The Game of Denial

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The Game of Denial Page 10

by Brenda Adcock


  "What did the kids say?"

  "It got pretty quiet after you left."

  "I don't know what to say to them. They know how she is, but that was truly a new low."

  Evey removed the tape Ralph had put around Joan's hands to protect them. There were a few streaks of blood on the tape surrounding her right hand. Evey turned Joan's hand over. "I'll put some ointment on your knuckles."

  "It's okay. I got a few swings in before Ralph showed up." Joan pulled her hand away and flexed her fingers. "No harm done." She reached out and touched the bag. "Why do you have this?"

  "So the boys could do the same thing you did when they were mad, mostly with me. Beats hitting another person."

  "Although it does lack a certain sense of satisfaction that would bring."

  "On the other hand, you'll never get arrested from assaulting an inanimate object."

  "True." Joan looked around. "If you don't mind, I think I'll walk around a little to finish calming down before I go back to the house. I need to wash my face and let my clothes dry some."

  "Want company?"

  "I'm afraid I'm not very good company right now."

  Evey shrugged as they roamed down a footpath that led into a forested area not far from the stable.

  JOAN FELT ODDLY comforted by simply having Evey's presence walking silently next to her.

  "It's nice here," Joan said a few minutes later.

  "Pretty boring," Evey said.

  "After the excitement caused by the Carmichael clan, I'm sure boring must seem like a welcome relief."

  "Don't underestimate yourself. You have four lovely and charming children. It's obvious how much they all adore you."

  Joan plucked a leaf from a nearby tree and picked at it. "I was never as outgoing or demonstrative as Martine. Even though I gave birth to Tuck and Meg, she was the one who raised them." A wistful smile crossed Joan's lips. "She practically took them from me as soon as they were delivered. She loved them all so much."

  "And she loved you."

  Joan stopped and gazed up at the crisp blue sky, taking a deep breath. "Yes, she did." She dropped her head and stared at the ground. She shook her head. "I miss her." A tear formed and caught on her eyelashes. She brushed it away and continued walking. The sun was beginning to fall toward the tree line when they finally made their way to the back door of the house. To reach the back door they had to walk between the small house that was serving as guest quarters for Tucker and his family and the main house.

  "Catch, Gramma!" a young voice called out.

  Joan turned just in time to grab a football out of the air with one hand moments before it would have hit her. She laughed and threw the ball high into the air. Mitchell ran under the ball and caught it.

  "Good catch, Mitch," Joan praised her grandson. "Let me change and we'll toss it around some before dinner."

  "Me, too, Gramma?" Morgana said, jumping up and down in excitement.

  "Of course, Jitterbug," Joan answered with a laugh.

  Ten minutes later Joan stepped out the back door of the house wearing a well-worn pair of Nikes, faded jeans, and a black t-shirt. She turned the corner of the house looking for her grandchildren, then stopped and laughed out loud. On the side lawn stood all of her children and grandchildren, in addition to Evey and her three children. When they saw her, they broke into two teams, preparing for a game of touch football. Joan saw Frannie and Mitchell lined up with Evey's team.

  "Traitor," she said to Frannie. She glanced at Mitchell. "Et tu, Bruté?"

  The boy shrugged at her. "We needed an even number."

  "We'll see about that. We have a secret weapon. Morgana." She looked at her excited granddaughter. "Right, Jitterbug?"

  Morgana dropped into a three-point stance and grunted, causing a round of good-natured laughter on both sides. Joan's team won the coin toss and briefly huddled to call a play. Giselle acted as the center and prepared to hike the ball to Tucker. He planted his hands between her legs to take the ball. She stood partway and glared over her shoulder at her husband. "Hey! It's called touch football, not grope football," she said.

  He grinned at her and shrugged. "Can't blame a guy for tryin'."

  "Later," Giselle said with a wink.

  "Play, Daddy!" Morgana piped up, eager to take off running.

  "Okay, baby," Tuck said.

  Giselle hiked the ball and landed a perfect block against Beth. Joan ran down the field and looked back over her shoulder in time to see Tucker toss the ball in her direction. She lengthened her stride and stretched her body and arms as far as she could. She brought the ball against her body and held it securely as she hit the ground.

  As they lined up for the next play, Evey set herself to defend against another long throw. "No more of that hot doggin'," she said as Joan prepared to go down field again.

  "That was not hot doggin'," Joan said. "It was pure talent."

  "I like a woman who's modest," Evey said.

  Joan nearly missed the toss from Tucker after Evey's remark. She saw Morgana nearby and dodged being touched by Beth. She caught up to Morgana and extended her hand, tucking the football in the crook of the little girl's arm. "Run fast, Jitterbug," she said, followed by a pat on the child's butt. Joan stopped and smiled as the girl scampered down the field, scoring a touchdown. Joan knew that more than one adult deliberately missed touching the girl as she unnecessarily zigzagged. Afterward Joan's team performed an impromptu celebration around Morgana and Tucker hoisted her on his shoulders for a victory ride. Two plays later, Brad threw the ball into Mitchell's waiting arms for the tying touchdown, followed by another mini-celebration.

  By the time the game was called for dinner, the score remained tied and no one walked to the house unhappy. Ralph had spent his time getting Evey's outdoor grill ready and had the first round of hamburgers and hot dogs stacked on platters. Joan gratefully accepted a hot dog and dropped onto the fragrant grass to catch her breath. She was hungrily chewing the first bite when a hand holding a glass of tea appeared in front of her. She looked up and saw Evey's smiling face.

  "Mind if I join you?" Evey asked.

  Joan looked around the wide expanse of yard before answering. "It's pretty crowded, but I think I can make room for you."

  Evey handed her plate to Joan and sat down cross-legged next to her. "Feeling better?" she asked.

  Joan nodded as she took another large bite.

  "I'm surprised none of the kids have asked you about what happened earlier," Evey said.

  "They know better. I wouldn't discuss it with them. My cross to bear," Joan said with an insincere smile. "Did you enjoy the game?" she asked, changing the subject to something more comfortable.

  "Actually, it was very relaxing. But I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow."

  Joan laughed. "Probably everywhere except your butt. You have that covered from horseback riding." Joan chewed and swallowed the last of her hot dog. "Want another one?" she asked.

  Evey was still chewing, but nodded. Joan stood up and walked to the grill. While she was waiting for Ralph to drop two more hot dogs on the buns on her plate, Tucker came up next to her and leaned close. "Uncle Ron and his girlfriend are here. Meme is with them."

  Joan nodded and handed her plate to Tuck. "Take this to Mrs. Chase, please. I'll be back in a few minutes."

  "Need back-up?"

  Joan ran a hand up his arm and squeezed his shoulder. "Thanks, but there's no need to ruin everyone's day." Before she turned away she added, "Keep everyone back here, will you?"

  Joan walked around the house and stood at the edge of the gravel drive as her brother parked his vehicle. She opened the back passenger door and held out her hand to assist Luella. When the older woman exited the car, she straightened her skirt and blouse while Ron opened the front passenger door for Anita.

  "I trust you plan to apologize to Mrs. Chase and her children for your incredible rudeness this afternoon," Joan said.

  "I didn't do anything..." Luella began.


  "I don't give a rat's ass how you treat me, Mother. I'm a big girl and can take it. However, I can and do object to how you treat other people, especially my children. What you said today was unconscionable. I expect you to apologize to our hosts and then have a discussion with my children."

  "This is your fault," Luella hissed. "You brought that French tart into my house and introduced her as your spouse, expecting us to throw our arms open and welcome her without an iota of warning. Like there was nothing wrong with that."

  "I loved her! You should have been thrilled that I found someone who loved me and wanted to share a lifetime with me."

  "I would have been happy if it had been a man. I expected you to give me grandchildren."

  "We gave you four grandchildren. They are still your blood, regardless of how they were conceived."

  "Your family simply is not normal, Joan," Luella said.

  "Like ours was so great and you were such a fabulous role model for us," Joan snapped.

  Luella's hand rose swiftly and slapped her daughter's face. There wasn't any real power behind the slap, but it stung nonetheless. Joan rubbed the side of her face while clenching her other hand into a fist.

  "Don't you ever speak to me like that again, Joan Carmichael," Luella said. "Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what to think or accept?"

  "I'm your daughter, Luella. I always hoped you loved me enough to accept who I was."

  "I will never accept the way you have chosen to live your life."

  "Why did you even bother to come here?"

  "To see Byron's daughter get married. Despite being raised by you and that woman, she seems to have chosen a normal life."

  "Other than genetically, Fran is not Ron's daughter," Joan snapped. "He watched a porn video, beat off in a plastic cup, and walked away. Until her death Martine was devoted to Fran's upbringing. We did not ask for, want, or need, and did not receive one thin dime of monetary support from him or you. It was a contractual arrangement just like the one I had with Gerard."

  "It's unnatural. You make me ashamed to be your mother," Luella said. "I should have drowned you when you were a puppy! Get in the car, Byron. We're leaving," she ordered.

  Joan closed her eyes and took a calming breath. "Will you be back Saturday? For Fran's sake, at least?" she asked.

  Joan thought she heard a quick "˜yes' as the door slammed shut. "Thank you," she said to herself, knowing her mother hadn't heard her, and watched as Ron drove out of the parking area.

  EVEY BACKED AWAY from the front screen door, closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. She had never felt as badly for anyone as she did for Joan Carmichael at that moment. She was a beautiful, bright, funny, successful woman and yet she had never been able to attain the one thing she wanted. Acceptance from her own mother for the woman she was. There could be no doubt that she had loved the woman who had shared her life for more than twenty years or that she would do almost anything for their children. She had been very friendly toward Evey's family, despite Tully's outburst. Yet beneath her carefully maintained façade, Joan Carmichael was a sad and lonely woman. As Joan turned to join the others in the back yard, Evey walked quickly through her house and out the back door. She stopped at the grill and retrieved a fresh hot dog for Joan and refilled her glass with tea. She had just sat down when Joan rejoined her.

  "Sorry to be longer than I expected," Joan said. "Business never takes a vacation."

  "I had to get you another hot dog," Evey said. "I ate yours. I never knew football could work up such an appetite."

  "Exercise and fresh air does that," Joan said. She took a bite of the hot dog and was chewing it slowly when she was suddenly attacked from behind and pulled down. Morgana's little body straddled Joan's. "Can we play football again, Gramma?" Morgana asked.

  Evey saw Giselle stand, but Joan waved her away. "It's getting dark, Jitterbug. Maybe tomorrow."

  "Mommy said everyone's going to be busy tomorrow," Morgana whined.

  "Well, we'll be very busy getting ready for your Aunt Fran's wedding. But if you're a very good girl you can go with us to the

  airport to get Uncle Gerard."

  "I don't know Uncle Gerard."

  "I know, but you'll like him. He is your Grandmother Martine's brother. And you know what?"

  "What?" Morgana asked, her eyes growing large.

  "He looks just like your Daddy."

  "Really?"

  Joan nodded. "You'll see tomorrow."

  "Does Uncle Gerard like football?"

  "He likes French football. It's called soccer."

  "We play that at school," the girl said. "I can run fast."

  "Maybe Gerard will play soccer with us."

  Morgana flung her body onto Joan's chest and Joan wrapped her arms around her granddaughter. She whispered something in French and released the child. Morgana jumped up and ran to give the news to her brother.

  Evey laughed. "Do you think he will?"

  "He might if Morgana blinks her eyelashes at him. He's always been a sucker for cute, young redheads."

  Evey took Joan's hand and helped her sit up again, holding it longer than necessary to feel the tingle from Joan's touch dance up her arm. "Apparently Tucker inherited that from him."

  Joan grinned at her. "Tuck does look like Gerard. He and Martine were twins. Maybe that's why Tuck's always been just a little special to me."

  "Because he looks like Martine?"

  "In my eyes, they all look like her." Joan looked at her and smiled. "Why haven't you ever remarried? You certainly have a lot to offer someone."

  Evey blushed and shrugged. "I never found anyone I liked that much or who was interested in taking on the burden of three very young children. The farm kept me too busy to have a social life, I guess." She looked around until she spotted Ralph. "I don't know what I would have done if Ralph hadn't stopped by one day and offered to work in exchange for meals and a place to sleep until I could afford to pay him a wage."

  "Seems like a nice man."

  "He is. Gets along with the kids." Evey leaned her shoulder against Joan's and lowered her voice. "Actually I think he has a crush on me."

  Joan smiled as she looked down at Evey. "It's easy to understand why."

  EARLY THE NEXT morning, Ralph, Brad, and Fran helped Evey set up four long tables around the front yard of the house. Evey covered them with table cloths as Beth and Meg carried containers of tea and lemonade from the kitchen. The refrigerator was filled with platters of snacks. With more guests scheduled to arrive the day before the ceremony, Evey decided that the weather was pleasant enough for everyone to mingle outside. Beth scampered up a large tree that shaded most of the front lawn while Evey held a ladder and handed decorations up to her.

  "What can I do?" Joan asked, startling Evey who jumped in surprise.

  Evey snatched a wedding bell from her mouth. "If you can help Beth finish up, I can go inside and change."

  "No problem," Joan said as she stepped in front of Evey.

  Evey closed her eyes and deeply inhaled the intoxicating scent that seemed to encase Joan's body. God, she'd never known anyone who smelled so good.

  "Where do you want this, Mom?" Brad's voice asked, forcing her to turn away from the alluring scent.

  "Uh, on that far table I think," she said. "And make sure the ice isn't melting too fast," she added as he walked carefully toward the table.

  WHEN BETH CLIMBED down from the ladder, Joan looked around. Ralph was setting up chairs and smaller tables around the yard. It wasn't long before a few of Evey's neighbors arrived for the pre-wedding festivities. Joan was introduced and chatted amiably with people she would, in all likelihood, never see again. The sound of car tires on the gravel drive brought Joan's attention to the arrival of more guests and she excused herself. Two steps later she stopped and felt an uncontrollable urge to flee.

  Ron pulled his car into a shaded area away from the house and got out. He saw Joan and cast a wave in her direction as he circled the vehicle
and offered his hand to Anita. Then he gave an exaggerated shrug and opened the back passenger door. Luella stood erectly and took Ron's arm. They paused as Joan greeted them with an awkward kiss on her mother's cheek. Luella didn't return the kiss and turned to look at Anita. Evey had just left the house and was greeting the Grishams. Anita took Luella's arm and folded it over her own. Ron stood with Joan and watched as Anita escorted their mother toward where Evey was standing. Although she couldn't hear what was being said, Joan held her breath hoping a fistfight wouldn't occur. Evey nodded and smiled as she spoke to Anita and Luella. When the conversation apparently concluded Anita guided Luella onto the porch and into a rocking chair.

  Joan looked around the small groups of people assembling around the front yard and smiled. Ron ran his hand down her back. "You miss her, don't you?" he asked softly.

  Without looking at her brother, Joan said, "More than anything. She would have loved this. Our children and grandchildren gathered in one place. God, how she'd love it." On an impulse, Joan turned and wrapped her arms around Ron, hugging him soundly.

  When Joan released him, Ron craned his neck and looked around. "The groom's mother is a nifty little package," he said. "And single, I hear."

  Joan barked out a laugh. "And straight. Give it up, Ron. I don't have anything she'd be interested in."

  "That must be the reason she hasn't stopped staring at you since we arrived," Ron snorted.

  From across the yard, Evey's eyes met Joan's and she smiled and waved. Morgana tugged on Evey's skirt, which drew Joan's attention to shapely, muscular legs. Joan took in a deep breath and let it out slowly as Evey picked Morgana up and pointed in Joan's direction. When Evey set the girl down she flew across the yard toward her grandmother. Ron scooped the little girl into his arms and nuzzled his lips against her neck, causing a fit of laughter before Joan took her from him.

  In a high voice, Joan said, looking horrified, "Oh, no, Mister Bill! It's the Tickle Monster!"

  Ron brought his hands up and wiggled his fingers. Morgana squeezed her eyes shut and pressed tightly against Joan's body. "Run!" the girl squealed in delight.

 

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