Knowing she had given herself over to me, I decided to take as much as I could. I mean, who knows with Emma - it might take me months to get back in this position with her, so I need to get my fill while I can. Something tells me I’m not going to be forgetting about her anytime soon. Knowing this scares me just as much as it excites me.
I slowly slide my hand back down her stomach and down into her skirt and knickers. The feel of the lace on my knuckles tells me that she is probably wearing a matching set. God, how I’d love to see if I’m right.
I feel a small nest of hair and I can’t help but think what a nice change it is from all the perfectly preened and hairless women I’ve been with in the past. I gently part her and softly touch my fingertip to her little bundle of nerves. I look up, because I’m desperate to see her reaction. She has been so responsive to me so far that I can only imagine how she will react to this. And I’m not disappointed. Her eyes are closed, her cheeks are flushed and she is biting down hard on her bottom lip. The soft purr that comes from her almost makes me lose all control and throw her down on the bed. I need to remind myself that although I want to take as much as I can here, I also don’t want to push her too hard. She isn’t one of those girls. She needs to be treated properly, which is a little of a novelty. Being a gentleman doesn’t come that easily to me.
I continue to tease her gently while I watch her in amazement. I love how she reacts to everything I do. Wow, fuck, hang on. I never say that word when I refer to anything about a woman. The thought makes my movement falter for a few seconds, long enough for her to open her eyes and look down at me. When our eyes lock, it’s like someone has taken a sledgehammer to my chest. Fuck. Me.
I shake the weird thoughts and feelings away as I reach a little further down so I can slide a finger inside her.
“Holy cow,” she mutters, followed by another purr.
I bend my finger up until I hit that spot inside her. I hear her breath catch again and watch her mouth fall open before her pussy clamps my finger with a force I’ve never felt before. Her whole body locks up tight before it starts pulsing with her release. All I can do is watch her in complete amazement. It is by far the sexiest thing I have ever seen. I get completely lost in her.
When she looks like she almost has her breathing back under control, I lean in for another kiss. I pull my finger from her and revel in the little aftershocks I can feel I’m causing in her. I pull my hand free before pulling back from her. I keep eye contact while I lift my hand to my mouth and suck my fingers into my mouth. Holy shit, if that isn’t the sweetest thing I have ever tasted. I knew I wanted a proper taste of her before, but I am now drooling at the thought.
“Emma,” I go to say something, although I have no idea what to say after that, but I’m stopped by the look of horror on her face. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve got to go,” she says in a panic as she starts to sort out her clothing and hides her awesome tits from me.
“Emma,” I warn, “Don’t run.”
“What?” she questions, looking confused. “I’m…uh…not running. I’m meant to be having dinner at a friend’s house. I should be there now; shit.”
I stop her with a hand on her waist before she bolts from the room. “Wait. You’re really not running this time?”
“I…um…I don’t really know what I’m doing, Ruben,” she says, looking flushed and panicked. “Thank you…for…that, but I need to go. Sorry,” she says, looking slightly embarrassed as her eyes drop down to my crotch.
She surprises me by reaching up on her tiptoes and giving me a short but sweet kiss on the lips. By the time I open my eyes, she is already down the stairs and leaving me alone once again. Apart from this time, I am left with a little hope, and not just down right pissed off. I don’t need to mention that I’m even hornier than ever after that. I look down at my cock that is barely being contained by my boxers, and let out a huge sigh. I almost want to apologise to it like it’s a real person. So close, mate, so close!
There is no way we are leaving it like that tonight. I don’t care that she is going out; I will be there waiting for her when she gets back so we can talk. Yeah, yeah, okay, maybe I mean carry on where we left off. I don’t know what has changed for Emma, but I am going to make the most of the opportunity while I can.
Chapter Twelve
Emma
I can still feel the tingles within my body as I pull up at Molly’s place thirty minutes later. I tried to get here as fast as I could, but ended up getting stuck behind a Grandad driver. It’s only now I pull up that I realise I don’t actually remember the majority of the journey. My head was still back in Ruben’s bedroom.
Part of me can’t believe it went that far, but the other part is shouting, At fucking last! And that part is right; it has been a long time coming. I was so angry with him after he was with Danni, but one look at him tonight and all that anger just disappeared. For the first time, I think I really let myself admit how much I liked him. I’ve been telling him to find another woman, but the pain of him actually doing that made me realise how much I didn’t actually mean it. I think I knew that anyway, but it actually happening was like a slap in the face.
Molly is pulling the front door open before I’m out of the car. She has a scowl on her face as I head towards her.
“Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick,” she chastises.
“Sorry, I was-”
“There is something different about you.” I stand there as she runs her eyes all over me. “You little minx, you’re late because you have been with him,” she correctly guesses.
“What…I...uh-”
“Oh, don’t even try to deny it. Your eyes are glassy, your lips are swollen and if I’m not mistaken,” she says, as she reaches out and pulls the neck of my vest down slightly to reveal a very bright love bite. “See. I fucking knew it! Come on,” she says as she grabs my hand. “You need to come and tell me everything.”
“Is that really necessary, Molls?”
“Yep. I haven’t been able to have hot passionate sex for what feels like years with Sprout here in the way, so I’m gonna live vicariously through you.”
I’m relieved to find that it’s only Abbi upstairs, and that Ryan and Jax have gone to the gym. It feels alien enough having this conversation as it is, I really don’t need to have it in front of them as well.
I find it a little odd to say the least that Molly is so excited and so proud of me for having my first orgasm. Both her and Abbi made me explain the whole experience for them, in detail.
“You know, I wouldn’t have minded if you’d cancelled,” Molly says, after asking as many questions as possible about my time with Ruben. “You could have continued what you started.”
“No, it’s fine. I felt kinda awkward afterwards, so it was good to get out of there,” I admit.
“Why was it awkward?”
“Oh good, more questions!” I quip back, earning me two sets of raised eyebrows. “I don’t know, I guess it’s just not what I’m used to. I had no idea what to say to him after that.”
“I doubt he wanted you to say anything, Emma. He probably wanted, and still wants, for that fact, for you to repay the favour. You once again left him high and dry, and probably with the bluest balls known to man.”
“Oh shit.” I never thought about what I was supposed to do next. I wouldn’t even know where to start. Molly and Abbi can both obviously see the panic wash over my face, because they start offering me advice and tips on what to do.
When I eventually leave later that evening, not only do I have the dress that Molly wanted to lend me for Saturday night, but also my head is spinning with all the different things I can do to pleasure Ruben. Some of them are pretty straightforward, I think; others I don’t think I’ll be trying anytime soon.
I’m not surprised to find Ruben sat on the deckchair by my back door when I get home. Something told me that I hadn’t seen the last of him for the night, and I can’t help the butterflie
s that erupt in my stomach at the sight of him in his grey jogging bottoms and fitted white t-shirt. My mouth goes dry as I look at him, so instead of saying something, I have to settle with smiling.
“Hey, babe,” he says, as he gets himself up and walks right up to me before planting a kiss to my lips. When he pulls back, the smile on his face melts my heart.
“I guess you’re coming in, then,” I comment with a laugh.
“Damn right.”
He follows me in after I unlock the door, but as soon as I hear the door shut behind me, I am pulled to the side and pushed up against the kitchen worktop. Ruben’s hands go straight into my hair, and his lips are on mine.
His kiss completely overwhelms and engulfs me. I have no idea how much time passes as we continue to kiss. It’s not until Ruben jumps back, scaring the shit out of me, that we disconnect.
“Fuck, shit! I forgot you’ve got a cat,” he says, while panting and holding his hand to his chest.
I look down to see Kia weaving her way in and out of his legs, purring away gently. After a few more laps, she sits at his feet and looks at him until he leans down and picks her up.
“Introduce me,” he demands, as he looks back at me with a sparkle in his eye.
“Kia, this is Ruben. Ruben this is Kia,” I say with a laugh as I scratch her head, making her purr in his arms. “Dec bought her for me as a house warming present.”
Watching Ruben with the small kitten melts my heart. His hands are almost as big as her whole body. I continue to watch as he tickles her behind her ear. “You go sit down, and I’ll get drinks.” I stand and watch him leave with Kia still in his arms. I can’t help but admire his arse as we walks away. He really is fine, this man. Thoughts of what the hell he is doing here with me re-enter my head, but I manage to push my insecurities away while I pour us both a glass of water. I’m sure he’d prefer alcohol of some sorts, but I don’t have any in the house. In the long run, this could be a good thing, because God knows what would happen if I got even slightly tipsy with him around, especially after what happened earlier.
When I enter the room, I’m still filled with warm fuzzies as I watch Ruben throw a little fluffy mouse for Kia. He looks up at me when I place the drinks down on the coffee table.
“She knows she’s a cat, not a dog, right?” he asks, as Kia comes back over and drops the mouse down by his feet.
“No, I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s a dog!”
She eventually wears herself out and curls up on the top of the sofa by Ruben’s head.
“Now she’s asleep, I can do what I really want to do,” he says, before turning and leaning over me so I have no choice but to lay back on the sofa. “I’ve had the longest night waiting for you to come back,” he growls, before his lips are back on mine.
As he deepens the kiss, he pushes my long skirt up to my thighs so he can get his knees between my legs. He must feel me freeze slightly when his hands run over the skin on my thighs, because he whispers that he loves my legs. Damn him for knowing what I’m thinking.
When I feel his hands move around to grab on to my arse I pull my lips away from his to put an end to the kiss. He isn’t happy with this, and tries to continue.
“Ru, wait.”
He sits back and pouts at me, which makes me smile back at him. I run my eyes down his body. His chest is heaving with his heavy breathing, and it’s clear where his thoughts are at by the tenting of his jogging bottoms. “What?”
I’m silent for too long while I think about how to word what I want to say.
“You do want this, don’t you, Emma?”
I scramble to sit myself up a little and put my hands on his strong thighs. “Yeah…it’s just…” I trail off, because I really don’t know what to say.
“Good. As long as it’s what you want, because I know that you are what I want. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never felt like this before.”
I can’t help the goofy smile that lights up my face at hearing him admit that to me. Embarrassingly, my eyes also tear up a little. We continue to stare at each other until I build up the courage to say what it is I need to say.
“I’ve never done this before either,” I say, but I don’t think he realises I mean something different to him. He’s never been in a relationship and cared about a woman before, whereas I’ve never been with a man, full stop. I’m not ready to admit my complete innocence to him yet, though. “So we are going to do this differently. I am not going to fall straight in to bed with you, Ruben. We are going to do this properly, get to know each other, build up to it. This needs to be as different as possible compared to what you’ve experienced before.”
I can see he’s disappointed by what he’s hearing, but fair play to him, because he covers it very quickly.
“Okay, so we’re what? Dating?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Wow, this is a novelty! He says with a cheeky smile. “I can do this though, right?” he questions as he leans forwards and kisses me again.
“Uh huh,” I mumble my agreement against his lips.
I eventually managed to get Ruben to leave just after midnight. He tried his hardest to get me to let him stay, but it was not happening. I meant what I said: we are doing this properly, for both our sakes. For mine, because this is totally unknown territory for me, and the only way I know how to deal with it is to take it one step at a time. And for him, because his normal is to just to jump into bed with a woman. That will not be happening here. He is going to have to work for it. I don’t mean work for the right to sleep with me, I mean work to build my confidence so I’ll feel like I can put myself out there like that. The thought that he is going to rip my heart to pieces is still at the forefront of my mind, but I do realise that I need to live a little.
I re-read my book the other night and it reminded me that I had written more or less one hundred thousand words about being able to move on from a tragedy and finding happiness and love again. And there I was, possibly running in the opposite direction from those things. I’m aware it’s a fiction book I’ve written, and not a self-help guide, but the therapy I found in just writing it is enough for me to try to follow my own advice, even if the character is mostly fictional.
I went to bed after I locked the house up last night, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind and body were buzzing from my time with Ruben, so I ended up writing long into the night. Molly told me last night that she had gone ahead and planned my book release for eight weeks’ time, so I don’t have to wait too long to find out what people will really think of it. Well, that’s if anyone actually downloads it in the first place. There are so many amazing published and indie authors out there that I often wonder if I’m kidding myself to think I belong in the same category as either of them.
I have no idea what time I eventually gave in and went to bed, but I was up again and writing by eight this morning.
I’m on a serious roll. I’ve written over ten thousand words today, as well as editing what I did last night. I almost don’t want to go out to the hairdressers with Connie, but it’ll be good to move about and stretch my muscles after barely moving all day.
“Mum, are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Connie asks Elizabeth, her mum, as she removes her apron and grabs her bag.
“Yes, baby. I’ve done this a million times, plus I’ve got Zoe here as well,” she says, referring to Connie’s weekend lady.
“Oh my God, you never told me this was the salon you went to,” I exclaim as I follow Connie into Altered Images.
“EMMIE,” I cringe at the nickname I now hate being screeched across the salon. Shane comes over and kisses me on both cheeks.
“Please don’t call me that,” I whisper in his ear when he hugs me.
“Sorry.” He actually looks really guilty. He knows that was Hannah’s nickname for me. “I’ve been dying to get my hands on your hair for months.”
“How’s my best customer?” he asks, addressing Connie, who is looking at the pair of us wit
h a confused look on her face.
“You two know each other?”
“Yeah, we’ve know each other for years. I went to university with Shane’s now husband.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve been dying to do that,” Shane repeats as he holds the mirror up to show me my finished look. My chestnut hair is now sun kissed with golden highlights, and it has been layered throughout to give me more volume along with a side fringe, which even I can admit softens my face. I look over to Connie, who now has electric blue streaks in her slightly longer bob than when I originally met her.
Shane ended up convincing us to go out for a drink with him and Chris, as we were his last clients of the day. Connie was very excited about this, as she had heard so much about Chris she was dying to meet him.
I’d texted Ruben to cancel him coming over once I got back, because after only a few hours’ sleep the night before, I was exhausted. He didn’t sound too thrilled in his response, but I reminded him that I’d be spending all tomorrow night with him at his parents’ party, and that seemed to cheer him up slightly.
I was surprised that Connie didn’t say anything about the two of us. I can only presume that Ruben hasn’t told her, and for now, I’m happy for it to be just between the two of us. I’m not going to be able to keep it secret for very long, though. I don’t think we’ll get away with it at the party tomorrow.
Angel Series Books #1-2.5 Page 81