"Will you talk to me?"
"When don't I?" Julia said, helping her hobble downstairs. "Any requests?"
"Tell me a story from before I was born. Tell me about the first time Dad asked you out."
Julia poured them both a mug of diet cola and then crouched to rummage in the freezer. If Laura wanted to hear tales she'd liked when she was little, perhaps that was her way of reassuring herself that their life together wouldn't change. "That was when I was trying to keep up with the computer revolution in the evenings after work," she said. "When the idea of a home computer still seemed like science fiction to most people. I used to go to the library and read all the latest stuff about computers, and I can't remember when I first noticed Jack, but I remember starting to hope he'd be on duty when I was there, and pretty soon I was doing my best to be there when he was. What's so funny?"
"Grown-ups."
"You'll be one soon and you can tell me if it's any different," Julia said, chopping vegetables. "So of course I always asked him if I needed help, and I don't need to tell you I was waiting for him to ask me out."
"Why didn't you ask him out?"
"I mustn't have been quite liberated enough. And it got to be a point of pride after a while, that he should do the asking. I remember going home some nights in a temper because he still hadn't. So I started asking him to bring more and more books to the table where I was working. I don't know if I was trying to pay him back for not noticing me or if I meant to push him until he'd have to protest probably both. Then I began to wonder if he was playing a joke on me instead of the other way round, and you can't imagine how furious that made me. Then one night I got caught in a storm on the way to the library and my new shoes were soaked, and I sat at the table with rain trickling down the back of my neck and told myself that if he brought me more books than I'd asked for this time I was going to poke him in the ribs and make him drop the lot. So I saw him staggering towards me with the highest pile of books I'd ever seen, and I really didn't think I was going to be able to keep my hands off him, and then he came out with his classic pick-up line..."
"Can I get you a towel?" Laura said before Julia could.
"To which the only response seemed to be "As well as all those books?" And we both started laughing, and I realised he was going to drop the pile of books that weren't for me at all, and he tried to catch them as they went, which was the worst juggling act I've ever seen... I don't know how we managed not to get thrown out of the library that night. But when it closed he walked me to the bus stop with an umbrella that didn't just open inside out but actually flew off the handle, and he asked me if I'd like to go somewhere else with him when it was dryer, and here we are."
"Tell me another story," Laura said, stretching out her leg on the bench.
Julia told her about her birth, at the moment of which the midwife had instructed Jack to wipe her forehead and then cried "Not the baby's head, you fool, your wife's'... She recalled the rainy morning when a Safeway assistant had wheeled her trolley out to the car park while she'd pushed Laura in the buggy, and she had been loading the boot of the car they used to own when Jack had followed her, convinced that the toddler asleep beneath the rain cover of the buggy he'd been pushing was Laura... "At least we've our memories when things get rough," she said.
"I've got you and Daddy, which is better than any old memories."
"No need to choose between us and them. It'll be the three of us for a long time yet, I hope," Julia said, and the phone rang.
She was wiping her hands when Laura swung her foot onto the floor. "I'll get it," she said as if she were determined to prove that she could, and limped quickly into the hall. Julia heard her say "Oh, hello," and then there was a protracted silence, broken only by occasional murmurs from Laura which could mean anything. After some minutes Laura returned to the kitchen. "It's Dad. I think he wants to speak to you. He sounds a bit peculiar."
"Drunk, do you mean?"
Laura looked uncertain. "Not like Dad."
Julia wiped her hands again and went to the phone. As she lifted the receiver it emitted a click which was either the fall of a coin or an indication that the call had been terminated. "Here I am, Jack," she said. Are you still there?"
There was no response, but also no dialling tone. Her question surely didn't require any pondering, yet several seconds passed before Jack said "Yes."
He didn't sound entirely convinced. "Is it fixed?" Julia said.
"Fixed?"
"Yes, fixed. The van."
"It didn't break down. It got me there."
"That's something to be thankful for then, isn't it? Is it fixed now, or have you got to leave it?"
"No." She was just about to lose her patience when he said "Not leaving it, no."
"Well then, are you coming home?"
A wind hooted across his mouthpiece, sounding lonely and chill. He must be phoning from somewhere in the open. "Are you sure you want me to?" he said.
"What are you asking me? We've never needed you more than we need you now. We've had the kind of talk girls have, if that's what you're wondering, but how can you ask a question like that? What's wrong with you, Jack?"
Silence, then the cold thin wind, and she closed her eyes and controlled herself. "I'm sorry, I'm being incredibly stupid. What's wrong with you is what happened to Laura. Don't stay out there brooding about it. We've survived everything else by staying together. If I made you feel I needed to be alone with Laura that's over and done with, I promise."
"It isn't your fault," he said almost piteously. "You haven't anything to blame yourself for."
And you certainly haven't. I'm not blaming you for anything, except for making me feel as though something else has gone wrong. If it has, tell me the worst. Tell me why you called, at any rate."
"I just wanted to hear your voice."
"Well, now you have. Wouldn't you rather have the rest of me as well?"
"You mightn't want," Jack muttered, but the wind blew away the rest of whatever he said.
"I don't want to have to worry about you, Jack, not on top of everything else. Please just come straight home and then you can say whatever you need to say, all right?"
"But if he said, and the receiver started to moan. His coins had run out. Julia hung up at once in case he called back, and gazed at the wall above the stairs, where a meaningless scrap of sunlight was climbing. "Was he drunk?" Laura said.
"Just upset, I think. Never mind, he's on his way home," Julia told her, and walked slowly back to the kitchen. She was pouring Laura another drink when someone knocked hard at the front door.
If it was Jack, he had either driven so fast she didn't like to think about it or had phoned from so close to home it would have been a joke. When she stepped into the hall she saw two figures silhouetted on the frosted pane of the front door. Perhaps they were house-hunters, but their arrival hard on Jack's call seemed inexplicably ominous. She sent herself along the hall and took hold of the latch. The door swung inwards, catching on a corner of the doormat, and she had to turn the mat over, raising dust like a residue of ash, before she could open the door wide. She had already seen that her visitors were Jody Venable and her father Pete.
He put a finger to his lips. "Is this a good time?"
"For what, Pete?"
He undoubtedly meant well, but his behaviour didn't do much for her nerves. When Jody covered her mouth Julia saw that she was carrying an envelope. "If that's a card for Laura, Jody, she's awake. Come in and see her if you like."
"Hi, Jody," Laura called.
Jody winced at the sight of her, but said "You look like a pirate with an eye-patch. We all bought you a card, our class did."
"Let's see," Laura said and limped into the front room, Jody following. Julia stepped back further, tramping on the corner of the doormat. "Come with me while I get Jody a drink."
As soon as Pete was in the kitchen his demeanour changed. "I still can't believe what happened. Have the police been in touch yet?
Have they got hold of whoever it was?"
"We know where they live, and we've told the police."
"How many of the swine were there?"
"Three, Laura says."
"Bloody Christ. Beg pardon," he said as though he'd belched. "The teacher told the class that Laura had been mugged, but I didn't think it could be this bad. If it was Jody I'm afraid I'd need locking up or I'd be going round to give them worse than they gave her. It's a good job Jack doesn't have a temper. Is he home?"
"Not just now."
"Any idea when?"
"Soon, I hope."
"I wouldn't mind waiting for him."
"Stay as long as you like."
The trouble is I can't. We're one girl down at the Experience. Shall we give him fifteen minutes?" Pete said, and took Jody her drink.
He waited longer. When Julia carried mugs of coffee for him and herself into the front room he was glancing at his watch. His muffled impatience aggravated her anxiety about Jack. Surely he was coming home, but how far did Jack have to drive? Pete gulped the last of his coffee and thumped the carpet with the mug, and peeled back his cuff again to consult his watch. "What do you think, Jody? Shall we?"
"Aren't we waiting for Laura's dad?"
"We could wait for ever at this rate." He gave Julia an apologetic smile. "Julia can tell him."
"Whatever you say," Julia said, willing him to come to the point.
"You remember last time you were at the Experience."
"It was lovely."
Are you listening, Laura?" Jody said.
Laura looked up from her Get Well Soon card, which depicted a clown with his leg in traction. "I am now."
"You remember getting a bill we didn't want you to pay," Pete said.
"We would have," Julia assured him.
Pete shook his head. "Do you remember something else, Laura?"
"What about?"
That night."
"You telling my dad about the job at our school."
"You're right, that was then too. I don't suppose there's any such thing as a perfect day," Pete said to Julia, and seemed about to apologise for reminding her when Laura cried "The competition you said our bill was going in."
"Yes," Jody responded at the same pitch.
"You mean we've—"
"You're the lucky winners," Pete said. "Your bill was the one that came out of the hat. You've won yourselves a holiday in Greece."
"Crete," Laura said as though she were dreaming.
"We thought that might be where you'd want to go."
Julia felt light-headed, almost drunk. "That's wonderful, Pete. Just what we needed. How many people is it for?"
"All three of you, of course."
"It was always for three people?"
"It might have been up to four, depending how many there were on the bill. So you've saved us some money," he said with an exaggerated wink.
"I don't know how we can thank you, Pete."
"You just did," he said, nodding at Laura, and stood up. "I really have to go. I'm only sorry I couldn't see Jack's face. I'll be giving you a voucher for the travel agent. Look after yourselves in the meantime."
Jody lingered until he reminded her she had school homework. As she headed uphill while Pete made for the sea front the Orchards stayed at the gate as if doing so might conjure up Jack. When a wind started the For Sale sign creaking Julia said "Let's go inside. Better keep warm."
She couldn't help wishing she had heard from Pete before Jack had called; then she would have been able to tell him she knew a secret which he had to come home to learn. She didn't need to tempt him home, there was nowhere else for him. She collected the mugs, and was running hot water into them from the kitchen tap when Laura shouted "Here's Dad."
Julia heard the engine die as she turned off the tap. Laura's footsteps hobbled to the front door. By the time Julia reached the threshold Laura was at the van and pulling at Jack's door with both hands. "Dad, you've got to be happy or we won't tell you our news."
He stared at her as though he wasn't quite sure what he was seeing. He jumped down so suddenly that she almost lost her balance. "Is this happy?" he said, going pop-eyed and sticking his fingers in the corners of his mouth to produce a toothy grin. "How about this?" he said and started prancing around the van, lifting his knees high and slapping them each time they came up. "Am I happy yet? Am I a happy?" he cried, sticking his tongue through his fixed grin and lolling his head from shoulder to shoulder.
Laura giggled and glanced about in case the neighbours saw him. "Dad..."
Julia caught up with him on the far side of the van from Laura. "Jack, don't spoil it for her."
He halted, breathing hard, and leaned against the vehicle. When his eyes returned to normal and his tongue retreated between his lips his face appeared to be collapsing. "Why, is there something to spoil?"
"Let Laura tell you." As he mopped his forehead Julia said "You'll be all right, won't you? Can I help?"
"No, no," he said, so fast it sounded like stammering, and capered around the van to Laura. "Ready as I'll ever be."
"Dad, what do you think? We're going to Crete."
"What, now? That's an idea."
"Not now, silly. In the summer holidays. We've won the competition at the restaurant."
All three of us, Jack," Julia said, putting both arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder.
"But we didn't pay. I don't see how..." He seemed stunned and confused. He lurched against her, then abruptly straightened up. "When did you hear?"
"Pete and Jody have only this minute gone."
"Did he say when they made the draw?"
"Sometime today, I imagine. I shouldn't think they waited long to come and tell us. Does it matter?"
Jack squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm trying to work out when our luck changed," he said, and swayed against her. "My God, is that what it takes?"
"I know what you mean."
"What are you doing inside my head?"
He'd straightened again and was staring at her. "All it took was for the Venables to pick us. Try and calm down, Jack," she said, glimpsing Laura's disappointed expression as the girl went into the house, and wrinkled her nose. "Do you want to get changed? You smell of where you've been."
He recoiled, flapping his hands at himself, his face twisting into a disgusted grin. "How's that?"
"Don't worry, Jack, I can't smell any fancy woman's perfume. Just petrol and smoke. Was something on fire?"
He grasped the handle on the driver's side as if he meant to climb into the van. "My bridges," he said wildly.
"Jack, if there's anything you need to tell me you can, whatever it is."
"I'd never do anything to hurt either of you."
That's one thing you don't need to tell me," Julia said, and wondered if he had meant it as some kind of answer, his ensuing silence was so protracted. At last he mumbled "But I'd do anything I thought I had to for you."
"I really don't think you need to do any more just now except be with us."
He hadn't let go of the van. He was staring across the mounds of the Crazy Golf course at smoke bulging from the funnel of a tanker on the bay. Suddenly, dismayingly, she wondered if she knew why he wasn't looking at her. "Jack, you didn't go after the Evans boys, did you?"
"No."
"I wasn't suggesting you should have. Let the law take care of them and we'll take care of one another." She shouldn't have asked, she thought; reminding him of the Evanses seemed to have made him feel helpless. "If by burning your bridges you meant giving up the shop and going back into libraries, you ought to know I couldn't be happier. I'm sure it's best for all of us."
She let him gaze at the creeping smoke for a few seconds, then she said "Are you going to let Laura see how pleased you are for her?"
He seized on that as if the idea had only just reached him.
"I should," he said, and blundered up the path, dragging his sweater over his head.
He s
eemed revived. It wasn't long before he came downstairs bearing the clothes he'd changed out of and the contents of the washing basket, and he would have stuffed all this indiscriminately into the machine if Julia hadn't stopped him. "They aren't that urgent," she said.
"You know me, Square Eyes Orchard. I'd watch an hour of water if the telly wasn't working," he said, gazing expectantly at the machine until she had to laugh and load his smelly clothes in. "That's great," he said to Laura. "Really great, going to Crete. Really Crete. Really Greek. I'm chuffed that you'll be going after all."
"You'll be coming too."
"Will I? There's always a drawback." He grinned at her with one side of his face. "Don't mind me. Just a clown with too much patter. You know clowns aren't supposed to talk. Tell you what, why don't we go and say thank you and see what nationality the Venables are now."
"I've already made dinner, Jack," Julia protested. "We can go and celebrate at the weekend. It'll wait."
"Hope so. Where's your tape?" he asked Laura.
When he calmed down sufficiently to make it clear that he meant Jody's, she fetched it and her player from her bedroom. As the bouzouki music filled the front room he sat and gazed from the window as if he could see Greece. Only his head moved, turning to watch the occasional car that passed along the darkening street. A car slowed as it approached the house, and Jack rose into a stiff crouch above the chair, but the car was giving way to another vehicle. Their brake lights glared red, and then they were past. "Not for us," he said, sinking into the chair.
"It's a bit late for house-hunters," Julia said.
"Later than you think," he said, and added quickly "Not than Laura thinks. She thinks it's time for dinner."
At first he picked at his food, then he began to eat as though he were miming hunger. Between mouthfuls he announced what was visible in the window of the machine
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