by Rebecca Lang
‘A thousand times better. Thank you again, Dan, for everything,’ she said, her voice coming out husky and stilted to her own ears. ‘I expect you’ll be very happy to see the last of the WAN group, won’t you? Especially me. You look so tired…’
‘Does that make up for the death of Dominic Fraser, in your estimation?’ he said, a cynical note in his voice, his mouth twisted in that wry way that he had.
‘I…I know you didn’t do anything wrong there,’ she said. ‘I’ve more or less come to terms with that.’
‘Only more or less?’ he said, the cynical note more pronounced. ‘Perhaps I can do something about that.’
When he leaned forward and kissed her, she wasn’t prepared for it. Hot from the bath and the fire, she nonetheless felt an additional flare of heat as she responded to him, closing her eyes to let the feel of his mouth on hers fill her whole being with delightful sensation. Coupled with the sense of relief at being safe, it was a powerful combination.
‘Oh, Dan…’ she whispered, wanting to weep as they separated, putting her hand up to touch his neck. Without premeditation, she lay back on the floor in the orange glow and heat from the fire, closing her eyes. Now that she was safe, a terrible weariness came with letting go. ‘Please, hold me,’ she added brokenly.
It seemed that all her past and present angst was coming together in that moment, and all she wanted in the world was for Dan to hold her in his arms. Instead of him feeling alien to her, they seemed for the moment powerfully two of a kind, and joined in a bond by the work they did. In his person he seemed dear and familiar, as well as exciting and very, very attractive…
When he kissed her fiercely, holding her to him as they lay side by side, she put her arms around him and clung on as though she were drowning, kissing him back hungrily. Wanting something for herself, she also wanted to erase that abject exhaustion from his face.
Dan sat up and pulled her up beside him, his arm around her shoulders, and stared into the fire. By putting his hand on the side of her face, he eased her head down to rest on his shoulder, where she could feel the beating of his heart and the uneven pace of his breathing. They were both, it seemed to her, struggling for control, on the brink of something momentous.
‘Are you ready to talk to me?’ he said, after a few minutes. ‘Because, if you are, I want to hear all about Simon Heathcote. There’s plenty of time, because I have the day off tomorrow.’
Signy began to talk then, pouring out her heart to him, the sentences tumbling out as though they had already formed long ago in her mind and had just been waiting for her to open the flood-gates. She told him about her life in London, her work there, when she had been all unaware about other, broader aspects of life. She told him about her family, her mother and two brothers, her father who was a GP in a small English town and wanted to retire soon because he was chronically tired. There was Simon, about whom she could suddenly be objective, then there was Africa and WAN.
By the time she fell silent they were holding each other in a close embrace. It was a companionable silence, yet filled with vivid undercurrents of emotion which they left undisturbed for some time while his hand idly toyed with her hair, sensitizing her unbearably to his touch. Signy knew that everything had suddenly, decisively shifted and changed, so that the time in her life when she hadn’t known that Dan Blake existed seemed to recede from her.
Dan tilted her face up to his, holding her chin, while he looked deeply into her eyes. ‘You have three choices, Signy Clover,’ he said, his face serious as his eyes darkened. ‘You can sleep on the sofa here, you can sleep in the spare bedroom…or you can sleep with me.’ Then he gave her that slight, slow smile that she found she could no longer resist.
‘I…don’t want to be alone.’ she whispered.
‘I’ll give you one more chance to back out,’ he said huskily. ‘My intention is to stay in bed all day tomorrow, not to answer the phone, to be out to everyone but you. And I shall expect you to stay with me.’
Smiling back, she finally acknowledged what she had been fighting for a long time. She was in love with Dr Dan Blake, and the thought of never seeing him again after next month was unbearable, against the natural order of things. In reply, she kissed him, matching his passion with hers, tremulous and hopeful.
‘Is there some way,’ he asked, his lips against hers, ‘that we can spend time together after this course ends?’
‘We can always find a way,’ she murmured, an absurd happiness filling her whole being.
‘I love you, so help me,’ Dan said, nuzzling his cheek against hers. ‘I didn’t want to admit it before…It complicates things.’
‘Oh…’ she said. ‘Oh…’
‘Is that all you can say?’ he teased.
‘I love you, too,’ she whispered. ‘Crazy, isn’t it?’
‘Yes…and no,’ he said. ‘Will you spend some of the Christmas holiday with me in the city? I know you want to keep the others company some of the time. Make time for me. Please.’
They smiled at each other, their eyes alight with love. ‘Let’s go to bed first,’ Signy teased. ‘Then I’ll give you my answer.’
‘Testing me out?’ He laughed, the action erasing some of the tiredness in his face, and Signy felt herself melting, all resistance gone. This wonderful man, a mature man of integrity, humility, compassion, intelligence, dedication, empathy…all the positive qualities she had always been looking for, if unconsciously, in a man…actually wanted to be with her. Moreover, he was a man she found almost unbearably attractive, the broken nose the sexiest thing she had ever seen.
‘If you like,’ she said, laughing back.
‘I do like.’ He pulled her up, then swung her up into his arms to carry her.
In his bedroom it took him only moments to take off the oversized dressing-gown, pyjamas and finally the woolly socks that she was wearing, to hold back the thick duvet on his bed for her to get under. While he undressed, she watched him, knowing that at last she had grown up.
As she held her arms open to him and he came into them, she whispered, ‘About Christmas…yes.’
‘And after?’ he murmured, holding her against the length of his body, so that shivers of pleasure coursed through her.
‘Will there be an “after”, Dan?’ she murmured against his neck, as he ran a hand warmly along her side, smoothing his palm over her breast.
‘I hope so, Signy…I hope so.’
In the morning he brought her tea in bed. ‘You spoil me, Dan.’ She smiled shyly as she took it, having put on the oversized pyjama jacket again.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her, holding his own mug of tea. That awful tiredness had been erased from his face. He looked rested, his eyes alight with what Signy knew was love. The knowledge brought her humility and a certain amazement, because it seemed like a miracle when the person you loved also loved you. Instinctively she knew that his love had no strings attached, that it wouldn’t be a temporary, adolescent love, but an enduring, thoughtful, passionate love. The night they had just spent together proved it.
‘I have ulterior motives,’ he said lightly, not taking his eyes off her.
‘Oh?’ she said, loving him desperately.
‘There’s a job going in Jamaica soon with World Aid Doctors,’ he said, still looking at her as though he feared she might disappear if he didn’t keep a close eye on her. The thought made Signy smile. ‘They actually want two people, either two doctors or a doctor and a nurse, to set up a clinic. They’ve asked me if I would be interested.’
‘Oh. Are you?’ She kissed him, smoothing a hand over the skin of his back, confident in his love for her, and hers for him, yet not knowing what was coming. If all the other experiences had brought her to this, it was worth all the angst. ‘What about your work here?’
‘I have to wind it down when I go away. There are others who will take over, the other partners. I can work here or in England…and with World Aid Doctors. There will always be a place for me here,’ he sa
id. ‘Of course, I wouldn’t go until Felix had finished his new course of treatment, or whatever he and Donna decide to do. I wouldn’t desert him.’
‘Will you go to Jamaica?’ she asked. ‘Away from me?’ The thought was unbearable. ‘I…expect I’ll be back in England.’
‘They’d prefer a married couple,’ he said softly. ‘Would you consider that, Signy Clover?’
‘Oh, Dan…’ she murmured.
He waited tensely.
‘Did they really ask for a married couple?’ she said softly, looking at him sideways. ‘That…um…doesn’t quite ring true, Dan.’
‘No, they didn’t say that,’ he agreed. ‘I’m not sure of you, don’t want to take you for granted.’ He leaned back, supporting himself on one elbow, and cupped her cheek in one hand, looking at her intently, holding her attention with his mesmerizing eyes. ‘Will you marry me? With all my heart and soul I love you. More than anything I have ever wanted, or am likely to want, I want you with me for the rest of my life. Please.’
Tears pricked her eyes. ‘Dan…yes…yes.’
They lay entwined in the warmth, awed and humbled in the knowledge that these were the first moments of their shared, committed life. Signy listened to rain pelting on the cedar roof, loving it because it made her feel all the more secure in Dan’s arms. Sometimes miracles did happen, she mused, feeling drugged with happiness. Love could come in the most unlikely places.
ISBN: 978-1-4603-5704-0
CHALLENGING DR. BLAKE
Copyright © 2002 by Rebecca Lang
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