“I told her you’d gone to see your mother. I gave her your number.”
“Good. Thanks, man. Did she say where she was staying?”
“No. In fact, Mr. Clean showed up and took her away.”
I chewed on the side of my mouth. That comment drew blood. “Same bald guy from the pictures?”
“Yep.”
“Who the fuck is that?”
“I don’t know, man. But she trusts him.”
I released a long breath. “I gotta go. If you see her again, please keep her with you until I get there.”
“Uh-uh. That ain’t gonna happen, buddy with Mr. tough guy in the picture.”
“Try,” I said and hung up the phone.
At the top of the mountain, I glanced back—the paparazzi were in hot pursuit. If they only knew I was just a guy looking for a girl. How did that make news?
Chapter 24
MELA
My heart has your name on it
The guy, Dalton, from the courthouse was the same guy in the pictures with Jackson. He was a friend. I studied the pictures frame by frame. Laughter all over their faces as they changed places in the front seat of some fancy car. I could only imagine the conversation. I smiled.
“Mommy. You found Jackson?” Beck asked me.
I spun around in the hotel chair, lifting him into a hug. “Not yet, buddy. Why would you ask that?”
The tiny hands that I loved touched my cheeks. “Because you’re smiling.”
“Don’t be silly, goofball, I smile when I see you too.”
Then I pulled his sticky palms off my face. “What have you eaten that’s made you sticky?” I asked, smelling his hands. The sweetness reeked off his fingers
“Cotton candy!” he yelled.
Ari rounded the corner of the suite. “That poor child had never had cotton candy.”
“It’s eleven AM!” I laughed. “How was it?”
“Super good, Mommy.”
He reached out for me again, but I dodged away from him. “Go wash those sticky things, you stinker.”
Beck giggled then scurried off toward the sink.
Ari fell backward onto the bed with a dramatic sigh. “I’m in love,” she announced to the room.
“Rock is a lucky man.”
“Not with Rock, you, dumbass. With Beck! Me, I don’t want to not be around you guys. I want to live near you.”
I stared at her. I’d spent so long running from her. From the things she’d done. Hating her. And even with all that, I wanted to be near her too.
“Let me figure things out, ok? With Jackson. And then let’s figure that out. I want that too,” I said, sitting next to her and running my fingers through her long, wavy hair.
“He’ll know, Me. He’ll know someday about the things I’ve done. What happens when someday he sees my movies?”
I physically cringed at the thought. “I don’t know the answer, Ari. I wish I did. I struggled too.” I shook away the thoughts. There was no point in bringing this up. These were my issues not hers. “It’s ok though. He’ll love you so much that he will forgive you,” I said hopeful.
Her beautiful brown eyes rounded. “Do you? Do you forgive me?”
Her next breath was dependent on my response. Tears brewed in my eyes, breaking their barriers when I nodded.
“Yes, Ari. I forgive you,” I cried. A scar would always remain, but my heart healed just a little bit with the forgiveness.
Our arms wrapped each other as we fell back onto the bed…laughter and tears mixed. We lay there together for the longest time, this time her fingers weaved through my hair as we stared up at the ceiling. Sisters…twin sisters…soul sisters.
“Mela!” My name was an urgent cry, and I bolted upright.
Ari and Rock stood together, heads touching, staring at the computer screen in front of them.
“Where’s Beck?” I asked. Panic surged through me.
“Woody is teaching him to play poker. Look at this.”
I rolled my sleepy eyes with small laughter breaking in my throat at what my poor boy was being taught. Rock set the computer on the desk and swiveled the screen in my direction. I waited impatiently, assuming this was about Jackson.
“What time is it?” I asked, yawning.
“You slept for ten hours,” Ari whispered.
Rock stepped back from the screen, making the blood in my veins pick up speed. My heart was a jackhammer ramming in my chest.
Oh God, there was our cabin on some video feed. My home. Our home. Jackson walked out onto the porch in his jeans and a blue flannel shirt. He waved at the cameras. What the hell was he doing?
He sat on the top step of the porch. The brown, rugged boots he wore, fit him perfectly. My stomach fluttered simply seeing him. His handsomeness. His manliness. All of him. He reached for something behind him then held it up. A piece of poster board—MELA MCKINLEY!
I gasped. My hand covered my mouth. The world would see this.
He laid that down and picked up another piece.
I LOVE YOU
I knew there was no physical way for your heart to melt but it seemed to disintegrate in my chest. I could only watch as he picked up another piece of white board.
I know what Senator McKinley tried to do to you.
Next piece.
I’ve seen the paperwork she filed.
It was obvious now he was telling a story.
I have paperwork of my own now.
He held up some sort of document.
I have legal documents stating you have full custody of Beck.
A message was written on every single piece of poster board.
There are zero visitation rights for paternal grandparents.
ZERO
Jackson stared at the camera as if waiting for my reaction. Tears pooled in my eyes. This…this arrangement or resolved legal battle was exactly what I wanted. Rock glanced over at me, measuring my response. I looked at him quickly then back to the computer screen. Jackson picked up another piece of poster board.
I lied to you—I’m sorry
I DID know who you were once I saw you
I wasn’t looking for you. I truly WAS lost. You saved me.
My chest expanded when I took in a deep breath.
I should have told you. I’m sorry.
I’ve been blessed with most anything I want, Mela.
None of that means anything. I only want you.
My heart has your name on it.
I’m staying here until you come back to me.
Once again he hesitated, elbows rested on knees, as he stared between his legs.
I know this scares you.
Yep.
Trust me Mela. I’ll protect you. No more running
Put the past away and let’s start our future
How cute that he underlined ‘our.’ I smiled.
I’m waiting baby. I’ll wait forever…and a day… but hurry
With that, Jackson stood and disappeared inside our cabin—the cameras on him the entire way. Silent tears spilled over as my hand pulled my shirt away from my chest to make room for the love in my heart.
Could I live like that? Cameras on us constantly, exposing Beck? There were so many celebrities out there that protected their children, surely we could too. Besides, once I wasn’t in hiding any more, what would be the point in taking pictures of us? Seriously, no one would even care.
Rock cleared his throat, and like a child, Ari bounced on the bed just as excited as I was.
“What do I do?” I whispered, hesitant to get too excited.
“You go to him!” she squealed. “He loves you.”
“Ari,” Rock said, caution drowning his tone. “Mela. I don’t know whether he’s a good guy or not. But you need to think about the exposure to Beck.”
I gave him a thoughtful nod. “I am. I do. He’s my driving force.”
Rock tilted his head to the side. “All right. I just want you to think about it before I take you back there. Make
sure.”
“He lied to me,” I said to both of them or maybe it was to the wall behind them.
“Me. You had the guy at gunpoint. You threatened to kill him. I’d have lied too,” Ari said.
“He loves me…” I whispered to no one. My own affirmation, perhaps.
“You deserve it.”
When I saw Rock begin to leave, I stopped him.
“You’d take me to him?”
“Yes, Mela. We travel as a pack. We would all take you. You’re one of us.”
I wasn’t sure how Rock and Ari had met, but I knew why she stayed. They took care of their own. I thought back to the day they all entered my house after Ian died. Back then I couldn’t imagine them being a part of my world. But as of today, I couldn’t imagine them not being a part of my world.
In the other room, I heard Becks laughter. Food for my soul. This decision wasn’t one I needed to think about too long. I knew what I wanted. I knew who I wanted. And, I was pretty sure Beck wanted him too. My biggest issue was the lying. Obviously, he was trying to take care of us by securing the custody and visitation. Could all of this nightmare with the senator really be over? The weight I carried seemed to lift. I couldn’t imagine what life for Beck and I could be without that fear…without that worry. I’d been so vigilant for so long; I wasn’t sure I knew how to be a different way.
After another long inhale, I headed into the room where I’d heard laughter earlier. The guys were using toothpicks and truly teaching my pre-k child to gamble.
“Really guys? Next you’ll be giving him a tattoo and taking him to a gentleman’s club,” I joked with a grin.
“Mommy, what’s a gentleman’s club?” Beck asked.
“Yes, Mommy. What’s a gentlemen’s club?” Woody asked, laughing.
I rolled my eyes and lifted Beck into my arms.
“We need to talk, Buddy.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, no, no! You did nothing. We need to talk about going back to the cabin.” I sat him on the bed.
“Yay!” he jumped up and down.
“Not on the bed, mister.”
“Mommy, will Jackson be there?” Excitement colored his tone.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure.” There was no way I would get his hopes up if this didn’t play out like we hoped. “Here’s the deal…pickle.”
He giggled.
“You know how you have to hide out while mommy checks things out sometimes?”
His brown hair flopped as he nodded. I made note to schedule a haircut…someplace.
“That’s what I’m going to do. You get to stay with the guys and Aunt Ari…”
“Yes!” He squeezed his fists together.
“OK. I love you, buddy.”
“And, you I love,” he said, reminding me of Ian. Maybe it was a sign—Beck and I had said that a couple of times to one another but not in a while.
I bent down, brushing a kiss over his forehead, took a deep breath and decided it was a sign. A sign that Ian was watching over us and giving me his blessing.
Chapter 25
Road trip...love trip
There were six bikes that wound through the mountain roads in the cold. Ari’s jacket kept me warmer than I expected. And sitting behind Rock certainly helped. I kept resting my helmet on Rock’s back trying to wrap my brain around what I was going to do. Jackson needed me as much as I needed him. We both had scars inside and out—scars that maybe only each other could heal. As strangers, we shared those scar stories and maybe as lovers we would mend them.
When the lights of the small town came into view, my heart thumped harder than the pipes on the bike. Suddenly, my stomach tossed around the grilled cheese I’d eaten for lunch. My mind questioned if this was the right thing. The helmet on my head seemed tighter.
Rock steered into the parking lot where my SUV still sat. I glanced over at Layne’s place to catch a glimpse of a familiar face. God, I missed the girls and Layne.
Once Rock stopped, letting me step off, he maneuvered the bike into a parking stall and killed the engine.
“You know my fat ass is not going to make it up that mountain. We’re going to hit the only bar in this town. Somehow, you need to get an SOS to me or something if you need us.”
“I’ll be fine.” I smiled, touching his cheek. “Seriously. I’m not afraid of Jackson.”
Hesitation lurked in Rock’s eyes. Hopefully, I would prove this to him in time.
“Mela,” he said in a hushed tone. I moved closer. “I overheard your conversation with Ari last night.”
I thought back, recalling our talk about me forgiving her.
“You let her off the hook. Why? She has no idea how you’ve been hurt or scarred by the things she’s done.”
“In the end, does it really matter? She’s changed. Changing. I’ve come to grips with where we are.”
“Do you really forgive her?”
After a long shrug, I said, “Yes. I think so. I have to forgive her. It heals me too.”
“Good.” He tilted his head toward the mountain. “Go get ‘em,” he said, starting up the bike and drowning out any further goodbye.
I shot the whole group deuces and headed to my car.
When I crested the mountain, I smiled. The chimney resembled a freight train—white smoke versus black, but I loved knowing he was in our house. Waiting for me…
As I hiked closer, I kept my eyes on the windows to see if he saw me first. And I wondered if my picture was being taken as I walked just a little faster. For four years, I’d really had no need to worry about how I looked, but now I wished I’d paid a little more attention to detail.
I actually giggled to myself as I thought about shooting everyone the middle finger. Rock would get a kick out of that. He’d be proud.
When the cock of a gun echoed over the valley, my eyes instantly shot up to meet the beautiful blue ones I’d fallen in love with. The shotgun was pointed in my direction. I stood there for a long second waiting…frozen.
“I promised someone not long ago that I would protect this house and the people who live in it.” The right side of his mouth pulled into a slow grin. “Tell me what business you have here.”
“Well,” I chuckled as I composed myself. “I heard someone was here making unnecessary videos and telling the world…stuff.”
He shrugged and looked ridiculously gorgeous in his jeans, blue flannel shirt and brown hiking boots. His beard was half back.
“You see, when you realize you’re in love with someone, you decide you want forever to start now. You don’t want to wait. And when she rides off into the sunset with a motorcycle gang—and you worry you may never see her again—you become desperate. So, you decide to put all your shit and her shit on blast.” He shrugged again, blowing out the longest of breaths and then stepped one step down…one step closer.
“See, Mela. If you put your shit out there, they have nothing to dig up, nothing can really be held against you. You’ve aired it. What have I done? I outed the senator and her piece-of-shit husband. I outed myself. I was never prepared to be a millionaire. And the funny thing is, none of that matters now. You matter.”
The urge to go to him overwhelmed me, and I took two, slow steps forward.
“Who was the blonde in the pictures?”
With deliberate slowness, he shook his head. “Someone who means nothing to me. Not even a friend, really. Mela, you have to trust me. You’re it. You’re my life sentence.” He winked and his blue eyes sparkled.
I took two more steps. The gun came back up, and I gritted my teeth, making a long groaning sound. He smiled.
“Why are you doing this? You’re not gonna shoot me.” I smiled.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. But you held this gun on me a couple of times. Hell, woman, you fired it in my direction!” He accused, cocking his brows. “And the reason you did that is because you thought I would hurt you.”
“You think I’m going to hurt you?”
&nbs
p; “You hurt me when you left, on a Harley, with another man.”
“That was my sister’s boyfriend.”
“I don’t care who it was.” There was a seriousness in his tone that I paid special attention to.
There were things about Jackson that I didn’t know. Things I wanted to understand. Like what it meant when he shoved his hand down in the front pocket of his jeans. Or when he shifted from one foot to the other. Or when he only grinned with one side of his mouth. I wanted to know all his little nuances.
“You lied to me,” I spoke just above a whisper.
“Yes. Even then, I was scared I’d lose you. But you lied too, Mela.”
Shocked, my eyes widened. “How did I lie?”
Even from where I stood, I saw his Adam’s apple jut out as he swallowed.
“You promised you’d never run. You did.”
My gaze left his. “I…I didn’t have a choice, Jackson.”
“You always have a choice. If something like that were to happen again, you can’t run. You said you wouldn’t…and you did.”
When I tightened my eyes, a single tear seeped out, trickling down my cheek. I didn’t want him to misconstrue my emotions for weakness. When I glanced at him, his expression was strained. The moment he caught sight of the lone tear, he rested the gun against the railing of the porch and bolted down the porch steps, rushing toward me.
Instantly, I was in his arms. The smell of sunshine and happiness flooded my nose. Desperation surged to get him as close as possible. At first I thought he moaned into my hair but realized he was humming.
“Mela.” Jackson exhaled a long breath.
I angled my neck back to see his face.
“I never want to be the reason a tear touches your face,” he said in a rough whisper. His eyes frantically searched my face.
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