ask.
“At the end of the day, angel, we all want you both to be happy, and if that means you are together, then that’s okay. And if that does happen in the future, Emma will come around eventually.”
“Right. One of the major reasons I decided to stay just friends with Ryan and not act on my feelings was the fear of losing you all. You’re my family and having you is more important than anything to me.” Susan comes close and puts her arm around my shoulders.
“Do what makes you happy, Molly. We will always support you one hundred per cent. Like I said, we just want you to be happy.”
“I still don’t think I can risk our friendship. I mean, look how one little disagreement has turned out. I can’t imagine how I would cope if we got together then broke up, and I lost him for good. I just couldn’t do it. It’s bad enough now - I’m really angry with him, but I know I will get over it and we will make up, but if something happened that was irreversible…” I shake my head thinking about it, “it’s just too big a risk.”
“If that is how you really feel, then it’s not the right time for the two of you. Just take every day as it comes. Things will work themselves out between you. I do think you need to go home and talk to him though.”
“I know, and I will soon; it’s just still a little raw, you know?”
“Yes. Believe it or not, Pete and I have had our fair share of tiffs, but we always get over the anger and make up - and you two will, too.” With that said, she pats me on the leg and stands up. “Right, I’ve said what I needed to. I’m going to let you get an early night. You look exhausted.”
“Thank you, Susan. I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear what you just told me.”
“You are more than welcome, angel. I’m here anytime you need me, you know that.” She gives me a tight squeeze and leaves.
I do as I’m told and have an early night. For the first time in days, I fall fast asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow - or arm rest, in this case.
Ryan
I’ve been sitting for hours staring at my phone, hoping I would get something else from Molly, but nothing so far. I decide to go to bed early and try to catch up on some sleep. I just drift off when I’m woken by banging coming from downstairs. I fly out of bed and down the stairs, because in my sleep-induced haze I think it could be Molly. When I wake up enough to know it’s the front door being hammered on, I realise it isn’t going to be her because she has a key and would just let herself in.
I must look really disappointed when I open the door and see Susan, because she takes one look at me and pulls me into her arms for a hug.
“Oh angel, you were hoping it was Molly, weren’t you?” she says quietly to me while she comforts me.
“Am I that obvious?”
“You have no idea. Come on, invite me up. I’m dying for a cup of tea; it’s been a long day.”
“Sorry, yeah, come on in. I’ll just go grab a t-shirt.” I follow Susan up the stairs but go to carry on to my bedroom when she goes to the living room.
“That’s a shame, I’m starting to understand what my girls see in you,” she says with a cheeky smile.
“Um…thanks?” I don’t know what to say to that. I can hear her laughing though and it makes me smile.
“You don’t need to sound so freaked out, Ryan. I was trying to lighten the mood,” she says, still laughing.
When I get back to the living room, I see that Susan has already made a start on the tea.
“So, without meaning to sound rude, what are you doing here? I mean ,I’ve already seen you once today.”
“I’ve just been to see Molly,” she looks up from making the tea to see my reaction, although I’m not sure why. “She told me everything you were avoiding telling me earlier.”
“Right,” I should have seen this coming really, after I refused to open up.
“I’ve given her my advice on the situation between the two of you; now I’m here to do the same with you.”
Susan stayed for about an hour while we talked through everything. She told me very briefly what Molly said to her about not wanting to ruin our relationship, but she refused to go into detail because it was for Molly to tell me really. I explained to her how I was starting to feel strongly enough about Molly to give us a try. Then I admitted something I hadn’t realised before. I told Susan that I was in love with Molly. She took this better than I did; I turned into a blubbering mess and apologised to Susan and Hannah for falling in love again so soon, while Susan rocked me in her arms, telling me it was okay.
Susan’s advice was to bide my time with Molly; that she really did like me but needed time to process it. She told me to make sure I showed Molly as often as I could how much she meant to me, and how good we could be.
I’m now lying in bed, thinking about everything. “I’m in love with Molly. Shit, when did that happen?” I tell myself I will do everything in my power to show her how serious I am. I fall asleep happy for the first time in a while, thanks to Susan. She really is an amazing woman.
I wake up late the next morning after a long, deep sleep, feeling refreshed. I get up and head to the gym.
It’s when I’m running on the machine that I realise what I need to do. I hang around the gym until I know she will be home from work, then head over to the Morrisons’ house. Someone must be looking down on me and smiling today, because Emma’s car is on the drive, which is an unusual sight these days. I let myself in and head for the kitchen, where I know everyone will be. It’s just Susan and Emma in the room and their heads snap up from the tablet they are looking at.
“Hey,” I say, walking over to kiss Susan on the cheek. “I don’t know if I said it last night, but thank you.”
“My pleasure, angel. I’m glad you are feeling better.”
“Emma, could we talk, please?” I look to her and see the surprise settle on her face.
“I’ll leave you both to it,” Susan says, scuttling out of the room.
“Um…what’s up, Ryan?”
“I need to talk to you - be honest with you - and I need you to listen to me. Can you do that without going off on me?” I say, gently.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Right, here goes…I know you are under the impression that there is something going on with Molly and me,” I see her open her mouth to interrupt me, “Ah, you said you would listen.” She closes her mouth and nods. “Well, there isn’t anything going on. Yes, we have become really close over the last six months, but it was a completely platonic relationship until she moved in. Something changed then, though. I don’t know what it was; I can’t explain it, but there has been this amazing chemistry between us. It scared the shit out if me at first to be honest. Molly is my best friend. She has supported me through the worst time of my life, and there I was getting turned on by her doing the simplest things,” I watch as Emma screws her face up in disgust.
&nbs
p; “I said I’d listen, but please spare me the details.”
“Sorry. We have had a few close calls, but we both agreed that our friendship is too important to us, and we don’t want to ruin that by doing anything. Somewhere along the line, though, my feelings for her increased, and I got to the point where I think what we could have together would be worth the risk. She doesn’t agree, and has started dating again instead, which has led me to act like a jealous dickhead.
“The thing is, Emma…I want you to know that…I am in love with Molly. No, I didn’t ask for it to happen, and I know it’s soon after Hannah. I do know that, but it just sorta happened. I want you to know that she will never replace Hannah. She will always have a piece of my heart, always. But it’s time for me to move on. I know this is hard for you to hear, but I wanted it to be from me.”
I look up to see Emma with tears streaming down her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to upset you, I just wanted you to know everything. You actually know more than Molly does. I haven’t told her any of this, and there is a chance that if she doesn’t give us a go, then she’ll will never know, and I’m okay with that, I think. If she doesn’t think it’s right, then so be it.
“You should know that every time something has nearly happened between us, you’re the one who has stopped her. I know you think that we don’t care about what you think, but that is not true. Molly is really scared of losing you as a friend, Emma, and she misses you terribly.”
“Wow,” she says, wiping her face with the backs of her hands. “I had no idea you were in love with her.”
“No, nor did I, until I spoke to your mum yesterday and she made me realise.”
“Thank you for coming and being honest with me, Ryan, I really appreciate that. I know I haven’t been the easiest person to deal with since the accident, but I am really trying to move on. It’s just so damn hard. I still don’t really know how I feel about the two of you, but just know that whatever happens, I’ll be there for both of you. You are both family to me, and I don’t want to lose you guys either. Just be warned - if you get together, it may take me some time to come to terms with it. Hannah was my other half after all, but I know she would want you to move on and be happy, so I need to let that happen.”
I pull her into my arms as she is now sobbing uncontrollably. We sit there holding each other for ages before she calms down.
“Thank you, Emma. If you don’t mind, can I suggest something?” She quirks an eyebrow at me. “Could you get in touch with Molly? She really does miss you, and maybe if a conversation about me comes up, you could tell her what you just told me.”
“Of course. I don’t want to hurt her and I miss her too.”
After chatting about more general things for a while, the rest of the Morrisons congregate in the kitchen and Susan starts dinner. I end up eating with them again before saying my goodbyes and heading home. The whole drive home, I’m praying that Molly will have come back.
I let out a huge sigh of relief when I turn the corner and see her little Ford outside the house. I feel a wide smile spread across my face; unfortunately, it doesn’t last very long.
I reach into my pocket when my phone starts ringing. I see my mum’s name on the screen, press answer, and put it to my ear.
“Mum, what’s wrong?” I can hear her sobbing into the phone.
“I-it’s your g-grandad. H-he’s d-died,” she manages to get out.
“Shit, how’s Dad?”
“A mess, Ryan. I’m sorry, but we need you up here.”
“Of course. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Look after each other and I’ll be there soon. I love you.”
“Love you too, son. B-bye.
I rest my head back on the headrest and process what Mum just told me.
“Fuuuuck,” I shout, and slam my palms down on the steering wheel.
I jump out the car and go running into the house. I head straight for Molly’s room, her door is open but she’s not there. I turn to leave when I see the bathroom door is shut.
I knock, “Molly, are you in there?”
Chapter Fourteen
Molly
I’ve spent the last two nights sleeping on the sofa at the office, then I put myself through two hours of flinging my body around a pole with Megan. Whoever said pole dancing was hard work underestimated it massively. That said, though, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard I thought I was going to piss myself.
It turns out Megan is pretty good at holding her body weight up on a pole. I, on the other hand, spent longer on my arse than hanging from the pole. I was undecided as to whether to go home tonight or not earlier, but after those torturous two hours, my roll top bath was calling, so I bit the bullet and went home. Ryan wasn’t there; I guess he was still on his binge-drinking episode.
I am now laid out in the hot bath full of bubbles, soothing my aching muscles. All of a sudden I hear the front door bang shut, then a couple of seconds later I hear a soft knock on the bathroom door.
“Molly, are you in there?” Wow, he didn’t waste any time coming to find me.
“Molly?” his voice comes out as a desperate plea.
“Yes, I’m in here. What do you want? I’m in the bath,” I don’t mean to sound grumpy, but he’s ruining my relaxation.
“Molly, please can I come in?”
“Are you serious?” I ask, starting to get pissed off.
“Molly, my grandad has died. Please.” I hear a thud on the door and can only imagine it was his head.
“Shit,” I quickly look down to make sure I’m covered in bubbles before I reply. “Yes, yes, come in.”
I watch as the door opens and a very distraught looking Ryan walks in and sits himself on the closed toilet at the end of the bath. He slumps his body forward and puts his head in his hands.
“I’m so sorry Ry. I know how much your grandad meant to you.”
Ryan has told me countless times about how it was his grandad that got him into all sorts of sports. He used to spend all his weekends and holidays with him, watching whatever was on the TV at the time, and his grandad would explain the rules of each sport to him. When he got old enough to start playing all the different sports, his grandad was Ryan’s biggest supporter. He was always at the side of the football and rugby pitches, in the stands of the cricket ground - just to name a few. I can only imagine how he must be feeling now.
I move myself in the bath so I’m on my stomach with my head at the end. Ryan is sat so I can reach out to comfort him; he’s away with the fairies so I don’t need to worry about flashing him. I place my soggy hand on his forearm, which makes him turn his head to look at me. My breath catches slightly at the pain I see in his eyes. After Hannah died, I hoped I wouldn’t ever have to see that look in his eyes again, but there it is.
“I’m so sorry for everything, Molly. I was an idiot. I’m so glad you’re back.”
“Indeed you were, and I’m sorry too. Even if I wasn’t back, you could have come to me. I’m always here for you if you need me.”
“Please will you come to Liverpool with me? I promised Mum I’d get up there as soon as I could.”
“Er, your parents aren’t going to be happy about me being with you. Are you sure you don’t just want to go on your own?”
“No, I need you with me. Please, Molly. My parents will be too distracted by what’s going on to notice you.” His eyes are begging for me to agree.
“Okay, Ryan. I’ll do it for you. I’ll get out now and pack some stuff. You go and do the same.”
He nods and gets up to leave, but stops at the door. “You know, if there was one way to soften the blow of this news, it’s coming in to find you naked and wet.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “And there I was thinking you were too distraught to notice. I really should know better.”
“I’m never too distracted when it comes to you,” he says, then immediately leaves the room, and I hear him head upstairs.
I try not to
think about his comment as I get myself ready to leave.
A few hours later and we are pulling on to Ryan’s parents’ drive in Liverpool. After a long argument, I eventually persuaded Ryan to let me drive. I didn’t really feel like he was in any fit state so I put my foot down firmly – that, and I hid his keys!
His mum comes to the door to meet him. I watch as Ryan engulfs her in a hug when he gets to her. I can tell by the movement in her shoulders that she is crying. I stay sat in the car and give them a moment.
Eventually, she moves away and gestures for him to follow her inside. He puts his hand up to me and waves me in. I quickly exit the car and follow behind them into the house. I watch Mrs. Evans and Ryan turn into the living room to join his dad. I stay in the doorway, slightly out of sight, to give the family some space. I hear some banging coming from the kitchen so head down there in the hope that Abbi and Liv are already here. I’m really pleased when I see both of them stood over the kettle, making a pot of tea.
“Hello. How are you both holding up?” I ask when they spot me coming towards them.
“Molly, we didn’t know you were coming,” they both say and give me quick hugs. “Yeah, you know. We weren’t as close to Grandad as Ryan, being girls and all, but it’s still sad,” Liv answers.
“I know. He’s really upset. He didn’t need this after everything else that has happened this year. Your mum seems pretty upset too, but how’s your dad doing?”
Although Ryan’s mum and dad have shown their disapproval of me over the years, I actually think they are quite nice people from the stories I’ve heard, so I do always try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Every time I’ve met them in the past though, his mum has proved that not to be the case within a few minutes of seeing me.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 16