by C. A. Harms
“Well, anyway,” she said, because apparently she got tired of waiting for a response from me. “Lauren said we should check it out, and boy I sure am glad I did. It’s been years since Granny here—” She pointed to her chest. “—got a kick-start like that. Those men wiggling around, shaking their things.” She wagged her eyebrows, and I suddenly felt like the room had gotten a little hotter, or maybe it was just my face. “The reason I’m asking is, what would be the chances of an old woman convincing a handsome devil like you to take me back to Dirty Harry’s? I picked up some ones when I went to the bank on Tuesday, and I’m itching to touch those saucy buns.” She grinned widely and winked at me.
I think I swallowed my tongue. I had no fucking clue how to respond to her. I mean, that was not what I had expected to come out of their Nana’s mouth.
“Nana,” Brook whispered, followed by a laugh she was trying to hide.
“What? It’s not like any of you will take me. I thought if I could convince this handsome hunk of meat to escort me, you all wouldn’t mind. I mean, he has a gun. Plus, he carries one on his holster too.” She wagged her eyebrows once more, and I was blown away. This tiny little fireball had stunned me into silence. Not only had she asked me to take her to a strip club, she cracked a dick joke too.
“I tried to warn you,” Marshall said, and Nana smiled proudly.
During the entire visit, Gabby didn’t say a word to me. She nodded or smiled when necessary, but that was it. As I sat next to her, holding her against my side, I could feel the frigid tenseness of her body. She had not relaxed into my side but remained board-straight.
At a break in the conversation, when people were moving around to get drinks or food or simply to stretch their legs, I decided to make a move. I leaned in a little closer, keeping my voice low.
“So you didn’t tell your family how big I screwed up today?” I asked.
“I didn’t see the point in making them all angry with you. It has nothing to do with them. So to answer your question, no, I didn’t tell my family that you blew me off today. They all still think you were there with me when we found out what we were having.” My strong girl tried to act like she was unaffected, but I knew different.
“Baby, I am so sorry, and I know that doesn’t make up for anything, but you have to know I would never blow you or our child off like that. I know you feel like I did, and I don’t blame you, sweetheart, but I truly am sorry. I fucked up big, and I don’t know how to fix this.” My heart was hammering in my chest.
“Did you sleep with her before or after we met?” Her question surprised me.
“What? Who?” I looked back at her in confusion and shifted on the couch to face her. “Gabby, what are you talking about?”
“That girl in your office earlier. I overheard you two talking and—”
“I never slept with Zara.” She flinched when I said the name, but I didn’t give her any time to think about it. “I met her when I was undercover.”
“After we met?” she asked, and I nodded. “So you fooled around with not only my sister but this girl too?”
“It wasn’t like that.” I was starting to panic once more. “Let me—”
Her family came back into the living room, interrupting me. I sat there feeling as if I had a fucking dump truck parked on my chest and there was nothing I could say. I was in a room of people who would skin me alive if they got any indication I had hurt Gabby in any way.
Chapter 26
Gabriella
I think Brook may have picked up on the tension between Josh and me. I’m sure it didn’t help that when we left Nana’s, I told him that he was riding with her. Being pregnant, I have found, makes it harder to hold your shit together. Normally I would come up with some snarky comment, something that would throw everyone off, but not now. Now all I wanted to do was drop-kick his ass and force him to understand how this was affecting me.
How would he feel if the tables were turned? How would he take it if I came to him and said, “Oh hey, by the way, today I made out with some guy. But it was only for show, no harm done.”?
I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be pleased.
I understood his job, I did. But I had a hard time accepting other women having their hands on him. It was hard enough to think about what my own sister had been forced to do to him. I still felt jealous whenever they were in the same room together, even though I knew they didn’t feel that way about each other.
Now I had to imagine Josh and that girl too.
My stomach twisted at the thought. I should have known when I walked into my building that Josh would be waiting. Hoping I would have time to myself was just wishful thinking. Gerald the doorman greeted me as I walked by him and went straight for the elevators.
“So are you just going to give me the silent treatment?” Josh asked as he stepped up behind me while I waited for the elevator to arrive. I could feel his warmth, he was so close, and his breath fanned out over my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Gabby. Please, will you just talk to me, yell at me, something?”
“I started out this day thinking it would be one of the best days of my life, and it just turned out to be the opposite. I wanted to share that moment with you, Josh. That was our time, but you couldn’t even spare an hour for me and the baby.” The elevator door slid open, and I stepped inside, then turned and watched as he followed. “I know you have a demanding job, I understand that completely. But I need to know if I’m going in alone, or if I can count on you.”
He moved in on me faster than I could prepare for, bracing a hand against the wall on either side of me, his face only inches from mine. “There is nothing or no one that will ever keep me from you or this baby. I’ll admit that today was completely my fault. I knew about that appointment for weeks, but I screwed up and there is nothing I can do to change that. But I promise you it will never happen again.”
His eyes remained locked on mine, and his intense stare made my stomach tighten. He looked as if he was fighting to hold himself together.
The elevator door dinged behind him, and I bent down and slipped underneath his arm. He let out a frustrated sigh, but I continued to move toward my apartment door, which I quickly unlocked, pushed open, and rushed through.
I could hear his boots against the floor as he followed close behind. “Damn it, Gabby, we need to talk about this.”
Brook looked up at us in confusion from her place on the floor in the living room with her textbooks scattered around her and a pen held between her teeth.
“Gabby,” Josh’s demanding voice ricocheted off the walls of the apartment, and I slowly turned around to face him, glaring up at this towering man that overpowered the room. He took a step toward me, his jaw ticking in that way it does when he is angry or agitated.
“I spent three months locked away from every person I love. Three months of fucking wondering if you were moving on without me, finding happiness with another man. Then when I found out you were carrying my child, I had to fight with everything inside of me not to come to you. Now you want to play this game of acting like I don’t want this.” His nostrils flared, and I stayed frozen in place, fighting my own anger. He was like a ticking time bomb ready to explode.
“That shit pisses me off,” he said through gritted teeth. “I fucked up. I know that. I should have been there today, and that is inexcusable. Nothing should have kept me away, but damn it, Gabby, I made a mistake. I got wrapped up at work. But don’t act as if I’m not here, like I don’t want this.”
“How can you expect me to feel otherwise? When you’re here, you’re not. We’re back to you slipping into bed next to me, putting your fuck-’em-and-leave-’em methods back to work. Most of the time I can be talking to you and it’s like you’re not even there.” My body shook with anger.
Brook still sat in the middle of the living room floor looking shocked and confused as her gaze shifted back and forth between Josh and me.
“You don’t understand what I’m up against, Gabby,”
he said, sounding defeated.
“That’s because you don’t talk to me. You never share things with me. How can I understand when you keep me in the dark?” He was always throwing that at me, that I didn’t understand. I was tired of it.
“I have a man running around the streets of New York City who wants me dead. Not ‘hidden away in some crappy-ass apartment on the west side of town’ dead, I mean truly fucking dead. He wants to make me pay for the way I flipped his shit upside down. I took away an operation he spent years building, and now he has nothing. He is a murderer, a rapist, and he loves to fucking torture people just for the fun of it.” My heart raced as he took in a deep breath.
“I can’t let him remain free, because as long as he roams the streets, I’m not safe, and the people I love aren’t safe. I fucked up, Gabby. I lost something today I can never fucking get back, and that shit sits on my shoulders. But never fucking throw that shit about me not being in this for you back in my face again. I’m here. I’m fucking in.”
His chest was heaving, and I chose to remain silent. I had nothing to say. Actually, that was a lie. I had plenty to say. I just felt it wasn’t wise to taunt the angry bull.
We both just stared at one another, waiting for the other to speak. When minutes passed and neither of us said anything, Josh turned around and walked right out the front door, which had remained open this entire time. I was sure the neighbors greatly appreciated the show.
Chapter 27
Josh
“You still in the doghouse?” Greyson asked as he flopped down in the chair across from me.
“Fuck you,” I said, refusing to even look in his direction. The bastard witnessed the entire altercation between Gabby and me earlier; not to mention Zara was here too. I felt like an ass the moment Gabby handed me the picture of our son. It was a fucking moment I should have been present for, and now the opportunity was gone.
She had every right to be pissed off. Hell, I was pissed off at myself.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened that kept you from being there?” Greyson wasn’t gonna let up.
“I got wrapped up in new information on Leo, and then Zara showed up out of nowhere,” I confessed as I placed the file I was currently going over onto my desk.
“What new information? And dude, I told you a long time ago to let that shit go with Zara. It was a mess in the making.” Greyson shook his head as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees.
“Do you have to be so smug about it?” Cocky little fucker was having one of those told-you-so moments.
“Hell yeah, man. Do you realize how long I’ve waited to be right about something you weren’t? So now that shit has happened, I just want to sit back and bask in the essence of its glory.” He grinned brightly, and I suddenly wanted to punch his face. Arrogant prick.
“So really, though, how is Gabby?” he asked, wiping away the smile. “She was pretty upset.”
“And she still is, with good reason. I fucked up big, Grey. I should’ve been there. I just hope she can forgive me.” That she wouldn’t was what worried me the most.
“Give her some time to cool off. Gabby loves you. She may be mad now, but she’ll forgive ya.” I know he was trying to be supportive, but I just wasn’t sure.
***
Hours, that was how long I gave her. I stayed at the office, and Trevor and I went through videos and audio interviews with the doormen and security team at the building that held Leo’s apartment. We had determined the female was around five-foot-six, give or take an inch due to the high heels she wore. She had blonde hair that hung just past her shoulders and walked with a slight limp.
No one in the building recognized her, and most said it was the first time they had seen anyone visit the apartment in months. We had already known that to be true due to surveillance we’d set up since they took me into custody. We had placed one of our men inside the security office of Leo’s building and had a second one posing as a maintenance man. Around-the-clock surveillance was hard to handle, but at least one of our men was there at all times. Plus we had men here at the office keeping tabs on the apartment too.
I wanted to make sure I gave Gabby time, hoping that maybe we could actually talk calmly. I fucking hated the sadness in her eyes, knowing that I was responsible for it. When I entered the apartment and found it dark, I was disappointed. Going to bed angry would never solve anything.
I had started to approach the bedroom when a voice startled me. “You’ve been gone a while.” On instinct I reached for my gun at my back before I realized it was Gabby. My heart raced as I looked through the dark room, barely making out the silhouette of her sitting on the end of the couch.
Laying my keys on the counter, I approached her and took a seat at her side. “What are you still doing up?” I was treading softly here. I had no idea what her current mood was, but I hoped the few hours away from each other would give us both the chance to be more rational.
“Couldn’t sleep.” I could tell she’d been crying, and it made me feel sick. “I’m sorry.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. What the hell could she possibly have to be sorry about?
“For what?” I asked.
“I wasn’t very reasonable earlier. I’m not going to blame it on hormones, but they do actually enhance my irritability. I just wasn’t thinking straight earlier, and then when I came to your office and found you there with that girl, I got a little Pregzilla.”
She smiled at her description of herself, and it made me smile too.
“Pregzilla?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah, it just seems fitting. I left the doctor upset about you not being there, and seeing you with her only made it worse. I let my mind get away from me and immediately thought the worst.” She pulled the blanket tighter against her chest. “I guess hearing her talk about something the two of you shared wasn’t on my list of to-dos for the day.”
I leaned back and placed my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Her head rested in the crook of my neck, and I took a moment to just feel her nearness; a moment to breathe her in.
“We didn’t share anything, Gabby. It was a job, a show that was forced and a lot less pleasurable than you envision.” She shifted at my side, but I refused to let her go. “It was shortly after I met you, the night after I found you confused over which wine to choose.”
“I wasn’t confused,” she whispered, and I grinned, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. I left my lips pressed against her for a few seconds before I continued.
“It was the first night I was undercover, and Leo brought in three women. Well, girls more than women. They were barely legal and terrified, and the sick son of a bitch used them as bargaining chips. It was sick.”
I hadn’t really planned on giving Gabby any details regarding that time, but right now my professional life and my private life were growing intertwined. I knew she needed to understand, so I would give her the clean version—well, the clipped version I should say, because nothing involving Leo is clean.
“He wanted a show. The asshole told them it was their job to take care of our needs, and they weren’t the only ones being tested. He wanted to see how Greyson, Mike, and I would react to them, and when we were led to a more private setting that was anything but private, we had to think fast.”
My throat felt tight. Gabby hadn’t spoken. She listened without moving, and not knowing what was rolling through her mind was driving me crazy, but I continued.
“Leo had the room set up with cameras, watching us. So Greyson and Mike each took a girl, and I was left with Zara. Somehow, by luck or maybe because someone was watching over us, we made it through the next hour without doing anything and were able to convince Leo and his men that we enjoyed their gifts.” I let out a breath as Gabby shifted in my arms.
Looking up at me in confusion, she asked “How is that possible? Something like that can’t be faked when you have cameras watching.”
I knew she would want detail
s, and it gutted me that I now needed to give her more. “We told the girls we had no intentions of having sex with them. They were all so innocent, and you could see the relief on their faces. We positioned ourselves in different places around the room where the camera couldn’t see us as well and used the furniture and long, sheer curtains to hide our movements. It wasn’t easy, but I couldn’t do the real thing, for more than just the obvious reasons.”
“Why?” she asked. I knew she already knew, but I understood she needed to hear them.
“Because I met you, and like I told you once before, meeting you changed everything.”
She stared up at me, the back of her head resting on my shoulder, and our eyes locked.
I lowered my lips to hers and prayed the explanation I had given her would be enough.
“How far did it go?” she whispered, and my heart sank.
Closing my eyes tightly, I let the silence set in as I tried to decide how to tell her. “Kissed,” I whispered. “Please don’t imagine something intimate and meaningful, because it was nothing resembling that.”
“Just tell me, please. I won’t understand unless you make me understand. Because I’m seeing the things you’re telling me not to. I’m imagining your hands on her, and hers on you. I’m hearing the—”
“I remained clothed from the waist down, and because we were on the couch and she was on my lap, she did most of the acting. Faking the whole scene between Zara and me was easy; we were hidden for the most part. But Grey and Mike weren’t so lucky. They did have to get undressed. But when you know you’re being watched and if you’re discovered, your life is in the hands of some sick fuck with more weapons than the entire city combined, you do what you have to do. That hour was one of the worst fucking hours of my life.” I wasn’t sure if I should continue, but I needed her to know how much that night fucked with my head. “I came here after, remember? The night I sort of called you out of the blue and we stayed up talking.”