by Marta Perry
Seth drew up to the gates, and in a moment they’d slid smoothly back. He drove through.
“State-of-the-art security.”
“Yes. He lives a very well-protected life. Isolated, in fact. That’s how he likes it.”
Cold pain clenched her heart again at the thought of Davy living in that house. No. She wouldn’t let that happen, whatever she had to do.
Seth drove up to the front of the house and parked at the edge of the curving drive. Instead of getting out immediately, he turned toward her, reaching across the seat to touch her shoulder lightly.
“What were you thinking about before? When you said that your father would use any weakness against you?”
She swallowed. “Too many instances to count them all.”
“You were thinking of something specific, Julie.” His hand pressed warmly against her shoulder. “I could hear it in your voice. Tell me.”
“Are you trying to make up for the questions you didn’t ask Lisa?”
“Maybe I’ve learned a little from that experience. Help me understand what put that pain in your voice.”
She shrugged, embarrassed that she’d been so obvious. “I was remembering that incident I told you about. The college boyfriend who’d been ready to cash in on our relationship.”
“Did you love him that much?” He touched her cheek gently.
Kindness, she told herself frantically. He’s just being kind.
“Puppy love, I suppose. When my father told me about paying him off, he also made it clear to me that my ‘ridiculous and obvious desire for love’ had left me open to exploitation.”
Seth drew in a breath, and she thought he censored several things he might have said. “That was brutal. You didn’t believe him, did you?”
“Oh, yes. Because he was right. I was desperate for someone to love me.”
“Julie—”
“No, listen. My pitiful little romance isn’t important. And I eventually found that God’s love more than made up for anything I’d been missing. What’s important is that my father can find your weak spot and hit it. So don’t walk in that door thinking about how you failed Lisa. Don’t give him any ammunition.”
He actually smiled. “Right, coach.” He opened the door. “Shall we go into the lion’s den?”
Her throat closed, and all she could do was nod. It was time.
So this was it. Seth took a deep breath as they walked toward the massive, double front door. He glanced at Julie. Her face was pale and set in the dim light.
“The last time I went into a mansion this big, it was a museum.”
Her lips tightened. “A mausoleum would be a better description of this place.”
Somehow that gave him confidence. Lisa had preferred a two-bedroom townhouse with him to all of this. He’d hold onto that thought and forget the rest.
Father, if I failed Lisa, I guess it’s too late to ask her forgiveness, so I’m asking Yours. Forgive my failures and help me to do the right thing now.
They reached the door. Julie stopped. He’d have expected her to walk right into her father’s house, but apparently that wasn’t how the Alexanders did things. He tried to smile.
“It is like going into the lion’s den.”
She nodded. The look in her eyes told him she was afraid, but she wouldn’t back down. She’d go with him all the way.
All of a sudden he felt the way he did when one of his brothers backed him up going into a fire. He couldn’t have a better partner.
The thought startled him, but before he could explore it further, Julie lifted the knocker and let it fall. The door opened instantly, as if someone had been standing on the other side, waiting for them.
The middle-aged woman wore a gray dress that looked vaguely like a uniform. A housekeeper or secretary, he supposed. She looked at them without expression.
“Mr. Alexander is waiting in the study.” She whisked away, disappearing through a doorway to the side of the huge hallway as if to disavow any relationship with them.
“This way,” Julie murmured. Their steps clicked on the cold marble floor.
Her face seemed frozen, and he longed to bring it back to life again. Nobody should look that way at the thought of confronting her own father.
He nodded toward the carved oak door ahead of them. “His inner sanctum, is it?”
“He always called us there when we’d done something wrong. I think he draws strength from all the pictures on the walls. Don’t let that intimidate you.” Her voice was soft but determined.
Pictures? Before he could ask what she meant, they’d reached the door and she knocked. He grasped her other hand and squeezed it quickly, then dropped it. He couldn’t let Ronald Alexander know he had feelings for Julie.
For just an instant he felt confused. He’d convinced himself he didn’t have feelings for her, hadn’t he? Maybe he hadn’t succeeded.
A voice sounded from inside, and Julie opened the door. They’d only taken a couple of steps on the plush Oriental carpet when he saw what Julie meant about the pictures. The walls were lined with photographs of Ronald Alexander with virtually every powerful figure of the century.
Don’t let that intimidate you, Julie had said. He forced himself to ignore the photos and concentrate on the man who sat behind the massive desk.
Gray. Everything about the man was gray, from his suit to his hair to his face. Even his eyes were gray. He was so still that he barely looked alive.
Something kept Seth still as Alexander’s gray eyes shifted from him to Julie.
“Julia.” His voice was flat. “I see that you’ve disappointed me. As usual.”
“It’s the other way around, Father.” Her face was very pale, and Seth’s heart ached at how vulnerable she was. “You lied to me.”
Alexander dismissed her words with a wave of his hand. “I’m doing what is necessary. Don’t take sides against me. You ought to know that’s one thing I’ll never forgive.”
If it was possible for Julie to go any paler, she did. “That decision is up to you.” Her voice was very controlled. “I’ve already made my decision.”
Her father lifted his eyebrows. “How very enterprising of you. Surely you don’t imagine that your support will make a difference?”
The contempt in his voice must cut her to the bone. How could a child possibly grow in an atmosphere like this?
“Your quarrel isn’t with Julie.” Seth took a step toward the man, longing to push Julie behind him, as if that would protect her from the power of her father’s dislike. “It’s with me.”
Alexander’s gaze shifted to him, and Seth understood what Julie had meant about being looked at as if one were a piece of defective merchandise. But he wasn’t Alexander’s child, and the man’s opinion didn’t have the power to hurt him the way it hurt her.
“I’m sure your attorney, if you have one, would advise you that coming here is a bad move.”
“My attorney works for me. I wanted to see you for myself.”
“And now you have.” Alexander rose. “We have nothing to say to each other. Julie will show you the way out.”
“I’ve got something to say to you.” He stood his ground, knowing instinctively that it would be a mistake to retreat. Sometimes a man just had to stand and fight. “I don’t know why you think you want my son, but you’ll never get him. Ever.”
Alexander smiled thinly. “You may be surprised by the power of money and position, Flanagan.”
“Why?” The word burst from Julie. “Why on earth are you doing this? You can’t be a father to Davy.”
“Why?” For the first time some animation showed in Alexander’s face. “You ought to know the answer to that. I’ve built a huge financial empire, and for whom? Both my daughters were weak, spineless creatures, just like their mothers. I should have had a son.” His voice rose. “I deserved a son.”
Julie absorbed the words, faintly surprised that they didn’t hurt more. She’d always known what her father thought of
her, so it didn’t come as any surprise to have his dislike spelled out.
For God so loved the world—
The words resounded in her heart. She was loved. The thought gave her strength. She leaned forward, looking at him as if for the first time. Seeing him as he really was, instead of the way her childhood’s imagination had painted him.
“We didn’t deserve to be treated that way, Lisa and I. We’d have loved you if you’d ever given us a chance.”
He raised his brows. “I don’t want love. I want a son to mold into my image. To inherit everything I’ve built.”
“Not my son,” Seth said, steel in his voice. “He doesn’t need anything you have to offer, and no court in the world would say you’d make a good father to him.”
“Perhaps not. But I can make your lives miserable until I get what I want.”
“You don’t have any power over us.”
Seth stood there, sturdy and strong, confronting her father. His good heart gave him a shield, but she feared it wouldn’t be enough, not against a man like her father. She could see, so clearly, the difference between them.
“I have all the power.” Her father’s gesture took in the photographs on the wall behind him. “That’s who I am. You’re no one. You can’t win against me.”
Her father’s pride was exemplified by all those pictures of him with wealthy, powerful people. That was who he was—the man he saw in their eyes.
Seth was the man she’d seen through her camera lens—the caring friend, the loving father, the fearless firefighter. The honorable man.
He’s everything a parent should be, Lord. He’s everything that is meant by the word father.
Her heart clenched. She never referred to God as Father. She’d never been able to. Now she saw why.
Father. Her heart savored the word. Show me, Father. Show me how to win this battle in Your name.
Strength swept through her, slowly at first, then building into a healing flood. It chased out the fear and warmed her soul.
She could fight him. And she could win. She knew exactly what weapon to use.
“Stop it.” She interrupted her father in the middle of saying just how he’d make Seth’s life miserable. “You won’t do anything to the Flanagans. You’ll back away and leave them alone. I won’t allow you to ruin Davy’s life with your skewed values.”
He shifted that cold gaze to her. “You won’t allow? What do you imagine you can do? You have no power over me.”
Her father’s voice had its usual sneer when he spoke to her, but it couldn’t hurt her. Not now.
“Actually, my power is only a mouse click away. If you don’t cooperate, I’ll tell the whole world just who the great Ronald Alexander really is.”
“No one is interested in what you have to say.”
“Believe it or not, Father, I’m a respected journalist.” She could almost smile. “And, as you’ve always reminded me, what I do or say reflects on you.”
“You won’t find a publication to print such drivel.” For the first time, she detected a trace of uncertainty in his voice.
“On the contrary, Baltimore Living would be happy to run the piece I have in mind. If you’d bothered to keep up with my career, you’d know that they often run my articles. And the editor loves nothing so much as showing the clay feet on public idols.”
“I will not be blackmailed.” But he took a step back.
“No? Then you’ll find everyone you know laughing behind your back at the personal life of the great Ronald Alexander—a man whose wives ran away from him and whose daughters would do anything to stay out of his grip.”
“Do you think that matters to the people I know?” He tried to maintain his facade, but she’d seen behind it. She understood the one place he was vulnerable.
“Maybe not, but it matters to you. You’re a sick, pitiful, weak old man, and by the time I’m finished, you won’t be asked to serve on the board of the trash authority.” She waved her hand at the wall of photographs. “Take a good look at them, Father. All of your rich and powerful friends. And picture all of them laughing at you.”
For a moment longer he glared at her. She saw the exact moment when he recognized that she meant it—when he weighed her threat in the balance and decided that controlling Davy wasn’t worth sacrificing the world’s view of him.
“Very well,” he said. “Get out and don’t come back. You won’t hear anything more from me ever again, either of you. Don’t expect that I’ll leave anything to you or to that child of Lisa’s. I’ll give it all to charity before I let you have a cent of it.”
“We don’t want it or need it.” Did Seth realize they’d won? She didn’t dare take her eyes off her father, as if to do so might relinquish control. “But I will take a notarized statement from you, saying that you give up all claim to Lisa’s child. Seth’s attorney will draw it up and send it over.”
“Agreed.” Hatred burned in his eyes, but it couldn’t hurt her any longer. “Get out.”
She turned toward the door, feeling Seth beside her. She was leaving, and she never had to come back. She was free of him at last.
Chapter Sixteen
The Flanagans were having a party. Seth supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that his parents had greeted their return as a cause for celebration. The family milled through the house, laughing, talking, eating. Hugging each other. Praising God. A danger to one of them was a danger to all of them, and now that danger had been neutralized.
He hoped. He glanced around for Julie, to find that she’d backed herself into a corner. The expression on her face told him so clearly that she couldn’t quite believe they’d all forgiven her.
He worked his way over to her. They hadn’t talked much on the way back from Baltimore. She’d been exhausted, falling asleep in the car halfway home. Emotional exhaustion, he supposed. And even when she was awake, he hadn’t quite been able to figure out what to say to her.
You saved us. That part was easy. It was the rest he hadn’t figured out yet.
“Hi.” He leaned against the wall next to her, studying her face. “You look wiped out.”
“Just tired.” She managed a smile, but her eyes evaded his.
“You’re not afraid your father won’t keep his word, are you?”
“No, definitely not. The attorney tied it up as airtight as possible. With that documentation, you could probably sue my father for harassment if he so much as looked cross-eyed at you.”
“What’s wrong, then?” He waved his hand at the family. “You’re a hero. You should be celebrating. You saved us.”
She shook her head. “You were doing a fine job of standing up to him on your own.”
“Maybe, but I didn’t know what his weak spot was. You did, and you used it brilliantly.”
A shadow crossed her face. “I hate to think that means I’m like him.”
“You’re nothing like him.” He put all the force of his conviction into his voice. Julie had to be sure of this. “You have a strong, analytical mind, and you finally found a way to defend yourself with it.”
“I stopped thinking of him as all-powerful, that’s all.”
“You picked the right time to decide that.”
A look almost of wonder came into her eyes. “I can only say that God was listening to my prayers. I finally saw what He’s been trying to teach me for a long time—that as long as I was afraid of my father, I gave him power over me.”
“I’m glad.” He took her hand, wrapping his fingers around hers securely. “I hope you’ve stopped measuring yourself by his standards. He wasn’t much of a father.”
“No, he wasn’t.” She looked up at him then, and her eyes were so clear and deep he felt as if he were drowning in them. “When I saw what kind of a father you are to Davy, I knew what Lisa and I had wasn’t even worthy of the same name.”
He smoothed his fingers along the back of her hand, knowing he had more to say and not sure how to do it.
“You and Lisa were b
oth hurt by him. If you’re still thinking that you somehow failed Lisa, you ought to get rid of that burden. You weren’t the one who failed. He was.”
“I should have tried harder to stay in touch with her when she left. I should have made it clear that I was on her side, not his.”
“Julie, you did the best you could at the time.” He had to get this right. “I did, too. I know that now. Our best wasn’t enough to counteract the doubts about herself that he’d planted in Lisa’s heart, but we can’t go on blaming ourselves for that. Lisa wouldn’t want that.”
“No, I’m sure she wouldn’t.” Julie glanced down, as if she were distancing herself from him. “She’d want you to continue being the best father you can to Davy. That’s all she’d expect from you.”
Something about her tone shook him. Was she trying to walk away from him? From Davy?
“And what about you?”
“I hope she’d want me to be a good aunt to her son.” She glanced across the room to where Davy was building a tower of blocks with his cousin, unaware that all this celebration was on his account. “I hope you’ll allow that.”
“Allow it? If you try and walk out of his life now, I’ll tackle you. We all will.” A wave almost of panic swept through him. “You’re not thinking of going away?”
She shrugged. “I have to go sometime. Maybe it would be best if I left for a while. I could come back for a visit in a month or so. Maybe sometime you’d let Davy come and stay with me.”
“You can’t go just like that. You’re a part of Davy’s life now. You can’t go.”
Julie carefully didn’t look at Seth, because if he saw her face, he might see just how much she wanted to stay, to be a part of Davy’s life. And of his life.
But he hadn’t asked her for anything more. He hadn’t mentioned any possible role for her but that of Davy’s aunt. So she ought to get out as gracefully as possible.
“I do have a career. Maybe it’s time I got back to it and let things settle down to normal here.”