She shrugged. “I’d forgotten what it’s like to unwind and forget about everything for a while. Since my divorce it’s been one thing after another, but today felt like a normal day of celebration with family and friends—that perhaps life could be normal again.”
“Normal,” he murmured. “I have no idea what that word means anymore. Perhaps when I do, I’ll be able to move forward again with my life. Seems as though I’m spinning my wheels and can’t get out of my own way to save myself.”
“Having your whole world turned upside down and inside out would be confusing to anyone I think. Although our situations are vastly different and I can’t truly begin to understand yours, I realize that the emotional scars are often the hardest to heal and can stay raw for a long time. When you were sick, you called out in your sleep about the war. At first, I thought your nightmare was fever induced, but it wasn’t only the illness, was it?”
“No, I wish it was.”
Amy took a sip of her sherry. “Do you dream about the war in general, or about the battle when you were injured?”
He stared off into the distance, refusing to meet her gaze. “Both. Sometimes it’s all a jumble, but mainly I relive the day I was wounded. I thrash around quite a bit. Mostly, I toss and turn and mumble aloud.” He thought it best to skip the fact he sometimes sat straight up and began screaming like a madman. He took another sip of his beer.
“Have you thought of speaking to someone about it?”
He bit back a laugh. “It’s not something most people want to hear about nor would I want to burden anyone with the images I carry around in my head.”
“I meant someone like a doctor.”
“Are you talking about a head shrink? I had one assigned to me when I was in the hospital. I can’t say as it helped much.”
“Men,” Amy said with frustration. “Have you been to the Batavia VA? Maybe you should give it try. I think they offer support services for returning vets.”
“Been there a couple of times for my prosthesis is all.”
Amy rolled her eyes. “All I’m saying is maybe you should give it another shot.”
Will finished the last of his beer and said nothing.
She gave him a disgusted sigh. “Fine, I’ll shut up. It’s your life.”
She got up, went into the kitchen and returned with another glass of sherry and the last beer.
“Thanks.” He took the bottle. “Being here on the farm and working in the fresh air has done wonders. I had way too much time to sit around and feel sorry for myself before.”
Amy stared at her glass of sherry and asked, “Where will you go once the last of the crops are in?”
“I’m not sure yet, probably head back to my folks place in Ohio. I’ve some fences to mend with my family. My parents were not happy when I left to join the Marines. My father and I said some harsh words to each other. Although I’ve written them, I think perhaps it’s time I returned to the fold to make amends. Maybe with a little luck, I can obtain one of the new VA Loans Uncle Sam wants to give away and purchase a small farm of my own. Working here has made me realize it’s not a bad life. I like the idea of being my own man.”
“Oh,” Amy responded without glancing up from her drink which she turned round and round in her hands.
Will thought it best he finish the last of his beer and leave for the barn. The conversation had taken on a personal bent, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to go down that road.
“Will . . .” Amy’s whispered softly. “What happened with your engagement?”
Damn. He knew he should have gotten up and left, and before he could help himself, he snapped back, “What happened to your marriage?”
Amy tensed then smiled at him sadly. “I don’t think I need tell you what happened to mine. My ex is an abusive person who becomes more unpleasant when he drinks. He left me for another woman, whom I suspect wasn’t the first he’d been involved with before I discovered his cheating.”
She gazed at him expectantly. He considered his options then spoke carefully. “She found out I wasn’t the man she thought I was.”
“What do you mean?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed with frustration. “When I returned wounded from the war, Cindy found my change in circumstances hard to bear and not suited to the life she wanted. She broke it off with me shortly after I was sent back from overseas.”
“And there’s been no one else?”
“Hardly,” he said drolly. He had no intentions of spelling out why.
“Oh,” Amy said and fell silent.
He set his beer bottle on the table and stood. “I think I best get on out to the barn, morning will be here before we want it to,” he said gruffly and moved to the edge of the porch. He was halfway across the yard before Amy responded.
“Good-night, my friend.”
He didn’t reply. Her friend he could be, but he wasn’t sure he liked the new status.
Chapter 35
By August the crops were ready to be picked, and Will built a small wooden stand near the road so Amy could sell the ripened produce. He also started driving her to work Saturday mornings so he could take vegetables to the farmers’ market after which he would return to the fields. During the week she worked beside Will in the mornings, then attended to the roadside stand in the afternoons. In the evenings she began canning while Will spent long days in the fields. They both worked twelve to fourteen-hour days with barely a moment to speak, and there was no letup in sight.
With dirty fingers, Amy tucked the loose strands of hair back under the edge of the kerchief she wore tied around her head and sighed with exhaustion. She was hot, sweaty, and bone weary. She and Will had been working nonstop for weeks trying to get the cucumbers and tomatoes picked. By the time they finished one field, the other field needed to be repicked as more of the vegetables ripened. Thankfully her mother came to watch Thomas and mind the roadside stand during the week, and Travis and Fran came on weekends to help Will while she worked at the diner.
She was glad that summer was almost over. Labor Day came and went and the days and nights cooled as the fall weather began to creep in. Normally she loved autumn with its changing leaves and cooler weather, but this year it brought the impending loss of Will, and she would miss him dearly. After the Fourth of July they’d fallen into an easy comradery. Amy accepted Will’s emotional limitations and extended the hand of friendship which he accepted with alacrity. They worked side-by-side like a well-oiled machine making the most of the daylight hours to finish bringing in the last of the crops—a day to be celebrated and mourned at the same time, as Will had set his departure date for October fifteenth. They’d no sooner loaded the last bushel of cabbage when the temperature plummeted bringing an early frost and putting an end to their long work days.
Amy finished washing the last of the breakfast dishes and poured a second cup of coffee before plopping down in a chair at the kitchen table. After weeks of working shoulder-to-shoulder with Will it seemed strange to sit idle. Oh, she had chores, but nothing that couldn’t wait. Will would be returning from the barn shortly to go over the farm records with her so they could settle up. Her stomach ached at the thought. Once they reviewed the books, there would be nothing left keeping Will, and he would be free to leave unless she could come up with a reason to make him stay.
Will’s rap at the door brought her out of her maudlin thoughts, and she pasted on a smile.
“I have both my daily logs and the sales accounts to go over with you. I think you’ll be pleased when you see the end result.”
Not as pleased as I would be if you said you would stay on through the winter. “Good.” She rose and moved to the stove. “Take a seat, and I’ll get you another cup of coffee.”
“Thanks. We had a bumper crop, but unfortunately prices dipped this year,
so the numbers are not as good as they would have been a year ago.” He opened the record book and carefully went over all the expenses they incurred followed by the profit they’d taken in from the market days and the larger crops like the tomatoes which were sold to Hunts. “I’ve deducted my monthly wage, the seed money, and my percentage of the profit that we agreed upon. I’ll need you to write me a check for that amount. The remainder is your profit which should get you through the winter and set you up with seed and wage money for next year.”
“Oh, my.” Amy gazed with amazement at the bottom line. For the first time in a year, she would be able to relax and not have to wonder whether she would be able to make the farm note or buy groceries. She placed her hand on Will’s and squeezed. She struggled to hold back the tears of gratitude threatening to leak out from the corners of her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Will’s stoic expression softened and the lines near his mouth flicked up. His steely gaze locked with hers in a moment of harmony so keenly felt, Amy was tempted to beg him to stay, but rather than risk spoiling the moment bit her lip and glanced away.
Will took a sip of his coffee and then opened the second book he brought in with him. “Here I’ve logged my daily work activities from the first day I started. That way you’ll have a record for next year. It will tell you when and how to begin in the spring. You won’t need to rely on anyone but yourself.”
Amy put her head in her hands and began to cry tears of joy and sadness. Will had given her the gift of independence which would allow her to carry on without him, but oh how she would miss him. Caught up in her own emotions, she didn’t hear Will move until she felt his hands lightly squeeze her shoulders which made her cry even harder.
Will pulled her chair out from the table, and the next thing she knew she was wrapped tightly in his arms.
“Shh. Don’t carry on so. You’ll be fine. Everything will work out. You’ll see.”
She shook her head against his shoulder and cried harder. She cried for what was and what could have been if only she could make him stay. She lifted her head, pleading with her eyes.
Will tightened his hold then groaned as their lips met in a flurry of kisses each one becoming more demanding than the next until he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the sofa in the living room. Lost in passion, neither gave a thought to the lad playing in his bedroom until his footsteps were heard pounding down the stairs.
For a large man, Will moved quickly, and before Amy could utter a word she heard the kitchen screen door slam shut right as her son came barreling around the corner.
“I’m hungry, Mommy.”
With shaking hands, she made her way to the kitchen to fix a snack for her son and a soothing cup of tea for herself. As Thomas nattered on, her mind wandered off to what life would be like if she and Will were married. Just the thought made her feel warm and tingly inside. Life with Will would be vastly different from her marriage to Rob. If only she could devise a way to convince him to stay, but what was there left to say that hadn’t already been said.
Maybe that was the problem. As this morning indicated, he was not totally immune to her charms, and yes, she could now admit that perhaps she had some. Will had made her feel desirable again, and she longed to be held against his warm skin. In fact, the thought of not ever doing so sent her mind and heart into a tizzy. God what she wouldn’t give for one night with him. Oh, she would prefer a lifetime, but if all she could have is one night, then like a starving dog offered a bone, she’d take what she could get and be damned the consequences.
Once she’d made her decision the rest of the day moved in slow motion. She completed her chores and fixed lunch and dinner, but her mind remained on the evening ahead. She handed Will a check for the money she owed him after supper and having withdrawn back into his shell, he politely thanked her. Neither spoke of what had happened earlier on the sofa.
After she put Thomas to bed, she poured herself a glass of Sherry for courage and soaked in the tub. As she relaxed, she realized she’d begun to feel like the Amy of old—the girl who doggedly pursued her brother’s best friend and flying buddy despite his lack of encouragement. The girl who Fran accused of being excessively spunky was still hidden behind the walls she erected to keep her safely protected from her abusive husband, but no more would she remain in the shadows. Amy Lake was back and about to roar.
Chapter 36
Will finished packing the last of his few personal items in his duffle bag and leaned it against the wall. He gazed around the room and smiled at its color, remembering both his and Travis’s reaction when they first saw it. Now this room and its garish green paint had grown on him as had the slip of a girl and her son residing in the small farmhouse across the yard. Leaving would be harder than he first expected, but something he felt compelled to do. Sorely tempted to stay, he quashed those emotions. He knew he’d yet to tame his demons, and unless he felt whole again in the metaphorical sense then he wasn’t any good to anyone.
With a sigh at his impending loss, he removed his clothing, blew out the oil lamp, and slid down for the last time in his small bed. He never thought when he settled there he would come to consider it home, but he had. He had just dozed off when a noise brought him to alertness. Someone was in the barn. The question was, who? Having removed his prosthesis, he felt vulnerable and reached along the edge of the bed for his boot, but stopped when a feminine scent wafted into the room.
Amy. He’d no sooner made that realization and relaxed back into the bed, when she lifted the covers slightly and slid under them, pressing herself against him. He groaned.
“Will,” she whispered right before her hands stroked his face. “Please.”
Will thought he had a constitution stronger than most, but he was only human. He hadn’t been touched by a female in more years than he cared to count, let alone by one he truly desired. There was only so much a man could take, and the fragile thread that had been keeping him in check snapped like a dry twig underfoot and he was lost, caught up in the passion that burned brightly between them.
His hands slid up around her waist and locked her to him as his lips began to plunder hers. In the darkness their flaws were hidden, allowing them free reign to touch and explore. He ran his hands up and down her back smoothing the thin material of her nightgown flat against her silky skin, wishing he could feel its softness. With a lightning-fast decision, he grabbed the edges of the flimsy gown and yanked it up and over her head, dropping it on the rug beside the bed.
She neither resisted nor complained.
As he ran his hands along the sides of her arms down to her waist, he felt the goosebumps rise on her tender skin, and he swiftly flipped them so she lay protected beneath him, cocooned in his warmth.
“Will,” she whispered, frantically placing kisses along his jaw line. “Will.”
He knew exactly what she wanted and had every intention of giving it to her and bedamned tomorrow. Then in a sudden moment of sanity, he drew back. “Are you sure?”
Amy’s hands tightened on his hips as she yanked him to her. “Oh, God, yes.”
Afterwards, neither said a word as they lay in the aftermath of their passion. Will held Amy tightly against him and took a deep breath, and then another, as his eyelids grew heavy. One minute he was dozing off content and sated, snuggled against a warm female body, and the next Thomas the cock was waking him to the first morning rays. He could feel the space in the bed beside him had turned cold. Amy must have returned to the farmhouse in the middle of the night. She wouldn’t leave Thomas alone in the house until morning.
At least that would make it easier for him. He’d already arranged for Travis to pick him up at first light and drop him at the train station. He hated good-byes. Never was any good at them. He’d written Amy a note which he placed beside the oil lamp on the bedside table. Eventually she’d find it.
Travis would accuse him of taking the coward’s way out, and perhaps he was. He only knew that until he came to peace with his war memories and felt like himself again, he’d nothing to offer anyone else. Maybe in the spring if he rid himself of the ghosts that haunted him, he’d return.
Bloody fool. What makes you think she’ll take you back if you leave now, or even be here waiting for you if you do? Will clamped his jaws together, ignoring the thoughts running amok in his mind. He heaved his duffle bag over his shoulder, called to Shep and began the trek down the long driveway to await his ride. He refused to glance back.
Travis was his usual plucky self. He’d always been a morning person and loved to torture Will with his early dawn enthusiasm for life. “You’re a might sour today, my friend, having second thoughts about walking out on that girl who’s as sweet on you as you are on her? From where I sit, it’s a pretty dumb move.”
Will grunted. “Brains were never your strong suit, so stuff a sock in it and leave me be.” He tipped his head back against the seat, yanked his hat down over his forehead, and closed his eyes.
Travis began to whistle as he drove the remainder of the way to town not saying another word.
Chapter 37
March 2013
“You must have been devastated when Will left.” Callie said, turning to Amy.
“Oh, I was, dear, I was, but Will was right in leaving. We were both too broken at the time. Neither of us were really ourselves. I’d lost much of my self-esteem during my marriage to my ex and Will had yet to come to terms with his internal and external wounds. We were two halves seeking to make a whole. Besides, it all worked out in the end, now didn’t it?”
Callie glanced from Amy to Will who appeared washed out with exhaustion. “I’ve kept you two up way too long talking. Let me help you get ready for bed. We have plenty of time to finish the story.”
When The Geese Fly North Page 16