by Christi Snow
She nodded. “Yeah, this is just so much...”—she waved a hand to encompass all the highly decorated soldiers and their various dates also dressed to the nines—“more than I expected.”
“Yeah, at first these events seem stuffy, but as the alcohol flows, it will relax a little bit. Although tonight, everyone will be on their best behavior as they all try to suck up to the new commander. Just be thankful that we’re not assigned to the head table. But don’t worry, the maintenance crew always knows how to have a good time.”
She’d known Gage when he was a young lieutenant. It was hard to believe that all this pomp and circumstance was for the same boy she’d once yelled at for leaving his wet towels on the floor. But those arguments had usually ended with sex while lying on those wet towels.
She smothered a highly inappropriate laugh behind her wine glass.
Steven lightly brushed her cheek with his thumb. “Want to share the joke?”
She shook her head. No, Steven probably wouldn’t appreciate knowing that she’d been thinking about Gage, naked after his showers. “It was nothing.”
Steven waved a greeting to someone who looked vaguely familiar, but Felicia wasn’t sure if it was someone who’d come to the vet clinic or if she’d met him at the one wing picnic she’d attended with Steven last spring.
“How many people do you know here?” she asked as she took another big sip of her wine to bolster her ability to chitchat.
She could talk to anyone in the clinic about their pet all day long, but throw her into a social situation like this and she felt completely awkward and out of place. Steven knew this and had always been considerate of her comfort levels. That was one of the reasons she’d fallen so hard for him.
“Yeah, I know most everyone who’ll be here tonight. This is the wing leadership, and I spend way too many hours a day in meetings with most of them. There will be a few local dignitaries here tonight, too, so the odds are good that you’ll know quite a few of them.”
She nodded and turned toward him, lightly brushing her hand over the lapels of his uniform, deciding to refocus on him instead of the fact that all this had been done for Gage. “How is it I’ve never seen you in your uniform before? Dang, Major Hardesty, you clean up really nice.”
He winked. “I’m glad you approve.”
She turned and caught a glimpse of another man in uniform striding across the room, but the sight of him stole her breath away. Oh, this isn’t good. But she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the cutting figure of Gage in the full regalia of his uniform. Dang, he looked good.
Gage glanced up, and their gazes locked. If she hadn’t been watching him so closely, she would have missed how his eyes widened minutely at seeing her here. He must not have been expecting her.
Steven must have noticed her attention had strayed as he turned to see what she looked at. He made a low sound of malcontent that had her breaking her connection with Gage just as a trickle of guilt flowed through her gut.
“I didn’t realize they’d started the reception line. Come on.” He grabbed hold of her hand. “Let’s get this over with. Let’s go say hi to your ex-boyfriend.”
She planted her feet and shook her head. “Oh, it’s okay. I don’t want to talk to him.”
Steven chuckled low. “Honestly, I’m not real thrilled with the idea, either, but it’s protocol. We have to do the meet-and-greet portion of the evening, and as one of the wing’s squadron commanders, I have to participate.”
“Oh, okay.”
They got in line, and several of the men standing there greeted Steven by rank.
It all seemed so formal. “I had no idea the military was so protocol-oriented.”
“Yeah.” Steven blew out a breath. “It’s all a bit political game. There’s a whole office on base set up to specifically handle protocol to make sure none of us screw up and somehow offend a four-star general by accident.”
“That sounds...” She had no idea what to say. In reality, it sounded dreadful. Never before had she been so thankful that she woke up every day and donned jeans or scrubs to go hang out with animals who didn’t care if she said the right words or not.
“Awful. I know.” Steven smiled with a shrug. “But the military is steeped in traditions that have gone on for centuries. As much as we all despise it at times, we can’t just dump it. Those traditions are worth something, even the silly ones.”
She got to experience the silly ones after dinner when it came time to welcome Gage to his command.
The first person to stand up and talk was the Vice Wing Commander, Colonel Carter. He was an interesting guy, good-looking in a nerdy kind of way. He was shorter, in his forties, and wore glasses. He’d always reminded her of the guy who always knew all the answers in science class at school...so nice, but a little weird and awkward.
Since she’d treated his beagle, Roxie, she thought she knew the man fairly well, but that didn’t prepare her for what turned out to be a welcoming roast for Gage. “You know,” Col. Carter said, “when they told me they were bringing in an F-16 pilot as our wing commander, I told them they had to have that wrong. We fly F-35s here.”
There were several “ooh-rah’s” from the crowd.
Col. Carter nodded in acknowledgement at the agreement from the crowd. “But then they told me it was fine, our new commander wasn’t on flying status anymore after he crashed his plane last year.”
Felicia’s breath caught in her throat. Crashed? Her eyes flew to him, and he was just laughing like it was no big deal that he’d crashed his jet.
Oh, god. Her chest tightened and it became hard to breathe. Her skin flashed hot and then cold.
Gage could have died. Had he been hurt?
The colonel nodded and rolled his eyes with a shrug. “Lawndart... What do you expect?”
The whole audience crowed with raucous laughter. The sound grated on her nerves when she was feeling so far away from any sort of humor. They obviously understood the joke. She was completely lost and still reeling from the idea that Gage could have died and she never would have known.
Oh, god. Felicia tried to pick up her glass, but then realized her hands were shaking so bad that she’d never be able to do so without spilling her wine. She had to get out of here and pull herself back together.
She leaned over to Steven. “Sorry, but I’ll be right back. I need to go to the restroom.”
He’d been laughing at something the vice commander had said, but now he looked at her with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Sure.” She gave him a wan smile. “That’s what I get for saving all my water to drink until this afternoon. I’ll be right back.”
He nodded, obviously accepting her excuse. He winked at her. “I’ll save your seat.”
When she exited the ballroom, she blew out a sigh, but kept walking even though her legs felt like noodles on her high heels. She needed to escape to the bathroom where she could fall apart in peace.
But when she arrived at the ladies’ room, someone had already claimed the right to fall apart before her. Felicia went around the corner of the vanity area, and London gasped, her face pale and streaked with tears, her eyes red.
For a moment, they both froze, but there was no missing the fear and devastation in London’s gaze that felt exactly like the emotions Felicia felt ping ponging through her chest.
“You didn’t know about his crash, either,” Felicia said.
London shook her head, and a sob broke free of her throat.
Felicia’s heart clutched, and she opened her arms to the young girl who looked like she needed a hug more than anything else in this world.
London rushed forward, accepting the embrace like it was the only thing keeping her upright. The petite young girl rested her forehead on Felicia’s shoulder as her chest heaved under the broken sobs.
“Do you think he’s okay?” London asked between bouts of sniffles. “Really okay?”
The colonel had said Gage was officially off flying status,
and from what Felicia knew about Gage and his love for flying, she doubted he would accept that unless there was some long-term problem. But she wouldn’t tell London that. Gage’s daughter needed reassurance that her dad would be around for her long-term. She’d just lost her mother suddenly. The idea that she could lose her other parent had to be terrifying for her.
“You’ve been around him more than me, so you’d have a better idea of how he’s doing. But from what I’ve seen, he seems to be in great health. The crash could have been something minor, like a bad landing or something like that. Your dad seems fine now.”
London pulled back and stared hopefully. “Do you really think so?”
Felicia nodded. “Yeah, I do, but you need to talk to your dad about this, London.” It wouldn’t do the young girl any good to hold in her fears and emotions, especially not when she was probably already at emotional capacity after all the change, grief, and upheaval in her life. That could cause all kinds of problems later.
Besides, she got the impression that Gage had no idea how much his kids truly cared for him. He needed to know how devastated London had been by this news tonight.
“Thanks, Dr. Parks.”
Felicia grabbed a couple of tissues out of the box on top of the counter and pressed them into London’s hand. “Call me Felicia.” She gave the young girl a soft smile. “Then mop up your face, and we’ll see what we can do to repair the damage to your makeup.”
London looked into the mirror and gasped. “Oh, no. I can’t go back out there, looking like this.”
“It’s okay. I promise.” Felicia reached into her purse and pulled out her emergency makeup bag. “I think we’re close enough in coloring that we can make it work. I should have everything we need.”
It only took about five minutes to repair the damage crying had done to London’s face. When they exited the bathroom, the only hint that something had even happened was London’s slightly red eyes.
They entered the ballroom together, and Felicia’s gaze automatically sought out Gage first. His eyes widened and he frowned slightly when he saw her with London. She could see his worry, so she gave him the slightest shake of her head and a smile to let him know that his daughter was okay now, not to worry.
His shoulders loosened the slightest bit, but he was still under the spotlight at the front of the room, so he didn’t relax much.
She slowly skirted around the edge of the room, turning toward her table. Steven stared at her with a thoughtful frown on his face. Had he seen that short exchange with Gage?
For a moment, a flash of guilt surged under her breastbone. But that was ridiculous. She hadn’t done anything wrong, just reassured Gage that his daughter was fine. It wasn’t her fault that she could still communicate silently with him like that. Was it?
But then she considered why she’d run out of the room so quickly. Yes, Gage had been extremely important to her once upon a time, but was it right that she responded just as emotionally as his daughter did at the news about his plane crash? That was probably something to contemplate—later, when she wasn’t out with her boyfriend.
When she slid into her chair beside Steven, he leaned over and threaded his hand through hers with a squeeze. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I found London, Gage—” She stopped and corrected, “Colonel Winston’s daughter in the bathroom. She was upset. So I took the time to give her a shoulder to cry on for a moment.”
Steven frowned. “She was upset because the guys are giving him a hard time? That’s the way these things go. I’d think she’d be used to that at this point.”
It suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t mentioned to Steven that she’d gone to dinner with them the other night and she now knew a ton about Gage’s family situation that she hadn’t shared. She hadn’t thought it was important at the time, but now that seemed like a huge, glaring omission.
One more thing to feel guilty about.
“The kids haven’t lived with him since they were toddlers. She was upset that she hadn’t known her father had been in a plane crash and could have died.” They were whispering, so it was hard to push the words out past the lump in her throat. Her heart raced, and her fingers were freezing. But she carefully tried to hide those reactions from Steven. He didn’t need to know how upset the idea of her ex dying got to her.
Steven leaned over and brushed her hair away from her temple as he kissed her. “You’re a good woman, Felicia Parks. I’m lucky to have you.”
She glanced to the stage. Gage frowned at them with a very unhappy expression on his face despite the laughter rolling through the assemblage at something one of the commanders had said.
GAGE THOUGHT THE EVENING would never end. Normally, he enjoyed these kinds of dinners. All the good-natured ribbing was usually a lot of fun. But having to sit up on that stage while watching his ex get cozy with her boyfriend had been a special kind of torture.
As a commander, Major Hardesty had also had his chance to make his digs. It could be their complex, mutual ties to Felicia, but to Gage those digs had felt a little more personal with Steven. If he was that much of an asshole, why was Felicia with him?
But regardless of where things stood between Felicia and the major, Gage took his chance to chase after Felicia the first chance he got once the ceremonial part of the evening was over. She’d left Steven talking with a group of other commanders and had slipped out of the ballroom. He made his apologies to the group he’d been talking to and followed her.
As he stalked her, he took a moment to appreciate how gorgeous she looked. Tonight, she wore a crystal-blue sundress with high, strappy, silver sandals. The color and cut made her look even more healthy and tan as it highlighted her toned arms and shoulders and of course those long lean legs that had always been fantastic.
He picked up his pace. Back when they’d been dating, she hadn’t been near as confident or fast on heels. Did she wear them a lot now? The idea of her constantly out on the town with Steven while looking this gorgeous pained him.
She slipped out the back door of the club, and he followed her. Once outside, he thought he’d lost her, but then he noticed a low bench under a large tree in the dark corner of the patio. If it weren’t for her metallic shoes catching the light, he never would have noticed her there in the shadows.
He approached slowly, not wanting to startle her if she didn’t see him coming. But of course, she did.
“You shouldn’t leave your own party,” she chastised him.
“I know. I’ll go back inside soon, but I sent the twins home. Is London okay? I saw the two of you come back into the ballroom together. She looked upset.”
“Yeah, she was upset, but I talked to her for a bit.”
Why had his daughter been upset? Rage tore through him. Early in his marriage to Chelle, another spouse had said something cutting to her at one of these dinners, but he couldn’t imagine someone doing that to his teenage daughter. He instantly went into attack mode. Nobody hurt his kids and got away with it.
“Why?” He hoped Felicia didn’t take offense at his harsh tone. “Did someone say something to her?”
“Oh, no. Nothing like that.” She wrung her hands together.
Now that he’d stepped into the shade of the tree, his eyes were adjusting, and he could see her more clearly.
“Gage, she’s your daughter. Her mother just died. How do you think she felt when she heard your jet crashed last year?” Felicia’s words cracked at the end as if she weren’t unaffected by the idea of it, either.
He sank to the bench beside her and wrapped his arm around her in comfort. It was an automatic reaction that he didn’t consider until she stiffened under his touch. But before he could pull back, she relaxed into his embrace.
“Are you okay?” Her voice sounded watery. “Were you hurt?”
Her reaction stunned him. Yeah, he hoped that she’d mourn him on some level if he’d died, but he never expected this kind of response so many years after they’d bro
ken up.
He ran his hand up the bare skin of her arm, his palm electrifying at the sensation of her smooth skin under it. “I’m fine. It was a mechanical malfunction that resulted in a crash. I did some damage to my spine when I ejected. I was lucky.” It had been way too close of a call. “But I’m getting too old to handle the g-forces, especially after a spinal injury, so the docs decided it was best to ground me...at least from flying the fighter jets.”
He missed flying, but not as much as he thought he would. That mechanical failure had been a wakeup call. He’d had lots of close calls over the years, but never one where he truly thought he wouldn’t be waking up the next morning still alive.
“Dammit, London didn’t know about the crash, did she?” He’d never considered if Chelle had told the twins. He’d just assumed she had.
“No.” Felicia shook her head.
That movement of her hair loosened her scent—honeysuckle and mint. It brought back all the memories from when they’d dated. She must still use the same shampoo. After they’d broken up, he’d searched out the brand, but was never able to find it. He missed it...missed her smell.
“She was really upset, Gage. I know you feel like you’re not close with the twins, but the idea of losing you devastated her. You probably should talk to her about it and maybe talk to her about losing her mother, too. I know that grief had to play into her reaction. Teenagers are so emotional, anyway. It might be worth looking into some grief counseling for both of them.”
“I hadn’t even thought about that, but you’re right.” The family support center had family counseling, but he didn’t know either of the twins enough yet to even guess how they’d respond to the suggestion. How sad was that?
“You’re thinking too hard,” Felicia said in a low, intimate tone.
That voice of hers, combined with sitting so close to her in the dark, did things to him. He could feel the heat coming off her skin, and it sent tendrils of awareness to the base of his cock. He dug low for some control, because that shouldn’t happen...not as long as she had a boyfriend.
“Yeah...” Gage grimaced. “When faced with just how much I’ve screwed up over the years, a little reflection is the least of what I should do. So many bad choices, wrong choices that hurt the people I loved. I’ve been a fool. I’m sorry, Felicia.” He stood up, putting some much needed space between the two of them before he made another really rotten life choice.