“Tired?”
“I didn’t sleep much.”
“Strange, neither did I.”
“I know.”
He cut a look at her before retuning to the street.
“I saw you out on the rocks,” she said.
“Why didn’t you come to me instead of hying off to Newport?”
“I don’t know. You looked so angry. And I didn’t know what to say or how to fix it.”
“I wasn’t angry. Okay maybe I was angry, but not at you.”
“At Nora?”
“I’m a little pissed at Nora. Mainly I was just angry at the fates that were suddenly playing fast and loose with our future.”
Meri smiled at him.
“I know, I think I’m a little crazy, too.”
“You’re not crazy at all. You’re the love of my life. Look, someone’s coming out of a space up there.”
“Miracle of miracles. I wasn’t relishing driving around forever trying to find a parking space while trying not to start a conversation until we could just talk with no interruptions.”
“Me neither.”
He pulled alongside the recently vacated spot and backed in.
“Pretty impressive how you squeezed this big car into that little space.”
“I had incentive.”
“Coffee?”
He shook his head, amused. “Get out.”
They walked up the sidewalk arm in arm, and if Meri’s stomach hadn’t been bouncing around like a free radical, she would have enjoyed the walk.
Though she did calm down as they turned into her apartment building , an old house converted into apartments that was in walking distance of just about everything but the mansions.
As soon as they were inside, Alden threw his jacket on the couch arm and went into her little kitchen to make coffee. Meri began to get nervous again. Usually he hung his coat up in the closet, so maybe he just really needed coffee. Or was he planning for a quick getaway?
Meri picked it up and hung up both their coats. She came up behind him and put her arms around his waist while he watched the coffee carafe.
“I’m taking it that it isn’t me you’re upset with?” he asked.
She rested her head against his back. “I’m not upset at anyone. Just suddenly I’m not sure about what we’re doing.”
He turned and put both arms around her. “Because Nora wants to go live with her mother?”
“Why? She never said anything about it. I thought she was totally on board with the wedding. She’s been over at Gran’s every day making plans. We were going shopping on Saturday. What happened?”
The coffee beeped and he got two mugs down from the cabinet. “She said it was no big deal, that school was boring and she wanted to graduate with her friends in New Haven.”
“Did you believe her?”
“Not really, but why else would she want to go home? She knows you and I and Gran love her and want her here.”
“Are you sure she knows?”
“Aren’t you?”
“No,” Meri said. “I’m not sure of anything suddenly. Here Nora is suddenly leaving home, and I think it’s because of me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. She loves you.”
“As somebody she hangs out with occasionally. But what about being like a parent? What if I mess up? She could have told me what was bothering her but she didn’t. What if she needs help and I miss the cues. And—”
“Stop it.” He had been about to hand her a mug, but put it down on the counter. Took her shoulders, squeezed them. “You don’t have to be a mother. To Nora or Lucas or even to whatever might come down the road. And Nora is smart enough to know we both love her.”
“Now maybe, but what if they come to resent me for taking you away from them?”
“What kind of television have you been watching?”
“I just don’t want to come between the three of you. They’ve lived so long without you, now Nora’s willing to go back to a place she hated, what else could it be? Why didn’t I just ask her what she was feeling? I just took it for granted she was as happy as I was.”
“She was. I’m sure of it.”
“Then what happened? What did she say last night?”
“What I just told you about school, and she refused to go to school today. I didn’t argue but left her with Gran. Maybe she’ll talk some sense into her.”
“What about Lucas, he hasn’t even been around?”
“He’ll cope, he always does. He was fine with it when we told him. Later, he told me he thought it was a good idea, since Nora would be leaving soon and he thought I should have someone to keep me company. I felt ancient.” He smiled slowly. “For about a second, then, I thought of you keeping me company and I was myself again.”
“Maybe we should just stay like we are.”
“And what is that?”
“You know . . . this.”
“Standing in your kitchen while our coffee gets cold listening to you talking nonsense?”
“It doesn’t feel like nonsense.”
“I know. I didn’t mean to make light of it. I’ve waited my whole life to have my family together. And now I’m close. I’m nervous, too.”
“I’m not even your family.”
“Of course you are. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were mine.” He grinned. “Those pink little toes, that soft baby bum.”
“Stop it.” He made her laugh, and this was too serious to laugh about.
“Now it’s just a question of making it legal.”
“But what if it isn’t even legal?”
“Dammit, Meri. Are you looking for impediments? It’s legal enough for me. But if you’re looking for a way out, just say so.”
“No. I’m not. I just want it to be perfect.”
He huffed out a sigh. “Right now, I just want it to be. Come on, you’ve never been a fraidy cat before.”
She felt a smile start but wasn’t sure it if would lead to laughter or tears. “What if we end up getting a divorce and hate each other?”
“We’ve had fights before, we’ve always found our way back, we will again.”
“But—”
Alden moved away. “No more buts. Either you love me and want to marry me or you don’t. You decide. But Meri, this is it. If you decide you don’t want me, it’s forever. I won’t be coming back. I’m finished with waiting.”
She stared at him.
He brushed past her, went straight to the coat closet and yanked his coat off the hanger.
Meri found her voice. “Alden. Stop. What are you doing?” She hurried toward him, but he already had his hand on the doorknob.
“Alden, you know I love you.”
“Then make a decision.”
“But what about Nora?”
He didn’t answer, just opened the door, then slammed it as he left.
“WHERE IS HE? Why aren’t they answering their phones?” Nora placed her own cell phone on the kitchen table and stared at it. She felt like breaking the stupid thing, but it cost big bucks and maybe Meri or her dad would call. It was already dark and no one had called.
“Gran? Can’t you do something?”
Gran shook her head. “It’s in their hands. But I think you should tell your dad what you’ve told me.”
Nora crossed her arms on the table and buried her head. “I should never have come. He was happy until I showed up.”
“Nora. Cut this nonsense out at once. You’re not responsible for anything except having really poor timing and not trusting your father and Meri enough to tell them what your fears were.”
Nora peered up at Gran. “I was trying to do the right thing.”
“I know you were. You were going to sacrifice living here so you wouldn’t be in the way.
And the fact that you could even think that way makes me want to smack your mother. Though I know I shouldn’t say that. But so help me she makes me angry.
“And furthermore you won’t be going back there at any cost. Consequences indeed. You can live here if you don’t want to live with Meri and Alden, but you’re not going back to that house.”
“But I really do want to live with Dad and Meri.”
“Then tell them so.”
“What if it’s too late?” Nora waited for Gran to tell her that it was never too late to make things right, but she didn’t. She didn’t say anything.
Gran was looking out the window. “If it is, we’ll think of something else.”
Just then a light flashed in the through the window. They both ran to the kitchen door. The SUV was bouncing over the track that led to the farm.
“Do you see Meri? Is she with him?”
Gran craned her neck. “I can’t see. Go sit down. And stay calm.”
“You don’t see her, do you?”
“Nora, sit down and control yourself. We’ve had quite enough excitement for one day.”
It took forever before Nora heard the car door slam, the back door open and close. And her dad walked in—alone.
Nora forgot she was supposed to be calm.
“Where is she?”
“In Newport.”
Gran reached into the cabinet and brought out a wineglass that she filled and put on the table. She kept her eyes on Alden.
“Why didn’t she come back?”
“She said she needed to think.”
“It’s because of me saying I was going to live with mom, isn’t it?”
“That was just the catalyst.”
“I’m sorry.” She glanced at Gran.
“Go on and tell him what you told me.”
“I don’t want to live in New Haven.”
“Then why the hell did you—”
“Alden, listen to your daughter, and hear her out before you interrupt again.”
Alden sat down, laced his fingers and rested his hands on the kitchen table like a dutiful student.
“People kept asking me if I would be going back to Mom after you and Meri got married. They thought it was weird that you’d want me to stay.”
“What people?”
“Alameda from the gift shop, and some of the girls at the shower were surprised that I was staying. They all thought you two would want to be alone.”
“For Chr—”
“Alden.” Gran shook her finger at him.
“So I called Lucas and he had all these statistics about . . . stuff. You know, like divorces and starting new families, and he said it would be just like living with Mark and Mom once you and Meri . . . got married and started—” She blushed, she couldn’t help it. “You know. Your own family. Lucas doesn’t act like he’s living in this world, but he is, and he’s a lot smarter than I am.”
“So Lucas doesn’t want us to get married?”
Nora frowned. “He didn’t say that. He just said what would happen. And I know I’ll be going to college or something soon, and I wouldn’t have said anything until after the wedding because I don’t want to mess up things between you and Meri, but Lizzie from the glass studio had saved me a place in her glass class for next semester and I didn’t think it was fair not to tell her. I didn’t think anyone would hear.”
“Why didn’t you just ask us?” Alden said.
“I would have, but I didn’t want to be ungrateful.”
“Ungrateful?”
“That you took me in.”
“What? Nora, you’re my daughter, this is your home. Where the hell did you get that idea?”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking too straight. I wanted to ask Gran but I knew she would tell me I was wanted, because she’d have to.”
Gran held up her hand to Alden. “I’ve already straightened her out on that point.”
“So I—now don’t get mad—I called Mom.”
“What?” Alden reared up from his seat, but Gran pushed him back down.
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Nora’s voice rose until the last words were like a plea.
Alden shot his fingers through his hair. “I should have recognized her hand in this mess. You couldn’t just ask me?”
“I know you would want me to stay. And I’m pretty sure Meri would want me to stay. But Mom said there’s no room for teenagers in a new marriage. And that I would be in the way. And she said I was an ungrateful, spoiled girl and I could come back, but there would be consequences.” Nora’s face twisted and she started to cry. “But I didn’t care. It would only be until I turned eighteen and then I could move out and she couldn’t stop me.”
Alden leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face with both hands.
“Don’t be mad,” she begged. “I know I’ve ruined everything. I’ll pack and leave today. Just tell Meri to come back.”
Her dad’s shoulders began to shake. She’d never seen him cry before, ever.
“Daddy,” she wailed. “Please don’t be sad.”
He shook his head and uncovered his face.
He wasn’t crying, he was laughing, but not the funny kind of laughing. “What did I do in a former life to deserve two such remarkable, infuriating women that I can’t live without?”
Nora stared.
Gran smiled.
Alden pulled himself together.
“You’ll go get her and make her come home?” Nora asked.
“No.”
“But Dad—”
“Nora, I brought your mother here against her will. I thought she would get to like it here, but she didn’t. I won’t make the same mistake with Meri.”
“But Meri loves it here.”
“She’ll come to her decision without us.”
“But what if it’s the wrong decision?”
“Then we’ll all learn to live with it.”
Chapter 9
MERI HAD TRIED to pull herself together before meeting Carlyn at their favorite pub for dinner. Hopefully, she looked better than she felt.
She still couldn’t believe that Alden drove all this way and then just left before they had a chance to really talk things out.
It was still early when she set out for Mike’s. The pub was only a few blocks away, and Meri decided to walk. She’d been spending so much time out at the farm and working that she hadn’t had a chance to enjoy Newport at its most festive.
The houses were draped in pine boughs and wreaths. Candles lit every window. Store windows were trimmed in lights and greenery. Happy. This was a happy season. A season of fruition and celebration of the new. A time of promise. Of hope.
She had thought it was the perfect time for a wedding, the changing of one life and joining with another. A perfect time. Until the bridal shower.
And it wasn’t just Nora. If that was the only issue, Meri would have sat her down and they would have talked it out.
No. Nora’s defection had unleashed all the ifs that Meri had refused to look at before. Things she wasn’t sure of. And now Alden had given her an ultimatum. She knew Alden. Understood now that he’d wanted this all along. And now she had to decide or lose him forever. It would have sounded corny coming from anyone else. But not Alden.
He’d been patient with her, waited for her to grow up, stood back while she created her own life and had loved her unconditionally all the while.
How could she ever live up to his expectations?
MIKE’S WAS A small neighborhood bar in the basement of a white clapboard federal house circa 1774. The basement window was framed in colored lights with a dancing Santa standing on the ledge.
Meri opened the heavy wooden door and stepped into the bar. The jukebox played oldies and Irish folk songs, depending on
the crowd. Tonight it was playing something slow, mournful, sung by a fine tenor voice with a harp as accompaniment.
And she’d been hoping for something a little more lively, like “Jingle Bell Rock.”
Carlyn was sitting in a booth against the far wall. The place was pretty crowded, but the music had a subduing affect, so Mike McGee’s welcome had everyone turning around and looking to see who had come in.
Meri waved back, ducked her head and hurried across the room to slide into the booth opposite Carlyn. There were two glasses of red wine on the table.
“Girlfriend, you look like shit. I really didn’t think you’d be here for dinner.”
“That’s okay, I’ll pay for my own burger.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Carlyn lifted her hand and a waitress wearing felt reindeer antlers came over to the table.
They ordered their usual giant cheese burgers, juicy and fire grilled, and an order of onion rings to share. “To round out the vegetable pyramid,” Carlyn said. “Now tell me what happened? Or should I ask what didn’t happen?”
Meri took a sip of wine. She hadn’t eaten all day and it set off a burning in her stomach. Great, she was probably giving herself an ulcer over all this.
“Well?”
“We went back to my apartment.”
“Good,” Carlyn said. “That’s good, right?”
“He made coffee.”
“Oo-kay. And?”
“We were standing there, and everything seemed fine, but then we started talking and I told him all the stuff I was worried about. Like Nora, and how everything might change, and other stuff. And he was all like fine and saying it would be okay. And then—”
Meri thought back. She’d spent the afternoon thinking about that final exit. “I said something about what if we ended up hating each other and getting a divorce.”
“Oh Lord, Meri. That’s the chance you take. It’s called life. What did he say to that?”
“He told me to make up my mind and whatever I decided would be that—forever.”
“What? I totally didn’t understand that.”
“He said—” She really didn’t want to share this, even with Carlyn. But she needed Carlyn’s down-to-earth perspective. And besides, they were best friends. “He said either I loved him or didn’t and I had to decide. But that if I decided I didn’t want him, it would be forever. Or something like that—I was so stunned. Then he said he was finished with waiting. And he turned around and left.”
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