by Rebecca Lang
‘Great to meet you,’ Terri said, extending a hand. Her pale hair, tanned skin and hazel eyes contrasted dramatically with Signy’s appearance, with her paler skin, chestnut-coloured hair cut in a neat bob and blue eyes. Beside her, Signy felt a little washed out, certainly not as overtly fit and athletic.
‘Signy Clover,’ she said, smiling. ‘Good to meet you, too.’
‘I’d like to get going now, if that’s all right with you,’ Dan said. Then we’ll be on the island in time for lunch. It will take us about twenty minutes to get there.’
‘Yeah, great!’ the Australian girl enthused. ‘I’m ready when you are. I’ll get my gear together.’
‘It’s just the three of us,’ Dan said. ‘If we can get the plane up in the air with all these bags.’ He grinned wryly to belie any implied criticism in his words.
‘Oh, have I got too much?’ Terri asked innocently, looking around her for the first time to see what Signy had with her, then realizing that she had considerably more luggage.
‘A little more than the stipulated maximum,’ Dan said crisply. Signy couldn’t tell whether he was really amused or annoyed.
‘My excuse is that I’m a long way from home,’ Terri said.
They all helped to stow the bags in the tiny plane that was waiting at the dock.
‘Has either one of you been on a float plane before?’ Dan asked after they had clambered inside the cabin and he had indicated the seats they should have. The aircraft would take no more than six people.
‘I have,’ Terri said, while Signy shook her head.
‘You might want to put these on,’ he said, handing them each a headset with earpieces, ‘just before we take off. It can be pretty noisy. Fasten your seats belts and keep them on.’
‘This looks like a great place,’ Terri said to Signy as she sat down behind her. ‘Maybe we’ll have a chance to look around some time.’
‘I hope so,’ Signy agreed, taking an instant liking to the other nurse. ‘I got in yesterday, so I didn’t see much…just had time for a walk around downtown, near the hotel.’
‘Same here. You’re English, eh?’
Signy nodded.
‘Are you on a retreat, as well as doing a bit more training?’
‘Yes. I’m really looking forward to the retreat part of it,’ Signy confirmed, smiling back.
‘I am, too,’ Terri said, a momentary shadow wiping the smile from her face. Signy knew from personal experience that such a remark, a casual understatement, masked the angst that came with the work they had to do, the sights they had seen.
‘Were you in Africa?’ Signy asked.
‘East Timor.’
‘Ah…’ She didn’t need to ask more at that moment. Immediately her mind’s eye flipped the pages of a mental map and focussed on that part of the world.
Dan was in the pilot’s seat, ready to go. ‘Buckled up?’ he said, looking over his shoulder at them. ‘Put on your mufflers now.’ With his own headset in place, he began a check of the controls.
Even with her hearing muffled, the roar of the engine sounded deafening to Signy. Facing front resolutely, never having liked flying very much, she clenched her hands over the armrests of her seat.
Soon they were skimming over the surface of the water, the floats sending up plumes of spray on either side. Then they were lifting up at a sharp angle, with a clear view of the mountains, the densely wooded slopes, the sparkling water of the Pacific Ocean as the sunlight struck the surface. Out there to the north was China.
Only when they had reached their desired altitude, as the land slid away and they turned south over the water, did Signy relax somewhat and release her grip. Over to her left the coast was clearly visible as they flew south. Soon they would go farther out into the ocean, over a series of small islands to Kelp Island, on the Canadian side of the border with the United States. She thought briefly of other journeys, less tranquil, that she’d made in the recent past, when she’d been in physical danger and had had to be constantly alert to what had been going on around her in case certain sights and happenings had meant danger.
To a certain extent she had thrived on it. Beyond that certain point, those moments of potential danger had put all other worries and concerns into perspective pretty quickly. That was the most positive thing that World Aid Nurses had done for her—it had all certainly been give and take, she mused now. Then she pushed the past from her mind, determined to enjoy the here and now.
Soon they were over the south end of Vancouver Island, a very large island, well populated, off Vancouver city. Signy remembered it from a map she had studied of the whole area. It was mid-September, sunny and warm. The weather would change soon, to become more unpredictable; it would be cooler, with quite a lot of rain, with low cloud and mist.
Just as she was getting used to the view of the ocean and small, densely wooded islands, the plane began to lose height. Craning in her seat, she saw an island dead ahead, a green, irregular spot, with no other islands immediately near it. That, she assumed, was Kelp Island.
Excitement gripped her as she anticipated the weeks ahead in this safe, tranquil place. Up to now she hadn’t allowed herself to think too much about her need to let go, to truly relax and recuperate—the promise of this island retreat had somehow seemed too unreal. Now, as they were losing height, the island began to take on a reality, and she could see forest, a shoreline.
Dan glanced briefly over his shoulder. ‘We’re going down,’ he shouted. ‘Buckle up, if you’re not already. Life vests under seats.’
His terse remarks jerked Signy to a more immediate reality. Looking behind her, she gave Terri a brief grin, before checking that she did indeed have a life vest under her seat.
The plane came down on the water quite far from the island, then taxied noisily towards a dock. As they got close they could see someone waiting, and two Jeep-like utilitarian vehicles. Because this place had been a military base there had to be at least one good road, Signy assumed, taking in as much as she could of the scene through the tiny window. How different it was from the dry brown of the small piece of Africa that she had known.
She unfastened her seat belt and stood up stiffly when the craft had come to a halt at the dock. On the seat in front of her Dan had deposited a small bag of his own, plus a pile of papers, and Signy’s eyes looked idly over these as she waited for the door to be opened. Something registered sharply on her consciousness, yet for a few moments she couldn’t exactly place what it was. On the top sheet of a pile of papers that were secured by an elastic band, a name had been typed in quite large letters: ‘R.D.H. Blake, MD’.
Something seemed to clench in her heart as she looked at that name, a sense of shock so intense that she felt momentarily faint and sick, actually felt the blood draining from her face. Quickly she sat back down in her seat, groping for her carry-on bag that she had put at her feet, taking her time about it so that she could keep her head bent down. She thought she might pass out.
That name! It hadn’t occurred to her that Dan Blake might be R.D.H. Blake, the same person who had made the decision in Africa that had led directly, in her opinion, to Dominic’s death. It was that person who had ordered them to leave the medical station while Dominic had still been missing out in the bush, to get out because the situation for them had become dangerous with the advent of rebels in the area where they had been working. The word ‘rebel’, she had discovered, was a catch-all name given to anyone who was willing to resort to violence to get what he, or his group, wanted. After a while it had become meaningless to her.
Blake was, after all, a quite common surname. Could this Dan Blake be the same Blake who had issued orders from a distance, where another World Aid group had been working, for them to get out, to leave the station and proceed immediately to a distant airstrip where they could be airlifted out? A truck had come for them with an order in writing, from him, for them to leave. No prior warning had been given in an area where communication was difficult.
Terri moved past her in the narrow aisle, encumbered with small bags. Dan had the door to the aircraft open. Sluggishly Signy moved forward with her own bag, her mind in overdrive.
‘Are you all right? You look pale.’ There he was, standing by the door, tall and very masculine in the confined space, looking at her with concern. As she came level with him he put a hand on her arm. Hypocrite! She wanted to hiss the word at him.
‘Just a bit of motion sickness,’ she said flatly, getting the words out with difficulty through lips that felt stiff. ‘I…I’ll be all right once I get out on land, get some fresh air.’
He nodded, looking beyond her out the door to the bright sunshine, still holding her arm. ‘Go carefully,’ he said.
Signy recoiled from him, steadying herself, pulling her arm out of his grasp. The ‘D’ of the middle initial of that doctor in Africa could be the ‘D’ for Daniel, she speculated as she moved forward. Again, that speculation hardened into certainty. Quite a lot of people she knew didn’t use the first name that had been given to them in babyhood by ambitious, facetious or otherwise misguided parents, but chose instead the more acceptable alternative, or had it chosen for them by friends.
They clambered out, to be met by a youngish man wearing overalls. Signy placed her feet carefully on the wooden dock and moved forward, feeling as she had when she’d heard about Dominic’s fate—sobered, intensely sad. After that first shock at the time, she’d felt long afterwards that she’d been sleep-walking, just going through the motions of being alive. Now the irony of the situation hit her…that she was here on a retreat with the very person who was in some way associated with her former mental trauma. It wasn’t surprising really. World Aid Doctors, and its associated nursing branch, constituted a small group.
‘Welcome to Kelp Island,’ the other man said, with a Scottish accent, to her and Terri. ‘I’m Jock McGregor.’
‘What’s a Scotsman doing here?’ Signy asked, forcing herself to speech and to smile at the same time, willing herself back to the moment, as she dumped her bag on the dock and looked around appreciatively. She had to take her time to decide what she should do about Dan Blake…if anything. In spite of her shock, there was no denying the overwhelming immediacy, the austere beauty, of this place, with its dark green towering forest, and the effect it had on one. It was good to be on land again.
‘Oh, we’re all over the world,’ he said. ‘Same as the English. I’m in what you might call general maintenance.’
‘I’m Terri Carpenter,’ said the other young woman, the first to extend her hand.
‘Hi,’ he said.
‘I’m Signy Clover. Nice to meet you,’ she said in turn. The first things that Signy noticed were the smells, predominantly the fresh sea air scented with the unfamiliar odour of cedar trees, and she took several deep, calming breaths. There was a moistness in the air that accentuated all the scents of nature, the soil itself, the vegetation.
‘Wow!’ Terri breathed the word softly. ‘Just look at those trees. Some of those must be several hundred years old. I wonder why the loggers didn’t get their hands on those.’
The forest rose above them on slopes, impenetrable, it seemed, apart from a narrow road that disappeared among them just beyond the dock area. All was pristine, fresh and silent, apart from the slap of water against the pilings of the dock.
Between the four of them they loaded the luggage and some other supplies into the two vehicles.
‘Ride with me, Signy,’ Dan said. ‘Terri, you go with Jock.’
‘Right,’ Terri said, getting into the front of the first vehicle.
Signy opened her mouth to protest, then closed it again, a strange, passive lethargy coming over her, like a cloak of fate. Before she jumped to conclusions, she had to find out more about him. Besides, she had to work with him. Nonetheless, she felt like a trapped animal, her antipathy feeling as though it would choke her. Strange how you felt emotion in your throat, and in the region of your heart. No one really understood the physiology of that.
‘Is the road OK, Jock?’ Dan asked. ‘Any washouts?’
‘It’s pretty good,’ Jock said, ‘apart from the inevitable potholes.’
The Scotsman, with Terri, went on ahead, disappearing slowly into the dense screen of trees. Soon there was silence again, giving Signy the opportunity to look around her at the rugged shoreline where narrow strips of sand edged the water below tumbled grey rocks. She felt uncomfortable now, alone with Dan, so much so that she thought he must sense it. Also she found herself uncommonly aware that she was a woman alone with a strange man in a very isolated spot. Irritated with herself, she forced herself to look at him as they stood together. She considered the slightly twisted nose, the thin, oddly attractive, exhausted face.
‘What do you think of the island so far?’ he said.
Signy swallowed. ‘It’s…it’s beautiful,’ she said, meaning it. ‘But…not benign, I think.’
At that he smiled slightly, looking at her perceptively. ‘Mmm,’ he agreed.
‘I assume the smell is the scent of cedar trees?’ she said.
‘Yes. On some other parts of the island there are some sandy beaches. Very wild, some of them, facing the ocean, with spectacular breakers. A lot of kelp gets washed up there. Hence the name.’
‘I hope we’ll get time to explore some of them,’ she said, picturing the wild, deserted beaches.
‘You will,’ he said. ‘I’ll show you some time, if you like.’
Immediately Signy was wary, withdrawing into herself, as she had done over the past weeks since she had come back from Africa.
‘Thank you,’ she said stiffly, knowing that her recoil had been obvious.
‘It’s part of the treatment,’ he said, a brusque note in his voice. ‘Lots of walks in the mist and rain, through the forest trails, on blustery beaches. Let the exertion of the body heal the mind.’
Signy’s cheeks slowly suffused with colour. He had immediately tuned in to her standoffishness and censure, and she felt a sharp regret. It wasn’t her custom to judge before she had all the facts, so she told herself to hold off. Her excuse was that she was still in love with Simon…or was it Dominic, whom she had met for the first time in Africa? Perhaps it hadn’t been love, but certainly she had formed a very strong bond with him and still mourned him acutely. She needed some time to be alone now on her walks, to think, to sort things out in her mind, so she told herself.
‘I didn’t mean…’ she began hesitantly.
‘No, neither did I,’ he said. ‘Let’s go. Do you have some sort of jacket you can put on? It can get quite cool in the woods.’
‘Yes.’ Glad of the diversion, she fumbled in her carry-on bag to pull out a knitted jacket. She had a lightweight rain jacket in there too, against the frequent falls of rain that were typical in the area.
In the forest much of the sunlight was shut out, putting them into a dim green light that seemed to Signy mysterious and unworldly, so that she shivered and pulled the jacket closely around her. Dan drove slowly and carefully. The scents of trees, ferns, moss and moist soil came in through the windows. The paved road, more of a lane, was narrow and uneven, bordered on either side by clumps of ferns, trees and other vegetation that she didn’t recognize. Sitting there beside this man, whom she was convinced had affected her life in the recent past, even though they had never met, it made her feel that, rather than getting away from the past, it was coming back to greet her, to encompass her once more.
‘You have a background in operating theatre work and emergency nursing, Signy, so I remember from my brief perusal of your CV,’ Dan said, breaking the slightly strained silence that had sprung up between them. Signy wondered whether it was all on her side. So far he had given no indication that her name meant anything to him. If it had, he wouldn’t have called her ‘Glover’.
He turned to l
ook at her for a moment, his glance shrewd and appraising, before he turned back to view the road which had suddenly deteriorated slightly. They slowed down to go around some potholes, the vehicle climbing steadily away from the dock. ‘And you’ve done some midwifery training?’ he added.
‘Yes,’ she confirmed.
‘I’m surprised you got sent out to Africa,’ he said, ‘as your first assignment. That was rather throwing you in at the deep end.’ To her heightened awareness, his comment sounded like a criticism of her, perhaps implying that she couldn’t have been expected to cope.
‘I wanted to go there,’ she said tightly. ‘I could have refused, I had the option. At the time the place I was sent to was not considered particularly dangerous. At least, not any more dangerous than any other place. As you know, situations can change quickly, and unforeseen things happen. You don’t always have time to get out when perhaps you should.’
‘No…you’re quite right,’ he murmured, telling her nothing.
With tension rising in her beyond endurance, Signy decided to test him. ‘Some of my party were taken hostage by a rebel group. Fortunately they got away eventually, but for a while no one knew what the outcome would be…We expected the worst.’ At that moment she didn’t want to tell him that Dr Dominic Fraser, one of her three abducted colleagues, hadn’t come back to the medical station when he should have done, had decided—with misguided bravado, it seemed now—to link up with members of the UN forces in an attempt to track down his captors. He hadn’t made it back in time to be driven out when the others had been evacuated.
‘That’s pretty grim, and it happens quite commonly,’ Dan said. ‘The best thing is to get out when there’s the first hint of possible trouble. There’s no point in becoming a liability or a casualty yourself. I wouldn’t have thought you were the right person for that setting.’
‘Oh? Why not?’ she said.
‘Don’t take this wrong. You seem very…what shall I say? Fragile.’
Signy searched around for words, not knowing what to say. ‘Appearances can be deceptive,’ she said. The only way she was fragile at the moment, she found herself thinking, was emotionally, and she didn’t think he was referring to that.