by L. K. Gandy
“I would love that,” I say giggling, “but I’m pretty sure Armie will want to see you again later today.”
“Yeah, I guess. Kids suck the life right out of you,” he jokes. “Alright, I guess we need to get up,” he says settling all of his weight on my chest.
“Branson! You’re going to smother me, I can’t…breathe… get…up,” I say coughing and trying to push him off of me. No luck, he’s too heavy.
“You can do better than that,” he teases.
“I’m dying.” Maybe that was an over exaggeration but it worked. “Oh, thank God,” I say as he gets off the bed to stand in front of me. He grabs for his jeans giving me the perfect view of his sculpted ass. YUM! “Alright, so to wrap this tour up, there’s a guest bedroom down the hall, last door on your right. I have to pee but you’re welcome to check it out, it’s nothing spectacular. I’ll meet you in the kitchen so we can find where your shirt mysteriously ended up, unless you want to stay shirtless the rest of the day. I think I know a woman who wouldn’t mind,” I say winking. Walking into the bathroom I can’t help but notice the huge smile plastered on my face. I never imagined I’d be this happy on today of all days. I guess talking my issues out seemed to be just the therapy I needed.
“Sawyer?”
“Yes?” Branson’s voice seems concerned so I walk a little quicker toward my bedroom door than normal.
“Why do you have a picture of this man?” The confusion on his face is something I never expected.
“What do you mean? Those are my parents at a dinner party. He’s my father, why do you ask?”
“He’s the man from the agency who helped us with Armie’s adoption.”
“I’M SORRY, WHAT?” I must not have heard him correctly.
“He’s with the adoption agency we went through when we brought Armie home. He was at the hospital with us when we signed all the paperwork he had.”
“You must be confused, my dad doesn’t deal with adoption agencies, he’s a corporate law attorney,” I say shaking my head in disbelief.
“Sawyer, I promise you. This is the same man,” he says pointing at the man standing like a statue in the picture.
“I don’t understand.” Since when does he deal with adoptions? Is that something he’s ventured into on the side? It’s not like we talk often, but I’d think that’d be something he would mention.
“Armie was a baby when we brought him home. Today is his birthday, but technically we brought him home the next day from the hospital.” The word ‘hospital’ hits me like a ton of bricks.
“What hospital?”
“Vanderbilt. Laney was a nurse there, why?”
I can’t breathe. My heart is racing, and I think I might be having a panic attack. Realization settles in, and my mind is in overdrive. My face is void of any emotion; I can’t jump to any conclusions just yet. “That’s where I was after the accident. What did he say about the baby?”
“Sawyer, what’s wrong?”
“Answer the question!” I yell, unable to look at him. My eyes race back and forth across the floor, trying to put the shattered pieces together.
“Just that the mother wasn’t able to take care of him, she wasn’t prepared for what comes along with being a parent. Sawyer, you’re making me nervous, what’s going on?”
“That son of a BITCH! How the fuck could he do this to me?” Pacing across the room I decide to get my shoes on.
“What are you doing? Sawyer, please talk to me.” Branson steps in front of me, capturing my attention. With his hands on my shoulders I’m finally able to look him in the eyes. “Penny for your thoughts,” he says lovingly.
“I don’t know why I never noticed it before. I should have expected something deceitful like this from him. He never liked Jaxx, and he wasn’t thrilled about us having a baby either. I guess I had some crazy notion in my mind that somewhere deep inside he was a halfway decent person, even if it wasn’t directed toward me. I guess I was wrong.” My shoulders slump forward with the weight that’s just been dropped on me. “Don’t you get it Branson? The accident played right into his favor. Jaxx was out of the picture, and he thought I’d be too brokenhearted to want to raise a baby by myself, living with the daily reminder that I was completely and utterly alone.”
“Are you saying your father gave your son up for adoption while you were in the hospital? How would you not know something like that?”
“I was in a coma for almost a week. He could have easily conjured up some sick, twisted plan that would profit him in some way.” Taking a deep breath I stand as straight as I can and look Branson in the eyes. “I have to go talk to him. Armie…he’s my son. He has my eyes, and Jaxx’s personality and hair. I guess his looks are a mixture of us both, that’s why I didn’t notice right away. Not that I would have anyway, since I just found out he’s adopted, but…” I take a deep breath, covering my eyes with my hands.
“But what?”
“A mother should know, have some inkling that her child is still alive. I guess I’m just a little disappointed in myself and my instincts.”
“Sawyer, if this is true, and I hope for your sake it is, there’s absolutely NO reason for you to feel that way. Please listen to me when I say this…if your father did this, if Armie is your son, everything will work out. I’ll make sure of it, I promise you.”
“I have to go talk to my dad. I need to know the truth.”
“I’ll grab my keys,” he says bringing me in for a quick hug.
Rushing out the front door I have made up my mind on where I stand with my father. Getting into the truck my phone starts to ring. Fumbling around in my purse I pick it up with shaking hands. “Charlee, I can’t really talk right now. Yeah I know what day it is. I’ve been with Branson and his family. Listen, hey, Charlee, SHUT UP for one damn second in your life please.” That got her attention. Letting her in on the current news I have to pull the phone away from my ear after a brief pause where I thought we’d been disconnected. I don’t know where she comes up with this language but right now I agree with her tenfold. “Yeah, we’re on our way over there now…no, you don’t need to come. Why? I don’t need to have Branson bail our asses out of jail when we castrate the son of a bitch and get arrested, that’s why. I’ll let you know what happens. Love you too, bye.”
“I liked the, uh, ‘cock sucking fuck face shit bag’ line. She’s quite sassy, that Charlee.”
“That’s why we’re friends,” I say fondly. Giving him directions, Branson pulls the truck alongside the curb. I don’t even wait for it to stop before I’m out the door, sprinting across the street. Throwing the door open I march through the house. I’m on a mission, and I won’t let anything stop me.
“What in the world? Sawyer, what are you doing here?” My mother’s normal put together look has been traded for a drunken stare, messy hair and clothes that look entirely too big for her small frame. She reeks of alcohol.
“Where is he?” I demand.
“Where’s who?”
“You know exactly who I’m talking about. Where IS that bastard?” I’m yelling now, but I don’t care. I don’t have it in me to care for anyone in this house. My mother’s face has gone completely blank, her complexion now a pasty white. Looking at her a little closer I can see it in her hollow eyes. She knows. She’s known all along. No wonder she’s turned into a drunk just like him. “You BITCH! How could you know all this time and not tell me? Four years? FOUR FUCKING YEARS I’ve gone without living a real life. Did you think I didn’t deserve to know? That I should be left in the dark, cast aside like some sad, wounded mutt on the streets? How dare you. I looked up to you. I always thought you were a strong woman, staying by his pathetic side. Now I see you’re just a pawn in his sick, twisted game, just like I was. The only difference between us,” I say pointing a finger in her face, “I quit that game a long time ago.” Turning to leave the kitchen I see him standing in the doorway, behind him Branson stands on the front steps, leery about coming inside.
“I think it’s time we had a talk,” my father says slowly, deliberately. I’m shaking. My blood is boiling; I can feel it coursing through my veins pumping anger through my entire body. Clenching my fists, I stare at the man I’ve grown to hate. “I think you should sit down.”
“No, I’ll stand,” I bite back.
“Suit yourself.” He walks to one of the many bars he has set up discreetly around the house and pours himself a glass of scotch. He takes his time. He’s trying to figure out how to tell his side of the story so it makes him look like a hero, I’m sure.
“I’m waiting.” Branson has venture inside and now stands directly beside me, holding my hand for support; maybe to hold me back a little as well, I haven’t figured it out yet. Either way I’m thankful. Taking a look at him, my father exhales quickly through his nose as if he’s not impressed.
“I guess you figured it out. With his help I assume,” he says pointing at Branson as he sits in a leather chair leaning against the wall. “There’s no easy way to say this Sawyer, so I’ll just spit it out. Yes, I adopted your son out to this gentleman. His wife said they were struggling with their agency, and I knew you wouldn’t be able to take care of that baby, so I did what I thought was best.”
“What you thought was best? How on earth do you think that you have ANY right to choose what’s best for me or my child? You’ve never known what’s best for me. Hell you’ve never even cared for me a day in your damn life, why would you start caring then?” I can feel the hatred emanating from my skin.
“You’re my daughter, I know what’s best for you.” He takes a sip before continuing. “I was looking at him through the glass when a nurse paused to stare at all of the babies. She went on to tell me how she and her husband were trying to adopt a baby, but it wasn’t panning out in their favor, so I saw an opportunity. She told me about the agency and the waiting lists, the interviews that went so well but the mothers backed out despite those. I could see she was desperate for a child, so I did what I thought was best for everyone. I pretended to be with that agency. It was easy, I’m always in a suit and tie. I guess she was too blinded with excitement that she didn’t ask questions. I went home that night and typed out some paperwork. The next day they were signed, and the baby was on his way to a new home. The doctors and nurses were paid substantially not to say anything. You woke up a few days after, none the wiser. It was what you needed, Sawyer.”
I’m floored. The explanation I was just given doesn’t even make sense. How could so many people want to hurt me this badly? I’ve never been so mad at someone that I’m unable to speak, until now.
“How could you do that to your daughter?” Branson looks down at my father with disgust and now I wonder if I’m the one holding him back. “She’s your flesh and blood. Do you not see how amazing she is? You honestly think that she couldn’t handle living alone and raising a child? Are you so blinded by greed that you put your own needs ahead of hers?” His temper is flaring and the muscles in his jaw are protruding when he closes his mouth.
“How dare you,” my father yells. “You storm into my house, and this is the way you talk to me?” He’s standing now but doesn’t come any closer.
“Excuse me?” I blurt out, letting go of Branson’s hand to step toward my father. “How in the FUCK do you think you can talk to either of us like this? You deceived BOTH of us,” I say pushing a finger into his chest as hard as I can. “You PAID PEOPLE TO LIE TO ME. Do you not see how absolutely fucked up you are? That you defiled my chance to know what true happiness feels like after such tragedy and misery?” My hands are on my head now, awestruck. “I don’t know where in that messed up mind of yours you construed what you think is some sort of ‘heroism act’ on your part, but you seriously need to get your shit checked out by a shrink. You’re insane. Don’t come near me again, either of you.” Looking at my mother who is cowering in the corner, I’ve made up my mind. “This is the last time you’ll see me, so get a long hard look. Don’t call me, don’t come by my house…actually you know what, you can have that house since you bought it. I’ll find another one. I don’t want any ties to you. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have parents.” Branson reaches for my hand as I turn around, and we both storm out of the door together.
Branson
FINDING OUT THAT SAWYER IS Armie’s mother came as quite a shock, as it should. Honestly I didn’t know how to feel at first. So many things ran through my mind at once, like a whirlwind of emotions stewing in a pot of boiling water; it was hard to decipher between them all. I didn’t know whether to be upset for her, overjoyed that my son will be able to live his life knowing that his mother had always wanted him, or leery about the situation regarding custody. Either way I had to tell my family right away. Armie wasn’t just my son, he was a nephew and grandson. His wellbeing affected my entire family. After dropping Sawyer off at her house to sort some of her things out so she could stay with Charlee, I called my brother right away. He was picking up our mother and meeting me at the house. Everything happens for a reason. Sawyer is my reason. I lost count of how many times I repeated that phrase in my head on the ride home.
Pulling into my driveway I parked the truck next to my brother’s before rushing through the front door. Brooks was pacing the floor behind the couch while my mother sat, staring at the wall. Worry was written on both of their faces.
“You’re going to leave a path in the hardwood if you don’t stop pacing like that.”
“Sorry, I just don’t know what else to do,” Brooks says with frantic eyes. His calloused hand runs down his face slowly, dragging his skin with the force of pressure he puts on it.
“Honey, what does this mean? What are we going to do?” My mother sits with her hands in her lap, her left leg bouncing slightly. She always bounces her leg when she’s anxious. I don’t think it stopped bouncing for months after our dad passed away. I walk to the couch to be by her side.
“Honestly, I’m not sure Mom. We haven’t had much time to figure things out, as you can imagine. It’s still sinking in for the both of us.”
“She has a right to some sort of custody sweetheart. That’s her son. Oh, no,” she gasps. “Do you think she’ll take him from you? She can’t do that can she? I know she’s a lawyer but she has to have a heart. He’s our boy!” Hysterics settle in full swing and it takes a few minutes to calm her down.
“Mom, she’s not like that. She knows how much we love him, she wouldn’t do that to us, let alone Armie. We’re all he knows.”
“She’d have one hell of a fight if she tried, that’s for damn sure,” Brooks says matter-of-factly, his hands on his hips. “You’re right though, I can’t picture her doing that either. Especially after the talk I had with her at his party.”
“What do you mean? What did you say to her? So help me God, Brooks,” I jump from the couch ready to knock his ass out, my fists clenching at my sides.
“Easy dude, it wasn’t bad, I swear. Calm down, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I told her how much Armie means to this family and she understood. She’s sweet on you for some reason or another. I don’t understand why, especially with your ugly mug.”
“Shut up asshole.”
“Boys! Don’t make me whoop you both. You know I will, I don’t care how old you are. I brought you into this world, and I can take you out just as easily.” Our mom always used the same threat when we were growing up. Dad had to hide his laughter when she’d get onto us because he was afraid she’d come after him next.
“Yes, ma’am,” we say in unison.
“Do you love her?”
“What?”
“You heard me. Do you love her? Do you see yourself with her later on down the road?” Brooks isn’t one to talk about emotion so hearing him ask me these questions throws me off.
“I guess I haven’t really thought about it.”
“Bullshit,” he says forcing air through his nose.
“Okay fine. I have thought about it, and you know what
? The thought scares me. It’s taken her four years to get over her ex-fiancé who was killed in a car accident. One that she was involved in while pregnant with Armie. She ended up in a coma for a week only to find out that when she woke up they were both dead…or so she thought. Her dick of a father bribed doctors and nurses with butt loads of money to keep their mouths shut about giving away the baby he didn’t want her to have in the first place.”
“Holy shit.”
“Brooks! Language!” my mother warns between the fingers that cover her mouth. “Oh that poor girl.”
“Shit,” he breathes. “Sorry.”
“So you can see why I’d be a bit leery about expressing my feelings to her, in light of the events that have unfolded.”
“Branson, honey.” My mother gets to her feet, taking my hands in hers. “You have to tell her sweetheart. She has to know how you feel. I agree with your brother. I saw the way she looked at you during the party. I also saw the way you looked at her. I know you loved Laney, but I don’t think I ever saw you look at her the way you look at Sawyer. She’s special, baby. Don’t let her slip between your fingers. You deserve all the happiness in the world.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I smile down at her, adoration written clearly across her face.
“That’s how your father looked at me, you know. You have his eyes.” She pats my cheek before turning toward the door. “Come on Brooks, time to take me home.”
“Take you home? What do you mean? We haven’t gotten any information yet? What are we going to do about this?”
“I can only answer one question at a time, so I’ll start with the first one. Yes, take me home. I’ll answer the rest in the car while your brother goes after his lady.” She glances over her shoulder to wink at me before opening the door. I love that woman.
“Well, shit.”