by Robert Nye
And what precisely did I think I was learning from him?
How to die.
That’s all.
His shout, his tribe, his Golden Man, his ghostliness. His connection with Wat’s death. It doesn’t seem so important any more. Our destinies crossed. But they are not the same.
I made another son of him. He was someone to talk to. It helped the voyage pass. But now the voyage (almost) is done.
The voyage nearly over. Nothing more to say to you, Indian.
And I knew how to die. That’s the one thing I knew all along.
Christoval Guayacunda: your simplicity awakened my complexity. Don’t think me ungrateful. You were (almost) my friend. We are now (almost) strangers again.
Thank you, rat.
29
20 May
SIR WALTER RALEGH’S INSTRUCTIONS TO HIS SON, AND TO POSTERITY
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CHAPTER I
Virtuous persons to be made choice offor friends
There is nothing more becoming any wise man than to make choice of friends, for by them you shall be judged what you are. Let them therefore be wise and virtuous, and none of those that follow you for gain. But make election rather of your betters, than your inferiors, shunning always such as are poor and needy. For if you give 20 gifts, and refuse to do the like but once, all that you have done will be lost, and such men will become your mortal enemies. Take also special care that you never trust any friend or servant with any matter that may endanger your estate; for so shall you make yourself a bond slave to him that you trust, and leave yourself always to his mercy. And be sure of this, you shall never find a friend in your young years whose conditions and qualities will please you after you come to more discretion and judgment, and then all you give is lost, and all wherein you shall trust such a one will be discovered. Such therefore as are your inferiors will follow you but to eat you out, and when you cease to feed them they will hate you. And such kind of men, if you preserve your estate, will always be had. But if your friends be of better quality than yourself, you may be sure of two things. The first, that they will be more careful to keep your counsel, because they have more to lose than you have. The second, they will esteem you for yourself, and not for that which you possess. But if you be subject to any great vanity or ill (from which I hope God will bless you) then therein trust no man. For every man’s folly ought to be his greatest secret. And although I persuade you to associate yourself with your betters, or at least with your peers, yet remember always that you venture not your estate with any of those great ones that shall attempt unlawful things, for such men labour for themselves and not for you. You shall be sure to part with them in the danger, but not in the honour. And to venture a sure estate in present, in hope of a better in future, is mere madness. And great men forget such as have done them service, when they have obtained what they would, and will rather hate you for saying you have been a means of their advancement, than acknowledge it.
I could give you a thousand examples, and I myself know it, and have tasted it in all the course of my life. When you come to read and observe the stories of all nations, you will find innumerable examples of the like. Let your love therefore be to the best, so long as they do well. But take heed that you love God, your country, your Prince, and your own estate, before all others. For the fancies of men change, and he that loves today, hates tomorrow. But let reason be your schoolmistress, which shall ever guide you aright.
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CHAPTER II
Great care to be had in the choosing of a wife
The next and greatest care ought to be in the choice of a wife, and the only danger therein is beauty - by which all men in all ages, wise and foolish, have been betrayed. And though I know it vain to use reasons or arguments to dissuade you from being captivated therewith (there being few or none that ever resisted that witchery), yet I cannot omit to warn you, as of other things, which may be your ruin and destruction. For the present time it is true that every man prefers his fantasy in that appetite before all other worldly desires, leaving the care of honour, credit, and safety, in respect thereof. But remember: though these affections do not last, yet the bond of marriage endures to the end of your life; they are therefore better to be borne withal in a mistress than in a wife, for when your humour shall change you are yet free to choose again (if you give yourself that vain liberty). Remember, secondly: if you marry for beauty you bind yourself all your life for that which perhaps will never last nor please you one year. And when you have it, it will be to you of no price at all, for the degree dies when it is attained, and the affection perishes when it is satisfied. Remember, when you were a sucking child, that then you loved your nurse, and that you were fond of her. But after a while you loved your dry-nurse, and forgot the other And did you not come in time to despise them both? So will it be with you in your liking in elder years. Therefore, though you cannot forbear to love, yet forbear to link. And after a while you shall find an alteration in yourself, and see another far more pleasing than the first, second, or third love. Yet I wish you above all the rest, have a care you do not marry an uncomely woman for any respect. For comeliness in children is riches, if nothing else be left them. And if you have care for your races of horses, and other beasts, value the shape and comeliness of your children before alliances or riches. Have care therefore of both together. For if you have a fair wife, and a poor one, if your own estate be not great, assure yourself that love abides not with want. For she is your companion of plenty and honour. For I never yet knew a poor woman exceeding fair that was not made dishonest by one or other in the end. This Bathsheba taught her son Solomon: Favour is deceitful, and Beauty is vanity. She says further: That a wise woman oversees the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.
Have therefore ever more care that you be beloved of your wife, rather than yourself besotted on her. And you shall judge of her love by these two observations. First, if you perceive she
has a care of your estate, and exercises herself therein. The other, if she studies to please you and be sweet to you in conversation, without your instruction, for love needs no teaching nor precept. On the other side, be not sour or stern to your wife, for cruelty engenders no other thing than hatred. Let her have equal part of your estate while you live, if you find her sparing and honest. But what you give after your death, remember that you give it to a stranger, and most times to an enemy. For he that shall marry your wife will despise you, your memory, and all that was yours, and shall possess the quiet of your labours, the fruit which you have planted, enjoy your love, and spend with joy and ease what you have spared and gotten with care and travail. Yet always remember that you leave not your wife to be a shame unto you after you are dead, but that she may live according to your estate, especially if you have few children and them provided for. But howsoever it be, or whatsoever you find, leave your wife no more than of necessity you must. And only during her widowhood. For if she love again, let her not enjoy her second love in the same bed wherein she loved you, nor fly to future pleasures with those feathers which death has pulled from your wings. Thus, leave your last estate to your own lineage, in which you live upon earth while earth shall last.
To conclude. Wives were ordained to continue the generation of men, not to transfer them and diminish them either in continuance or ability. And therefore your house and estate which lives in your son, and not in your wife, is to be preferred. Let your time of marriage be in your young and strong years. For (believe it) ever the young wife betrays the old husband, and she that had you not in your flower will despise you in your fall, and you shall be unto her but a captivity and sorrow. Your best time will be towards 30, for as the younger times are unfit either to choose or to govern a wife and family, so, if you stay long, you shall hardly see the education of your children, which being left to strangers are in effect lost, and better were it to be unborn than ill-bred; for thereby your posterity shall either perish, or remain a shame to your name a
nd family. Furthermore, if it be late ere you take a wife, you shall spend your prime and summer of your life with harlots, destroy your health, impoverish your estate, and endanger your life. And (be sure of this) that how many mistresses soever you have, so many enemies you shall purchase to yourself. For there never was any such affection which ended not in hatred or disdain. Remember the saying of Solomon: There is a way which seems right to a man, but the issues thereof are the wages of death. For howsoever a lewd woman please you for a time, you will hate her in the end, and she will study to destroy you. If you cannot abstain from them in your vain and unbridled times, yet remember that you sow on the sands, and do mingle the vital blood with corruption, and purchase diseases, repentance, and hatred only. Bestow therefore your youth so that you may have comfort to remember it when it has forsaken you, and not sigh and grieve at the account thereof. Whilst you are young you will think it will never have an end. But, behold, the longest day has his evening. And that you shall enjoy it but once, that it never turns again, use youth therefore as the springtime, which soon departs, and wherein you ought to plant and sow all provisions for a long and happy life.
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CHAPTER III
Wisest men have been abused by flatterers
Take care you be not made a fool by flatterers, for even the wisest men are abused by these. Know, therefore, that flatterers are the worst kind of traitors. For they will strengthen your imperfections, encourage you in all evils, correct you in nothing, but so shadow and paint all your vices and follies as you shall never (by their will) discern evil from good, or vice from virtue. And because all men are apt to flatter themselves, to entertain the additions of other men’s praises is most perilous. Do not therefore praise yourself, unless you would be counted a vainglorious fool. Neither take delight in the praises of other men, unless you deserve it, and receive it from such as are worthy and honest, and will withal warn you of your faults. For flatterers have never any virtue. They are ever base, creeping, cowardly persons. A flatterer is a beast that bites by smiling. It is said by Isaiah in this manner: My people, they that praise thee, seduce thee, and disorder the paths of thy feet. And David desired God to cut out the tongue of a flatterer. But it is hard to know them from friends. They are so obsequious, and full of protestations. For as a wolf resembles a dog, so does a flatterer a friend. A flatterer is well compared to an ape, who because he cannot defend the house like a dog, labour as an ox, or bear burdens as a horse, does therefore yet play tricks and provoke laughter. You may be sure that he that will in private tell you your faults is your friend, for he adventures your mislike and hazards your hatred. And there are few men that can endure it, every man for the most part delighting in self-praise, which is one of the most universal follies which bewitches mankind.
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CHAPTER IV
Private quarrels to be avoided
Be careful to avoid public disputations at feast, or at tables among choleric or quarrelsome persons. And eschew evermore to be acquainted or familiar with ruffians. For you shall be in as much danger in contending with a brawler in a private place as in a battle, wherein you may get honour to yourself and safety to your Prince and country. But if you be once engaged, carry yourself bravely, that they may fear you after. To shun therefore private fight, be well advised in your words and behaviour. For honour and shame is in the talk, and the tongue of a man causes him to fall.
Jest not openly at those that are simple, but remember how much you are bound to God, who has made you wiser. Defame not any woman publicly, though you know her to be evil. For those that are faulty cannot endure to be taxed, but will seek to be avenged of you; and those that are not guilty cannot endure unjust reproach. And as there is nothing more shameful and dishonest than to do wrong, so Truth herself cuts his throat that carries her publicly in every place. Remember the Divine saying: He that keeps his mouth, keeps his life. Do therefore right to all men where it may profit them, and you shall thereby get much love. And forbear to speak evil things of men, though it be true (if you be not constrained), and thereby you shall avoid malice and revenge.
Do not accuse any man of any crime if it be not to save yourself, your Prince, or country. For there is nothing more dishonourable (next to treason itself) than to be an accuser. Notwithstanding, I would not have you for any respect lose your reputation or endure public disgrace. For better it were not to live, than to live a coward, if the offence proceed not from yourself. If it do, it shall be better to compound it upon good terms than to hazard yourself. For if you overcome, you are under the cruelty of the Law; if you are overcome, you are dead or dishonoured. If you therefore contend or discourse in argument, let it be with wise and sober men, of whom you must learn by reasoning, and not with ignorant persons, for you shall thereby instruct those that will not thank you, only utter what they have learned from you for their own. And if you know more than other men, utter it when it may do you honour, and not in assemblies of ignorant and common persons.
Speaking much, also, is a sign of vanity. For he that is lavish in words is a niggard in deeds. And as Solomon says. The mouth of a wise man is in his heart, the heart of a fool is in his mouth. And by your words and discourses men will judge you. For as Socrates says: Such as your words are, such will your affections be esteemed; and such will your deeds as your affections; and such will your life as your deeds. Therefore be advised what you do discourse of, what you maintain, especially touching religion, the State, or vanity. For if you err in the first, you shall be accounted profane. If in the second, dangerous. If in the third, indiscreet and foolish. He that cannot refrain from much speaking is like a city without walls. And less pains in the world a man cannot take than to hold his tongue. Therefore if you observe this rule in all assemblies you shall seldom err: Restrain your choler, hearken much, and speak little. For the tongue is the instrument of the greatest good and greatest evil that is done in the world.
Take heed also that you be not found a liar, for a lying spirit is hateful both to God and man. A liar is commonly a coward, for he dares not avow truth. A liar is trusted of no man, he can have no credit neither in public nor private. And if there were no more arguments than this, know that our Lord in St John says: That it is a vice proper to Satan, lying being opposite to the nature of God, which consists in truth. And the gain of lying is nothing else but not to be trusted of any, nor to be believed when we say the truth. It is said in the Proverbs, that God hates false lips, and he that speaks lies shall perish. Thus you may see and find in all the Books of God how odious and contrary to God a liar is. And for the world, believe it, that it never did any man good (except in the extremity of saving life). For a liar is of a base, unworthy, and cowardly spirit.
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CHAPTER V
Three rules to be observed for the preservation of a man’s estate
Amongst all other things of the world, take care of your estate - which you shall ever preserve if you observe three things. First, that you know what you have, what everything is worth that you have, and that you see that you are not wasted by your servants and officers. The second is that you never spend anything before you have it, for borrowing is the canker and death of every man’s estate. The third is that you suffer not yourself to be wounded for other men’s faults and scourged for other men’s offences, i.e. by standing surety for another, whereby millions of men have been beggared and destroyed, paying the reckoning of other men’s riot and the charge of other men’s folly and prodigality. If you smart, smart for your own sins. And above all things be not made an ass to carry the burdens of other men.
If any friend desire you to be his surety, give him a part of what you have to spare. If he press you farther, he is not your friend at all - for friendship rather chooses harm to itself than offers it to another. If you be bound for a stranger, you are a fool. If for a merchant, you put your estate to learn to swim. If for a churchman, he has no inheritance. If for a lawyer, he will find an evasion by a word or a mere syllable to
abuse you. If for a poor man, you must pay it yourself. If for a rich man, what need in the first place but to embarrass you? Therefore from surety-ship, as from a man-slayer, or enchanter, bless yourself. For the best profit and return will be this, that if you force him for whom you are bound to pay the debt himself then he will become your enemy, and if you use your estate to pay it yourself you will be a beggar. And believe your father in this, and print it in your thought, that what virtue soever you have, be it never so manifold, if you be poor withal you and your qualities shall be despised. Besides, poverty is oft times sent as a curse of God. It is a shame amongst men. An imprisonment of the mind. A vexation of every worthy spirit. You shall neither help yourself nor others by it. You shall drown yourself in all your virtues, having no means to show them. You shall be a burden and an eye-sore to your friends. Every man will fear your company. You shall be driven basely to beg, and depend on others. To flatter unworthy men. To make dishonest shifts. And to conclude: Poverty provokes a man to do infamous and detested deeds. Let no vanity therefore, or persuasion, draw you to that worst of worldly miseries.
If you be rich, it will give you pleasure in health, comfort in sickness, keep your mind and body free, save you from many perils, relieve you in your elder years, relieve the poor and your honest friends, and give means to your posterity to live, and defend themselves, and your own fame. See where it is said in the Proverbs, that He shall be sore vexed that is surety for a stranger, and he that hates surety-s hip is sure. It is further said: The poor is hated even of his own neighbour, but the rich have many friends. Lend not to him that is mightier than yourself, for if you lend him, count it but lost. Be not surety above your power. For if you be surety, think to pay it.
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CHAPTER VI
What sort of servants are fittest to be entertained