Eventually, he manages to pry my hands away from my face so he can look at me. I see the lines of worry etched into his face with the one eye I can open. He looks distraught. As he should, I guess.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, so sorry. I didn’t know, I’m so sorry. I would never…” he tails off as he places soft kisses around my eye and down my cheek, while he gently wipes my tears away. Once he’s finished, he wraps the bag of peas in a t-shirt he has lying on the floor, and gently presses it to my eye. I can only guess from how big it feels and from his reaction that it’s pretty bad. I’ve never had anything to do with fights, and I’ve never been hit, other than by Hannah when we were kids, so I don’t really know what to expect.
Ruben sits us back against his headboard and continues to hold me tightly to him. Neither of us says anything for the longest time. Even though it feels like my face is broken, I find it oddly soothing to be in his arms and plastered against his naked chest. The only time either of us moves is when he leans forward slightly to kiss my head or to rub his hand down my arm in comfort.
There is more shouting and screaming going on downstairs, but Ruben must block it out just like I do, and eventually I feel his heart rate start to slow and his body start to relax as the fight leaves him.
“Are you okay?” I eventually whisper. He hasn’t moved for a while, and I wonder if he’s fallen asleep.
“Shhh,” he whispers back. “Don’t worry about me. Are you okay?”
I look up at him and take in his swollen eye and cut lip. I reach up to wipe the little stream of blood that is running down his chin, making him wince. “Sorry.”
I’m not entirely sure why I do what I do next. I guess it’s concussion or something, but I turn myself so that I am sat astride Ruben’s lap. His hands come to rest high up on my thighs and I grab one at a time to inspect the damage. Both are covered in dried blood and are red and swollen. I lift each one gently up to my lips and press a light kiss to each, just like he did to my eye. He watches me intently as I do this, and once I’ve finished, I hold his eye contact. My heart, that has only just begun to slow its pace thanks to the adrenalin pumping around my body, picks up speed again the longer we sit and stare at each other.
I hate to say it, but he only looks hotter with a busted up face, whereas I dread to think what I currently look like with a bag of peas attached to one side of mine. I carefully remove the bag of peas, which makes me wince, and him to look like he is about to apologise again, but I stop him in his tracks by placing it over his swollen eye. His hand comes up to cover mine where I’m holding it in place on his face, and we continue to sit deadly still.
I feel myself lean towards him and before I know it, I’ve got my lips next to his cut lip. I feel him suck in a breath at my contact, but other than that, we just stay connected.
I pull back a couple of seconds later, “Thank you for looking after me,” I whisper.
He sits himself forward slightly and moves his hands so they cup my cheeks. He’s careful not to touch my eye, though. “Always,” he states. “But you shouldn’t have needed looking after. I’m sorry.” The apology is said so quietly that I practically have to lip-read it. He shifts a little closer again, before pressing his lips directly to mine. My heartbeat picks up pace again and I feel myself start to sweat as panic washes over me.
I’m both relieved and disappointed when he pulls back and looks at me again. “Promise me something,” he says, leaning back. I nod at him so he continues. “Don’t go anywhere. I need to have a shower. I stink and I’m covered in blood. But please don’t go.” He moves his hand around the back of my neck and slides his fingers into my hair. He gives me a gently nudge until I nod, agreeing that I will wait. He continues to stare at me a little longer, but what he sees obviously makes him happy, because he soon lifts me off him and places me down on his bed.
When he’s standing, he leans back over me again and presses his lips to mine in the gentlest of kisses before standing and beginning to head towards the en suite. He pauses before he gets to the door, and I think he is going to say something further, but instead he just looks over his shoulder at me and gives me a heart stopping smile. Then, as if I haven’t had enough shocks already today, he shoves his thumbs in the waistbands of his shorts and boxers, pushes them down and steps out, giving me an incredible view of his backside and thighs before continuing, slowly, into the en suite.
I smile to myself, knowing that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows his assets, and he’s using them to his advantage.
My smile falters somewhat when I think that if I was more like the outgoing person that I want to be, if I was like Molly or Connie, then I would have the confidence to strip off and follow him in there. But that isn’t who I am, and the mere thought of doing that has me on the edge of a panic attack. That is the kind of woman Ruben deserves though, someone who is confident and knows how to use their body to their advantage, just like he did to me.
I’m up off the bed instantly, and in a split second I am charging down the stairs. I grab my keys and pull my shoes on, before running for the front door. Connie and Fin are somewhere down here, but they don’t notice me, because they are still too busy arguing about something.
My eye pounds as I run. Every time my feet hit the pavement, it’s like Ruben’s elbow is connecting with my face again and again. I clutch the bag of peas to my face, willing them to make a difference. I would walk, but I know that he’ll be after me the minute he realises that I’ve gone, and I want to get home and lock myself in.
Ruben
I walk into the en suite, smiling to myself. I know I should be anything but happy with everything that has happened, but Emma kissed me. She kissed me! Okay, so it was the sweetest, most innocent kiss I think I have received in my life, but it was a kiss.
God, I feel like a pansy! I might as well just hand my balls over to her now.
I knew I might have been pushing it a little with the kissing but I couldn’t help it; to see her in so much pain because of me was pure hell. I would have done anything I could to make it better, to ease her pain.
I was raging when I heard his voice boom through our house. A place that his voice doesn’t belong, ever. I just lost my shit. I know my behaviour was totally unforgivable and utterly hypocritical, but I just saw red at the thought of Elliot preying on my sister the minute I left for Australia. The thought of him having his greasy, scumbag hands on her. Urgh, even the thought makes me want to go and find him and start round two. Absolute arsehole.
I know it takes two to tango, and believe me, I’m almost as pissed off with Connie as I am with Elliot. I mean, what was she thinking? She knows about all the shit that has gone down between us over the years. Why the fuck would she go there, and did she really think that I would never find out? She was fucking him in the house we share, for fuck’s sake. Did she think it would all be okay if we happened to bump into each other having breakfast one morning?
I don’t even know what to say to her right now. I think her best bet is to steer well clear of me until I have properly calmed down. Fin can deal with her; I know he’s just as pissed off with her, if their shouting is anything to go by.
I step under hot spray and let it soothe my muscles. My whole body is tense and ready to fight. Emma helped calm me, but now I’ve stepped away from her and thought about the situation, I can feel myself getting het up again.
I miss her. I only left her a few seconds ago, and she is sat through there on my bed. How I wish she were in here with me, though. The thought of turning around in the shower to find her standing there, naked and ready to join me, has my dick throbbing for her. I know that isn’t who she is, though, and I wouldn’t change her for the world. I just hope that I get the chance to make her see how sexy she is and to encourage her to be confident in her own skin, so she could do things like that with me. Only with me, though.
I make quick work of washing before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my waist. I ignore my hard on.
Emma is so close that the only person I want touching it is her, even though I know the chance of that happening is slim to none.
I walk out of the en suite to find what I feared.
She’s gone.
I throw on the first clothes I find and rush out of the house.
“Ru, where are you going? Where’s Emma?” Connie shouts after me from her seat on the sofa. Fin is sat scowling at her while she is sat with her arms curled around herself and tears still streaming down her face.
“Out,” is the only thing I say, because I really don’t want to talk to her and I need to find Emma.
I jump in my car and head in the direction of Emma’s house. I’m presuming she hasn’t gone through the fields to get back to the village, because that is by far the longer route.
A few minutes later, I find that I’m right, when I see her slowly jogging in the direction of her house. I pull up next to her and wind down the window. “Emma, get in.”
“No,” she says defiantly, with her chin raised in the air.
“Emma,” I warn. “Get in the car.”
She ignores me completely this time, and picks up her pace. I pull up at the curb a little ahead of her, get out, pick her up, and place her in the passenger seat.
“Get the fuck off me,” she shouts, and goes to get out when I step away.
“Don’t even think about it. I’m taking you home,” I state, before slamming the door. I jog around to the driver’s side, praying she stays put and I don’t have to chase her again.
She does as she’s told, though. I guess she’s too exhausted to fight.
We drive the rest of the way to her house in silence. She is pouting next to me with her arms folded across her chest, showing me that she has completely closed herself off to me. It hurts after what happened between us earlier that she can build her walls back up again and push me away so quickly. She’s going to have to realise at some point that I am just going to keep pushing back, harder and more insistent, until she breaks.
I pull up on her drive and we both continue to sit for a while in silence, staring at the rose beds outside her cottage.
“Why did you run?” I eventually ask.
“I can’t do this,” is her only response.
“Can’t do what?”
“This. All of this,” she says, waving her arms around. “I am not who you think I am. I’m not what you want, or what you need. Just leave me be, and get on with your life. Carry on with bringing random girls home from clubs and whoring yourself out around the village. That is who you are, and I don’t fit in to that. I’m done.”
I’d almost believe her if her words didn’t crack at the end. I ignore her spiteful comments about me, because, well…let’s face it, they’re true.
I jump out the car and follow her to her door, “Emma, please wait.”
I hear her sob before she looks back at me with tears running down her face. “No. Just leave, Ruben.” I’m stopped in my tracks by the look on her face, and she takes the opportunity to get inside and lock the door behind her.
I hammer on the door for a good twenty minutes before it’s clear that she meant what she said. So, with my head hung, I trudge back to my car. I sit there for a while, just looking at her house, hoping I’ll see her at the window, showing me that she didn’t actually mean what she just said, but there is no movement from inside. Eventually, I reverse off her drive and head home.
I decide to drive about for a bit as I don’t feel in any state to deal with Connie, or even Fin, for that matter. When I enter, the house it is completely quiet. If it weren’t for their cars outside, I would think they’d gone out. The kitchen is in the same mess as when I left it, with blood splattered up the wall, reminding me of what happened not so long ago, even though it feels like hours.
The minute I step foot in the living room, though, my earlier anger resurfaces. Both Connie and Fin are laid out on the sofa. He has her tightly curled to his chest, spooning her. Usually, this wouldn’t bother me as much as it does right now, if they were fully dressed, but Fin is still topless and Connie is still wearing that fucking see though t-shirt that is now hitched up around her waist, showing off the tiny bit of elastic she calls underwear, and Fin’s hand has disappeared under it.
I don’t know what is wrong with me today, but I storm over and pull Connie out of his arms and push her on to the other sofa.
“Ruben, what the fuck are you doing?” she screams.
“Shut up, Con. You’ve already done enough.” I tell her in an eerily calm voice. Fin, on the other hand, I bellow at, full volume. “Get the fuck out, right now.”
“What the fuck, dude?” he says coming round from his sleep.
“Get. Out,” I repeat.
“We were just asleep, man. Chill the fuck out.”
“I saw exactly what you were doing. Now. Get. Out.”
He eventually gets the hint, gets up from the sofa, giving Connie a sympathetic look, and leaving the room, swiftly followed by the house.
I wait a beat before turning around to face Connie.
“Oh no you don’t. Do not give me that face,” she says, standing up to face me. “I am an adult. I make my own choices, and I do not need you fighting my battles for me.” She goes to leave the room, but turns back at the last minute. “The kitchen is a shithole. I suggest you clean it up. And while I’m at it, can I also suggest you start apologising to everyone you’ve hurt today? I’m having a bath. Do not interrupt me,” she seethes before leaving the room.
I do as she suggested and set about cleaning the kitchen. The blood is a bitch to get off the matte paint on the wall, and takes me way longer than I expected. I organise for a huge bunch of flowers to be delivered to Emma tomorrow, as the texts and phone calls go unanswered, not that I’m surprised. I smooth things over with Fin and thank him for having my back earlier with Elliot. Men are easy to deal with. We apologise and move on. Women, on the other hand, are a completely different ball game. They are stubborn fuckers, and make you work for forgiveness.
I start off with a peace offering. I knock gently on the bathroom door, as I don’t really know what to expect.
“What?” she snaps.
“I brought you wine.”
“And a big fat apology?”
“Yes.”
“Good, come in then. But you should know it’s only because I want the wine.”
I go in, place her wine on the side of the bath, kiss her forehead, and take a seat on the closed toilet lid.
By the time I leave the bathroom, we have talked it all through, and I think we are okay again. Well, that’s not entirely true, I’m still mortified about the fact that she’s been sleeping with Elliot, but what can I do about it now?
Chapter Six
Emma
As soon as I deadlock the door, I’m bolting up the stairs, throwing on my pyjamas and diving into my bed. I have no idea what the time is, but I just want to disappear, and sleeping is the only way I know to make that happen. The banging on my door goes on forever before he gives up and leaves. And the crying really starts when I know that he has done what I asked and left me alone. I know I said it, but I only said it because I know it’s the right thing to do, not because it’s what I want. What I want is to be wrapped in his arms again. I’ve never felt so safe and protected as I did with him on his bed. Why did he have to leave me alone so I could think? What would have happened if he had just stayed with me? Now, there’s a question!
My phone ringing wakes me up sometime later. I grab it off the side and see that I’ve missed loads of calls and texts from Ruben over the last two hours, but thankfully it’s Connie’s name that comes up this time.
I answer and convince her that I’m fine, and that she doesn’t need to come round to look after me. She tells me what happened after Ruben disappeared with me, and about him going crazy when he came back. She probes and probes, trying to get me to fully explain what happened with Ruben, and why he came back almost as savage as he was with Elliot
. I don’t think she believes me when I say that I just wanted to be in my own home, but that’s all she is getting out of me.
I get up to get some painkillers for my aching face when I put the phone down, but before I do that, I go into the bathroom to inspect the damage caused to my eye. I’m pleasantly surprised that it’s just red and swollen, but I’m not stupid enough to think that’s how it’s going to stay! When the bruising hits tomorrow, I’m sure it will be really attractive.
After I find some painkillers, I do something really pathetic. Something that, if you asked me a couple of months ago, I would adamantly swear I would never, ever do. But here I am now, having met Ruben with his mysterious eyes and sexy thighs of steel, and I’m another one of those pathetic women that I hate. I find the t-shirt that was wrapped around the peas that I threw on the worktop when I came in, and hold it to my nose to smell. Although cold, it smells just like him, with a hint of aftershave. I quickly shake it out and pull it over my head, before heading back up to bed, wondering what the fuck has possessed my body since meeting Ruben bloody Foster.
I’m wide awake at six the next morning after God knows how many hours’ sleep. To my pure delight, one look in the mirror tells me I was right to think my eye was going to get worse. It’s a lovely shade of red and purple; very attractive.
After making myself a cup of coffee, I curl myself up on my chair and go about editing what I wrote on Saturday. I have to cave to my hated glasses, because there is no way I’m sticking contact lenses in my eye with how swollen it is. Trying to get it out yesterday was a challenge enough.
I’m so engrossed in what I’m doing that I jump out of my skin when my front door gets knocked. I sit stock still for a while, thinking it’s probably Ruben seeing if I will talk to him before work. Predictably, there is another knock, but this time it’s followed by a key in the lock, so I know it can’t be him. I jump up to go and unlock the door from the inside, knowing a key won’t get them very far after locking myself in last night. When I get there and pull the door open, it’s Molly. Only my parents and Molly have a key, and seeing as they are still on holiday, it’s not really a surprise that it’s Molly.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 73