by Marta Perry
Seth stroked his son’s hair. “There aren’t any guarantees, in any event. His mother wasn’t doing anything dangerous when we lost her.” A muscle twitched in his jaw. “Just driving to the mall.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice clutched with grief. She’d never have a chance to make up to Lisa for her failures.
“Thanks.” His hand covered hers. “It’s good of you to care.”
The longing to tell him why she cared swept over her, almost overpowering her judgment.
“Are you giving that child cake again?” Siobhan’s voice interrupted whatever she might have said. She reached over Seth’s shoulder to wipe frosting from Davy’s chin. “He’s already had dessert. Twice.”
“Mom, it’s a special event.”
“That’s what you always say. You just never want to tell him no.”
It was such an echo of what she’d said to him earlier that she looked up, startled.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said with mock severity. He looked at his mother. “Julie thinks I’m too fond of being a pal to everyone.”
“I never said that,” she protested.
Siobhan smiled. “Julie is a wise woman. You ought to listen to her.”
Siobhan’s gaze rested on their clasped hands, making Julie very aware of his touch. Then she whisked away.
Seth wasn’t sure where to look after his mother’s comment. Anywhere but at Julie, that was for sure. He shoved the cake away from Davy, ignoring his protests.
“Why don’t we go find something more nutritious to eat?” he suggested.
Julie would probably make some excuse to leave the fair, and he couldn’t blame her. Mom had been unusually heavy-handed in her matchmaking efforts.
“Good idea. We might find something to counteract the cake and get you out of trouble with your mother.”
Julie stood, then bent over Davy with a napkin in her hand. Her hair flowed like silk over his arm as she wiped the last bit of cake from Davy’s face. She tapped the tip of Davy’s nose with the napkin, and he grinned at her.
Seth nodded, relieved that she wasn’t running for the exit. “We have to spend money, in any event. The family can’t rebuild on good wishes.”
They walked along the row of stalls offering everything from games to potholders to homemade candy. Church members had outdone themselves this time.
Davy, walking between them, held his hand out to Julie, and she took it, a smile trembling on her lips as she looked at his father.
Davy swung their linked hands, seeming content to watch the crowd. Seth glanced at Julie. This was nice. He didn’t know that he’d walked with Davy and a woman this way before. If Lisa had lived, they’d have been doing this. The thought was tinged with sorrow, but not with the weight of grief he’d carried for so long. Maybe he was ready to move on.
But not with Julie. With her casual khakis and that soft aqua sweater, she might look as if she belonged here, but she didn’t.
As if she felt his gaze on her, Julie sent him a questioning look. “Did you fight that fire?”
“Yes.” She was still looking at him, waiting for more. “A two-story wooden structure, heavily involved by the time the alarm came in. We couldn’t save the house, but everyone got out okay, even the family cat.” He smiled, remembering. “We found it hiding under what was left of the kids’ play set in the yard. That was one lucky cat.”
“I guess so. Brendan said they lost everything.”
“Pretty much. We pulled out a few pieces of living-room furniture, but that was all we could get.” He could hear the regret in his tone.
“You’d have liked to have done more.”
He nodded. “Still, they were fortunate. You can always replace property. People are more important than things.”
The flash of pain that crossed her face startled him.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” He stopped, looking into her green eyes, wanting to fix it, whatever it was. People flowed past them, but that didn’t matter.
“Julie?” His fingers brushed her wrist, and he had to fight the urge to hold her hand.
She blinked, then shook her head. “Sorry. I don’t know why what you said affected me that way. I was just thinking that my family had the opposite philosophy. My parents put things first, then people.”
“I’m sorry.” They must have hurt her badly, those parents, to put that look of pain in her eyes.
“Well, that’s the past. It’s better not to dwell on it.” A faint flush tinged her cheeks, and the smile she attempted didn’t quite make it to her eyes.
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed.” He wanted to know more, but this didn’t seem the time or the place.
She seemed to pull into herself. “I don’t like to reveal myself to the subject of an article. The focus should be on them, not me.”
He thought again of the way she seemed to hide behind her camera. “Isn’t it okay to show something of yourself to a friend?”
She glanced up at him, startled, her eyes unguarded. His breath seemed to get caught somewhere in his throat. For a moment it was as if they were the only people in the crowded gym.
“I guess. To a friend.” Her voice was a breathless whisper that touched his soul.
He was getting interested, way too interested, in Julie. She wasn’t the cool customer he’d thought her to be when they’d first met. He couldn’t just dismiss her.
But he couldn’t let himself start caring about her, either. She wasn’t for him.
Julie would be leaving Suffolk as soon as her job was finished. So there couldn’t be anything between them.
That was starting to matter more than it should.
If she kept her focus strictly on the computer screen, Julie decided, she wouldn’t notice whether Seth came into the firehouse kitchen or not. The article, despite her intent to use it simply as a subterfuge, was turning out to be surprisingly good. Maybe it should see the light of day.
Her fingers paused on the keyboard. Was that wise? If her father saw the piece, was there any way the information could lead him to learn of Davy’s existence?
She grappled with that. As far as she knew, her father had never had the slightest interest in what had happened to Lisa after she’d left home. He had wiped her from his life as if she were an unfortunate investment. The chance that he knew who she’d married was slight.
She pressed her lips together. No. Even the slightest chance wasn’t worth taking the risk of disturbing Davy’s happy life or bringing grief on the Flanagan family. And it was too easy to let something slip, as she’d found out at the church fair.
How on earth had she dropped her guard with Seth, of all people? She shouldn’t have said one word about her parents. It wasn’t simply a question of raising Seth’s suspicions about her, although that was serious enough. She just didn’t open her heart that way.
I know I can open my heart to You, Father. I can’t seem to get past my fears enough to open it to others.
What would Pastor Brendan say to that spiritual problem? He’d probably have some wise advice, but she’d never know what that would be.
She had to leave Suffolk soon. She’d already known that, and those unguarded moments with Seth had made it abundantly clear. The memories she’d already made of Davy were all she was going to have.
Her throat tightened at the thought, and she had to blink tears from her eyes. She’d never realized how lonely her life was until she’d come to Suffolk and met the Flanagan family. She’d never realized how much she could love a child until she’d come face-to-face with Davy. And now it had to end.
A few more days, that was all. However long it took to go on a fire call with Seth’s squad. She’d promised herself that. She glanced at the round clock on the wall above the refrigerator. Would it be today?
Davy’s birthday party was this evening. She would have that to remember, at least. The train set she’d bought for him was already wrapped. No one would know how bittersweet it had been to choose that gift, knowing it mi
ght be the only one she’d ever buy for him.
Footsteps crossed the rec room, accented by voices. She recognized Seth’s easy tone, and her breath quickened in a way that was becoming too familiar.
Terry came in first, followed by Seth and Dave Hanratty. Terry was talking over her shoulder to them, her lively face animated. Terry seemed to do everything with zest.
“All I’m saying is, it wouldn’t hurt any of you guys to take a few extra courses. You’d be amazed at how much you don’t know.”
Dave snorted. “I already know how much I don’t know. You’re just trying to make me feel worse.” He grinned at Julie. “Julie’s here. Is it too much to hope you made the coffee today?”
She returned the smile and waved at the pot. “Help yourself. I even brought you a couple of pounds of the good stuff.”
Odd, how good their acceptance of her made her feel. It wasn’t her. They were friendly to everyone.
“You’ll just spoil him,” Seth said. “He doesn’t know the difference, anyway.”
Dave poured coffee into mugs. “I’m learning. If we keep Julie around long enough, I might become a connoisseur.”
Terry snorted with laughter. “Yeah, and I might run for president.”
She’d miss this interaction when she’d gone back to her normal life. She’d always thought she liked working alone, but she’d never known the kind of camaraderie the firefighters enjoyed.
“You’re not leaving any time soon, are you, Julie?” Dave leaned over to look at the photos on her screen. “We’re just getting used to having you here.”
She sensed Seth’s sharpened attention. Because he wanted her to go, or because he wanted her to stay?
The answer to that didn’t really matter. She had to go, and Seth could never know why.
“I’ll be around a few more days.” She kept her voice even with an effort. “I can’t give up my big chance to see you guys in action.”
“You’re seeing the usual routine,” Seth said. He propped himself against the refrigerator in his usual easy way. “Somebody called firefighting days of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror.”
“Any more coffee in that pot?” The brigade chief paused in the doorway, a clipboard in his hand.
She hadn’t seen as much of O’Malley as she had the others, but Julie found the man vaguely familiar, all the same. He reminded her of Seth’s father, she realized. Same white hair, same air of authority, same comfortable sense of being in control of the situation.
“Sure thing.” Seth poured a mug and handed it over.
O’Malley wrapped beefy fingers around the mug. “So, you getting a new car, are you, Seth?”
“A new car?” Seth looked at him blankly. “I haven’t finished paying for the one I have.”
O’Malley frowned. “That’s funny. You sure you haven’t applied for a loan?”
“Believe me, that’s something I’d know.”
Julie glanced from Seth to O’Malley, feeling an odd sense of foreboding. What was going on? She didn’t have the right to ask.
O’Malley set his mug onto the scarred tabletop. “That’s funny. Somebody called the office earlier. Said he was confirming your job status for a loan.”
Seth shook his head. “That’s weird. What did you tell him?”
“I just confirmed that you worked here. He started asking some other questions, but I cut him off. Told him to submit them in writing.”
Seth looked puzzled; O’Malley looked faintly concerned. Neither of them seemed to feel the worry that crept along Julie’s nerves, bringing every sense to attention.
Seth shrugged. “Probably some new gimmick to offer loans or credit cards. You didn’t give him my social security number, did you?”
“What do you take me for?”
“That’s okay then. If he calls back, tell him to take a hike.”
Seth wasn’t worried. Of course he wasn’t. Someone as open and honest as he was didn’t suspect deviousness of others.
She knew better. She was deceiving him, wasn’t she? A shiver went down her spine. Her father never hesitated to deceive if it got him something he wanted.
That was ridiculous. Her father couldn’t know about Seth or Davy.
Just the thought of Davy ratcheted her tension level upwards. She ought to say something to Seth, something to put him on guard against unexplained phone calls.
But what? She couldn’t warn him without giving herself away, and it might all be for nothing. He could be right about that odd call. Besides—
The alarm went off. She froze for a moment, mind processing what it was.
The rest of them were already moving, putting down cups and going to the pole with swift, efficient movements. She stood, her heart pounding. This was it.
Seth grabbed the pole, his gaze meeting hers. His face had tightened. “Still sure you want to do this?”
She nodded, not trusting her voice.
“Let’s go, then.” He wrapped his legs around the pole and disappeared from sight.
Chapter Seven
Seth had probably hoped this call would lead to something as insignificant as a trash fire. Then he could say that he’d fulfilled his promise to her.
She took a breath, trying not to choke on the dense smoke that shrouded half a city block. If he had hoped that, he’d been disappointed. This time the fire alarm had been the real thing.
She took a cautious step, watching her footing in the tangle of hoses and debris, and aimed the camera at a window belching thick smoke. It wasn’t easy to focus when adrenaline pumped through her. Only years of training kept her fingers steady.
The building had probably once been a pristine example of Victorian architecture with its white gingerbread trim and fanciful turrets. Maybe it had been the pride of someone who’d worked his way to the respectability that a house like this represented. Now the gingerbread and the turrets were just so much flammable material, ready to ignite in an instant.
The whole neighborhood had clearly gone downhill over the years. Now a few ramshackle Victorians, split into apartments, shared space with warehouses and garages.
Not enough space. The buildings were so close that a threat to one was a threat to the whole block. All these wooden buildings could go up in a conflagration.
Seth’s company had been the first to arrive, but it wasn’t the last. Yellow-coated firefighters swarmed over the scene, directing streams of water at the adjoining buildings.
She discovered that it didn’t matter how many firefighters there were, or how alike they looked in their uniforms. She could still pick Seth out at a glance. What that said about the state of her emotions, she didn’t want to consider.
“Please, Father, protect him.”
She whispered the words, knowing no one could hear her in the din. She’d always thought fires crackled. This one roared. How could the firefighters even think with the blaze assaulting every sense?
O’Malley, the brigade chief, stood a few feet away from her, marshalling his forces like a general attacking the enemy. His ruddy face was covered with soot, and debris continued to shower on him periodically. He didn’t seem to notice.
Seth and some of the others were preparing to take a hose line in the door. Seth was in front. He’d be the first one in. Her throat tightened.
Please, Lord, surround them with Your protection. Keep them safe. Please.
“They know what they’re doing.”
She turned to find Terry standing next to her. Seth’s sister wore full turnout gear, and a gray smudge adorned her cheek. The red curl that had slipped out from her helmet looked incongruous.
“You’re sure about that?” She could only hope her voice wouldn’t belie her light question.
Terry nodded. “Seth’s on the nozzle to start. He’s smart about fire, and he doesn’t take chances.” A shadow crossed her eyes. “Unless there’s a victim. Then he’d do anything he had to.”
Somehow she’d known that about Seth by instinct. He would
always put a helpless person’s welfare ahead of his own.
“I heard Chief O’Malley say everyone escaped the building.” Thank You, Father.
Terry nodded. “We’ve checked them out. Everyone’s okay. Upset, of course.”
Terry didn’t add that the paramedics were remaining on the scene in case a firefighter was injured. That went without saying.
“I’d better get back to my unit.” Terry squeezed her arm. “Don’t worry. This is a piece of cake.”
Obviously Julie wasn’t hiding her emotions very well. She nodded, throat tight. Terry started toward her emergency vehicle.
The crew on the steps was waiting for the go-ahead from O’Malley. She focused on Seth, zooming in for a close-up of his face. He looked perfectly calm, supremely confident. He was a man doing what he knew he did well.
Using the telephoto to bring him so close was almost like spying on him. She swung away, catching Chief O’Malley in the camera lens, and gasped. The man was gray beneath the soot streaking his face. Even as she registered that, he started to keel over.
She crossed the few feet between them in an instant, grabbing O’Malley before his face could hit the pavement. He sagged heavily against her.
“Terry!” She shouted against the wail of sirens and the thunder of the fire.
The desperation in her voice must have penetrated. Terry, who’d reached the rear of her emergency unit, swung around and sprinted back.
Terry dropped to her knees next to her. Together they lowered O’Malley to the pavement.
“What happened?” Terry ripped open the chief’s jacket to put her stethoscope against his chest.
“I don’t know.” Julie’s teeth seemed to be chattering in spite of the heat that blasted from the fire. “He looked pale, and then just collapsed.”
“How is he?” Seth and the rest of his team had reached them almost as quickly as Terry. He leaned over, grasping Julie’s shoulder, so that she felt his concern as if it were hers.
“I don’t know yet.” Terry checked O’Malley’s vital signs with swift competence, her face set beneath the brim of her helmet. “We’ll have to take him in to the E.R.”